The Tension And The Spark
by Grace Ryan
Summary: A/U Nerdy!Blaine and Popular!Kurt. Kurt's a popular new student at McKinley and secretly gay. Blaine has a case of love at first sight to the new jock and teen royal of McKinley. But in true Klaine and Grace-Ryan fashion, things can never be that simple for them to be happy. Struggles and tension ensue while they manage to hold onto the spark that ignites. Rated M language and smut
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, darling readers. it has been far too long, hasn't it? :P**

**I am uploading this on Fanfiction appreciation day as a thank you to all of you amazing readers of mine.**

**I hope that you enjoy this new fic as much as you have laughed, cried, loved, hated, and yelled at the others. :)**

**So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. Thank you. Thank you for every word you have read and comment you've sent my way.**

**xoxo Grace**

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**Chapter 1**

Blaine sat picking at a few left over croutons in his salad at lunch among his group of glee club friends at lunch. Here and there was chatter about different songs that they were planning on singing for this week's glee lesson. Blaine already knew what song he was going to sing and he already had the arrangement for it as well.

"Hey!" Brittany exclaimed as she skipped over to the table. She took a seat next to Tina Cohen-Chang and looked like she had the newest gossip that she was ready to spew. "Did you guys see the new kid?"

"Yeah," Mike said between sips of soda. "He's in all my advanced placement classes."

"And I saw him talking to coach Roz this morning. I heard he's on the swim team," Sam added.

"Did you see his clothes?" Tina asked. "They're all designer and his fashion is impeccable."

Santana craned her neck. "Designer?! He must have money. Is he hot?"

"Who cares?" Sugar added. "Everyone's hot when they have money."

"Can he sing?" Rachel asked.

"Guys!" Blaine interrupted. "He's just a kid like the rest of us. He's not royalty or anything."

Brittany was looking at another table on the far end of the cafeteria. "Based on what I can see, he looks like teen royalty to me. He's got everyone at the popular table laughing and eating out of his palm."

"Screw this. I'm going over. I'm McKinley's top ho and I still have enough cred to sit with those losers." She grabbed Brittany's hand and had her in tow in seconds.

After a roll of his eyes, Blaine went back to picking at his croutons. The fact that everyone went crazy for this new kid before even knowing him bothered him. It bothered him because he was the center of attention when it came to the insults from the jocks. Popularity seemed to come easy to the new kid when Blaine didn't have the bully free immunity that he got so easily. It wasn't fair.

"Are you really thinking about graduating early?" Artie asked. "You'd miss out on another year of defending our national championship."

Blaine looked up again, pointed his pitiful gaze at Artie across the table. "Spend another year of being pushed around and taunted by Lima's finest losers in this place? No thank you." His eyes moved over to look at the same people he hated. He was about to scowl, but his attention was taken when a large right tackle got up from the table and gave way to a beautiful new face.

The beautiful face belonged to a lithe boy, no- not a boy, a young man. He had a worldly air to him. He sat straight up and his shoulders didn't sag forward or down. His skin was perfectly pale and without one blemish that Blaine could see. The boy laughed and showed perfect teeth and dimples like a cherub. Instantly, Blaine was smitten. He was perfect.

A pair of blue eyes flicked and met his own. Blaine flinched and sat up, startled. When he realized he was leering and openly staring, he averted his eyes quickly and looked wide-eyed at his empty salad bowl.

"Is that him?" Tina asked. Blaine didn't move.

Mike looked in Tina's eye line direction. "The skinny kid sitting next to Quinn? Yeah. His name is Kurt. Nice guy. Really smart."

Really hot,

Blaine added in his mind. "I'm going to go to my locker." Blaine gathered his things and stood up from the table. "See you guys later." He tossed his empty salad bowl and milk carton in the trash and rushed off to his locker.

23, 48, 6.

He clicked the dial on his locker combo and lifted the latch to open the lock. He always liked the sound of a combination lock and a locker opening. He just had taken his books out of his bag when he felt the hard shove of a football player's shoulder. Blaine's books dropped to the floor and he slammed against the cold metal.

"Ass muncher! Fucking freak!" Different jocks taunted.

Blaine looked up to see the faces of his assailants, though he knew the owners of the voices already. Only, this time, they were joined by a beautiful face as well. He felt like his heart fell. Blaine's perfect dream guy wasn't perfect after all. He quietly spied Kurt's face as if to telekinetically say "I thought you were different, but you're one of them." Kurt's face looked back at him with alarm.

True, Kurt hadn't insulted Blaine like the others and he wasn't the one who shoved him, but he was with them and didn't help him, so that made him as equally guilty as the others. He thought he saw Kurt wince for a millisecond and one of the other jocks shoved him again. "Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer, butt pirate."

"What's your problem?!" Kurt said with a raised voice. "He was literally just at his locker, minding his own business, and you went out of your way to do _this_? _So_ not cool!"

Everyone, including Blaine gawked at Kurt. He had no need to stand up for Blaine. Kurt hadn't even known him and he came to his rescue, albeit a delayed one, but attempted to help nonetheless. "What was that?" a large jock demanded at Kurt.

"Dude, my father is a state congressman. I can't get caught up in this kind of shit. It'll get back to my dad."

"What? Afraid you'll get grounded?"

"No. Afraid the newspapers and Channel Nine News will say that my dad can't control or straighten out his son. You think _you're_ popular?" Kurt declared, standing up and talking down to the jock. "Everyone in the state of Ohio and the White House knows who I am. _You _try pulling this shit and not caring that the country is going to label you an asshole." His eyes didn't move a muscle. He was daring the jock to move or come back from what Kurt said. "Just leave the kid alone. He didn't do anything to you."

"The kid's a fag."

"So? Was there something about the way he took his books out of his bag that offended you? If he minds his own business, you can mind yours."

"Fuck this!" announced a smaller jock named Ian. He was on the wrestling team.

Kurt promptly got in his way. "I _said_ leave him alone."

"Or what? You going to tell your Daddy on us?"

"That's real funny coming from a guy who follows Karofsky around like a little pet. You sure _you're_ not the gay one, Ian?"

Ian began to advance on Kurt, who didn't budge. Like Blaine thought earlier, Kurt had something Blaine didn't, immunity. Karofsky got in Ian's way and stopped him. "Cool the fuck down and let's get out of here." It seemed like everyone had forgotten that Blaine was even there, but he didn't move in fear that whatever hierarchy Kurt was setting up now would change and he would be pummeled. Despite what Blaine thought earlier, it turned out that Kurt really was teen royalty. His father was a state politician and Kurt was famous throughout the state because of this. His face was in every newspaper next to his father and Hummel was a household name. Not even the jocks would try anything with Kurt in fear that they would lose their status at this school. But whatever status they had, it was clear, Kurt was now the new King of McKinley High School… and he just defended and stood up for Blaine.

Without saying anything, the jocks and Kurt started to walk away from Blaine. Blaine still didn't move. He stared after the pack of boys in utter astonishment at what had just transpired. Then he saw it. Kurt, behind the rest, chanced looking behind him and gave Blaine a half smile.

Feeling stunned and confused, Blaine quickly gathered his things for his next couple classes and hurried off to class. He didn't know why Kurt did that. No one had ever stood up for him like that, not even his friends, ever. Blaine tried to shove it out of his head for his next class because it was one that he enjoyed, Art class. He would have sat down sooner, but there was already someone in the classroom other than the normal Artsy kids who ate lunch in the classroom instead of the cafeteria.

Figures, Blaine thought as he forced himself to unfreeze in the doorway and walk to his seat. Kurt was in his class. He sat right behind him, in fact, with his things perfectly organized in front of him. Blaine took out a sketch pad and a box full of different types of pencils for drawing or sketching. He was trying to ignore his pounding heartbeat and pretend that Kurt Hummel wasn't sitting behind him. He flipped to a blank page and absently started drawing a detailed picture of one of the plastic chairs in the choir room on the tiled floor.

"Hey!" Kurt called, leaning forward to get closer to Blaine. "Hey, guy." It occurred to Kurt that he didn't know the name of the boy he defended in the hallway.

Blaine's hand halted its actions. _Please don't ask me about the hallway. Please don't ask me something about the hallway_, he chanted in his head. He turned around in his seat, fear present on his face.

Kurt smiled, showing his perfect teeth and adorable dimples. "Hi. Sorry if I'm bugging you," he paused and waited for a response from Blaine, but Blaine just shook his head very quickly. "Is this a lecture class or are we going to be doing something? I like art, but I think talking about it is boring." This time Blaine nodded and Kurt laughed. "Well, which one is it? A lecture or- hey, you draw?" his attention was averted to Blaine's sketchpad. "Are you any good? Can I see?" Blaine blinked a few times, but silently handed over his pad.

He watched nervously as Kurt flipped through the pages. "Wow. You're really good. I like this one." Kurt tapped his index finger on a drawing of Blaine's room complete with detailed accents and his unmade bed. "Is this your room?" Blaine's head bobbed up and down again. Kurt laughed softly again. "Do you ever talk?" Blaine nodded his head once more, still in utter shock and awe, which elicited another chuckled from Kurt. "I'm Kurt," he introduced, offering Blaine his hand.

Blaine gulped and stared at the hand in front of him.

"Blaine!" Noah Puckerman called out as he entered the classroom and sat next to Blaine. "Dude, please tell me that I can borrow the Spanish notes. I couldn't make it to class today because I was hooking up with a Cheerio under the bleachers." Both Kurt and Blaine were looking at Puck. For a second Puck got the idea that he was interrupting something. "Sup," he said to Kurt. "I'm Puck."

"Kurt."

"Oh yeah. You're that congressman's kid."

"That's me."

"Welcome to McKinley, Bro." The bell rang and Puck turned around.

Kurt handed the sketchpad back to Blaine, but not before he held onto it for too long and caught Blaine's gaze. "Nice to meet you, Blaine."

Blaine gulped again and nodded in the affirmative one last time.

"Dude, was I interrupting something?" Puck whispered to Blaine once class started.

"No," Blaine whispered back. "He was just looking at my sketches."

"Is he into dudes?"

"He's hanging out with the jocks." He rolled his eyes like this should have been an obvious answer. "Do you think he's into guys?" he finished sarcastically.

"You're gay and you hang out with jocks."

"You, Finn, Mike, and Sam are in glee club too. Even though you all are the most popular guys in school, you don't count because you're in Homo Explosion."

"I'm just saying, dude. He's extremely well-groomed. He could be, ya know." He bent his hand to make it look limp, an action Blaine chose to ignore just because it was Puck and he meant well.

"Puck, the only person out in this school is me and despite my suspicions of other people, no one is coming out to march in the parade anytime soon."

"But-"

"Shh, I'm trying to work."

That was the end of the discussion. The rest of the class was spent with Blaine using Puck as a model for a sketch as Puck attempted to paint a clown jumping into a giant cake.

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**I'm holding a cover art contest for anyone who wants to take part. It can be a manip, drawing, fic-art, anything you want. I'm currently not liking the cover I have, but it is suitable for now. **

**What did everything think of the start?**

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: grace-ryan**

**xoxo Grace**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

At the end of the day, Blaine had gym class. It wasn't his favorite class, but he was pretty athletic for what it was worth. He wouldn't have labeled himself a jock, and neither would anyone else for that matter, but he was on the fencing team and, because McKinley didn't have a boxing league, Blaine did boxing and karate outside of school. He knew he could have easily beaten up any of his tormentors because he really was that good at both self defense activities, but his confidence wasn't there and being violent wasn't in his nature. Just because he could do something, doesn't mean he would.

In the locker room, his head was buried in his locker trying to find a clean gym shirt. He really did need to bring his dirty clothes home today.

"Hello again," came the sing-songy voice of Kurt Hummel an empty locker three lockers away.

Blaine jumped because he thought he was the only one to have a locker in this corner for the specific reason that most of his male peers didn't want to change their clothes in front of a gay guy. _Didn't those jerks already tell him that I was gay? _he thought.

"Fancy meeting you here," Kurt said in a lower, pretend voice, following the comment up with a smile. He began reaching into a gym bag and starting putting what looked like a week's worth of clothes and different products for skin care and shower products.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked, scaring himself at the knowledge that his thoughts fell from his lips. He hadn't intended on saying anything because he was so nervous around this beautiful creature.

Kurt gasped sarcastically. "He speaks?"

Blaine turned back to his locker, pulling out his gym shoes and trying to hide his pink cheeks. _Good going, Blaine! He's been trying to talk to you and the first thing you say to him is 'What are you doing?' Stupid. Seriously stupid._

"You're a man of few words, huh?"

Blaine finally found a clean shirt and shorts and put them on top of his shoes. Since he wasn't alone, he thought he would change in a bathroom stall instead. "N-no. I can- I can talk plenty. I was just wondering what you were doing over here. The popular kids all have lockers on the other end."

"I like my privacy."

"I'm gay." Blaine said it like he might as well have added a 'Duh' on the end of it. Like his sexuality wasn't common knowledge enough.

Kurt chuckled softly, making Blaine gulp and flick his eyes down to Kurt's mouth for a second only. "And?"

"You're not worried I'm going to take a peek at your junk or whatever the hell the other guys think I might do?"

"That's stupid. I'm pretty sure you're not out to molest and convert me." He started to unbutton his vest and Blaine averted his eyes, now looking for gym socks. "Besides, you couldn't molest someone," he pulled his vest off and pulled his shirt over his head, "who wanted the attention."

Blaine's head shot straight up, he was completely frozen and wasn't sure if he heard Kurt's statement correctly. And if he did, did he understand it the way it was meant to be understood? _Was he just confessing his homosexuality to me? _By the time he came back to reality and remembered that he needed to change his clothes, Kurt was completely dressed in his gym clothes. He grabbed a pair of socks and turned to gather everything in his arms to go to the bathroom stalls.

That's when he felt Kurt's exceedingly close proximity. He froze again. Kurt brought his lips very close to Blaine's ear and whispered gently. "And you can take a peek at my junk whenever you want." Blaine's face whipped around to look at Kurt. Their faces were so close. Centimeters away from each other. His breath hitched.

Kurt smiled and backed away slowly before turning and leaving Blaine standing there completely taken aback and unable to move.

The class time was spent playing kickball and Blaine and Kurt were on separate teams, which Blaine was completely okay with. His day had turned out to be exceedingly strange. First, the new kid let him get bullied, and then the same new kid defended him and threatened his tormentors. Third, he complimented his artwork, and lastly, the very same person, whom did all these things, selected a gym locker close to his and may or may not have hit on Blaine. He tried his best, but he couldn't stop his eyes from glancing and, more than twice, full on staring at the delicate body that was Kurt Hummel who played the second baseman.

When it was his turn up to kick, the pitcher, one of his bullies, smiled a cocky grin, expecting the nerdy gay kid to strike out. Blaine stared at him, daring the pitcher to try his best, because Blaine would definitely not miss or gently tap the ball. As predicted, the bully bowled the ball fast and with a lot of strength. Blaine focused and waited for just the right moment to connect with the ball. His foot pendulumed forward and kicked the ball, sending it far across the gymnasium. The outfield went running and Blaine, wanting to taunt the pitcher, just began to lightly jog from base to base. If he ran, he could have made it to the third base, maybe even back to home plate, but he laughed to himself and stopped jogging at second base.

"Nice kick," Kurt complimented.

"Thanks?"

"You don't have bad legs either."

Blaine whipped his head to face Kurt again, just as he had earlier in the locker room. There was no mistaking the tone and words this time. Kurt was flirting.

"Blaine, run!" a team mate called out.

He was so stunned that he hadn't noticed another player kick the ball and start running for first. Without thinking or processing anything mentally, he took off running for third base. Again, he could have made it to home plate, but he was distracted and not paying attention.

The kicker after that struck out and the one after him sent Blaine and the person behind him running for home base. His team won.

When the bell rang to signal the end of class, Blaine decided to forgo a shower because he had fencing practice after this and he would just get all sweaty again. So, he just moved to a different locker, one near his own, yet separate and larger from his gym locker, and took out his fencing gear.

"Is that a sword, or are you just happy to see me?"

Blaine jumped and turned around. "What?" he coughed out.

"It was a joke."

"I know. Look, are you making fun of me or something, or what, because I'm not really sure what your deal is."

"You know, I'm really surprised no one figured it out yet. Maybe they're just too scared to offend the congressman's son." He tugged his shirt over his head and toed off his shoes, leaving him standing in nothing but a pair of shorts and tube socks.

"Figured what out?"

"Seriously?" An eyebrow lifted on Kurt's face. He was really in disbelief. Kurt thought for a second and smoothed his expressions out. "Okay," he started as he edged closer to Blaine, "promise not to tell anyone?"

"Sh-sure," Blaine stuttered.

"Your bashful school boy thing is super hot," he said in hushed tones so no one could hear them. "And I chose this locker because I know it would give you and I a little alone time."

Blaine's heart began to pound again the closer Kurt got. He found himself flushed up against his locker, swallowing hard when he came to a realization. "Wait, you're-"

His words were muffled by the swift movement of Kurt's hand covering Blaine's mouth. "Don't say it… but yes." He slowly lifted his hand off Blaine's mouth.

"H-how?" He shook his head slowly from side to side in disbelief. He meant to say: How is this possible. "This whole time… you've been… f-flirting?"

Kurt's smile came back. "Yeah." There was a pause. "Blaine, you're hot, like, really hot and I've been checking you out all day." Blaine went speechless again and gulped as his eyes bore nervously into Kurt's. "You look surprised."

"I-I-I am."

"Why?"

"Because you're p-popular and w-why would you want anything to do with me? I'm nerdy and a f-freak."

"You shouldn't say that about yourself. You're not a freak. You're hot, interesting, and this whole shy thing you have going on is adorable. I want to get to know you more."

"You mean that?"

"Yes."

"Hummel!" a voice yelled over the lockers. It was from another member of the swim team. Kurt backed off from Blaine and he heard the padding of wet feet coming their way. "Everything okay?" a few pairs of eyes shifted between Blaine, who was clutching his fencing gear, and Kurt, who was half naked.

"Yeah. Fine," he replied with no effort. "I just wanted to see his sword." Blaine struggled to keep from widening his eyes.

"Oh, well," the guy said oddly, "hurry up. Coach Roz makes us do extra laps if anyone is late."

"Alright. Be right there."

The jocks walked away in their skin tight swimsuits that left nothing to the imagination and as soon as they were out of earshot, Kurt chuckled and smiled greatly. Blaine, on the other hand, made his eyes go wide. When Kurt saw Blaine's face, he laughed harder as he took out a red pair of Speedos. "A double entendre is always funny when it's an innuendo."

"Kurt, you can't say things like that!" Blaine exclaimed quietly.

"Why not?"

"Because!" He really didn't have any other form of defencse except that one little word because he was so stunned.

Kurt smiled again, not fazed by Blaine's obvious uncomfortability. "Too bad you're not on the swim team." He took his socks off and tossed them in his locker. "I wouldn't mind seeing more of you, if you know what I mean." He smirked again and flipped his Speedo over his shoulder before heading for the bathroom stalls.

By now, Blaine had lost track of how many times Kurt had left him speechless that day.

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**Thank you to everyone who read and commented on chapter 1... even the one person who said this story sucks... I'm posting it on Tumblr for anyone who wants to see it... You all made Fanfic Writer Appreciation day very special for me :)**

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

By the end of the week, Santana and Brittany convinced Kurt to join Glee club saying that it's cooler than it looks, despite what the other jocks were saying because half the people in the glee club were cool anyway. Because the glee club was one person short of the required twelve members, Mr. Shuester let Kurt join instantly without an audition.

Kurt took a seat in the back between Santana and Sugar Motta. His seat was directly behind Blaine and Blaine could feel Kurt's eyes burning holes in the back of his head. During Santana's solo from the assigned theme of the week, Kurt leaned forward, putting his lips dangerously close to Blaine's ear. "You doing anything this weekend?"

Blaine held his breath for a second. After a week of Kurt's innuendos and flirtatious glances and comments, he thought it would have been easier to talk to or be around the beautiful boy, but it was still a lot of effort to not self combust from anxiousness and nerves. He gulped and whispered, "I have a family thing. My brother is in town this weekend."

"Some other time then." It wasn't a question. He didn't wait for Blaine to answer as if he knew Blaine would say yes anyway. He leaned back in his chair and clapped when Santana was finished.

When glee club was over, Blaine couldn't have been happier for the weekend. He had a free afternoon and he and Tina had plans to go to Between the Sheets and look at sheet music for fun. Kurt left without saying anything to Blaine with the cheerleaders and that was that. Blaine was thankful because he didn't want to explain anything to the rest of the group about why his face was blushing six shades of red.

He was rustling through some stacks of 90s pop music because he had an idea to rearrange something to make it sound more modern.

"Too bad boy bands were a 90s thing. You would have been the heartthrob for sure."

Not recognizing the voice, Blaine lifted his head and saw a freckle faced red head in front of him. He could have been the same age, give or take a year. The boy wore a cap that resembled a train conductor's cap and skinny suspenders that were the same shade of his slightly off white shirt. He was pretty, but not dashingly so. "Huh?" was all Blaine could think of to say.

The boy smiled and his almost clear braces were able to be seen. It gave him an even younger boyish look. "I think it would be weird if I repeated my lame attempt at a pick up line. I'm Eli." He stuck out his hand.

"Blaine," he replied, shaking the boy's hand. "What school do you go to?"

"North Lima High. You go to McKinley, right?"

Surprised, Blaine's eyebrows raised, showing his honey eyes even more. "Yeah. How'd you know?"

"My choir went to your sectionals last year. We're not very good, but my director always makes us go to those things to get an idea of where we _could_ be."

"And you remembered me from that?"

"Well yeah." He smiled again. "You've kind of got an unforgettable face."

Blaine blushed a little. This was the second person this week to compliment him, but something about Eli made Blaine feel more comfortable to talk to than Kurt. Kurt was forward Eli was… conversational.

"Find anything good?" Eli asked when there was a long enough awkward pause.

"Not yet, but I was thinking about moving on to grunge. Alanis Morisette would be great to rearrange. I'm thinking that turning one of her songs into a piano ballad might be pretty epic."

"O.M.G." Eli separated the letters slowly for emphasis. "That would be epic. You must be a musical genius."

Blaine blushed. _Really? I'm blushing?_ he asked himself. "Thanks, but I'm not a genius. I have a certain knack for it, but I'm not anything special. I just have training. Over achiever is more like it. What part do you sing?"

"Tenor. I can sing baritone, but there are too many of those already and my director switched me."

"Me too. I mean, I can sing both. Wow, I'm sorry. I must seem full of myself because I keep talking about myself."

"No. Not at all. I didn't come over here to talk about me."

"Blaine, what do you think of an Asian doing Annie Get Your Gun?" Tina had walked over, not looking up to see Blaine talking to his new friend. "Oh, hi!"

"Hi," Eli greeted.

"Tina, this is…" Blaine tried to remember the boy's name, but it slipped because he was nervous.

"Eli." The boy slipped his hand forward and Tina shook it happily.

"Tina."

"I'm a fan of color blind casting myself, so as long as you've got the vocal chops for Anything Goes, I'd say go for it." Eli was sweetly supportive and easily slipped into a friendly conversation. Blaine thought it was a testament to Eli's personality that new people didn't faze this boy in the least and he seemed to be good at walking up to strangers and making friends. It was something he admired and when he looked back at his week with meeting Kurt, he wished he had that ease around people and didn't make an idiot out of himself the first day.

"She's got the chops," Blaine bragged for her.

"Tell that to Mr. Sheuster. He always chooses me for back up."

"Maybe it's because without your support, everything would come crashing down. It takes a lot of strength and certain bravado to always be the beams that support the structure. You're probably the most valued player and just don't know it."

"Wow…" Tina guffawed, turning to Blaine. "I don't think anyone I've ever met has said that to me and we just met. Blaine, I'm sorry," she turned back to Eli, "but can we be besties?" Both she and Eli laughed. "Okay, I'm going to go back and peruse the show tune stacks some more. See you around, Eli."

"Facebook me, Bestee." Eli smiled and Tina giggled as she went away. "So, since I won over your friend…" he paused looking playfully serious and, frankly, a little nervous for the first time since he approached Blaine. "Can I have your number?"

This was a first for Blaine. He'd never been asked this before by someone who seemed interested in him. Not even Kurt, who was blatantly hitting on him asked for his number. Not that Blaine ever pictured Kurt _asking_ for his number. He more or less pictured Kurt demanding it or saying something to the effect of: Give me your number so I can send you blush worthy texts later. When he forced himself out of his shock, he smiled. "Yeah. Sure. Um- Here." He held out his hand for Eli to hand over his phone and punched his contact info in it for him. "If I don't pick up, I'm not ignoring you. I promise. I'm really busy most days and, well, you'll see."

"Then no calling during daylight hours because I am almost guaranteed to miss you?"

"Pretty much."

"Alright then."

A few beats went by and Blaine's phone started to ring in his pocket. "Sorry. Hold on a second." He pulled out his phone and saw a number he didn't recognize.

"That's my number," Eli said. "I wanted to make sure that you didn't give me a fake number."

"Why would I do that?"

"You'd be surprised how often that happens. It seems easier to give a person a phony number than to just say no when someone asks for it."

"That's awful."

"But now you have my number too, so you can call or text whenever. And please do, because I'd really like to get to know you more."

The comment made Blaine smirk, starting to feel overwhelmed with the amount of compliments that he'd been getting this week. "Okay. Will do."

"Cool." He glanced at his phone to check the time. "Damn. I have to go. Talk to you soon?"

"Definitely."

"Great." They exchanged smiles and Blaine watched Eli exit the store.

Over the weekend, Blaine and Eli exchanged texts throughout Saturday and Sunday while Blaine spent time with his family. His brother, Cooper, kept making fun of him and referring to Eli as Blaine's boyfriend, no matter how much Blaine insisted that Eli was just a friend he met on Friday. Cooper thought this was adorable that his baby brother was starting to finally talk to boys the way Cooper talked to girls at his age. He was ten years older than Blaine and only a half brother from their father's first marriage, but it never mattered because they remained close.

By Monday, Blaine was standing at his locker during the time he normally did to go to his locker before the after lunch, on the phone with Eli. They were laughing over a picture Eli sent him earlier of Eli's I-hate-Monday-mornings face. They had quickly become fast friends and Blaine was happily surprised at how easily they flitted into comfort ability with each other. "Did you send Tina the pic? I'm sure she'd love it."

"No. I haven't talked to her yet today." He and Tina were fast friends as well. Their joke about being bestees quickly became a reality through the wonders of Facebook. "She wants to go get smoothies after glee practice though."

"And I wasn't invited?!"

"You have karate this evening, Dummy."

"Oh yeah. Damn, I do miss out on stuff, don't I?"

"Tell me something, what's the point of taking self defense class if you refuse to use it? You can probably kick the crap out of everyone at that school of yours and you still let those jerks push you around."

"I don't know. I kind of like knowing that I can. Maybe I'll snap one day and ninja-style tie them all up to the flag pole."

"I would pay to see that."

They started laughing again and it nearly startled Blaine when Kurt slinked up to him in the empty hallway. "Hi, Blaine."

"Kurt!" He jumped. "Eli, I gotta go."

"That better not be one of those assholes."

"No. It's not. I'll call you later." His eyes were fixated on Kurt's face and blinking rapidly. His heart beat picked up.

"Okay, have fun sparring at karate class."

"Thanks. Bye." He clicked the end button and pocketed his phone.

Kurt absently picked at his nails. "So who's Eli?"

"A friend. We met at Between the Sheets."

A perfectly arched eyebrow rose on Kurt's face and he replied flatly, "That sounds way sexier than it really is."

Blaine smiled wide; stifling what he knew would be an embarrassingly loud laugh. "Yeah. He's pretty cool."

"Is he hot?" Kurt asked playfully.

"Um…" This sounded like the girl talk that he frequently heard the girls gossiping about. He wasn't entirely comfortable discussing this with Kurt. He wasn't even sure if Kurt and he were friends, although after last week, it was becoming easier and easier to talk to him. Sometimes he surprised himself by sounding like a normal person and not a bumbling idiot. Their only interactions were in class, the locker room, and the private comments that Kurt made only for Blaine to hear. "I wouldn't say he was hot, I guess, but that's not really the point of our friendship."

"So, he's friend-zoned?" Kurt sounded way too adamant about knowing the details of Eli and Blaine's friendship. Clearly he wanted to know the correct label, but Blaine wasn't sure why.

"Huh?"

Kurt grinned. "You're so deliciously naïve. I'm asking you if you're interested in him." He made, what Blaine was was an adorable gesture of twisting his neck and shoulders in opposite directions so that his chin met up with his right shoulder. If Blaine wasn't mistaken, this was a position that girls did when they were trying to be cute.

"Oh! No. We're friends. We only just met, so, there's really nothing going on."

This seemed to please Kurt. He leaned against a locker next to Blaine's. "So how was you're weekend?" His tone changed to a more conversational one, something he'd only done a few times since they met.

Conversational was more relaxing for Blaine. He could converse. It was flirting or receiving a flirtacious advance that he had a problem with. "Good. I hung out with my brother." He turned away and started transferring books to and from him messenger bag.

"Oh yeah. I forgot you said he was in town. Did you do anything fun?"

"Yup. We went to a movie and had a fencing match in our back yard."

"Who won?"

"I did," Blaine responded with pride. "He's pissed that I'm better than he is now."

"I'm sure you're better than him at a lot of things." Kurt's eyes flicked down to Blaine's lips for a millisecond.

It was an action that Blaine caught and it shocked him. He still wasn't used to Kurt's forwardness and attraction to him. _Did he just look at my lips? Does he want to kiss me? Is that why he did it?_ Thoughts rushed through Blaine's head and it was a struggle to move past them. "S-So, how was your weekend? I saw you on the news with your dad last night."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yeah. That. I was at a rally with my dad on Sunday, but Friday and Saturday night I was at Scandals."

"The gay bar?" Blaine may have been naïve, but he knew very well that there was a gay bar in West Lima. It was properly named because when it opened, it caused quite a scandal in their sizable small town. In the beginning of its existence, people picketed the establishment, but it got old and they eventually stopped. Not to mention no one cared that they were there and didn't get the desired reactions out of people. Men and women walked hand in hand past the protesters without batting an eye. Some even brought them bottled water from inside saying that they must be thirsty from standing there for long periods of time. The patrons were nothing, but nice while others protested their right to dance and drink with other homosexuals.

He shrugged. "It's okay for what it is, but there's always someone worthwhile to look at, if you know what I mean. Columbus would have been better to party at, but I was only there for a handful of hours. My sonly duty was fulfilled and my dad rewarded me with clothes." Kurt's ability to gloss over topics like gay bars and older men was impressive. It was like these things were everyday topics, like the weather or laundry. "His assistant actually has a surprising talent for fashion." He twisted his body. "I was pleasantly surprised that she picked out these pants. Don't they make my ass look great?" In what wasn't meant to be a cute action, but ended up that way, Kurt started to wiggle his butt that was clothed in skin tight red skinny jeans. He had paired them that day with a white polo shirt, a red, white, and blue sweater vest, and a red fedora.

Blaine stayed silent. This was the kind of thing that still made him nervous to be around Kurt. Kurt was fishing for attention and compliments by asserting his confidence in himself and asking for confirmation. If Blaine agreed, then that meant he liked Kurt's ass and possibly looked at it several times before, but if he said no, then he would be insulting Kurt on many levels. He didn't know what to do, so he didn't say anything.

The lack of comment made Kurt smile because he caught Blaine looking at his ass and loved that he could make Blaine nervous. "So, what are you doing tonight?"

"Glee rehearsal, then karate, then homework and dinner."

"Busy boy."

He gulped, happy that the topic had been changed. "That's me."

"How about meeting me later for dessert?" The final word was elongated and said in a lower voice. It had it's desired effect.

"Oh…" His nerves came back. Kurt hadn't changed the subject so much as just moved it forward. _Was this a date? Was it supposed to be, or is he just asking as friends?_ "Um. I don't know. It's a school night and my parents don't really let me out too late."

"I won't keep you out long. I mean, a limited time would cut into the time I had planned for parking and making out, but I'm sure I can work within my constraints."

"What?!" His volume was low, but the meaning was clear. Blaine was, once again, gobsmacked by Kurt's forwardness.

Kurt immediately burst into fits of laughter. "Chill. I'm kidding! Coffee. I wanted to meet you for coffee."

Blaine let out a long breath and clutched a hand to his chest. "Oh my God, thank goodness."

The laughing stopped on Kurt's end, immediately not liking Blaine's reaction. "Ouch. I wasn't sure if you were interested because you're so shy, but you seem genuinely thankful to whatever higher power that I was joking about making out."

Blaine was confused. He thought they were having friendly banter, but Kurt seemed hurt at the thought that he might not be attracted to him. That was strange. Kurt never acted like that. "What? No- I mean- I'm not- well, I am, but- shit. No. I didn't meant that."

"Which part? Because I understood none of your rambling."

"I didn't mean to insult you."

"I'm not insulted!" Kurt was getting very agitated very fast and Blaine didn't know why. "You think one guy turning me down would insult me? Geez, what kind of guy do you think I am? If I wanted someone, I could get someone, I don't need to-"

"God, Kurt stop!" Blaine interjected. "You're taking this the wrong way. I didn't mean that I was-"

"Hummel!" Kurt's _friends_ called out from down the hall. They were on their way to class. When they approached, they looked over the situation and scowled at Blaine, wondering why Kurt was talking to him. One read the look on Kurt's face. "Everything okay?"

"They are now," Kurt responded, not taking his eyes off Blaine.

"Then come on. We're going to class." Kurt spun on the balls of his feet and went with the jocks. This time he wasn't in back and wasn't looking over his shoulder to Blaine with a smile like he always did. In his place was the short wrestler, Ian, who puffed out his chest and made a quick motion at Blaine to scare him. Blaine flinched and stepped back, eyes closed, to his locker.

The boy left with his friends and Blaine stared in confusion. _What just happened?_ He wondered why Kurt suddenly snapped the way he did and what had he done wrong to make Kurt do that? He knew that Kurt misunderstood him, but he didn't know why or how that happened because prior to Kurt's mood shift, they were laughing. Kurt was joking and being his normal flirtatious self. He asked him on a date, _I think._ So, what was the problem?

Blaine grabbed his things and rushed off to class. Kurt was already in his seat, behind Blaine's, and scribbling on a piece of paper with a scowl still on his face. He took his seat and turned in his chair. Kurt didn't look up. "Can we talk?"

"I have nothing to say."

"Okay, then can I talk and you listen?"

The bell rang and kids started rushing in to make the second bell. Kurt raised the eraser from his pencil in the air to motion to the ringing sound in the room. "Nope."

"Fine." He turned around again and took out his sketch pad. He spent more than half of class on a picture. He made it with different colored ink and by the time he finished, his hands were a mess from mixing colors and smudging marks with his fingers and parts of his hands. After the picture was done, he took an inkwell and a calligraphy pen from the storage closet and returned to his desk. Another ten minutes went by and he ripped the page from his book, blowing on it to help the ink dry. He thought really hard about what he was about to do and whether he'd done the right thing. When he was satisfied, he stole a breath, turned around, and put the picture in front of Kurt, right on his busy hand to make sure he saw it. He then turned back around without a word to give Kurt his privacy.

Kurt stopped his movements with his hand and blinked at the elaborate picture. Blaine had drawn and elaborate scene of parchment paper, on an old fashioned desk, in an old fashioned style room. At the bottom of the parchment, a hand was drawn in, probably Blaine's, signing Blaine's name. It wasn't until he looked at the words on the parchment, that he realized Blaine wrote him a letter:

_Dear Kurt,_

_I don't know where our conversation went wrong. My reaction to what you said about making out being a joke didn't mean that I was thankful. I was nervous. I still am. YOU make me nervous. I'm not used to your kind of attention and, to be honest, I don't know if you're serious or not whenever you say certain things to me._

_I'd imagine you must think I'm crazy for thinking that you might be interested in me, but when I'm around you, I think it's a crazy thought as well._

_Please forgive me?_

_Blaine_

Kurt tore out a piece of paper from his notebook and scribbled three words on it before folding it and gently flicking it at the back of Blaine's neck.

It fell to the floor and Blaine picked up the folded paper without looking at Kurt and quickly unfolded the edges. He covered his mouth to keep from laughing. _You're a nerd._ He licked his lips and let himself smile, knowing that Kurt had forgiven him. He wrote underneath the words in his own scroll: **_So, coffee? My treat?_** and threw it over his shoulder. His confidence was growing and eit surprised him. Maybe Kurt Hummel was rubbing off on him. It was nice to not be so shy over everything that had to do with the tall dreamboat sitting behind him.

The note landed in front of Kurt, on his desk, but Kurt had to slam his hand on the paper to keep it from sliding off. _**7:00. If you stand me up, I'm gonna beat you up with your own sword**. _He refolded the paper and flicked it back at Blaine's head.

Blaine smiled and wrote his response. _**Unlikely. You don't know my locker combination**. _He tossed it over his shoulder again.

**_35-13-46_**

Blaine's eyes widened in surprise.**_ How did you know that?!_ **He turned around a gave Kurt a stunned expression as he placed the paper on his desk and turned back around.

This time, Blaine kicked the back of Blaine's chair and handed the note over with a smirk and a glint in his eyes. This was beginning to become his trademark look whenever he said something to purposely make Blaine blush.**_ I like watching your fingers work. It helps me imagine what else they can do._**

Blaine gulped and didn't respond. _How do you respond to that?_ he thought. He put the note in his pocket and opened up to a sketch he'd been working on over the weekend. Maybe his confidence and shyness with Kurt Hummel still needed some work.

In gym class, they ran laps around the track outside and Blaine couldn't help, but occasionally stare at Kurt's form as he ran. After Kurt mentioned the thing about his pants making his ass look good, Blaine took that as an invitation to look. So he did.

By the time Kurt had fully lapped everyone; he kept pace with Blaine and ran by his side. "You're not even breaking a sweat," he said.

"If the idiots you hang out with don't know that I can run fast, they don't expect it when they start chasing me."

"I'll race you." Kurt's voice was a little strained from huffing his breath. Blaine found it incredibly sexy because it made him think of Kurt being out of breath from other things that had nothing to do with school.

"You'll win. You've lapped me already."

"One lap. I'll race you for one lap."

They decided on a start position and took off, bolting around the track much faster than everyone else. With Kurt's long legs, Blaine thought Kurt had to be letting him win, but when he glanced behind him, he saw that he was far ahead of Kurt. He kept running, pushing himself harder to go faster and faster until he officially won, finishing and beating Kurt by a long shot.

When the running was over, Blaine was out of breath and sweaty, just like everyone else. He took his water bottle and dumped a decent amount on his head, trying to cool himself off. He wondered why Kurt seemed like he wasn't even trying, but he continued with class and didn't say anything until they were away from everyone else in the locker room.

"You let me win."

"No. You won fair and square. Well, even if I was trying, you would have won."

"Why didn't you try?"

"Has anyone ever told you that you have amazing legs?" Blaine lifted an eyebrow, trying not to seem as though his stomach was doing back flips. "And your ass is to die for. I couldn't resist the chance to look."

Blaine smiled a little and let it drop because he didn't want to seem too excited at the compliment. "I think that's the most neutral compliment you've ever said to me."

Kurt flashed Blaine bedroom eyes and responded with, "Would you like me to make it dirtier?"

"No thank you! You flatter me too much as it is."

"Hmm. You'd think after everything I've said to you, I would feel self conscious that you don't return the sentiments."

"But?"

"But I don't… like, at all. If you didn't think about seeing me naked then you wouldn't be so nervous when I hit on you." Blaine froze his motions and stared open mouthed at Kurt. Picking up on the opportunity for his favorite hobby of making Blaine squirm, he advanced on him slowly and flashed his bedroom eyes at him again. "You're nervous because you're hoping I can't read your mind." He was close to Blaine now and he put his hands on the lockers, trapping him in, "And see that you actually picture me wrapped around you in a mess of glistening sweat." He leaned in impossibly close, tilting his head to the side and being so close to Blaine's neck that he could smell Blaine's perspiration.

Blaine could feel Kurt's breath on his neck and hear his own heart beating against his ribs, fighting to break free. He'd never been so turned on and Kurt hadn't even touched him.

"I know you want me. You want me to kiss you right now; to mark your neck with affectionate bites and drag my fingers down your body. Then slowly, but not so gently, make my way to your incredibly sexy mouth, and kiss you like they do in the movies because those are the only ones worthy of your pouty lips."

He put all of his energy into begging his mind to stay calm and not, repeat, NOT show his arousal and to not make his eyes clench shut because that would be giving Kurt the satisfaction of thinking he was right. In all actuality, Kurt Hummel was right on all counts except the movies part, but by god, Blaine did not want him to know that.

Kurt took two fingers from his right hand and gently traced the outside of the side of Blaine's face from temple to chin, his finger tips slicking up with sweat as they went. When he got to Blaine's chin, he took it between his thumb and forefinger and brought his face to Blaine's. "Isn't that right? You like being kissed like actors in a movie?"

Blaine cleared his throat and gulped. "I-I-I. Um. N-never been kissed. I've never been kissed."

And just like that, Kurt dropped his seduction act. He took a step back and let go of Blaine's chin. "Seriously?"

Blaine nodded his head profusely.

"How does that happen to someone as good looking as you? I figured guys would be falling at your feet."

"It just never happened. And up until last week, I've never even been flirted with."

"How is that even possible? You're seventeen and hot."

This was the first compliment that Blaine was ever able to bypass, unfazed, because he knew Kurt was only saying it as a point of reference. He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm pretty alone on the out and proud pride float."

"But. You're. Hot." Kurt repeated it like it was the only argument he needed. "I took one look at you and making you blush became my favorite past time. I don't think you quite grasp the severity of this, Blaine. You're fucking hot."

His shoulders shrugged again and he turned to his locker, taking out his shower toiletries. "However I look, it doesn't change that it hasn't happened."

Kurt leaned against an empty locker and watched Blaine take his socks and shoes off. "You're showering here today?"

"Just a quick wash over of my body. I'll shower properly after karate. It's just that I think the other people in Glee would appreciate me not smelling like I've been sweating for an hour." He took his shirt off, feeling a little self conscious that Kurt was watching him. He'd probably be more comfortable changing in front of anyone else at the moment. He gave Kurt a small look and Kurt knew to not gawk at him while he changed. Instead, Kurt kept his mouth shut and started undressing as well. Blaine wrapped a towel around his waist and slipped his shorts and boxers off underneath the towel. Trying his hardest not to look at Kurt, while he was undressing, he grabbed his toiletries in one hand, clutched his towel in the other, and padded off to the showers.

About five minutes later, when the shower was the right temperature, Blaine stepped under the water, careful not to wet his hair. He was humming a tune and hadn't noticed someone come into the shower room until the water was turned on in the stall next to his. He opened his eyes and glanced to his left. From what he could see, Kurt was naked from the waist up and testing the water with his hand.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked.

"Taking a shower," he answered, playing with the hot water nozzle. "Or, at least, making an attempt to. Do these things ever work right?"

"That one goes from really cold to scalding at random times, so be careful."

"Maybe I should just take a shower with you then." Kurt's grin seemed like he could be joking or telling the truth and it was up to Blaine to decide which he one he wanted.

Blaine chuckled, hoping that it was a joke. He blobbed some body wash on a loofa and started lathering his neck and chest. "If you don't hurry, you're going to be late for Glee practice."

"You mean _we'll_ be late."

"We? I'm almost done?"

"You wouldn't leave me all by my lonesome, would you?" Kurt batted his eye lashes.

"Aren't you worried about people seeing us leaving the showers together?" He didn't care that Kurt was in the closet and they appeared to be secret friends. In fact, he preferred it for now because it allowed him space to cool down after a round or two of Kurt's favorite game.

Kurt made a cocky scoffing sound. "Are you kidding? Everyone's at practice right now and won't be back for another two hours."

"Is that why you came in the showers when you did?"

"Yes."

"So, it wasn't to seduce me?"

"Well, that's why I came in to begin with, but the timing was for another reason entirely." The water changed temperatures and Kurt chanced standing half his body under it and leaning the other half on the tile. If he arched a little he was sure he could see all of Blaine, but he didn't need to do that. It would screw up his progress already.

Kurt motioned with his index finger. "Come here. Lean against the tile."

Blaine was curious, but at this point, he decided not to ask too many questions. He did as he was told. The tiles, despite the temperature of the water, were cold and his skin grew goose bumps where it touched them.

"Now close your eyes."

"Why?" His interest was peaked enough to ask.

"Because I'm going to kiss you," Kurt stated matter-of-factly. "I've thought about it and decided that it would be a great honor to me if I was your first kiss."

"That's incredibly romantic," Blaine joked with a smile. The comment convinced him enough that this was just another game of Kurt's and he wasn't serious. "It's fine. I'm not bothered by the fact that I-" he was silenced by the gentle touch of Kurt's fingers brushing his cheek.

"Just relax," Kurt soothed, looking into Blaine's eyes.

Oh my God, this is happening, isn't it?

Blaine thought.

Kurt's face leaned in, off center.

Panic began to creep up on the short boy, unknowingly clenching his entire body. _Oh God. Holy Shit. _

"Breath. Relax. I want you to enjoy this."

Blaine gulped.

"You do _want_ me to kiss you, don't you?" His voice was soft and sweet. It sent shivers down Blaine's body.

Another gulp. _Yes. Oh God, yes. _"Uh-huh."

Kurt's hand moved to cup one side of Blaine's neck, extending his thumb up, in front of Blaine's ear, and stroking his cheek. He brought his lips closer and ever so gently pressed them to Blaine's cheekbone. A gentle smacking noise and a cool sensation was Blaine's only reminder of what just happened.

Kurt slinked back and released Blaine's face from his touch.

Blaine opened his eyes, batting them, not completely willing to allow himself to believe Kurt kissed him. His stomach was fluttering with butterfly wings and his skin tingled all over. Kurt had only kissed him on the cheek, but it was the most intense feeling he had ever felt in his life. Only a tiny part of him felt: _That's it? Just once on the cheek? _He'd be lying to himself if he wasn't wishing for more, but he was perfectly happy with what transpired moments ago. He stared quietly, unmoving, at Kurt, who was now lathering his body.

"If you don't hurry up, we're going to be late." Kurt's tone was informative, yet gentle, but not sweet and playful as he was earlier.

The comment broke Blaine from his trance and he returned to showering without a word. It was Kurt's tone that worried him. Were things supposed to go differently? Did Blaine not react properly, or was he supposed to do something he hadn't? It was just a kiss on the cheek and he knew he shouldn't worry, but Kurt changed his mood so quickly that it bothered Blaine. He finished before Kurt in the shower and shut the water off, hurrying to his locker with wet feet and a towel wrapped around his waist.

He had his pants and socks on by the time Kurt joined him. Kurt had been right; they were alone in the locker room completely. He began tying his shoes and glanced at Kurt as he passed him in his towel. He purposefully averted his eyes when he opened his locker because he knew Kurt's towel was about to be dropped. When the laces were tied, he returned to his locker to retrieve his shirt. He tucked it in, still thinking only of the empty silence between them now. It was strange and nerving to Blaine. Kurt was…_cold?_ He had the perfect opportunity to make Blaine uncomfortable while Kurt stood there naked, but said nothing. He could have done a lot more to Blaine than a kiss on the cheek and Blaine would have let him, but Kurt stopped. It only stumped Blaine more the longer he thought about it.

…..

For reasons unknown to Blaine, Kurt was in his own little world at the moment in his head. He was chastising himself for the millionth time that day for how he was acting. _Shouldn't have done it,_ he thought. _I should not have kissed him. Oh well. It was just a kiss on the cheek, right? He'll get over it, especially if I ignore it._ Part of him had hoped that Blaine had looked at him as he stood naked, but he pushed that feeling away as soon as he realized he had it. He looked at Blaine from his side eye and watched the way his skin stretched over his muscles when he twisted and moved about. _Fuck, he's sexy. I can't do this. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. I can't let myself get caught up with him._ His heart, and other parts of his body, ached to touch Blaine. Anywhere, everywhere; he just wanted to touch him. _He'll get over it, right? There will be other guys. Ones that aren't me and can give him what I can't._

Blaine was fully clothed now and gathering his things to leave. They hadn't said anything to each other. He wondered what Blaine was thinking, but selfishly, his thoughts of himself where most dominant. _Just one. I can give myself one and be done with this. That way I won't be wishing I tried. Just one._

Kurt was half clothed now and Blaine was just walking past him, not looking or speaking. "Hey." Kurt's hand was already reaching for Blaine's arm, unable to stop himself now.

Blaine's head jerked to look at Kurt. He wasn't prepared for what was about to happen, nor did he see it coming.

Kurt pulled Blaine to him and pressed their lips together.

Honey eyes were widened and quickly closed at the realization of what was happening. Blue-green eyes were shut tight, almost painfully. It was not what a first kiss was thought to be by Blaine. It wasn't nearly as tender as the kiss in the showers. He imagined it to be something close to that. But, at the same time, it wasn't unwelcome or bad. It was full of tension and hammer banging heart beats; suppressed moans and grasping hands.

Kurt tilted his head and opened his mouth. Blaine followed instantly as if he'd always known what he was doing. When a tongue slipped into his mouth, he let out the tiniest of moans. The sound alone sent Kurt into a frenzy and he swung Blaine around, slamming him against the red lockers. His tongue continued to invade Blaine's mouth and rut against the boy's tongue.

Blaine moaned again and clenched his hands against the taller boy's back, trying not to grasp too tight in fear he'd hurt him and the moment would end. If there was one thing he didn't want, it was the moment to end.

Kurt pressed himself even closer, feeling himself lose control of the situation, wanting to thrust against Blaine and feel him get hard. He wanted it, needed it. He knew he wouldn't be satisfied until he had Blaine hard and a throbbing mess, begging for more. A moan escaped his throat and he came back to his senses. _No more,_ he thought. _This shouldn't be happening._ He released Blaine instantly, practically ripping Blaine's hands off his back, and turned away from him, going back to his locker and about his own business as if nothing happened.

Blaine, shocked and out of breath, was more confused than ever. _What just happened?_ When he gathered his thoughts and caught his breath, he turned to Kurt. He wanted to say something. He wanted to ask why Kurt did that and, more importantly, why he stopped, but then he saw the stern expression of a boy who clearly didn't want to be bothered. Frankly, it scared him a little. So, he grabbed the bag that he had dropped when Kurt kissed him and rushed out of the locker room.

* * *

**So, Kurt isn't what everyone thought he was, is he? :D**

**Don't read this A/N if you don't want to be spoiled :)**

I know a lot happened in this chapter, so: Here's some things to think about (also a hint and clues about future chapters)

1) Kurt's emotions change on a dime. (FYI it's not something mental like depression or being bi-polar. It is an important part of Kurt and is part of his storyline in this fic. All will be unfolded at the story continues.)

2) Blaine's comfort level with Kurt is growing, but he still retains a chunk of the bashful boy inside.

3) Eli is now in the picture

4) You know that attachment you get from someone being your first? Blaine may have been happy with his time away from Kurt because it gave him time time to gather this thoughts about what was happening in chapters 1 and 2, but Blaine isn't going to be happy with having space from Kurt for very long. Kurt's actions have Blaine stumped and he wanted to know why.

**Please review!**

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Kurt walked into Glee practice, late as Blaine had, but by only a handful of minutes and not enough to miss anything important. He kept his eyes to himself and only looked at Blaine when everyone else did because it seemed a normal action to do, like when he was talking. At the end of practice, he left with the cheerleaders as usual and didn't say a word to Blaine, nor did he give him a fleeting glance. Something was off and Blaine didn't understand. No one else knew Kurt's secret the way Blaine did, the way the cheerleaders blushed when he talked to them proved it, but Kurt always reserved a moment in passing to smile wickedly or say something that would send Blaine's innards into frenzy. He hadn't done that today.

It bothered him enough to the point that he couldn't concentrate at karate class and he continuously got dropped to the ground and accidentally moved in the wrong way when sparing with another boy, causing him to get kicked in the face. It left him with a split lip and he knew it would be a bruise by morning. Blaine wanted to call him, but he didn't have his number and he couldn't face book him because other people in school would see that they were friends on Kurt's timeline. He'd just have to wait until their coffee date late that evening… but he never showed. It was seven o'clock, like Kurt wanted, and Blaine sat alone. He waited for a half hour before giving up and leaving, partly because his lip was bleeding again from where wouldn't stop chewing on it in anxiousness.

The next day was exactly the same. They didn't exchange glances in the hallways or at lunch from across the cafeteria, and Kurt didn't meet him in the hallway, at his locker, as he did the day before. The most awkward moment was in the locker room when Kurt ignored his existence completely. _Did I do something?_ Blaine thought for the countless time. He'd gone through the events of Monday over and over again and by Thursday, he decided that he hadn't done anything wrong and became bitter. If Kurt wanted to ignore Blaine, Blaine would ignore Kurt.

His bitterness turned to anger by Friday and he was distracted by his thoughts. It was bad enough that he wasn't paying attention in the hallway during lunch and Blaine accidentally walked around the corner and ran into possibly the biggest jock, Shane, Mercedes' ex-boyfriend. He harbored a particular distaste for anyone in glee because it was a glee member, Sam, which she cheated on him with.

"Sorry!" Blaine said, quickly realizing what he did.

"Watch it, Homo!"

"Sorry. I wasn't pay attention."

Hands quickly shoved him against the lockers and his bulbous head got in his face, slinging insults at him. Blaine blanked out and trained his eyes on floor. It was what he used to do so that he didn't have to really hear what was being yelled at him. That was before Kurt demanded the jocks leave him alone. Clearly, it didn't stick for long since they weren't talking anymore.

"Hey! Shane! Chill out. What's going on?"

Blaine looked up and, to his astonishment; Kurt had his hands on Shane and guiding him to back away from Blaine.

"The homo ran into me."

"Dude, you're a bulldozer, I'm sure it was an accident if he didn't see you."

Shane, who used to be a lot nicer and saner, had nothing to come back with. He knew he was acting ridiculously. "Just watch where you're going, Queer."

"S-Sorry."

Shane stomped off. "You shouldn't do that," Kurt said, turning his attention to Blaine.

"What?"

"Apologize to him. He called you a queer. Don't ever apologize to someone who demeans you." A second or two went by of silence and Kurt turned to walk away.

"So you're talking to me now?" Blaine inquired, gathering his strength.

"What are you talking about?" Kurt rolled his eyes.

"You-"

"-Don't say it," Kurt ordered quietly, but sternly, as a handful of people meandered into the hallway.

"Coffee." Blaine figured he could be cryptic and still have the conversation.

"Oops." His voice was cold, like he didn't even care. Sarcasm dripping from the one little word.

"I don't get it." Blaine was angry again, but still just as confused as he was on Monday. "You-" he swallowed hard. He bore his eyes into Kurt's as if to telekinetically remind him of their kiss, both of them.

Kurt just stared back and when Blaine felt he'd had enough of Kurt's behavior, he groaned and left him. He only got a little ways down the hall before hands grabbed him and forcibly pulled him into the bathroom. It startled him, but he allowed himself to feel annoyed and even more anger when he saw it was Kurt.

The tall and skinny boy let go of Blaine as the door closed behind them and he started to look at all the stalls to check if they were alone.

"What is your problem?!" Blaine challenged.

"Look, I am not your boyfriend. I have no obligations to you. So, say whatever shit you need to say to me and get it over with because you're only going to get one chance."

"You're a fucking drama queen!"

"Is that all?"

"No. I don't get you. You," he paused trying think of a cryptic way to say that Kurt kissed him, "do and say things then Monday and-" he paused again. "I don't get it! I didn't do anything wrong. _You_," he lowered his volume drastically, "kissed _me_. _You_ stood _me_ up. _You_ ignored _me_. What's your deal?"

Kurt grinned and rolled his eyes, something that only ignited more fire inside Blaine's chest. "You're such a virgin. I kissed you and now you're hooked on me."

"I'm not hooked on you!" He touched his fingertips to his lips, knowing he spoke too loudly, and Kurt flashed him a look to watch his volume. "I just want to know why."

The grin went away. "It was a mistake. Just let it go."

"Why? Why was it a mistake?"

"Because I said it is. Do you think I'm going to walk down the hall, holding your hand for everyone to see?"

"No. I know you're not out, but doesn't kissing someone mean _anything_ to you?"

"Not really. I've kissed lots of people. What makes you any different?"

"You know what?" Blaine licked his lips. "Forget it. I'm done with this." He hurried out of the bathroom and went to his locker. When he shoved what he needed into his bag, he shut his locker a little too hard, making it sound off a loud bang.

"What's the matter, fairy? Peter Pan not want to cuddle any more?" taunted one of his tormentors, Ian, from the wrestling team.

Blaine was far too furious to be able to let the comment roll off his back. "Shut up! You wrestle with guys in lycra and spandex and slap your team mates on their ass. That's gayer that anything I've ever done."

The hallway went silent. "What did you say to me?" Ian asked as he approached Blaine.

"You heard me." A crowd was forming fast around them.

"Wanna say that again to my face?"

"I already said it you your face. I was looking right at you."

The boy's face crinkled angrily, not liking or being used to someone talking back to him. He got even closer to Blaine, puffing out his chest. Something was about to happen. "Look at you, growing a back bone. Wanna go, homo?"

"With you? You're not exactly my type."

"I'm not asking you out, fucking faggot."

"You sure? Because you won't get out of my face. You're not going to kiss me, are you? I'll puke if you do."

The boy had enough and he shoved Blaine into the lockers with all of his strength. The metal stung as Blaine hit it hard, but he ignored it and didn't miss a beat before charging back. Ian connected with Blaine and flipped Blaine on his back in a wrestling move. "Stay down, shit eater!"

Blaine didn't listen and flourished his body upwards and onto his feet. The move made the wrestler grin, feeling happy that the fight wasn't over despite his previous comment. He surged forward at Blaine and Blaine quickly turned into the black belt he was after school in karate class. He dropped down and sweep kicked his foot out, sending Ian into the air and landing on his back.

The large crowd surrounding them made several different noises, but Blaine was sure that some of them were in shock that Blaine was actually fighting back and knew what he was doing. Others were encouraging the jock to get back up. Some more were cheering for Blaine. The aggression felt good for once.

Azimio lifted Ian off the floor and shoved him in Blaine's direction. "Kick his ass."

When the jock came after Blaine once again, Blaine kicked out, stopping the boy in his tracks, connecting with his chest, but he didn't take his foot back quick enough and the boy seized it, leaving Blaine on one foot. He jumped up off his single leg and his foot connected with the boy's shoulder. Both of them fell to the floor this time.

They scrambled to get up and the jock got Blaine into a headlock. Cheers erupted from the jock's friends and Blaine clenched his fist, pounding it into the other boy's ribs. He didn't let go at first, but loosened his grip while moaning from the punch and Blaine punched him again. This time, the boy let go and Blaine twisted out of the lock and took the boy's arms with him. With the boy's arms behind his back, Blaine pushed forward and pinned him against the lockers.

"How does it feel to be bested by a queer?"

"Fuck you!" Ian yelled with his face pressed to the cold metal.

"Unless you want me to do more damage, I suggest you and your friends leave me alone. I could do a lot worse. Trust me."

"Get the fuck off me!"

"What's going on here?" A teacher's voice yelled out from the doorway of a classroom. The crowd instantly dissipated and Blaine let the jock go and made a disappearing act of his own. He saw Kurt standing on the outskirts of the crowd, leaning up against the bathroom door. He eyed him for a second only, not trusting himself at the moment, and rushed off to Art class.

...

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Kurt whispered when he joined Blaine at the sink to wash off his paint tray in art class.

Blaine flinched, surprised that Kurt was standing next to him. "Didn't you see? I won."

"That's not what I asked."

The shorter boy groaned, trying to hurry the process of rinsing his brushes off. "What do you care?"

"Stop it. I'm sorry. I'm an asshole, I know."

"Go on," Blaine said sarcastically.

"And you probably wouldn't have gotten into the fight if I hadn't pissed you off. So I'm sorry."

"Uh-huh." He didn't believe Kurt at all. Sure, Kurt was acting submissive and guilty, but with his recent actions, who knows if he actually meant it. Blaine wished things went differently this week. Maybe if he hadn't let Kurt kiss him, they would still be friends, if that was even what they were. What made it worse was that he still really wanted to know why Kurt rejected him so harshly after kissing him the way he had.

Kurt laid a hand on Blaine's forearm, freezing Blaine's actions. "I mean it."

Blaine thought he saw a plea in Kurt's eyes. It really seemed as though this was bothering him. "I don't believe you."

He took his hand back, glancing around him for a second to see if anyone caught the action. "What do you want me to do? I said I was sorry."

"So what? You have no obligation to me, remember?"

The quote stung. "You have every right to be mad at me."

"Thanks for the permission."

_Don't do it. Don't do it. You'll only end up hurting him again_, Kurt chanted in his head. "Coffee? Let me make it up to you."

"What?" Blaine furrowed his eyebrows. Kurt seemed to have the emotional loops of a rollercoaster and it was annoying him right now.

"Tonight. Coffee? Please? My treat. I promise I'll show up this time." _Shit, Kurt, you're an idiot._

The brushes were still wet, but Blaine was absently flicking the bristles with his thumb. His eyes looked at Kurt, moving from one blue-green, beautiful eye to the other, searching for certainty. He did want to go, but part of him was reminding him of the events from the week. In the end, he gave in. "I have boxing tonight."

"What time does it end?" Kurt jumped at his chance eager to want to make things right between them.

"Eight."

"Can we maybe meet after?"

"I have a fencing match tomorrow morning."

"Okay, I won't keep you out late then. Please?" He waited, returning the gaze of the honey eyes. "Blaine, please?"

Blaine took one take handful of seconds to crook his jaw and think about the possible reprocussions. He took into account that this whole week he wanted an explanation and time to talk to Kurt. Now that he was being given his chance, he was actually thinking about not taking. In the end, looking at Kurt's pleading eyes, he knew he couldn't say no. "Fine. There's a sub shop next to the gym I box at. I eat dinner there after practice."

"Great! I'll meet you at 8:15 then?"

"Why not." Blaine didn't sound too enthused, but that was mostly because he was expecting to be stood up and didn't want to get his hopes up.

In the locker room, before and after gym, Kurt tried to make small talk with Blaine, but Blaine wasn't too responsive. He wasn't quick to forgive his male counterpart because he had spent the entire week feeling like shit. In his opinion, Kurt could shoulder some of the awfulness for a few hours. If he truly wanted Blaine's forgiveness, he would have to earn it. At least, that's what Blaine was trying to stick to.

Kurt was gentle in his tone and made no attempt at flirting because he knew it would only make Blaine run away. He wasn't sure why he was trying so hard because with Blaine mad at him, Kurt was getting what he wanted, space from Blaine Anderson. He knew he was acting like a drama queen and resembled someone with emotions that flipped on a dime. Maybe some part of that was true, but if he pushed Blaine away, then it would be for the best. So why was he trying so hard to make up for his actions? _I should have never kissed him_, he thought. He had been thinking only of himself at the time, but was now living with the repercussions of an act he felt was wrong.

* * *

**Are you wondering why Kurt thinks kissing Blaine was wrong? Based on messages and comments, no one has guesssed it yet :) hehehehe *insert evil laugh here* I loveyou all, but having a secret that only my beta knows is a pretty great feeling :) No worries, all will be revealed as the story unfolds. :)**

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Later that evening, Kurt had made dinner for him and his father, but halfway through, his father called and apologized, saying that he wouldn't be home until tomorrow and his phone was dead and couldn't call earlier. When he asked why, Burt, his dad, said that weather was keeping his plane on the ground for the night. Kurt was mad, so the baked risotto he was cooking was put right in the fridge when it was finished because he didn't want to eat it alone. He pouted because he really needed one of Burt's precious father/son talks. He wanted to talk about Blaine and he felt he had no one else to talk to. It was hard being closeted to everyone, but your father, and Kurt felt lonely most of the time since Congressman Burt Hummel spent the week in Washington, D.C. They had a wonderful relationship, but politics was getting in the way of Kurt's happiness. He had friends, plenty of them, but his dad was his best friend and his rock.

By 7:00, he was growing bored of sitting around the house on a Friday evening, something he hadn't done in a really long time. So, he decided to leave early to go across town and sneak into the gym in hopes that he'd catch Blaine in the boxing ring. To his delight, he watched Blaine wail on a speed bag like he'd been doing it for years. He was in a pair of bike shorts with baggier shorts on top of them and a gray tank top. A sheen of sweat covered his body and muscles were bulging out of his arms.

After a long day, and perspiring probably several times because of all his activities, Blaine's perfectly gelled hair was becoming loose and his dark curls were giving way. Some plastered to his forehead.

"Anderson!" Someone, probably a coach, called out. Reflexively, Blaine stepped back and let the bag swing on its own, careful not to be in its range of motion. "You're up!" Blaine jogged over to the man and let him wrap his hands for him while he spoke to him about something Kurt couldn't hear. Blaine just nodded a lot. The man pulled a helmet over Blaine's head and slipped a mouth guard into his mouth. Another teen, one bigger than Blaine, about the size of many of the jocks at McKinley, joined him in the ring. They went back and forth with punches and blocks.

Kurt found it difficult to watch at times because he didn't want to see the short brunette get hurt. He only cringed more when he saw Blaine mess up and take a shot to the kidneys. The blow made him wince and drop to the floor instantly. Back and forth, back and forth, the two teens went with punches, jabs, and blocks, with Blaine looking like he was taking the brunt of more than half of them. By the time he exited the ring at eight o'clock, Blaine definitely looked sore. That's when Kurt slipped out of the gym and waited outside the sub shop, where he told Blaine he would be.

Blaine walked out with his gym bag, with wet hair, wearing a different outfit than he had a school, not nearly as preppy as he looks in school. He wore jeans, a t-shirt with a picture of a Rubik's cube on it, and a zip up hoodie. He honestly looked surprised to see Kurt. "You came," he said, sounding flat, yet still a little pleased.

"I said I would."

"I feel like I shouldn't point out that you don't exactly have a good track record."

"Well, since we only made plans one other time, I guess I'm one for two on the showing up scale. That's me being where I said I would exactly half the time. So, that's something." Kurt was trying to be light and perhaps a little funny.

It worked. Blaine's expression softened and he let himself smile a little. "Better than nothing, I supposed." They headed into the shop.

"Right. Better than nothing," Kurt repeated. "So! Dinner?"

"Uh, yeah." Blaine turned to look at the menu board, as if he didn't already know what they served because he came here so often.

"Hey, wait." The skinny teen had a thought. "You know, my dad was supposed to be home for dinner and I cooked this meal, but he didn't show because of bad weather or something."

"And?"

Kurt thought for two more seconds, weighing his thoughts out on how stupid they may be. "Well, do you want to come over and maybe have dinner at my house? It might be better than what they serve here."

Blaine flitted his eyelids, reading between the lines of what Kurt just offered. _Dinner. Alone. No parents. Empty house…_ _Where is he going with this?_ He sighed and decided he was too tired and sore to fight the topic. "Um. Okay. I guess so."

Kurt smiled. "Great. I'm an awesome cook, if that helps."

Food. Good. At least he's talking about eating and not something sexual.

"I'll follow you? My car is in the lot."

"I know. I parked next to you."

Blaine looked at him curiously. "You need a pass to park there. It's private property."

Kurt smiled wider. "Being the congressman's son has its perks."

Blaine turned his face away and smiled again, trying not to let Kurt see the full effect. He didn't earn that much yet. "Lead the way, your highness," he said in a grand gesture to poke fun at the boy in front of him.

Dinner at the Hummel's was much more delicious than an everyday sandwich, Blaine decided. "Was it weird that I had two servings and drank three glasses of water? You barely ate one serving."

Kurt smiled and drank the last bit of water in his own glass. "No. Aren't you supposed to be a growing boy or something? I take it as a compliment. If you didn't like it then you wouldn't have eaten so much, right?" Blaine nodded with a smile. He finally let Kurt off the hook for the day's happening because he was actually having a good time, despite trying not too. "Besides, I'd imagine I'd be famished after getting my ass kicked in a boxing ring like you did."

A look of shock spread over Blaine's face. "You saw that?"

Kurt smiled, proud of himself. "Yeah. I was bored and came early. I hid in the back and watched. You're really good, even though you spent most of the fight on the floor." He chuckled.

Blaine itched the back of his head. "Yeah," he dragged the word out, feeling a little embarrassed. "The guy I was fighting, Justin, has been boxing since he was about six or eight. Some age like that."

Kurt's eyebrows squished together. "Then why were _you_ fighting him? It doesn't seem fair."

"Exactly. Coach found out about me fighting in school today and as a punishment for fighting with someone who didn't stand a chance against me, he did the same to me." He shifted in his chair, the hardness of the wood wasn't helping him recoup. He winced for a second.

"Are you okay?" The high pitched boy actually looked concerned.

"I'll be fine. Justin got a couple really good shots in and I'm a little sore, I guess."

"Why didn't you say something? Should you put ice or a heat pack on, or…?"

"Usually I put Icy Hot on for a bit then I wrap ice packs on whatever hurts and before I go to bed, I sleep with a heating pad. It's usually better by morning."

"That's intense."

"It works. Besides, it's worth it. I wouldn't have been able to defend myself against your friends at school and I wouldn't be in such good shape without all the things I do."

Kurt twisted his mouth. "They're not my friends, you know." He paused to gage Blaine's reaction. "Well, some of them are, but not even half are people I like. Karofsky's not bad and Shane, if he can get past the glee club thing, is a pretty good guy. Ian is the worst. He's got little man syndrome to the T."

Blaine laughed. "Tell me about it. He over compensates for his small stature." Blaine adjusted himself in his chair again. This was nice. Talking like normal people was nice. "Can I ask you something, without you freaking out on me again?"

Kurt's lips curled inward and he looked innocently at Blaine, while secretly hoping it wasn't about the kiss. "Sure."

"What is this?" He gesture between them. "Are we on a date?"

NO!

Kurt thought instantly, but knew better than to yell that out. "Well, I'd like to think that this is me saying I'm sorry and it's us becoming friends."

"Friends," Blaine tried the word out. He let it roll around in his head. "I think I can get behind that." They smiled at each other.

Kurt really liked it when Blaine smiled. His eyes lit up whenever he did and it made Blaine even more attractive than he already was. His honey eyes often seemed brighter and Kurt thought that there were few things prettier than shining gold. He watched Blaine wince one more time. The discomfort was obvious by now. "Why don't you go sit on the couch, I think we have some Icy Hot in our medicine cabinet."

"It's okay. I can handle it until I go home."

"Nonsense. Take your shirt off and sit on the couch. That's an order."

Blaine smirked. "Yes, Nurse Hummel."

He searched through the mountains of over the counter products that they had in the medicine cabinet and in a container under the sink. He finally found what he was looking for and when he went into the living room with his tube of muscle rub, he was greeted with the site of a half naked Blaine, rubbing his own shoulder. _I'm going to regret this_; he thought and bit his lip as he walked over. "Does it hurt much?"

"Not too much, but enough for it to be annoying, you know?"

I know the feeling. You make me feel the same way.

"Okay, the floor might make this easier."

Blaine took the implication as a direction and he moved from the couch to the rug and clutched his knees to his chest, giving Kurt a full view of his back and shoulders. When his mother rubbed his back with anything, he was put in this pose because it gave the easiest spread of skin.

Kurt on the other hand, only saw this as Blaine being flexible and realized he was staring at the way the chandelier lighting bounced off his skin and made him look even more gorgeous than the lighting in the locker room. He blinked back thoughts, knowing he should never have done this and he should know better, but of course he was going to go against his own morality. Burt told him not to throw himself around and respect himself, but Kurt thought _to hell with that_ a long time ago. He didn't think it was in anyone's best interest for him to pursue Blaine in any sense because he knew he'd ruin him. His natural instinct was to want to ruin him. He did. He truly wanted to take advantage of him and ruin him for anyone else. That way, he'd always belong to him in a sense. But the better half of him didn't want that at all. The moral side wanted to leave Blaine alone and let him be happy because he deserved to always be as innocent and naïve as he is now. Unfortunately, that was the side that was always being pushed aside because wrongness is viable and goodness, in his experience, is more often than not, unreliable. Also, it never suited Kurt to be Robin Hood. To him, only bad things came from him doing well. His life was ruinous like that. So, he only looked out for himself and his father. His father was always able to be counted upon and he loved him. Nothing bad ever came from loving his father.

Coming back to reality, he knelt behind Blaine. "Okay. I'll just-" He opened the tube and squeezed out a sizable amount of the lotion. Instantly, his nostrils were invaded with the scent of menthol. _Gross._ "This smells like Vapor Rub."

Blaine chuckled. "I think they have similar ingredients. I don't mind it. I like the scent."

"You do?"

"Yeah. It's silly, but it reminds me of being sick as a kid. I never minded be sick because it meant I didn't have to go to school. I could cuddle on the couch with my blankets and watch cartoons and sleep all day. I miss that."

Kurt cleared his throat. "Yeah, I like the way it smells too," he lied. _Why the hell did I say that?_ _It's not even close to being true._ "Where do I start?" He rubbed his hands together and felt a cold sensation on his skin.

"Um. Shoulders please. Then maybe work your way down? You really don't have to do this, you know."

"Please, I already have this shit on my hands." They both laughed together and Kurt put his hands on Blaine's skin, feeling it for the first time. He was smooth and warm. Kurt slowly massaged the lotion into Blaine's skin, working meticulously on the tight, sore muscles. He couldn't remember the last time he actually spent enough time with a guy to give him a massage. In his experience, a massage was a slow way to initiate foreplay. However, recently, foreplay was something overlooked too. He missed foreplay. Hell, he missed this. Maybe he needed to learn to slow down.

That was when Blaine moaned. "That feels really good."

Kurt's eyes flicked off to the side, trying to be cool and calm and not show any signs that Blaine's sound of pleasure wasn't turning him on. _That was the sexiest sound I'd ever heard._ Blaine wasn't helping Kurt's inner struggle at all. He tried to convince himself that this time, _this time,_ his moral side would win out and he and Blaine could just be friends. He could have this, right? This one time, Kurt could have one friend that he didn't hook up with. Maybe he could control himself and not screw this up.

He worked his hands lower to Blaine's lower back where light bruises had formed. "Um," he began, trying to sound comfortable, "This might hurt a bit more. You're bruising."

"Yeah. Maybe we can skip that section. My sides, where my ribs are could use some too. I can do that if you want." His voice was soothing and low. Anything Kurt had done had a calming effect and it felt really nice to just relax for once. Usually he did this himself and it was difficult. When his mother did it, it was quick and, frankly, a little painful. When Kurt did it, it seemed somewhat intimate and gentle. He moved his hands like he cared deeply.

"I've already got this stuff on my hands. I can do it." He squeezed more Icy Hot onto his hands. "How do you want to do this?"

"I can stand or lye down."

"Why don't you lye down. It might seem less awkward and I can probably work it in better than standing at an angle."

Blaine agreed and laid down flat with his arms parted a small ways from his sides. Kurt looked down at Blaine and thought for a second. _How am I supposed to put this on comfortably?_ Kneeling on either side of him was awkward and he'd end up on all fours over him or looking like he was going to flip him like a pancake with his hand motions. Then it hit him. He'd have to be _on_ him to get the right angle. He hadn't thought of this before saying he'd rub Blaine's sides. _Maybe standing up would have been the better choice._

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked. He caught Kurt staring at his bare skin and arched up and back onto his elbows.

"Nothing. Just trying to figure out how to- Um." All he could smell was the menthol from the rub and he didn't want to stop touching Blaine's soft and dreamy skin. His attempts at trying to be moral were failing. He'd never seen anything sexier. _Fuck. He's so- I want him so bad._ His stomach tightened uncomfortably knowing his will power was faltering and he was becoming aroused. He didn't want to hold him and cuddle with him. He wanted to fuck Blaine Anderson senseless and then toss him out with nothing more than a 'This was fun. Goodnight.' _No. No. I don't want to make that mistake. I can't._

"Just come here," Blaine said, leaning on one arm and wagging his fingers to motion Kurt.

The corners of Kurt's lips tugged up the smallest of increments. "Oh for Christ's sake," he laughed, pretending to be playful. He scooted over and lifted a leg over Blaine's lap. He sat back, but pitched forward a bit, putting his hands delicately on Blaine's side ribcage. Straddling Blaine Anderson, the gorgeous, kind hearted person, was not what Kurt should have been doing with his Friday night. He should be at Scandals right now getting hit on and felt up by strange, good looking men. Or better yet, since his father was gone, he should drive into the city and go to one of those gay bars.

But no. This was where his actions had lead him: being intensely close and on top of Blaine Anderson, who had his shirt off and getting massaged from Kurt. _Yeah, this is what you should be doing right now,_ he thought sarcastically in his head. _You're an idiot Kurt Hummel. You're only going to hurt him. You better not screw this up. Fuck, he's so gorgeous. _He dropped his eyes down, for what he thought was a brief second, and looked at Blaine's lips. They were so full and lush. Kissing him had been exhilarating and like a bomb going off inside him because of released tension. No doubt kissing him again would be the same. He could only imagine what having sex with Blaine would feel like. Now, more than ever, he wouldn't mind finding out. _Nope. Stop it. Stop thinking about him naked… and… shit you can't have sex with him!_ Kurt had resorted to screaming at himself in his own thoughts now.

Kurt gulped and it caught Blaine's attention. He opened his eyes and saw Kurt looking longingly at his mouth. He knew what happened the last time that happened. The last time Kurt looked at his lips they kissed and then Blaine became a pariah to him. It was awful, but even a weeks worth of Kurt's behavior wasn't enough to make him not want to lean forward and kiss Kurt again. He would know how to handle it this time, right? Kurt didn't want a boyfriend. That was simple enough to understand. All he had to do was lean forward, kiss Kurt, and then not make it weird. It wasn't impossible.

Then he thought about how good it would feel to call Kurt his boyfriend and how "casual" wasn't something he thought he could do and he knew that he couldn't kiss Kurt and remain "just friends." No. He wanted more. He wanted a relationship. But in this moment, looking at Kurt's downcast eyes, with this incredibly handsome young man in his lap, and his hands all over him, his teenage hormones would win out. It took exactly one second for him to forget about the consequences and pushed his face forward.

Kurt's lips were soft and plump like small pillows that were meant for Blaine's lips alone. They both exhaled in unison as if their lips touching were a long awaited desire they had both been harboring that came to fruition. Blaine parted his lips and leaned to his left, putting all his weight on that arm so he could raise his right hand to cup Kurt's face.

One touch. That's all it took for Kurt to realize what was happening. He pulled his body away and turned his head. "I have to wash my hands," he said, trying to sound uncaring, but guilt and nerves were able to be picked up in the tone. He got up off of Blaine and walked out of the room, heading to the bathroom.

In the distance, Blaine could hear water running, but he remained on the floor, wondering what went wrong and why Kurt stopped it. He was staring at Blaine's lips just as Blaine stared at his. Didn't he want to kiss Blaine? As the minutes ticked away, Blaine stood up and grabbed his t-shirt, thinking that perhaps he misread Kurt. He knew Kurt wouldn't talk to him about it, so asking was useless. He liked Kurt. For reasons he didn't know why, he harbored a soft spot for him. Maybe it was because Kurt was the first person to pay any attention to him. Maybe it was because Kurt was his first kiss, but Blaine knew he liked Kurt before they kissed. He knew he was attracted to him the moment he first saw him across the cafeteria. The more he thought about it, Blaine didn't know when it was that the switch happened. But for whatever reason, he had feelings for him now and wanted to see where they went.

The only problem was Kurt. Kurt seemed to like Blaine too, but he was so up and down with his emotions and actions that it made it hard for Blaine to understand anything. What made it worse was that Kurt didn't want to talk about any of it either.

He heard the clanging of plates and he discarded his shirt again, not putting it back on to begin with. He wanted to try to get Kurt to talk and based on the way Kurt looked at him when he was shirtless, Blaine thought he'd get further along with less clothing than more. Seduction… this was a new concept for Blaine, but he knew he had to start somewhere. _I can do this,_ he thought and headed for the kitchen where Kurt was now cleaning up the plates from dinner.

He made a stop in the dining room and picked up some stray items that didn't make it into the kitchen with Kurt. He brought them over to the sink where Kurt was rinsing plates off and dumping whatever was left uneaten on the plates down the disposal. Kurt didn't look up or make any indication that he knew Blaine joined him, even though Blaine put things in Kurt's line of vision. Kurt had spaced out.

Blaine wasn't sure what to do. Start talking? He didn't know. In the end, he didn't know what to say so he decided to go on a different course of action. He moved behind Kurt and slipped his hands around Kurt's waist.

"What are you doing?" Kurt asked rhetorically.

"I'm not really sure. I'm just sort of doing whatever I think feels natural."

Kurt didn't remove Blaine's arms but he did go back to rinsing off dishes. "You know, usually a guy gives you a green light before you advance on him."

"Wasn't that what you staring at my mouth was? A green light?"

"And me walking away was a red light."

"You haven't told me to let go of you yet. That's a yellow isn't it?" Blaine brought one hand gently to Kurt's chest, feeling the heart beating beneath. It was beating hard and fast. It was then that Blaine knew Kurt was putting up a front. Either he was lying to Blaine about something or he was nervous, maybe even both.

"Why did you kiss me? Didn't you learn anything from this week?"

"You don't want a boyfriend, I get it. But you can just say that instead of being a douche and then asking me on a date, giving me a massage, and kissing me back."

Kurt turned the water off and dried his hands on the towel on the counter. He unraveled Blaine's arms and turned to face him. "This isn't a date, I gave you a massage because I felt bad, and I didn't kiss you back."

"_Right_. And you didn't sneak into a private gym just to hide and watch me either."

Silence. Blaine had gotten Kurt there. "Look, I told you. I want to be friends. Nothing more."

"You never said 'nothing more.' Actually what you said the first day we met was that you can't molest someone who wanted the attention. Well, I'm giving you attention and you're giving me mixed signals. You spent over a week hitting on me, then you kiss me, twice- once when we were naked in the showers, and suddenly everything changes. I didn't do anything wrong, so that means it isn't me, it's you. So, what's the big deal?"

"There's no deal. I just don't want you clinging to me."

"Did I ask you to be my boyfriend?"

"No."

"Then stop acting like I did."

"How many gays do you know? Other than me."

"What does that matter?"

"It matters that I'd be willing to bet that you don't know any other gays and you're only acting like a little school girl with a crush because I'm the only one around."

Blaine shook his head in disbelief. "You are unbelievable and you couldn't be more wrong. First off, I have another gay friend: Eli. And there's nothing going on between us. I may be acting like I have a crush on you, but that's only because you gave me a reason to. But don't worry. I won't do anything again because you've made it perfectly clear now that you want nothing to do with me." He had thrown his hands up in surrender, and then abruptly stomped off to the living room to retrieve his shirt.

As Blaine left the room, Kurt yelled after him. "I didn't say that. I said I wanted to be friends. Stop being a drama queen!" What was it about Blaine that made him so angry so quickly? He pressed his lips together hard and crossed his arms. His body was practically vibrating out of his skin with annoyance. He couldn't let this go. Instead of standing there, waiting to hear the sound of the front door close because Blaine had left, Kurt pounded his feet on the floor, his voice raised loud, following Blaine into the living room. "You never even said that you liked me!" he shouted "What am I supposed to think? That you only want me for my body?" He finished his question upon seeing Blaine's back to him, tugging his shirt over his head.

With a calm, yet biting tone, Blaine shot back. "Well, from the way you talk, it sounds like you don't have a problem with that."

Kurt's face twisted. That hurt. "Why did I even invite you here?" He said aloud to himself.

"You call _me _a drama queen? You can't make up your mind. You say you don't want me clinging to you, I'm acting like I have a crush on you, and that you have no obligation to me because you're not my boyfriend. Then you turn right around and say that I only want you for your body. Which one is it because they both contradict themselves? Either I have feelings for you, or I don't and only want you physically." He wasn't looking at Kurt. He had put his hoodie on as well and was still facing the couch instead of Kurt. "I wish you would stick to one story and tell me what you want."

"What _I _want?!" Kurt went over to Blaine. He knew his argument was flawed and outlandish, but at this point, he was more or less just saying the things that came to his head first because he wasn't really thinking so much as acting. "What do _you _want? Do you even know that?" His hands physically turned Blaine around, facing him now.

"Are you taking crazy pills? Seriously? What have I been doing this entire time? I didn't think I had to _tell _you I liked you. I figured it was implied by letting you do and say those things to me all the time. Not to mention I drew you that picture, pretty much telling you how I felt. How can you even stand there and question my intentions? I've been nothing but-"

Kurt's lips were on Blaine's, stalling his infuriated rant. The kiss felt more like the kiss in the locker room, fierce and full of tension. It seemed to both boys that this was how things went for them: a tender moment, a fight, then an angry, yet lust filled make up. After it happening twice, it was becoming a pattern.

Blaine felt it was Kurt's fault, but Kurt felt it was all Blaine's because he frustrated him so much on several different levels.

One of Kurt's hands was fisted tightly into Blaine's t-shirt from having pulled him closer. The other was holding the back of Blaine's neck, keeping him firmly in place. Tongues darted hungrily at one another, almost fighting as if in a jousting match. It was an unusual act for Blaine. He'd only kissed someone, Kurt, one other time, twice if you count the disaster that happened ten minutes ago, and it was similar to this one: hungry and mad. He had only thought of kisses as romantic up until now, but kissing Kurt brought out a side in him that he wasn't used to.

Though his thoughts were mostly blank, Blaine had fleeting instants of feeling something close to hating Kurt. Well, he wasn't close to hating _Kurt_ so much as hating how Kurt made him feel and what he allowed Kurt to do to him emotionally. He often felt duped into something, like this evening and being there now with Kurt. He was mad at him; so, why did he forgive him so easily and agree to dinner? Look where it lead: another fight and another kiss that would no doubt end in yet another fight that would last a week. Would that be their continuing saga? Blaine hoped it wouldn't be because that would mean he would be forever stuck in this feeling of being powerless to Kurt Hummel. It only angered him more and he gripped his hold around Kurt's waist tighter.

Unlike Blaine, Kurt was no stranger to this kind of forceful, lustful action. What he was a stranger to was the feeling in the pit of his stomach that he shouldn't be doing this. But he couldn't help it. He lost control once again. He was furious with Blaine and anyone could take their pick of why and they would be right. But on the other hand, he wanted him. He physically wanted him. The level of irate energy coursing through his veins only ended up running a surge through his groin and it turned him on. Blaine's insults and annoying childish rants made him horny and with the amount of attraction he already had for him, Kurt couldn't help himself. He bit down on Blaine's lower lip and pulled, tugging and sucking at the skin.

Blaine responded with crashing his mouth back to Kurt's and sucking on Kurt's tongue carefully dragging his teeth against it when it retracted. He moaned. His boxers were growing tighter and he was sure that Kurt would have been able to feel why. If nothing else, he knew Kurt was in the same position. With Kurt's tight pants, it wasn't hard to feel his arousal growing.

The lips Blaine wanted so desperately left his own and started to nip at his neck. Uncareful and pleasurably painful bites were marking his skin. He moaned louder still.

"You want me," Kurt stated, surging down and sucking a spot purple on Blaine's collar.

"Yes!" The shorter boy could only manage a loud groan because he couldn't control anything right now.

"Say it," he demanded. "Tell me."

"I want you. I want you so bad."

Kurt dropped his hands from Blaine's shirt and neck to his belt. He was able to hear every clinking sound of the metal latch when he pulled it apart, the zipper being dragged down, and the fabric being spread open with force. He brought his lips back to Blaine's as he slipped one hand up Blaine's shirt to feel his chest and abs, something he'd wanted to do since he saw the magnificence that was under his gym shirt on his first day of school.

He dipped his hand into Blaine's boxers and cupped his balls, massaging them, kneading them with his palm and fingers. Then he dragged one single finger from testicle to the tip of Blaine's cock, testing the length. For as short as Blaine's stature was, his dick was achingly stretched longer than eight inches. _9. Maybe 10, _Kurt thought, gasping at the idea. His hand wrapped round and gripped it tight, finding the circumference to be wide as well. He imagined for a second the amount of prep work and stretching needed to be able to accommodate Blaine's grandiose cock. The thought was quickly erased because Kurt was sure that fucking Blaine or impaling himself senseless was out of the question. He wouldn't allow it.

Blaine moaned again and again at the touch of Kurt flicking his wrist and jerking him off. He'd done this to himself many times, but the feeling of someone else doing it, was infinitesimally better. The longer it lasted, the more his skin felt as frail as paper and he could feel every touch of Kurt's hand on his abs and cock fifty times more than normal. He felt drugged somehow and Kurt was the cause.

Kurt was sure that Blaine wouldn't have lasted very long because of his inexperience, but he was surprised when Blaine lasted much longer that he thought. He continued to kiss at Blaine's neck, inhaling the scent of his body wash. When Blaine's breathing became labored and he physically felt Blaine's body tensing more and more, Kurt brought his lips back to the moaning boy. He quickened his pace with his hand, letting his grasp slacken a little because he knew the tightness of his grasp would only hurt Blaine once he came and began to soften.

One, two, three more pumps of his hand and Blaine was moaning uncontrollably into Kurt's mouth. He'd never came that hard before. It was overwhelming and invigorating at the same time.

Blaine pulled back and Kurt saw his kissed bruised lips. Their swollen look was a side effect of one other act he wouldn't mind doing with Blaine right now. He reached over and grabbed a tissue off the side table near them and wiped his hand clean of Blaine's come. "Knees, darling," he purred against Blaine's lips, kissing him one more time. Without question, Blaine dropped down and started working on Kurt's pants. "Do you know the basics?"

"I think so."

Kurt grinned and brushed the side of Blaine face. It was a gentle action, like one would do to a pet while saying 'good boy.' As much as Kurt hated it, being this cocky person had it's moments of fun and excitement. Like now. "Just be careful with the teeth." He leaned down, holding Blaine's chin, and kissed him once more before gently guiding his head forward. He exhaled happily at the warm feeling of Blaine's mouth. Being on the receiving end of a blow job was a particular pleasure of his. He felt in control with one hand behind Blaine's neck and Blaine on his knees servicing him. It was a powerful feeling. It easily overpowered the knowledge that Kurt would probably spend a very long time regretting every bit of tonight. But, for now, he felt power and lust. If he really thought about it, which he wasn't because he was too busy focusing on the gorgeous creature sucking his dick, he'd admit to himself that a large part of his triumphant feeling was because it was Blaine on his knees and not some other guy. He'd wanted Blaine since he first saw him. Blaine was so sexy and innocent. Blaine was the kind of vulnerable that Kurt could eat up without chewing. And, as predicted, Blaine was easy prey and not in the least bit hard to catch. The hardest part was trying to shake him off. Tonight would, no doubt, not make it any easier.

Blaine had scene porn movies before. He was a seventeen year old boy and not much different than any other guy at McKinley. He thought about sex often enough, but just now, he never knew when his chance would come. Blaine was thankful for the movies at this point because he really had no idea what he was doing. He merely mimicked what he saw other men do on the websites videos he masturbated to in the privacy of his own bedroom.

He wasn't entirely sure what he was supposed to do with his tongue, but he figured he was doing the right thing based on Kurt's heavy breathing and soft moans. Every not and then, Blaine thought he heard Kurt say something like 'oh yeah' or 'fuck that feels good,' but he was trying to concentrate so, he wasn't sure.

Blaine used one hand to knead Kurt's balls and the other to pump what he couldn't fit into his mouth. His cheeks hollowed out and he sucked again and again. Once, Kurt stopped him for a second to say, "hey hey. This isn't a race. You can go easy on me."

He did as instructed, but it took a couple seconds to realize that Kurt was telling him that he was too good at felating him and if he didn't slow down, Kurt would come embarrassingly quick. Blaine decided to give Kurt a break and try something different. Since Kurt was completely without pubic hair of any kind, something Blaine thought was strange, but not necessarily a bad thing, Blaine decided to try something else he saw online.

Taking his mouth off of Kurt, but keeping his hand firmly around the base of his dick, Blaine mouthed against Kurt's balls and let them fall into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around, rolling it gently and keeping close attention to his teeth. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Kurt. Very delicately, he started to suck. His hand started to pump Kurt's cock up and down.

Kurt moaned. Blaine had been much better at this than he thought. Especially having someone pay as close attention to his testicles as Blaine did. After a minute, he switched back to sinking his mouth down over Kurt's cock. He was much less enthusiastic this time because Kurt had asked him to slow down previously.

_So perfect_, Kurt groaned in his head. _So fucking hot with your lips on my dick. _"Uhng," he moaned. "Uhng, I'm close." His stomach was tightening and Blaine kept sucking, hollowing out his cheeks and awaiting his prize. "Oh fuck. Fuck. I'm gonna come."

Blaine continued to jerk his hand back and forth, but he took his mouth away and looked up at Kurt, wanting to see his face. Seconds later, Kurt was spilling over the edge and coming all over the collar of Blaine's shirt, but Blaine wasn't completely aware of this. He was too busy focusing on Kurt. His eyes were shut tight, but there was a smile on his face. Like he was happy. When Kurt finally opened his eyes, to see Blaine still kneeling at smiling up at him, Kurt ran his fingers threw Blaine's hair and helped him up. He kissed him softly.

This was the kind of kiss that Blaine was expecting all along, not the lust filled ones he received before. He knew it would be fleeting though because that was Kurt's pattern. Blaine let himself feel this one happy moment because he knew that once they parted, Kurt would be different.

He was right. As soon as they pulled away, he watched as Kurt's expression changed. He wasn't smiling anymore. Kurt was Kurt again and their pleasurable moments had passed.

* * *

**Okay, honesty hour... I originaly wanted them to get into it during the massage, but I wondered what Icy Hot would do to an errection if anything and it turns out that it's really bad! It prolongs the erection and makes it very painful and it BURNS... I checked many websites to confirm this... it's actually a thing on web mb... needless to say I changed that lol.**

**If you're going to be sad about the situation, think of it this way, at least I'm not keeping them apart like I did in TCWT. In that story it took like 30 chapters before they got any action with each other. In this story, they've got their problems, but they're at least getting some action out of their system.**

**Please review!**

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

There was something different in the air. Blaine _felt_ different. Not like he was a new person, but…_different. _It was an indescribable feeling. He tucked himself back into his pants and watched as Kurt did the same, wondering if Kurt felt what he did.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked, looking at him strangely.

Blaine flinched, bringing himself out of his daze. Kurt's tone of voice was more questioning than caring. "Yeah. Fine. Great actually." He was trying to not smile as big as he wanted to. He settled for a friendly expression, but allowed his nerves to show as well. "You?" He realized how stupid and innocent he sounded asking that and looked away, itching the side of his head.

Kurt shrugged. "Fine. I only ask because you've got a weird look on your face."

"What look?" He sounded nervous again. He thought he was acting cool.

"Like you want to cuddle," Kurt said flatly and raising an eyebrow. "You don't want to cuddle, do you?" He swallowed. Cuddling was not something he did. He thought it was an odd, unnecessary action. Not to mention he didn't want to give Blaine the wrong idea.

Blaine sniffed and stiffened, trying to appear manlier. "Pff, no. Why? Do you?"

"Uh-no."

"Yeah, me neither."

_He's lying_, Kurt thought and rolled his eyes. _Fuck, I really screwed it up this time. But he's so cute trying to act like he doesn't care. Shut up! No. He's just another notch on your belt, just like every other guy. Except you see him every day. Damn, what happens now? Do I ignore it and pretend like it didn't happen, or make him hate me? There is always the possibility that he can keep it casual. No. That will never happen. He's too pure._ His inner monologue continued on and on, jumping back and forth between wanting to ruin the moment and not wanting to kick Blaine out of the house only to not call him and then ignore him on Monday. He licked his lips and watched Blaine absently start to fumble with what to do with his hands. His lips were still swollen and bruised. _Beautiful,_ he thought. "So how do you feel after orgasming for the first time?"

"That wasn't my first time," Blaine admitted.

"I meant that this was the first time you orgasmed because of someone else."

"Oh." The feeling of inexperience was prevalent and Blaine knew that no amount of feigned confidence was going to mask that.

"So, how was it?"

Blaine smiled a blushed. "Er. Um. Great." He didn't sell it enough. It didn't sound great.

"Just great?" The taller boy cocked an eyebrow again and mimicked the way Blaine said it.

"I mean awesome. It was awesome! So much better than when I-" He blushed again and stopped talking. _Man,_ _I sound like an idiot_. He was nervous.

This made a cocky smile spread across Kurt's face. "Good. I'm glad." He waited a beat. "If it makes you feel better, for someone who'd never done it before, your skills were rather impressive." Kurt was massively underselling Blaine's ability to suck a dick because if he was being honest with himself, while it wasn't the kinkiest, it was the best one he'd had in years. _He was so attentive and careful. It wasn't about being hot while he did it. He made it about wanting to pleasure me. It was nice for a change._

"Really?" Blaine's expression changed to that of a Labrador puppy, excited at any form of praise. It was answered by a nod of the head from Kurt and then awkward silence afterward.

Kurt's eyes took one look at Blaine's shirt and he looked back up at his face. "Take your shirt off."

"What?" Blaine's eyes went wide, anxiety and shock ran through him. _Did he want to go for round two? Already?_

Reading Blaine's expression, he rolled his eyes and spoke slower. "Take. Your. Shirt. Off."

"Why?"

He tried not to chuckled or smile, but his lips twitched anyway and his next comment sounded a little on the cheery side. "Because my jizz is all over it."

"Huh?" He tucked his chin in and saw the drying evidence that he did indeed blow Kurt. "Oh. Yeah. That." He quickly, yet carefully pulled the shirt over his head and held it, not knowing what to do with it. The embarassment made his ears burn.

"Come on. I'll let you borrow one of mine." He moved past Blaine and stopped halfway out of the room when he realized Blaine wasn't with him.

"It's okay. I'll just wear my hoodie home." Kurt flashed him a look with raised eyebrows that dared Blaine to even try to say no to him and Blaine dropped his shoulders in defeat. "Or, um, I could, you know, wear whatever you want me to," he coward nervously.

"Good choice," Kurt replied flatly. He turned and motioned with his head for Blaine to follow.

Kurt's room was huge. It was in the basement and he had the entire floor to himself, including his own bathroom. Everything was in various shades of white, grey, and black. His furniture was impeccable and very mod. It looked like a picture out of a magazine. "I'll take that," he stated, motioning his hand out for Blaine's T-shirt, which was turned over immediately. He tossed it in his own hamper. Blaine was too preoccupied with gawking at everything in Kurt's bedroom. "Are you into fashion at all?" He already knew the answer based on the clothes he'd seen Blaine in before."

"Um. I like watching fashion shows online and Project Runway, but I don't really have a knack for it. I sort of wear whatever." He paused to gage Kurt's reaction. "But I like shoes. I have tons of those," he quickly added.

So, I noticed.

"Ever hear of Vogue's Couture Closet?"

"Yes."

Kurt walked over to two double doors in his room. "Eat your heart out, Vogue." With that he opened both doors and revealed what was obviously a sectioned off part of the basement that was now Kurt's personal walk in closet that was more like a mini store.

"Oh my God!" Blaine really wasn't so into clothes, but even he had to shed a tear at this site. Kurt was all smiles and followed Blaine around with his eyes as Blaine oo-ed and ahh-ed at everything. "Are these real?" he asked when he started to look closely and saw all the designer labels.

"What do you think?"

Then it was like the heavens opened up and a light shown down on one wall that was covered in pairs of shoes. He almost didn't want to touch them in case he'd ruin them. "Crocodile Gucci loafers?" Blaine beamed. He'd wanted a pair of those for years. "What are these?" he asked when he got to a pair of shiny, bejeweled, house slippers.

"I got those in India when my aunt took me last year. They're hand made and one of a kind. They're made for the wearer only. Cost me an entire years worth of saving last year. Could've gone on a shopping spree, but no. I had to have the shoes because it was something I'd never seen before.

"The jewels are real?"

"They better be."

Blaine took an even closer look still. "Wow. Ruby, garnet, Safire. Do you ever wear them?"

"Around the house mostly, but only from time to time. They're not exactly the best house slipper, but they were so pretty and unique that I had to buy them."

"I don't blame you."

Kurt left Blaine at the shoe wall and started pawing through the vast amount of shirts he had hung up here, there, and everywhere. He selected three and brought them over to Blaine. He held each of them up to his chest and settled on a black button down with no sleeves. "Put this on," he commanded while he sauntered away to put the others back.

Blaine's eyes followed the tiny sashay that Kurt's waist made and his lips curled into a small smile. He quickly pinched his lips together and looked down so that Kurt wouldn't catch him. Upon turning his gaze downward, he caught the label on the shirt. "Kurt this is Armani."

"I know."

"You want me to wear this?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes."

"But, I'm not going to be wearing it that long anyway." Kurt looked at him playfully and winked. He added a quick kiss to the air to be extra seductive. "I mean, I'm just going to take it off when I get home." Just like before, Kurt flashed him a demanding look and Blaine sighed before stringing his arms through the holes. "I don't need to dress in designer clothes to-"

"You're not going home. Not yet anyway."

"I'm not?"

"No." Kurt started taking his shirt off and swapped it with a light purple v-neck tee. He grabbed a pair of black skinny jeans off his jean wall and pulled them on after peeling the ones he already had on off. "It's Friday night and your plans were to go home?"

"Well, my plans were to hang out with you, but we've already done that. I guess I hadn't thought about making after plan plans."

"We're going to celebrate."

"Celebrate what?"

"You just committed your first ever sex act. We're going out; what do you want to do?"

"We're celebrating _that_?"

"Do you want to call it something else?" He sashayed back over to Blaine and gazed deeply into his eyes with bedroom eyes of his own. Kurt palmed Blaine's package and rubbed gently.

Blaine gulped, stammering through his words. "Um, we could celebrate the end of our fight."

Kurt took his hand away and winked. "I'm pretty sure we'll always be fighting." It was the honest truth because Kurt knew that, at least, he would always be fighting with himself for doing the right and wrong thing when it came to Blaine. He'll always want him; with luck he wouldn't slip up, but when he would, he'd treat Blaine like dirt to push him away. But for now, just for today, he could pretend that the fight didn't have to happen right now. Plus, his mind was still sex addled and seeing Blaine in his clothes and touching his semi-hard cock wasn't helping. He decided that he was already being naughty today, might as well make a thorough job of it.

Blaine grabbed Kurt's wrist, inches from his growing erection. A young teen's stamina and virility was an amazing thing for a virgin. "W-what did it feel like? When I, ya know?"

"When you what?" he knew exactly what Blaine needed right now, so he lowered his voice to a husky register and turned back to the shorter boy, bringing his fingers to Blaine's belt and sliding his hand inside the open flap. He was still in awe of Blaine's incredible size and his own erection grew at the thought of sucking on it and being fucked by it. It was a thing of beauty in Kurt's eyes. His cock twitched in excitement when his hand delicately traced Blaine's dick. "When you came all over my hand and screamed my name?" His fingers curled around him now, gripping tightly. "Or when you dropped to your knees and started blowing me?"

Kurt was way too good at this seduction thing. It took nothing, it seemed, to put Blaine in his place as a pile of mush. He moaned softly as Kurt started pumping his fist slowly.

The taller boy slinked to his knees and looked up through heavy lidded eyes at Blaine while he continued to jerk him off tantalizingly slow. He released Blaine from his boxers and jeans, which were far too tight now. With his mouth positioned at the head, Blaine could feel Kurt's breath as he continued to talk. "Or was it when you let me come all over your chest?" His tongue slid out of his mouth and flattened against the head of Blaine's penis, lapping up the bead of pre-come.

No words were able to come to mind for Blaine. Nothing. His mind was completely blank and all he could see was Kurt. His breath left him, hot and wet, at the feeling of Kurt's tongue on him again. Any rational person would say that they were moving way too fast because they hadn't known each other long, they were barely friends, and Blaine only had his first kiss a week ago. But they were seventeen with raging hormones and Blaine was entranced by Kurt.

"Hmm," Kurt murmured. "I wonder how much of you I can take." He grinned like a Cheshire kitten. "Want to find out?"

Blaine's eyes were dark and lust blown. His lips were parted and he nodded as he brushed Kurt's cheek as Kurt had done to him earlier. Kurt giggled and mouthed kisses along his length before taking the head into his mouth. With each thrust of his head, Kurt tried to take Blaine deeper and deeper. He saw it as a personal triumph if he could swallow every last inch. His head pulled off and he coughed, gagging himself momentarily.

"You okay?" Blaine asked, having a hard time keeping his thoughts straight.

"Just longer than I'm used to, that's all." Instantly, Kurt plunged himself down again and again, not really caring if Blaine was experiencing any sort of pleasure, because he was too busy occupying himself with the task at hand. _I'm going to do this, if it kills me,_ he thought. _I'd be able to do this if my tonsils were out. _It was a random thought, but Kurt was determined. He sucked and sucked, hollowing out his cheeks. Blaine's hand was weighing heavy on his shoulder when Kurt felt it tapping him. He ignored it. Then Blaine's voice was stuttering out words mixed with heavy breaths and moans, but Kurt ignored those too. It wasn't until he felt the warm liquid shooting down the back of his throat that he realized what Blaine had been trying to do.

Kurt swallowed every last drop before releasing Blaine from his mouth and staring at the now red cock, which was quickly going limp. He looked at it with a frustrated expression, feeling bested and not liking it. _I'll have to do that again soon,_ he thought, challenging himself and knowing Blaine would never say no.

Blaine was breathing heavy, but peering down at Kurt, who looked like he was seconds away from glaring at his groin. _Did I do something wrong?_ he thought, hoping he wasn't going to ruin something. He quickly, yet gently, tucked his sensitive member back in his pants and zipped up his fly. "I-is everything okay?" He questioned nervously.

"Fine." Kurt sounded like he should have been saying "whatever" with the attitude he had. He was still glaring at Blaine's crotch.

"I'm sorry if I did something wrong. I've never had that done before and it was a new sensation, so I'm really sorry if you're mad that I didn't do something I should have or that I didn't last longer."

"No. It's not you. It's me."

Blaine shifted his eyes, not entirely believing him, but Kurt taking the blame was something new so, he continued with the conversation. "Come again?"

"You're so big."

The pair of honey eyes shifted again in confusion. "Thanks?"

"I wanted to deep throat you, but you're too big. I'm frustrated because I couldn't do it."

A sigh of relief came from Blaine's lungs. "Oh, thank god. I thought I did something wrong."

"No. You were fine." Kurt rolled his eyes and got up off his knees, feeling that praising Blaine too much would make it harder for Kurt to be a jerk later.

"Why did it mean so much to you that you could d-" He couldn't say the words out loud just yet. It was still uncomfortable, "-do _that_?"

"Because it was a challenge and your dick is so god damned gorgeous that I wanted it to be perfect. I should have been able to do it, but you're so long and thick."

Lines formed between Blaine's triangular eyebrows when he pushed them together. "I'm confused. I don't know whether to apologize or say thank you."

"Don't thank me. I didn't do anything fabulous yet."

Blaine followed Kurt as he started to walk away. "Um… You got me to come in less than five minutes. That's pretty fabulous."

"Not that big a deal. I could do it in two if I really tried."

"Two? Wow. That's impressive."

"For me, yes, but for the guy, no. They usually get pissed when I do that because they aren't able to savor the moment. It's gone before they even have a chance to settle into it."

"Then why do you do it?"

Kurt stopped abruptly and turned back to Blaine, who didn't stop fast enough and ended up too close to Kurt's face. "I only do it when I don't want to return the favor, but am guilted into it."

"That's awful. You should never be pressured."

Kurt just looked at him for a long second, still somewhat frustrated, and changed the subject. "So where do you want to go?" He turned again and started walking out of the closet with Blaine following him.

"Go?"

"We're celebrating? Remember?"

Blaine had all but forgotten everything. "Oh yeah!" He chuckled and rubbed the back of his neck. "What do you usually do on a Friday night?"

"Gay bars, but you don't have a fake ID on you, do you?" Kurt shut the large double doors with a click.

"No."

"Then we'll keep it PG-13 then."

"Um, what sort of things are you into?"

"Gay bars."

Blaine laughed, wondering if Kurt was joking. "Anything else?"

"I really want to have another crack at your dick again tonight because this is still bugging me."

Kurt's sudden obsession and openness with sex acts worried Blaine. He understood the raging hormone thing, but this wasn't it. Blaine's first reaction was to run to the bathroom to try to get hard again for Kurt, but there was something a little off about Kurt and sex. "What about a movie?"

"Friday nights are busy at the theaters. I couldn't blow you there."

"No. I meant to actually watch a movie."

"Why would we do that?"

"Are you always like this? Sex on the brain?"

"Most of the time, yes, but the fact that you have a huge penis and I failed at something I tried to do, bothers me."

"I don't think I've ever had someone mad because of the size of my penis before."

"How is it even that big? You're so short and skinny?"

"I was born with it? Why do you want to dee- do that- anyway?"

"Why _don't_ you want that? It's one of the most amazing feelings when you're taken in whole."

"Virgin, remember? I don't know what anything feels like. Well, now I know what two things feel like."

"Whatever. I'll try to let it go. Have you decided what you want to do?"

Listening to Kurt talk about being guilted into performing acts on men made him feel bad for Kurt. It started to make him understand why he might have been so forward with the flirting and everything else. Maybe sex is how he got what he wanted. That made him feel even worse. He didn't know if he was right or wrong about his thoughts, but it still made him feel bad nonetheless. "You know what? Why don't we hang out here? Just chill out and watch movies or something?"

"That's what you want?"

"Yeah. I'm kind of beat from boxing today and I don't want to go out smelling like Icy Hot." He was partially telling the truth. He really didn't want to go out because he wanted to spend time with Kurt, the real Kurt, and not the one that pretends to be someone he's not in public. "So…? What do you think? I know it's not your normal upbeat Friday night, but I'm sure we can find something fun to do."

"Okay."

"Really? You're fine with it?"

"Sure. I promised we would celebrate and do whatever you wanted, so if you want to stay in, then that's what we're going to do. But can I make one small addition?"

"Of course."

"I'm breaking out the wine. I'm used to drinking on Fridays."

"Oh. Okay. Yeah. Whatever you want. I mean, I can't because I have to drive home later, but you can have at it." Blaine wasn't sure if drinking made things better, but he was positive that he was happy that staying in with Kurt Hummel would be a good thing.

Blaine didn't have a curfew because he very rarely went out and hung out with friends, but Blaine still called home and said he was hanging out at the Hummel house. His parents couldn't have been more thrilled that Blaine was friends with the Congressman's son. His parents cared very much about appearance and being friends with people in high places. This was something that actually made them happy because Blaine had made a connection that they would have made, even though Blaine didn't see it the same way they did. They also had no idea that Kurt Hummel was gay.

Kurt brought out snacks and drinks, wine for him and soda for Blaine. They put a movie on and played chess during the whole game. This was a game that Kurt was actually good at, but the more he drank, the more he'd lose. For the second movie, they decided to really watch it and sat on the couch, but by the middle of the movie, Kurt was almost done with the entire bottle of wine and becoming very affectionate.

When the movie had started, they were sitting apart on either side of the couch. As the movie progressed and Kurt would get up to pour another glass of wine, he'd sit down closer and closer to Blaine. When they were finally next to each other, Kurt put his arm around Blaine. Then his head went on Blaine's shoulder. Then he started nuzzling Blaine's neck. Blaine tried his best not to respond because he wanted to show Kurt that he could be around him and not expect to fool around the entire time. While he was extremely happy with the turn of events prior to the movie, he felt it was more important to be emotionally available instead of physically right now. That was when Kurt decided that Blaine was wrong and was annoyed that Blaine wasn't responding to him the way he wanted.

Determined, Kurt got up and stood in Blaine's way. He stared him down then moved to straddle his lap. Blaine, powerless, let him, but protested a little when Kurt started to kiss his neck passionately. "K-Kurt. The movie."

"Fuck the movie," he said and went back to sucking on the hollow of Blaine's neck.

"Buh, ung, but it's just getting good."

"Then you can watch it. I'm busy." His hips started to grind and roll against Kurt.

"W-we don't have to do anything more. You already made me come twice."

"Mmm. Told you." He rolled his hips again. "Wanted to suck your dick again. I have to get it right."

"Pretty sure you already got it right."

"No. I have to get the whole thing." He moaned into Blaine's neck as he ground his hips down again. "You're so big. It's fucking hot."

"Kurt, you're drunk. Maybe we should slow down."

"Maybe you should relax and stop being a prude."

"I just think that this is moving a little too fast for me."

Kurt stopped everything and leaned back, his eyes shooting daggers at Blaine. This was where Blaine knew he said the wrong thing. They were going to fight and he knew this time, because of the level of intoxication of Kurt, there would be no happy medium resolution tonight. "It wasn't too fast when I jerked you off. It wasn't too fast when I blew you. I'm kissing you and now it's too fast?"

"No. Kurt. That's not what I meant."

"It was perfectly clear what you meant." He got off of Blaine and shut the TV off.

"Kurt, please, you're drunk and I don't want to ruin this."

"I'm not that drunk! And you already ruined it. Way to go, _friend_. You know what? You're just like everyone else. I thought you were different, but you are no different than every other guy. You get what you want and then forget everything else after that. It was okay that got you off twice, but when I want to do something, you're suddenly not into it. You're a seventeen year old boy with hormones and I'm hot. You don't want this? What are you straight or something?"

"Kurt, stop. That's not what this is. I just wanted to spend time with you. It has nothing to do with me not wanting you."

"It has everything to do with it."

"How? We fooled around twice already tonight and I thought tonight was about us being friends. I didn't want you to think that I was using you."

"Well, that's exactly what you did."

"I'm sorry! Can we just-"

"You can go."

"What?! No. Kurt, this is stupid. I want to hang out with you. We were having fun up until this point."

"Take your clothes off."

"Excuse me?"

"If you're going to stay, take your clothes off."

"I-I don't- Why?"

"Do it."

"You know what? I feel sorry for you. I don't know if this is the alcohol talking or what, but I really liked you and thought what we did together was special. At least it was for me because it was my first. Now, I don't know what to think because whatever you're doing, this isn't you and I'm not going to call you names because that would be counter productive right now, but the way you're acting, how you're treating me; It hurts and I don't like it. I didn't do anything wrong. Of that I'm sure. I don't know what happened that made you think you had to keep _performing_ for me."

"I didn't _have _to. I wanted to." Silence. "Why don't you just go home, Blaine? Go home."

Blaine eyed him somberly and eventually nodded his head. He grabbed his hoodie from the side of the couch. This felt so wrong. He went up to Kurt, who stood completely still and seemed to look right past him, and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for everything else. Dinner was delicious and what we did meant a lot to me. So, thank you."

Kurt clenched his jaw and released it. "Goodnight, Blaine."

"Yeah. Good night."

…

After Blaine left, Kurt sat on the couch in silence for a very long time. Even being a little drunk he knew that what he did was harsh, but necessary. He was no good for Blaine and while he did a thorough job of completely ruining his chances of ever having a friendship with Blaine, he felt that somehow, maybe that was for the best. He wondered what Blaine thought about how he acted and about the things he said. The kiss on his cheek that Blaine gave him still felt fresh, but he didn't want to touch it in fear that the feeling would go away. He wanted to have it for as long as allowed. It was the little things that meant so much to him because big things, like accepting love from people like Blaine Anderson, were concepts that Kurt had long decided he could never have or reciprocate.

* * *

**The only reason this took a few days to get out was because my internet was being screwy due to the weather. Thank you for being so patient :)**

**Please review!**

Tumblr: Grace-Ryan


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Blaine didn't bother to call Kurt the rest of the weekend because he knew how it would go. He didn't understand and he wished Kurt would help him to, but that wasn't going to happen. Kurt was so closed off all the time. He had gone home feeling uneasy and, frankly, a little dirty because as wonderful as what had transpired between them was, Kurt had said that he felt used. That was the last thing Blaine wanted and the thing he was trying to prevent. In the end, he felt that he had to apologize, but didn't know how.

On Saturday night, Tina invited Blaine over for one of her sleepovers and this time Eli was there along with Mercedes and Rachel. The girls had fallen asleep just after midnight and Eli and Blaine stayed up much longer than that, talking while next to each other in their respective sleeping bags. They got to know each other more and talked about common interests. Eli acted like he suspected something was wrong with Blaine, but he didn't pry too hard.

The only thing Blaine said was that he was fighting with a friend and he wasn't ready to talk about it because he hadn't fully processed what was going on with them. That wasn't a lie, but mostly he knew he couldn't talk about Kurt with the girls around, even if they were sleeping. Kurt and Blaine were, in effect, secret friends. They could be seen in the hallway together, but not hanging out. They could have their lockers near each other, but they couldn't be caught standing too close. Kurt wasn't out and Blaine took the role of secret keeper very seriously.

Eli was proving to be a really great person to talk to and Blaine decided that he wanted to spend more time with him. "I know you're busy and everything during the week, but next weekend, we should do something. Hang out," Eli suggested.

"Yeah. That sounds great," Blaine agreed. The subject changed to boys and hot models and celebrities before they both found themselves drifting off to sleep. Blaine decided it was nice to have a friend in his life that was gay. As much as he wanted to be friends with Kurt, he quickly realized that after Friday night, that probably was never going to happen. Either they were going to be a couple, or nothing at all. He learned the hard way that the saying "sex ruins friendships" was true and it wasn't fair.

By Monday, he had decided that he had the words to talk to Kurt about what happened. He'd taken a lot of time to think about what happened and how he needed to deal with it, but he knew that he couldn't properly talk to him until after school because they only got privacy to talk after gym class in the locker room.

As anticipated, Kurt didn't look at Blaine or talk to him all day, which was hard to do since he sat in front of Kurt in Art class and his locker was near his in gym, but both boys accomplished it. Kurt was especially good at ignoring people's existence when he wanted to. Blaine might as well have never been there.

Blaine didn't have much time to talk because he had to go to a doctor's appointment, but he could at least tell him that he wanted to talk and that they should meet up later or call. After Blaine was dressed at the end of gym, he left his things in his locker while he went to find his fencing coach and give him a doctor's note for missing practice. He'd find Kurt after he spoke to his coach.

He also made a stop at his regular locker because he needed to give back the shirt Kurt let him borrow from Friday night and it was in there. He retrieved it and returned to the gymnasium to make his way through to the boys locker room.

The locker room was empty by the time he came back, but he knew that Kurt was still there because he could hear the showers running and his locker was still open. He slung the shirt over his shoulder and made his way to the showers.

If he hadn't seen it, he would never have imagined it. He stopped dead in his tracks once he reached the steamy showers. Kurt was under the stream of water, eyes shut tight, and clutching the tile on both sides of the shower stall.

"Oh yeah," Kurt moaned. "Shh-it. Uhng, harder. Suck harder. Fuck, uhgn." More moans and expletives left his mouth.

Blaine dropped his eyes and saw nothing, but a pair of feet, not Kurt's, sticking out of the end of the stall. He went from shock to anger. Furious, he left the showers and threw the designer shirt onto the bench near Kurt's locker. He knew Kurt would see it and Blaine's point would be gotten across: _I saw you. _That's all he wanted Kurt to know now. He held in his anger and drive to punch something, anything, and stormed out of the locker room.

…

Kurt had found that he wasn't the only one with a secret within the group of people that he hung out with. One other guy, a particularly built football player, Dave Karofsky, was able to spot the tell tale signs of a man in the closet and approached Kurt sometime last week. Just like with Blaine, Kurt worked fast and by Monday afternoon, Karofsky was on his knees, in the showers, sucking Kurt's dick like it was his favorite flavor popsicle. That wasn't their first time being intimate, however. The showers were meant to be just a quickie because Karofsky couldn't resist seeing Kurt naked in the showers and Kurt couldn't resist getting hard at he surprise he felt when everyone left and Dave's dick was pressing against his lower back and his hands started roaming Kurt's body. They hadn't had anal sex yet, but that was merely because they never had the time. Since Dave first approached Kurt saying that he knew his secret, they'd almost instantly started up a physical relationship with the agreement that their friendship was not to change and it was purely casual. "Casual" became "whenever they were alone and had time." If Kurt would count anyone in his life as his best friend, it would be Dave Karofsky.

Karofsky had followed Kurt out of the showers when they were finished, talking about something Kurt wasn't really paying too much attention too. Then he saw it. His Armani sleeveless button up was haphazardly hanging off the bench. "Shit," he articulated quietly.

"What?" Karofsky asked, stopping his talk of how he wanted to get out of Lima as soon as he graduated.

Kurt picked up the shirt. "Blaine."

"What about him?"

"He saw us." Karofsky's eyes went wide; panic was beginning to be visible. "The shirt. It's mine," Kurt explained. "I let him borrow it. I thought he left, but he must have came back to give this to me or something. He never would have just left it without a reason to not talk to me. He's kind of annoying like that. He always wants to talk."

"What is he going to do?"

"If he saw you, I doubt he'd say anything. I mean, he hasn't told my secret and I've given him plenty of ammunition to do so. I'll talk to him."

"When did you guys become friends?"

"We're not. Well, I'm not really sure exactly, but we hung out Friday." Kurt was unknowingly trying to avoid eye contact with Dave. His mind was frantic with panicked thoughts of Blaine seeing Kurt with someone, but maybe this was the thing that Blaine needed to see to stay away from Kurt. Then the thought was in his head of Blaine seeing Dave and running to anyone in sight and outing one of the people in his lynch mob. Two people he cared about could potentially be hurt. _No!_ He quickly chastised himself. _You don't care about Blaine. Blaine is a naïve little boy and the only people you should care about are the sort of people like Dave, who can have an actual conversation with you and think nothing of a passing hook up._ But he knew he was fooling himself.

"I didn't even know you two spoke. I saw you in the hallways from time to time, but you're in the same classes together and glee club, right?"

"Yeah." The difference between Blaine and Karofsky was that Karofsky was able to separate friendship and hooking up. Karofsky didn't have feelings for Kurt and Kurt didn't have feelings for Karofsky, but they were friends and had a mutual secret and they were useful to each other when need be.

"You into him?"

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I like him the same way I like you." He took a small towel out of his locker and started drying his hair.

"On my knees?" Karofsky laughed.

"Precisely." He smiled and turned his head away after catching Dave's amused face.

"Have you hooked up with him yet?"

"Yet? What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt hung up the towel drying his hair in his locker and shot a look at his friend.

Dave's eyebrows went up. "Blaine Anderson may be a humongous nerd, but the kid's not a bad looker. Let's just say that I know you can't resist something that shines and in the glee club, he's a star."

Kurt thought on Karofsky's comment for a second. Had he really been that transparent? "At least you're not trailing me like a love sick puppy."

"That's what you get for trying to take his v-card."

"I didn't take his v-card and I didn't try to." He paused, remembering each physical interaction they'd had. "I kissed him." He tried to sound uncaring, but for the first time ever, he felt a little uncomfortable with talking about his sexual exploits.

"Is that all?" One perfectly sculpted eyebrow arched upward.

"And I may have given him a hand job." Karofsky continued to stare as if waiting for the rest of the story. "And a blow job." Another look from Karofsky made Kurt know he expected more. "And I let him suck my dick."

The football player smirked. "You don't waste time, do you?"

Kurt shrugged his shoulders. "I'm a professional."

"So how was he?" Dave dared to ask. "Is he any good for a first timer?"

"I'm having a hard time deciding if we're two gossiping girls or having guy talk in the locker room."

Dave nudged Kurt. "Come on. What's he like?"

Kurt chose his words carefully. He was getting the impression that Dave was mentally perving on his conquests and that wasn't acceptable, but he needed to save face and act like he didn't care. "I was pleasantly surprised. I'll put it that way."

"No details?"

An annoyed sigh left his lungs loudly. "He's got a great body. One of those ones you don't want to stop touching. I'm really amazed that people actually try to mess with him because under all those layers, the guy's got some major muscles."

"That's not what I meant by details, but I'll take it." There was a pause. "So you really think he won't tell?"

The skinny teen took out his clothes and unwrapped his towel, leaving him naked. "I am positive that he won't. You don't bother him as much as some of the other guys do. You're more of a bystander who does nothing to stop what's happening."

Karofsky's eyes roamed around Kurt's body. Someone like Kurt was more his type, but he didn't have feelings for Kurt. He wasn't looking for a boyfriend so his friendship with Kurt was perfect. Kurt seemed to Karofsky to have an endless sexual appetite and was almost always down to fool around. Almost. "I feel bad. I do. Sometimes I think I should have told him, to let him know that he wasn't alone. Every time I see it happening, I want to stop it, but I don't want other people to get ideas, you know?" Kurt had put his briefs and jeans on, but hadn't fastened anything yet while he searched for his deodorant and cologne. Dave moved behind Kurt and slid his hands across Kurt's skin, slipping his right hand into Kurt's briefs. He didn't wait long before pumping Kurt's dick, attempting to make it hard.

Kurt leaned back, resting his bare back against Dave's chest. His eyes fluttered shut and he licked his lips, enjoying the feeling of blood rushing to the massaged muscle. "I know and I think he would understand, but at the same time," he angled his head up and began kissing his friend, "his disappointment would make you feel worse, so it's probably best that he didn't know." Their lips connected again.

"Why would he being disappointed in me make me feel worse?" Dave questioned curiously and leaning down to start nipping at Kurt's neck.

Kurt moaned gently, his breath coming in short huffs. "He's got that effect on people. His dopy puppy dog eyes know how to reach in and pull your guts out sometimes." He spread his neck out to give the football player more room.

"Geez, Hummel… the way you notice things like that about him makes me think that you care."

Kurt's eyes snapped open and he instantly wasn't in the mood anymore. He shrugged once to get Karofsky's lips of him"I don't," he lied unconvincingly. "He's just another guy. One of many."

"Don't I know it."

Now he really wasn't in the mood to be jerked off by his friend. He nudged his elbow into Dave's ribs a little to get him to back off completely. "That's enough. I think you've gotten enough of me today."

"Seriously? Just like that?"

"I'm pretty sure I've given you enough of a picture of Blaine Anderson to go think of him while you're jerking off tonight and enough of me to keep you coming back." He was happy with how easy it was to change the subject with Dave.

The football player sighed, feeling sexually frustrated. "Feeling worried I won't?"

Laughter came easily. "Are you kidding?! Go ahead and try to find someone else in this county better than me." He watched Karofsky take one more look at his body. "I have to get going," he lied. "Now get out of here so I can actually get dressed without you trying to take me clothes back off. I'll see you later."

Dave smiled and nodded his head as he rolled his eyes. "Thanks for the 'O'" Dave called out jokingly as he walked off to his own locker.

"Anytime," Kurt called back with a laugh.

…..

"Thank god you don't shoot fire beams out of your eyes," Eli joked.

Blaine had decided to ask Eli to hang out after his doctor's appointment. Blaine had boxing practice again and asked Eli to come along. Before that, they went to the sub shop next door that Blaine was supposed to eat dinner at with Kurt last Friday night. Blaine ordered half a sub with a salad and mostly pushed his fork around. He was angry. "Huh?" he asked, snapping back to reality. The vision of Kurt in the showers with an unknown guy was fresh in his mind.

"What's going on? I'm almost afraid to let you teach me to box today because I'm afraid you'll seriously hurt me."

The curly haired brunette shook his head. "I'm sorry. I-" He paused, trying to find the right words. "I saw something I wasn't supposed to see." _Or maybe I was supposed to see it._ He wouldn't put it past Kurt to do something that over the top to make Blaine mad.

"Did you see one of your parents with another person?"

"No!" Blaine tried to smile at the joke. "It's nothing like that. It's… well… Okay. You've got bullies at your school, right?"

"Of course."

"What if you walked in on a couple of them?"

"Doing what?" Eli was leaning in, very interested and hanging on Blaine's every word. Blaine raised his eyebrows and gestured his head; a strange action, but the silence got his point across. "Oh! Like, together? Together together?" This was juicy gossip.

"More like negative inches together."

"Wow! Were they-" Eli lower his volume and whispered, "_doing it_?"

Blaine lowered his volume just as equally. "No. One was blowing the other in the locker room showers."

Eli's expression was one of shock and something else Blaine couldn't place. "That's… That's kind of hot."

"No it isn't!" Blaine snapped. "How can they pick on someone for being gay when they're just as Kinsey six as the people they mock every day?" That wasn't even close to why he was angry, but the fact that he said it got him thinking. _Kurt was with one of the jocks. The jocks were the popular guys. The popular guys were the bullies. _He began to wonder which one it was.

"I see your point. I guess I hadn't thought of that. What did they do when they saw you?"

"They didn't. I got out of there as fast as I could." His phone buzzed and he looked at it. Kurt's name came up on the caller ID. He had sent him a text.

**K- We need to talk.**

"Hold on a second. Sorry."

"It's alright. Take your time." Eli happily went back to eating his sandwich.

**B- No we don't.**

**K- I know what you saw.**

**B- So you found your shirt then?**

**K- I don't care about that. Did you see who was with me?**

Kurt's text provoked an interesting thought to Blaine. He was mildly curious who the guy on his knees was. Also, he if pretended to know and Kurt let the name slip, Blaine would have the upper hand on whomever it was. More than anything, he wished it were Ian, his worst tormentor. He'd out that teenage boy faster than anything because he only deserved the same treatment that he gave to Blaine over the years.

**B- Yes.**

**K- Can we meet up or something? We need to talk.**

**B- You made your point clear.**

**K- I'm not talking about me. I'm talking about him.**

**B- What about him?**

**K- You can't tell. He's not out to anyone; not even his family.**

**B- I can do whatever I want.**

**K- Blaine, Karofsky isn't even that bad. He's never done anything to you.**

_Karofsky? Dave Karofsky?_ This was rich. Ian, the biggest homophobe at McKinley, idolized the football star. _Dave Karofsky is gay?_

**B- I'll think about it.**

**K- Please?**

**B- What's the matter Kurt? Did he let you cuddle with him?**

**K- Don't.**

**B- It's funny, you know? You could care less about how you treat me, but you seem to care an awful lot about him.**

**K- This is different. You hate me, I get it, but don't take it out on him.**

**B- You didn't want a boyfriend? Or was it that you just didn't want me?**

**K- He's not my boyfriend.**

**B- How can you be so casual?**

**K- Okay, you're mad. That's fine. Are you going to tell anyone?**

**B- I said I'd think about it.**

**K- Whatever.**

Blaine took that as a sign that the conversation was over. "Asshole," he said under his breath.

"Wow, you can't catch a break today, can you?" Eli inquired after clearing his mouth with his soda.

"I'm sort of in a constant state of arguing with a friend. Actually I'm not even sure if we are friends. We said we were, but he's not all that friendly." A flash of the look on Kurt's face on his knees ran through his mind. "Well, at least he sometimes friendly, but most the time he's purposely trying to get under my skin."

Eli narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Then why do you bother?"

"I don't even know anymore. It's like he tries so hard to get me on his good side, then fucks it up almost immediately. And when I try to talk to him or come close to being even remotely normal, he turns on me."

"Remotely normal?" Eli repeated.

Blaine shook his head, knowing he'd given away too much. A sighed left him. "I thought I liked him. He's different and everything about him made me nervous. When I was able to forget that I didn't have to act like an idiot all the time, he'd do something to sour whatever was happening."

"Maybe he likes you too and he's self-sabotaging the situation."

"I doubt it. He's so adverse to having a boyfriend."

"Wouldn't that make an even better reason to ruin the moment? If he likes you, it might scared him because he's not used to wanting what you make him want. Like a relationship."

The thought rolled around in Blaine's head. It didn't take Eli long to come up with that scenario. Could it be possible that he's right? Was Kurt afraid of commitment, or Blaine? He couldn't picture Kurt scared of anything.

"Maybe you should talk to him," Eli added with finality and took another drink from his soda bottle.

* * *

**Please Review!**

**Tumblr: Grace Ryan**


	8. Chapter 8

**Welcome back to those of you I haven't lost from the last chapter :)**

**I wrote a letter to the readers on my tumblr because I didn't think to put a WARNING! in the A/N at the begining of the chapter. It's there now, but it wasn't for a number of hours and according to my reviews, people weren't happy with the Kurtofsky lemons. I explained why I did it and many other things. I felt really bad. I wasn't sad because I wrote it, I was sad that I didn't warn people. I know there are hardcore fans against Kurtofsky as much as I am against other ships, but I promise that it won't happen again. I'm not writing a Kurtofsky story and I had only planned on that one time prior to the outcry of Kurtofsky hate.**

**ANYWAY! Thank you for being so patient and I love you all.**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

Hanging out with Eli proved to be a great way to keep his mind off of Kurt. Because their activity was boxing, Blaine was able to get his aggression out. He knew Eli was watching so he had to focus because when he was sparring, he wanted to impress his friend. It was all for null though because Eli would have been impress with Blaine doing anything. When Blaine got the chance, he taught Eli to do something other than jump rope, stretch, and block. It became comical watching his red-headed friend try the speed bag because not only could Eli not keep up, but he also got hit with the bag a few times.

Eli wasn't strong, so watching him punch a normal bag was funny too. Blaine barely had to hold it for him at all. "You know, you can hit it harder," Blaine joked once. "You won't hurt its feelings."

The carrot top retaliated by jabbing Blaine instead, which didn't hurt at all. In fact, it kind of tickled. All in all, it was a fun evening.

The next day, however, was another story. He ignored Kurt the whole day and couldn't stop himself from nonchalantly staring at Karofsky whenever he saw him. He never saw the bear-like teen to be into guys and certainly never pictured him on his knees in a shower stall blowing someone. A few times Dave caught him staring and they both looked away instantly.

It wasn't until he was changing out of his fencing gear after school that Dave actually approached him. "Hi," Dave said awkwardly.

Blaine jumped, not expecting to hear anything, never mind the voice of a jock speaking to him. He looked over, putting his uniform into his gym locker and standing in a tank top and boxers. "Hi," he replied just as awkward. There was a pause and he caught Dave's eyes very quickly look him up and down. It made him self conscious, but in a completely different way than Kurt did. It wasn't completely unpleasant, it was just weird. "We've been in the same schools together since preschool and you haven't said anything to me since sixth grade when you and your friends pushed me into the deep end of the pool. I couldn't swim very well."

Karofsky shifted his eyes uncomfortably and took a deep breath. "Yeah. I… I'm sorry. I never felt good about doing anything to you. Especially since you could have drowned that one time." He turned his head down shamefully. He expected a lot worse from Blaine for what his friends did and what he didn't stop.

"You don't have to apologize. I understand what mob mentality is."

"What?" Karofsky asked, his eyebrows coming together.

"Mob mentality? It's like follow the leader except if you don't, you can't play the game. You had no choice to follow what everyone else was doing or you'd get the same treatment." He felt like a tool trying to explain this to him.

"Oh. Um. Well. Yeah, sorry anyway."

Blaine reached for his jeans and pulled them on. Dave watched his every move, only taking his eyes off of Blaine for a second to make sure no one was around. "I know what you're doing," Blaine finally admitted. "You don't have to pretend to be nice to me. I'm not going to tell anyone your secret."

"You're not?" A wave of emotion was dumped over Dave Karofky's head like a glitter bomb. "Oh my god, thank you. You have no idea how grateful I am."

"No. I do. That's why I'm not telling. Something like this is important and very hard to come to terms with so, I'm not going to ruin your experience… Even though you and your friends didn't do the same for me." He pulled his long sleeve shirt over his head and slipped his arms through the sleeves.

"I'm sorry. Really I am. If there's anything I can ever do for you…" Dave was clearly relieved, speaking quickly and being very animated as he did so.

"Just try to keep Ian away from me as much as you can. I can only handle him so much in one day."

"Deal."

Blaine pulled out his shoes and sat down to slip his feet in and tie the laces. The conversation was over, but Karofsky still hadn't left. Unbeknownst to them, a pair of blue green eyes had just begun to spy from around the corner.

Dave sat down on the bench facing Blaine with one leg on each side of the thin board. He gulped, watching Blaine go about his actions. He really was just as Kurt had described. Maybe it was his body; maybe it was the elation Dave felt from Blaine telling him he'd keep the secret; maybe it was his kindness. Either way, Dave found himself raising his hand and running the back of his index finger down Blaine's left arm softly. "If there's _anything_," he gulped again, "else you want. Let me know."

Blaine's eyes widened, knowing what Karofsky was offering. He slowly sat up and turned his face to Karofsky, wanting to know if he was kidding. The soft expression and slight smile told him Dave was, astonishingly, being sweet and sincere. If Blaine wasn't so shocked at the turn of events, he might have been flattered.

"A word of advice, K, you're sitting too close. Sports practices are winding down and you never know who's watching." Kurt came sauntering around the corner dripping wet, a towel wrapped around his waist, and a bag of his toiletries in his freehand. Karofsky jumped and slid himself away from Blaine at the sound of a Kurt's voice. Blaine jerked his head to look at Kurt speak and instinctually glared. He was still mad at him. "If you're going to make hooking up in the locker room a habit, you should start paying attention to what time it is." He looked at Blaine and winked. "It helps."

Karofsky stood up. "I was just having a conversation with Blaine. He said he wasn't going to tell."

"I told you he wouldn't." He glance over at Blaine, who was still glaring.

"I'm gonna go." The football player looked back to Blaine. "Thanks again. Really."

"No problem," Blaine replied, still baffled by Dave's previous comments.

"Yes. Yes. He'll let you know if there's anything he needs." Kurt sounded more challenging to Dave. They were friends, but it was like he was asserting dominance as if to say: he's mine. Dave got the hint and smiled knowingly, thinking it was funny.

Kurt turned away and Karofsky left. Blaine went back to putting his shoes on.

"That was big of you… not telling anyone about Dave." His voice chanced to one that was tentative and careful. "You had every right to blab to everyone." Kurt wasn't looking at Blaine, but he opened his locker and unwrapped his towel to dry himself off.

Blaine didn't look at or respond to the other boy. He got up and put his things away properly. A hand touched his tricep. He stopped his actions and, it took him a few seconds, but he finally looked Kurt in the face without glowering.

"Thank you," Kurt said gently. "Thank you for helping my friend."

There was something in Kurt's eyes and on his face that Blaine saw before. It was the same, guilty, pleading, honest look he wore last week in the art room when he begged Blaine to have coffee with him. Blaine refused to be sucked in this easily though._ Not this time,_ he thought. "Kurt?" Blaine began gently.

"Yes?"

"Put come close on." His face was stern. His locker clinked shut and he slung his bag over his shoulder before walking around Kurt. His feet stopped at the end of the row. Kurt was still standing naked in the same place, his backside now facing Blaine. "I didn't do it for you." He said. "Dave never _tried _to hurt me. He was part of a crowd and any pain he caused me was unintentional. That's more than I can say for you."

There was so much noise in the locker room with boys coming and going from practices, but Kurt heard absolutely nothing. Blaine's voice surged straight through him and it froze him in place. A lump was rising in his throat, but he swallowed hard, unwilling to let himself cry. Not here.

The following day wasn't looking any better for Kurt. He tried to talk to Blaine in the hallways, but Blaine ignored him. In the locker room in gym class, Kurt tried to make small talk, but Blaine would only give him a parting glance. How had it gotten this way so quickly? _Oh yeah, _Kurt thought. _Me. How could I forget? I did this on purpose._

Kurt often Skyped with his dad while eating dinner because dinner time was sacred to them and it was the only time of day when Burt could give 100% of his undivided attention to Kurt. That night, Burt picked up immediately on Kurt's melancholy and probed him about it. Kurt explained that it was about a guy and he'll be fine because it was nothing.

"Now that's a lie if I ever saw one," Burt said, putting his fork down. "What's up? Is this guy not treating you right?"

"No, that's not it." Hundreds of miles away and Kurt could still feel his father's eyes on him through a screen. He had his pointed away from Burt because, while he wanted to talk about it, he was having a hard time discussing the topic. "It's the other way around."

Burt's eyebrows went up. In his eyes, Kurt was perfect and gentle. He was sensitive and strong at the same time. They'd been through so much together and Kurt had always come through. He couldn't imagine his son mistreating anyone. "Explain."

Kurt's head lolled from one side to the other as he contemplated how to word his situation. "Okay. There's this guy at school. I'm not sure if I like him. Sometimes I think I might, but then other times he inadvertently reminds me of the kid I was during that time we don't talk about. When I remember, I get mad."

Burt slowly chewed what was left of the meatloaf in his mouth and put his fork down with an audible clank against the plate. There were a handful of events from Kurt's childhood that have been put away in a volt and not talked about in a very long time. The memories of these things were too painful and as a family, they both agreed that once their discussions of these topics were done, they wouldn't be talked about again. However, in this particular instance, Burt knew exactly what Kurt was talking about. "Do you ever talk to anyone about what happened?"

"No. I know we agreed not tell people. It's done and it was so long ago that it's out of my thoughts. Then I see Blaine and I don't know why, but I remember."

"Kurt, if you're still angry about it, then maybe you should go back to counseling. It isn't right or good for you to harbor thoughts and feelings about it. You don't want it to make you an ugly person."

_It already has,_ Kurt thought. "Maybe. But that's not the point. I don't know what to do about him. I tried talking to him and he ignores me."

"Is this the boy you had over for dinner on Friday when I wasn't home?"

"Yes."

"Blaine, you said, right?"

"Yeah. Blaine Anderson. I think his parent's own a real estate company or something."

"Well, the best advice I can give you is to give him time. He'll come around. You understand guys because you are one. If the situation were switched, would you want to be bombarded before you had a chance to cool down?"

"I guess not."

"Then problem solved. Give him some time. In the mean time, try to work on thinking of ways to avoid flying off the handle when he reminds you of back then. It's not his fault, remember? He had nothing to do with what happened, so it isn't fair to take it out on him."

Kurt furrowed his brows and turned his eyes down. He never liked crying in front of his father. "Sometimes I miss mom so much, you know?"

"I know, kiddo. Me too." For a couple minutes, Burt watched Kurt eat in silence and his heart fell for his child. Kurt was eighteen, but he was still his little boy that he rocked to sleep at night. "Why don't we go to her plot this weekend and plant some new flowers for her and have a picnic?"

Kurt sniffled and looked expectant at the screen. "I'd like that."

There were more things that Burt wanted to ask like if Blaine was out at school or how did Blaine feel about keeping Kurt's status a secret, but if was enough that Kurt expelled that much information in the first place and it was obviously bothering him, so he didn't want to make him feel worse by dragging it out longer. "How's your meatloaf, kid?"

Kurt laughed through his nose at the change in subject. His father often complained about the room service cooking because it didn't taste quite as good as a restaurant, but it certainly didn't taste like home. "Better than yours probably. I cooked it."

Burt laughed in agreeably. "You're probably correct. Maybe I should start bringing your leftovers here with me."

"Good luck getting frozen food through the airport, dad."

The mood was changed and Kurt felt happier having spoke to his father about things. The topic wasn't the best he could think of, but it was worth the stress. Burt always had a way of making things seem less extreme than Kurt thought they were. All in all, Kurt took "be patient" from the conversation. Patience was not something he was good at, but if he was going to start seeing a counselor again, he might as well make it self improvement month and work on it.

Two weeks went by with Blaine not saying anything more to Kurt than he had to. In art class he had to work in a group for a few days with Kurt in it. They were on the same team multiple times for something in gym class. Then there was Glee Club where everyone had to work together. He finally got to hear Kurt sing and he tried his hardest not to react. Even though his voice and song choice were admittedly breath taking.

Kurt hadn't tried to talk to him since the whole Karofsky incident and stopped hounding him in the locker room, which Blaine was thankful for. He didn't know if it were possible to get any angrier than he already was. Kurt hadn't let him alone or given him space to breathe. Kurt made it all about Kurt and Blaine tried to get his point across that Blaine was acting this way _because _of Kurt. In the time since then, Blaine had cooled off and wasn't angry anymore. He moved from angry to bitter. When he was bitter, everything annoyed him about Kurt. His popularity annoyed him, his confidence, his smile, and his imperfect perfection. It wasn't until he realized that the mere sight of seeing Dave and Kurt talking together made his fingertips curl inward to a fist that he realized he moved from bitter to jealousy and cursed himself for feeling it. _I'm supposed to hate him,_ he thought. It was that moment that he knew, despite everything, he still had some feelings for Kurt. Even with this new knowledge, he refused to talk to Kurt unless absolutely necessary. It confused him why he still liked Kurt on a personal level after what he did, so he continued to keep his space.

Kurt, on the other hand, let Blaine have all the space he needed and wanted. He took his father's advice and, while they weren't talking to one another, things seemed to get better. It took some time, but Blaine was able to be cordial with Kurt in classes and Glee Club. He had stopped glaring at him and altogether avoiding him. All this was better than nothing, he supposed.

Then the end of two weeks came and their art teacher was reading off pairs of names to work together on an art project. Whether it was fate, irony, or coincidence that Kurt and Blaine were paired together, neither one would ever know, but, in Kurt's eyes, it was at least a chance to get them talking about anything. And anything was better than nothing.

The project was to create a portfolio of whatever they drew out of a hat. Kurt let Blaine pick and they chose "action;" meaning they would have to use different mediums depicting their view of what action was to them.

Blaine turned around in his seat and faced Kurt. He hadn't said anything to him in two weeks. It was a hard habit to break. Instead, he just stared into his blue-green eyes.

"Hi," Kurt stated carefully.

"Hi," Blaine responded almost as softly.

_One word_, Kurt thought. _It's a start._ "So… any ideas?"

"Er. Why don't we nail down a schedule to meet so we can work on this first? We won't be given a whole lot a time in class to get this done, but I think we got lucky where we can maybe get away with doing this separately for the most part."

Kurt's face fell a little. _Separately._ "Well, if you want to do action shots, I've got a really great camera we can take pictures with and then we can turn those into whatever. If you want." He figured that they would be taking pictures of people while doing something normal in their daily lives, like two football players trying to tackle each other or someone riding a bike. He forced himself not to act like a pervert and say something sexual about taking pictures of people in action. If Kurt were ever to get back on Blaine's good side, he'd have to start being himself, whomever that was.

"That sounds perfect. It's easy and it'll take the least amount of time."

That wasn't what Kurt wanted. He wanted something that would require them to spend the most amount of time together. "So when do you want to do this?"

"I can't tonight. I have boxing."

"That's fine. I'm flying out today after school to meet my dad for something. So, tomorrow is out too."

"Sunday?"

"I'm not sure. What about Monday after swim practice?"

"That would work. I have Fencing, then some time before karate."

"Great."

"Great."

Blaine started to turn back.

"Blaine?" Kurt blurted out tentatively. The shorter boy didn't reply, but did look back with an almost friendly expectant face. "I'm really glad we got paired together."

Blaine's eyes wandered off for a moment and finally returned back to Kurt's face. He didn't know what to say. So, he turned the corner's of his lips up a little, enough for it to be considered a smile, and nodded his head once before turning back around in his chair.

A smile and a head nod. It was enough for Kurt to be hopeful.

* * *

**My internet has been screwy again, so it took too long to get this out. This was originally one and a half chapters, but the original chapter 8 was so short and I wanted to end it on a positive note, so I expanded it to the art class scene. Next chapter... Klaine in the locker room... locker rooms with Klaine either goes REALLY good, or REALLY bad, let's see which one ends up happening, shall we? BTW I'm not even sure because I've written it twice and it could go both ways. I'm having a very hard time with it. :(**

**Please review, also, please send me ideas for the next chapter because I'm beyond stumped on whether next chapter should be hot or sexualy frustrating. remember, if it's hot, Kurt's pattern is to make Blaine feel like shit afterward. Let me know in the review section what you all would like to see and I'll poll the results :)**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Blaine's weekend was mostly spent with Eli. Eli met him at North Lima High School on Saturday afternoon because McKinley had a fencing tournament against them and other schools there. Blaine ended up placing second overall. He was convinced that the only reason he did well was because things with Kurt were winding down and the only reason he made the few careless mistakes he did was because he was so distracted during practice the past couple weeks. The latter was also because of Kurt.

After the meet, Eli was invited by Blaine's parents to join them for an early dinner to celebrate Blaine's victory. They parted ways from Blaine's parents after to hang out around town. They went to the Between the Sheets, a comic book store, the mall, and finally settled on making a late night movie. Eli wanted to see a cheesy romantic comedy that was, no doubt, going to be filled with teen girls crying in the audience, but Blaine pouted and convinced him to see a sci-fi action film.

"Don't you dare try to pull an adorable face with me, Blaine Anderson," Eli ordered playfully. "It won't work."

"But it already has," Blaine laughed, linking his arm with his friend's and pulling him into the theater to get in line for tickets.

"Only because we're celebrating you today."

Blaine smiled, enjoying the playful banter he and his friend had.

When the movie ended and they were walking back to Eli's car, they decided that they were having too much fun to call it a night so Blaine asked if Eli could sleep over. His mother agreed and said that she'd make up the spare room for Eli to sleep in. She knew they weren't a couple, but Cooper was never allowed to have girls spend the night even if they were friends, so Blaine was no different.

"I never pegged you as an alien type movie goer," Eli explained.

"I like cerebral things. When it makes you think, I like it. Alien movies are all about outsmarting the species because they're supposed to be so advanced, or whatever. But, in movies, we beat them every time because our hope, perseverance, and intelligence combined make us the more advanced species."

Eli stopped at a stop light and looked over at Blaine with a funny expression. "I think you're reaching."

"What do you mean?" Blaine asked.

"The underdog story you just told is one that all of us non-teen royals go through. You get bullied at school and you try to be the bigger person by not kicking their asses. Or, if you will, you make yourself into the advanced species. In essence, even though you're the minority, they're the aliens and you're the human race that can conquer all."

Blaine met Eli's eyes and listened to every word. Maybe what Eli was saying had a bit of truth to it, but he didn't want to talk about it or sully the evening with serious talk. "You're taking a psychology class, aren't you?"

Eli laughed. "Yes! I love it. I think I want to major in it when I go to college."

They continued to laugh together and Blaine was happy that Eli was so easily distracted. Because Blaine worked out so much, his parents provided him with tons of snack foods to keep his calorie count up. He was happy with his weight and didn't want to get any smaller than he already was. He thought he could stand to maybe gain a little more muscle despite his trainers and doctor telling him he looker perfectly proportioned. Eli was amazed at the amount of food that Blaine had a claim to, especially since the only people in the household was Blaine and his parents. Together, they grabbed armfuls of food and brought it all upstairs to Blaine's room.

"You have a lot of music," Eli mused as he perused his friend's Ipad. It wasn't long before Blaine's room had turned into a dance party and his father came banging on the door to tell them to turn it down. By the time they realized that they were tired, the sun was starting to rise and they figured they should split up before Blaine got in trouble for having a boy in his room all night. He tip toed to the spare room Blaine's mother made up for him and didn't wake up until noon when Blaine went jumping on the bed to wake him up.

By Monday, Blaine was relaxed and happy because he couldn't remember having so much fun in a long time. Eli was so easy to be around and they had so much in common. He couldn't help, but compare the differences between Eli and Kurt because his friendship with Kurt, if you could call it that, took a lot of work. However, one big difference between the two was that Blaine hadn't hooked up with Eli and didn't plan to. He wasn't all that attracted to him and really hadn't thought about it to begin with. Eli was fun and why mess with that anyway?

In art class he gave Kurt a small wave when he entered the room, but spent the class time busy with crafting a few frames for an art gallery the school was having. He wanted to enter a few paintings in the event and was excused to the woodshop class to cut out dimensions from donated wood to create the frames. Puck was nice enough to help out with this and sanded down the edges while his little buddy used a small table saw. When he had enough pieces cut and sanded for three frames, he nailed them together and super stapled canvas around the whole thing. In the end, he was very impressed with his work and rushed back to class just in time to be late for gym.

Any money the event made off of donations or bought and paid for artwork from various departments in the school, went straight to the arts programs. Budgets for those departments were getting cut more and more each year and anything that could help save them was useful. Blaine's work was particularly popular. He already had some drawings he had finished and needed to make frames for those as well.

His teacher gave him a note to give to the gym teacher that excused his tardiness, but he still had to rush to change his clothes and make up for lost time in running laps. It was the time of year when the class had to go through physical fitness tests that were bogus to begin with because Blaine couldn't count many jobs that required skills like rope climbing and chin ups. He could think of some, but not many. Either way, the boys always made a competition out of who could do the obstacle course the fastest. Usually a jock finished first and he was usually the biggest asshole in the entire class, but when it was Blaine's turn, he knew he had all these things covered. Boxing and fencing gave him incredible upper body strength and karate definitely helped his lower body and core strength, not to mention agility.

He took a look at his opponent, who gave Blaine a one over look to say that he wasn't scared of losing to the nerd from glee club. The teacher whistled and the two boys took off running. First, they had to run to a station and do ten complete push-ups, the ones where you have to clap your hands in between. Then you run to another station where you jog through tires on the floor and make sure you don't trip. Another run to a balance beam and cross that without falling came next. This was where Blaine got the lead because Bo, the boy he races against, fell off and had to start the beam all over again. From there Blaine had to traverse monkey bars without touching the floor, another thing he had no problem with because of his size and strength. Bo, touched the floor twice on this event and had to start over again each time.

It was clear that Bo was getting frustrated and pressured because the kid that everyone made fun of was beating him by a wide margin and his friends were teasing him from the sidelines.

The only thing Blaine had trouble with was the army crawls. He had to crawl on his stomach under ropes and switch over to his back half way through. He wasn't supposed to touch the net, but he did three times and had to start over again. Bo caught up to him, but had to start over twice as well and was forced to watch Blaine, from the nets, finish the course by climbing a rope and ringing a bell at the top. Bo was too tired and not strong enough to make it all the way up the rope. The best part was that at the end of the class, Blaine not only beat out Bo's time, but had the fastest time in the whole class.

Kurt was standing in line to race after Blaine and he clapped when Blaine finished, starting a chain reaction and more than half the rest of the class clapping too. His time was truly impressive and Kurt found himself really happy for Blaine.

Blaine tried to stifle a laugh when he heard Bo mumbling angry sentences as how he would have beaten Blaine if he did this or that and Blaine was only good at certain things because- then he'd insert a homophobic statement that Blaine wasn't even offended by because he had bested the entire class. He looked across the gym at Kurt before he started his race and they smiled at each other. They had an almost silent conversation through facial expressions that went like this:

**Kurt: I'm impressed.**

**Blaine: Thank you.**

Then Kurt thought about how hot Blaine was in his gym shorts and tank top and smiled even wider.

In the locker room, Kurt tried to stay to his plan of giving Blaine space, but since they had began talking, sort of, it took a lot of self restrain that he wasn't used to using, to not start talking to Blaine. To Kurt's surprise, it was Blaine who spoke first while they were at their lockers at the end of gym class.

"Did you bring your camera today? For our project?" Blaine asked, trying to sound casual.

"Yup. It's locked in my car." Kurt wondered if he should act his normal self, cocky and forward, or pretend that nothing happened and just be nice. "I heard you won a fencing tournament?"

Blaine thought it was weird that Kurt knew that he had a fencing match at all. "Second place, actually," he said with a smile anyway.

"Well your just all kinds of impressive recently, aren't you?"

"I was always impressive. Just, no one noticed because no one was looking before."

Kurt chuckled and discarded his shirt into his locker. "Well, well, well. Look who's growing an ego." Blaine just smiled and tossed his tank top into his own locker. "So, what else did you do this weekend?"

"I spent pretty much the whole time with Eli. We had a sleep over, went shopping, saw a movie, not in that specific order. On Sunday we lounged around my house all day in our pajamas and watched movies and listened to music. It was a lot of fun."

Kurt continued to smile, but the feeling behind it changed. He didn't want to hear about Eli because he had something that Kurt did not: a comfortable relationship with Blaine Anderson. _I bet Eli doesn't screw things up like I do,_ Kurt thought. Instantly, Eli became competition and he didn't like him. In order to feel important, Kurt had to feel like he was the one on top and in control. Which is why he was about to screw himself over again without thinking. Because, around Blaine, he wasn't in control. Blaine wasn't alpha, but Kurt wasn't in control of himself so he wasn't alpha either. It drove him crazy.

"So, how was D.C.?" Blaine questioned, genuinely curious about the nation's capitol.

Kurt bit his lip and turned to Blaine. "I love D.C. The bars are amazing because the guys are so hot."

"Oh." Blaine averted his eyes and turned back to his locker. "I see nothing's changed," he mumbled.

"Seriously, I met the man of my dreams on the dance floor. I was almost sad after we broke up twenty minutes later, but then someone even better found me shortly after." The thing was, Kurt was lying this time. He hadn't gone to the gay bars at all in D.C. this time. The high light of his weekend was flirting with the straight son of another congressman, making out with him while they were both drunk, and eventually giving the same aged teen a hand job just because he always thought it was funny that a straight guy doesn't think it's gay if another guy does the performing on him. Kurt didn't particularly care. In all honesty, he thought of Blaine the whole time.

This thing with Eli and Blaine was really bothering Kurt. He was starting to doubt trying to win Blaine back over because if things with Eli were so much fun, then maybe Eli was better for Blaine than Kurt. _Hell, anyone would be better for Blaine than me,_ he thought. He wanted to have sleepovers and dates with Blaine. This was the first time he actually admited it to himself, but he did want those things and it was a struggle for him to do so.

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Sounds like you had a busy weekend. I'll see you after practice." He went over to his fencing locker and ignored Kurt the rest of the time. Dismissing him was the only thing he could think of to do.

The next time he saw Kurt was after practice when Kurt walked into the shower stall next to his. They didn't talk because other guys were in there too and after a particularly hard practice due to distractions, Blaine was in no mood for pleasantries. If he said anything he was sure that he'd accidentally out Kurt here in the showers.

"Blaine, coach says that you had an awesome time on the obstacle course today," Karofsky said a few stalls down, while he was rubbing soap on his chest.

Blaine looked awkwardly down the row at Dave. He never spoke to him in front of other people, never mind being nice to him. "Thanks?" He wasn't sure what was going on.

"She says that she wished our running back was as fast as you."

"Shut up Karofsky!" yelled a voice from the other end of the showers.

That's when Blaine smiled because he realized that the running back and the voice who just yelled was Bo, the boy he beat in the obstacle course. The other jocks laughed.

"I suppose it must be easy to learn to run fast when you're used to running away from people threatening to throw you in the dumpster," Bo shot at Blaine.

"Hey!" Kurt hollered before Blaine had a chance to respond. "Dude, you have no balance and suck at rope climbing, he's better. Get over it." The room went silent again.

"Must be nice to have a protector, Anderson."

"Must be nice that your coach wants to replace you with a fairy," Blaine said in the same tone as Bo as he looked at the tile ahead of him.

"What'd you say, homo? Wanna say that to my face?"

Blaine turned around and faced the boy directly. "Why don't you ask Ian what happened the last time _he_ said that to me."

"That's enough, Bo," Kurt warned.

"Stay out of this, Richy Rich."

Kurt's eyebrows flew up. He wasn't used to people challenging him here. _Well, now this'll be fun_, he thought, slipping into bitch mode. Blaine looked from Kurt to Bo. He was about to respond in defense to Kurt, but Kurt waved his hand, letting Blaine off the hook. "You know, I understand that you're pissed that a gay guy is better than you at pretty much everything. I also understand that it must be very frustrating to spend so much time trying to get Lisa Anne into bed with you and when you finally do, she tells everyone that not only are you a two pump chump, but a pencil dick too. Ouch, that would be a bruise to my ego too."

There was silence. Blaine was one hundred percent surprised that a fight didn't break out, or, at the very least, Bo didn't continue his homophobic ranting. Blaine quickly rinsed off, grabbed his towel and exited the showers. He didn't want to be in there any more. He put on his boxers and applied deodorant. That was when he felt the sharp sting of a towel snapping at his back. His hand flew to the welt that was already forming and spun around. No sooner was he the recipiant of a punch to the jaw and he fell over, hitting his shoulder on the lockers as he fell.

"Not so tough now, are you?" Bo yelled.

Blaine immediately got up and stood in stance to fight back with his hands up by his face.

"Oh! You wanna fight? Awesome. I'd love to see this happen."

Bo threw the first punch, which Blaine blocked easily and slipped his foot behind Bo's legs in one motion, tripping him and sending him to the floor. He didn't really want to fight this time. Mainly because he wasn't angry like he was with Ian, but also because he knew what happens when it comes back to his boxing coach. This time he would be conscious enough to not technically fight, but blocking was okay.

The running back scrambled up to his feet in a rage. A crowd started forming due to the noise. He charged Blaine, but in the last moment, Blaine was able to skip out of the way and push him to the lockers. Bo was only getting angrier because his friends were watching and, once again, the shorter nerd was besting him. Blaine, the boy who was bullied, suddenly couldn't be touched. No matter what Bo tried, he couldn't get his hands on Blaine and the closer he got, he only ended up on the floor.

Finally, Karofsky came running and carried Bo off, saying that he should have left him alone. "That's what you get for not listening and being an asshole," he said calmly with Bo over his shoulder.

The crowd dissipated and the only ones left was Kurt, who stood watching Blaine from the corner of the lockers, and Blaine, who watched Bo get carted off by his new friend, Karofsky. _That still sounds odd,_ Blaine thought.

Kurt went over to his locker and opened it. He snatched something out of the red metal box and smashed it between his hands. Blaine was ignoring him, but flinched away when he felt bitter coldness on the side of his chin and mouth. He turned and Kurt was trying to tenderly put an ice pack up to his cheek. "You're too pretty to get a wheel on your face."

Blaine took the ice pack from Kurt, their fingers brushing lightly. "Thanks."

"Do you still want to work on our project today?"

"Yes. I don't have a whole lot of time otherwise."

"Mm," Kurt mused. "You are a busy boy."

They got dressed in silence and Kurt went off to his car to get his camera. They agreed to meet in the pool area because there were people still there for an extended practice. Blaine sat on the bleachers and looked up at the high dive board. He made a quick draw of the outer shape of a boy's body and waited for him to go back up again and watched carefully at the way his muscles sat when he got into position. He continued this until Kurt showed up and he was already working on the sketch according to memory.

"I'm going to go take a dive shot in motion, okay?" Kurt mentioned and padded off to the side of the pool.

Blaine glanced at Kurt and noticed how still he was standing and thought he was a perfect subject. He abandoned the sketch he was already working on and turned the page. He worked at fast as possible, hoping for Kurt to not move. He didn't want to miss a shade or angle on the camera or Kurt. His hand scribbled and rubbed quickly and shut his notebook just as fast when Kurt started to walk back over.

"What are you working on?" Kurt asked.

"Mark. I liked the symmetry of the T position he made with his body before he jumped off the board."

"He does have great form. I shot some pictures of him in a tuck before he hit the water."

"So, is that it? Are we done?"

"I was hoping you might want to go someplace else for a different look."

Blaine looked at the clock. "I should get going. I have to go to Karate practice."

"Can I come?" Kurt seemed like he genuinely wanted to go, which Blaine was skeptical about. "I can get some shots of people there."

"Uh, sure…" He dragged out the words, thinking about the possible connotations.

Kurt read between the lines. He heard the tone in Blaine's voice and made his own assumptions. "Never mind. You don't want me there."

"No. I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to. I heard it in your voice."

Blaine sighed. "Why does everything have to be so frustrating with you?" He got up, clutching his notebook and holding it to his chest. Kurt followed him out of the pool area and back into the locker room.

"What did I do now?" Kurt finally asked.

"I don't know, Kurt. Forget it. Let's just get this project done and we don't have to worry about doing this anymore."

Kurt's eyes went wide, stunned and whatever coolness he was able to fake with everyone else, in this moment, he was about as shy as Blaine was when they first met. He cleared his throat and steadied himself. _Normal,_ he thought. _Act like nothing happened._

They stopped at their respective lockers and Blaine reached into his locker to put on his shoes because shoes were not allowed in the pool area. Kurt did the same.

Blaine leaned against the locker next to Kurt's, barefooted, giving Kurt the ice pack back. He was trying very hard to keep as calm as he was. In his time away from Kurt and through talking to Eli, he learned to accept things for the way they were and adapt to them because he was growing up and part of grow up means to allow room for a widening world and to either be a part of that world or be alone. He also learned that he can be apart of his growing world, but still be that shy and nervous boy he'd always been. But that didn't mean that Kurt still didn't affect him the way that he did. It had bothered him when Kurt mentioned hooking up with the men in D.C. In Blaine's mind, Kurt must have known that it would bother him because it was Kurt's sexual exploits that got them in the mess they were in now.

Blaine watched Kurt reach for an item in his locker and something caught his eye. He looked at Kurt puzzlingly for about twenty seconds and reached into the locker himself, knowing Kurt saw what he was looking at. His hand emerged from the red, well organized locker with black cloth. He gulped, looking at the Armani shirt he wore weeks ago.

Absently, Blaine held the shirt to his chest. There was a faint scent of menthol wafting from the fabric. "I don't understand you."

Kurt blinked and breathed deeply. "I don't understand myself sometimes."

"You don't seem like the kind of person who keeps dirty laundry laying around."

Kurt chose his words carefully. "You're not dirty laundry, Blaine."

There was a long paused between the boys. "I don't understand you."

"I can't pretend like I haven't deserved everything I got. I had your anger coming to me. I treat a lot of things like they don't matter. I can say it's a defense mechanism, but I've been doing it for so long that it's become part of who I am." The honesty that came out of Kurt's mouth wasn't as liberating as Kurt had hoped. Instead it only made him feel shame. But his father had advised him to be honest and, at this point, he would try anything.

"I don't believe that."

There was a stunned silence between the two boys. Neither one could believe the turn of events, but that was how things usually worked with them. Not Kurt nor Blaine could ever predict how a conversation was going to go. "Why don't you hate me?"

Blaine kept his mouth shut and shrugged his shoulders because it crossed his mind a few times that maybe he did or could. "So, what does that mean for us?"

"Blaine, I know that's what you want, but there isn't an us. I can't be that and I can't do that for you."

"You said that before. You want to be friends, but you still push me away. I don't understand and I don't get it because you seem to relate to Karofsky so easily, yet you do and say things, I think on purpose, but you know what? I think you keep pushing me away because you're afraid of what it means if you didn't."

"What would it mean?"

"That you'd let someone in."

"You don't know how hard I'm trying right now not to shoot some insulting thing at you."

"I get it. We're dangerously close to a personal conversation and you want to be mean so that I'll go away."

"Yes."

"Why do you care then? You seem to have spent an awful amount of time trying to apologize time and time again, yet you-" Then something occurred to Blaine. He tilted his head to the side, as he usually did when he was curious. It was not the first time Kurt saw the puppy dog face and he thought it was adorable every time. "You gave me my space on purpose." He didn't ask it as a question because he knew the truth.

Kurt licked his lips and averted eye contact as best as possible. "It was my father's idea."

"You told your father about me?"

"I tell my dad everything."

"Everything?"

"Well, I didn't tell him that you gave me a blow job in our living room, if that's what you're asking."

Blaine strained to hold back a smile, but it didn't work. He barely held in a laugh. "There you are. It's comments like that that make me remember that we used to be friends. That you used to make me afraid to open my mouth around you."

"I'm trying."

"I know." He smiled again. "That's what makes me so curious because you're trying. Trying for what?"

"I'm trying to make up for being stupid so we can maybe be friends."

"Friends like you're friends with Dave Karofsky?"

Kurt's expression fell. He wanted to say so much to Blaine about that. For the first time in a very very long time, he felt embarrassed or ashamed about his exploits. "At first I was scared knowing that you might have seen that. Then I was happy because maybe it meant you would be angry enough to stay away from me. And then I was just sickened because you didn't deserve that. You'd never been with anyone before and I made you feel like you were replaceable."

"But I am. We all are."

"Don't say that."

"Why?"

"Stop. I can't do this. I know this is what you want, but I can't. I want to be friends, but I can't get personal like this. It's not who I am. I like having casual sex with people I both know and don't know. I like not answering to people. I like feeling like teen royalty around here. I like using you and everyone else and then acting like a prick afterwards."

"Liar. You hate doing that to me. Maybe you like doing that to other guys, but not me. If you actually liked it, then you wouldn't try so hard to get me to forgive you. You wouldn't be talking to your father about how to get back on my good side. Kurt. You're a complicated person, but I get you. You don't want to cuddle, fine, but you don't have to be an asshole afterward."

Kurt looked at Blaine with an expression beyond shocked and curious. "Wait. You aren't expecting us to hook up again, are you?"

"The only thing I expect is for you to treat me like shit again at some point and then find some way for me to forgive you in time for the cycle to start all over again."

"Ouch. That kind of hurt."

"You're right. It does, but you'll bounce back from that one little comment. I won't. I'll fall for it every time and let it all pile up. I'm tired of feeling like this. Why is it so easy for you and Karofsky and not for us?"

"Karofsky and I want the same thing. No commitment and no complications. It's just an action. With you…" He gulped. Feelings. He wasn't good at this. "It's complicated. You want more and…"

"And…?"

"I don't." Kurt was struggling to keep eye contact. He wasn't fooling anyone. "I don't want you. I had you once and it was fun, but I don't want you anymore. I don't want complications and I don't want any extras. I made a big deal out of apologizing because I want to be friends. Karofsky and I don't really talk. I thought it would be nice to have a friend to talk to."

The last part made Blaine look at Kurt even harder. If Kurt and Karofsky didn't really talk, then the time they spent together was spent doing something else that Blaine didn't want to think about. "I don't know if I want to be your friend. I can't listen to you talk about hooking up with random men. I care about what we did. It meant something to me. It's a slap in the face that you can hook up with me and then not bat an eye as you tell me about that you hooked up with two strangers that meant nothing to you."

"I'm sorry, but that's just the way that I am. I can't pretend and say that I thought you knew that, but- I don't know what else to say. I can't take back what I did and I can't change the way I am."

"Then why are you holding onto a shirt that smells like Icy Hot?" Blaine was getting animated. He clutched the shirt harder, sure that he was making wrinkles galore in the fabric. "If you don't care then why haven't you brought it home to clean it?"

"Can you please just stop acting this way?"

"Why?! Is it throwing you off?"

"Yes! You don't act this way."

"Would you prefer me to be a bumbling idiot again? Would that be better for you? Would you want me then?"

"Is that what you want?" Kurt was growing angry again very rapidly. He was losing control again. Only this time, it wasn't jealousy and it wasn't a reminder of his past, it was a reflection of the person he was. Blaine was forcing Kurt to look at himself for what he was. Normally Kurt didn't think about what he did and didn't care because he didn't have to answer to anyone. Blaine made him feel ashamed and guilty for the things he did. He hated that. It wasn't Blaine's fault that Kurt hated what he did, but it was the only thing he knew. "For me to want you? You have no idea- Anything I do- There's nothing-" He licked his lips, eyes wild, not knowing what to say at all. He was furious. "You don't understand me? I don't understand you!" he spit out. "You want me to want you? Done. I always want you. And for your information, I lied about those two guys in D.C. I think that's the first time I ever lied about hooking up with someone, but I did it because I was jealous that you were with Eli what's-his-name."

"You were jealous?" Blaine inquired incredulously. "You were jealous so you lied to make me mad? I don't get you at all. All you do is lie."

"No! I lie when I want to piss you off. I'm honest when I want you to stay."

"Why can't you pick one? Do you want me to stay or go?"

"Both! You're around whenever I don't want you to be, which is always. I want you to think I don't want you because maybe you would stay away for once, but, I swear, you're like a glutton for punishment. The fuck if I know why you keep coming back."

"You want me? Really?" Blaine questioned sarcastically in disbelief.

"Yes. I want you."

"Then act like it."

"By doing what? Committing to you and you alone? By not trying to be nice and fighting every urge in my body to rip your clothes of, because that's what I truly want to do. All the time, I want you to shut your stupid fantasy driven mouth by shoving my dick in it and doing so much more. I think about it all the time. When I see you, when I don't see you, even when I'm having meaningless sex with someone I don't even know. I want you. I want you like a conquest because I see you like Mount Everest. I want to reach your peak so badly that after I've mounted you, I'll feel satisfied enough that all other conquests will feel so miniscule compared to you."

"What else?"

Kurt tried to turn his outward reactions around, but wasn't even coming close to doing it. He tried to turn away from Blaine, but only ended up huffing his breath and advancing on Blaine, getting extremely close to him. His body language was challenging as if daring Blaine to try to stand up to him further. He did this all the while speaking directly to his shorter conquest. "Fuck!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up. "I can't stand you, but all I want to do is press you up against the lockers and pound into you again and again until neither one of us can stand. Is that what you want to hear? Do you feel better now that you've psychoanalyzed me and read straight through my bullshit to see that I'm just a sex obsessed whore of a teen like most other guys?"

Blaine was now backed against the red lockers and didn't respond, but clenched his jaw and took a long languorous look at Kurt's lips to get his thoughts across. It was taking all of his courage to pull this kind of stunt off. He knew that if he were to get anywhere with Kurt, he'd have to be believably confident because that was the only way to get honesty out of Kurt. He didn't seem to be able to stay calm when someone was standing up to him or attempting to go toe to toe. Blaine's theory was proving to be right because He probably got more information out of Kurt in these past five minutes than he ever got from him since they met, which he still thought was strange since they had hooked up.

"Are you satisfied?" Kurt said loudly, putting his hands on either side of Blaine's head. The red painted metal was cold beneath his skin.

"Very."

This frustrated Kurt all over again and he pounded the metal next to Blaine. "Stop it!"

"Stop what?"

"This! This isn't you! No way did you make a Sandy-esque transformation this quickly after being so mad at me."

"Soooo- because I'm not acting shy and innocent, you're mad at me? I don't see you trying to throw down your best moves to try to get into my pants. So, the only thing I can deduce from all this is that I'm only worth something to you when you think that you are in charge and I'm just the bashful schoolboy that is too shy to ask you to take your clothes off, is that it? I'm a porno film come to life?"

"No! You're the opposite."

"Then what's wrong?"

"This! I don't want to want you. Can't you see that? Damn it. Why can't you just go away?"

"I have! I always go away. You're the one that keeps coming back! I'm just stupid enough to fall for whatever forgiveness scheme you throw at me!"

"What do you want from me?!"

"Kiss me."

"What?!"

"Kiss me. Kiss me and then tell me that you don't want to want me."

Kurt gulped. For about five seconds, he actually thought about it. He wanted to. So badly he wanted to hate kiss Blaine for making him feel this way. He banged the metal next to Blaine's head and grunted in frustration. He wouldn't. He couldn't… He didn't. Kurt backed away from Blaine and practically ripped the shirt from his hands. He slammed his locker shut and ran out the door with his shoes in his arms.

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**Please Review!**

**Tumblr: grace-ryan**


	10. Chapter 10

**Warning! Drug use** (I learned my lesson about putting warnings in my A/N after last time)

Sorry for the delay! I didn't have internet for a few days :(

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**Chapter 10**

For the rest of the week, it seemed as though things with Blaine and Kurt had gone back to normal. They weren't talking. That was their normal. The extent of their conversing went as follows:

_"I developed the photos. See if there's anything you want to replicate." Kurt said in a straight forward tone and plopping a pile of photos on his desk. He walked away instantly._

_Blaine quickly looked through the pictures and selected a couple. Then he turned in his chair and put the rest on Kurt's desk behind him. "Thanks," he replied._

And that was that.

Blaine spent a lot of the week on the phone with Eli, complaining about the nameless boy who drove him crazy and how he was done trying to put himself out there. When Eli had asked what this insane boy's name was, Blaine said it didn't matter because the chances of Eli ever meeting him in a friendly sense was slim to none. But then after Blaine said it, he had a nasty thought that since Kurt went through men so quickly, it was only a matter of time before Kurt met, seduced, and bedded Eli. He realized that was cruel and pushed the thought from his head. Also, he didn't want to imagine Kurt with his friend. Although, he wasn't sure whether it was because he didn't want to picture _Kurt _with anyone else or _Eli _with Kurt. Either way, there was a pang of jealousy in his heart when he thought it and it was a thought he did not want to have.

On Friday, Blaine looked down at his phone and saw that he got a text from Eli. He opened it up and a picture immediately starting downloading onto his phone. It was of Eli smiling wide with caption that said: **How do I look without braces? :P**

It made him smile back and he replied with: **Older. No braces suit you. You going to go smile at all the pretty boys tonight?**

**E: I'm already smiling at one, but it's just a picture. He's over at some rival school right now**.

Blaine laughed to himself, picturing Eli's sarcasm as he read his text.

**E: So, I got us a couple of fake Ids. I know a kid in the graphics club who's eerily great at forging them. Wanna go out to Scandals tonight?**

**B: The gay bar? You sure? What if we get caught?**

**E: If the doorman doesn't accept our Ids then he'll just turn us away and we'll go do something else. No big. One of my bosses at GAP says that underage guys show up all the time.**

**B: Really? And they just let them in?**

**E: Yeah. Something about business increasing when youthful looking hotties show up.**

**B: That's kind of gross.**

E: It is, isn't? Well, we don't have to do anything, but hang out with each other, so… you in? Please? I wanna celebrate my teeth's freedom.

He had to admit that he was more than a little curious about Scandals and it was mildly adorable that Eli was begging, albeit in a geeky, pretend way, but that was what made Eli funny.

Eli and Blaine dressed at Blaine's house because Blaine's parents were much less strict and controlling than Eli's. Eli's parents were always telling him what he could and couldn't wear, where he could and couldn't go, even restricting what he could and couldn't eat. Blaine had been to Eli's house once before he took him to boxing practice and saw that most details of Eli's life in his house were controlled. So, it made sense that Eli had a stash of hidden clothing in his bedroom and wanted to go to a gay bar.

The red-headed teen's parents were both very very strict religious people and his father was a militaristic manly man who took gender roles very seriously. Eli being gay was not something they talked about or condoned and he knew that so, he never told them. He knew they had their suspicions based on how he was never allowed to do anything they viewed as remotely feminine, but they never knew for sure because he never brought it up. They were the kind of parents that sent Eli away to bible camps every chance they got, never let him play video games, or listen to any kind of music that they didn't pre-listen to first. Also he wasn't allowed to watch movies that were rated over PG even though Eli was seventeen and legally allowed to watch rated R and NC-17 movies.

Whenever he spent the night at Tina's house, he told his parents that he was going to be spending the night at a friend's house. Since they needed specifics and to speak with his friend's parents, he enlisted the help of a friend from church. They would go as far as telling his friend's parents that Eli would be spending the night and then the friend would say that Eli had to cancel at the last minute. That would leave Eli free to be with his besties from McKinley High School. When Eli spent the night at Blaine's, their parents had talked and assured Eli's parents that Eli was sleeping in a separate room because Blaine's parents had rules of their own. Blaine's sexuality never came into a conversation because Eli knew his parents would put the kibosh on their friendship as well. It was a miracle that they let him go to public school instead of the private school that many of their friend's children went to.

Eli wasn't allowed to consume anything with caffeine in it and their house was void of most things that could be considered addictive. At least that's what Eli's mother thought because he found his father's secret stash of whisky and cigarettes in the garage. He also found a few porno magazines once in the attic that had pictures of barely legal looking women dressed as slutty nuns and slutty soldiers. It was then he realized that his father was into some really kinky shit and couldn't wait to use that against him one day when his dad went on one of his rants about how Eli was sinful and he had half a mind to send him to one of the reconditioning camps for gay people to pretend to convince families that they've changed. In all honesty, he really couldn't wait for that day to come because he knew his mother would flip and kick the shit out of his father. It's happened once before when he was a kid because he overheard his mother yelling things out and throwing pots and pans at his dad, while he used a couch cushion to block the flying objects. He really lived to imagine the day he could break free from his parents forever. He planned on secretly packing a bag the night before high school graduation, then after the ceremony, making out with a guy right in front of them, getting a tattoo of the gayest thing he could think of, piercing his right ear, and maybe even wearing fishnets and heels under his graduation gown just to see his father's vein pop out of his neck even more. _That would do the trick_, he thought. _They'd kick me out for sure and never want to see me again. That would be a good day._ He told all this to Blaine once and Blaine laughed saying that he was glad he never had to imagine something like that for himself. Especially since Blaine actually liked his own parents. Eli seemed to despise his own and loathed them for controlling every facet of his life. He ended the conversation with, "Everyone deserves to be free. The price for my freedom is family, but I don't want a family that wants me to hate myself."

He liked being at Blaine's house because Blaine's parents didn't seem to care that Blaine was gay. They supported him like a normal set of parents and let him live his life. It probably helped that Blaine was a good kid, who was motivated, got good grades, and stayed out of trouble.

Blaine had said that he never actually had to come out to his parents because they more or less just knew by the fact that he never was interested in girls. There was one time when they were at Disney World a couple summers ago and saw the way Blaine looked at a friend he made at the hotel pool. Both parents had gay and lesbian relatives and grew up being naturally accepting, which Blaine was grateful for. They cared about status, not about which gender their child was attracted to.

So, when the time came to get ready for Scandals, Blaine told his parents that they were going to a school dance. There actually happened to be a school dance at McKinley, so the lie was timed perfectly. Eli told his parents he was staying at Blaine's for the night.

Blaine dressed in light blue jeans and a white button down shirt that he left untucked and unbuttoned with a black tank top underneath.

"You look like a Backstreet Boy," Eli giggled.

"Is that bad?" Blaine asked.

"No, just not your look."

"Well, I don't know how to dress for one of these places."

Eli went digging through Blaine's clothes and pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans. "You have these and never wear them?"

"Cooper gave them to me. He says that everyone wears them where he lives. I don't think they're comfortable."

"They're perfect. Put them on." He threw the pants at Blaine and Blaine began to strip down once again. He then found a gray v-neck t-shirt that would go perfect with the pants and tossed that at Blaine as well.

When he was dressed, Blaine looked in the mirror and appraised himself. "Now, I look like you." Eli was dressed in a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a black crew-neck shirt.

"You may have my curls, but only a precious few can have this awesome hair color." The two laughed and headed out the door.

The fake Ids that Eli got worked perfectly. That or the bouncer really didn't care how old they were. On the way there, they agreed that, for tonight because it was their first time, they weren't going to drink. Maybe next time.

They hadn't been in there two minutes before Blaine was wide eyed surprised at the sight of Kurt on the dance floor. "Oh my god!" he exclaimed quietly, putting his hand on Eli's arm.

"What?" Eli tried to see what Blaine was seeing, but only saw a dance floor filled with gyrating men.

"He's here. Shit. Shit shit shit."

Kurt was pressed between two men who looked about to be in their mid to late twenties. He was smirking and apparently loving every moment of it. His arms wrapped around the men at different times, caressing them and occasionally kissing one or both. It made Blaine's stomach churn.

"Who's here?"

"Someone from school."

"One of those guys you caught in the locker room a few weeks ago?"

The memory refreshed itself in his mind and Blaine clenched his jaw. "You know that friend that I told you I was always arguing with?"

"The one that I said probably likes you?"

"Yes."

"He's here. He's also one of the ones that I caught in the locker room."

"Which one is he?"

Blaine didn't point, but gestured with a nod of his head towards Kurt. "See those three guys over there? The tall one in the middle draping himself all over the one behind him is Kurt."

"Tall, skinny, perfect hair?"

"That's the one."

"Oh my god, Blaine!"

"What?"

"That's the congressman's son. I didn't know he was gay."

"Yup. Closeted, kind of, too. He's teen royalty at McKinley and likes to make me madder than I've ever been in my life. Part of me wants to punch him in the face whenever I see him. Then I remember that-" He stopped himself because he was going to say that he remembers that he has feelings for him.

It didn't matter what Blaine was going to say though because Eli was focused solely on Kurt. "He's gorgeous."

"Can we not talk about him?" Blaine was looking at Eli as he gawked and appraised Kurt with adoring eyes.

"He's looking at you."

"What?!" Blaine jerked his head back to Kurt's direction. Sure enough, Kurt was smiling and flashing his bedroom eyes at Blaine. He gulped. That look still made him nervous no matter how comfortable or mad he was with Blaine. He'd never get over that look. He felt his heart begin to beat rapidly and he grabbed Eli's hand, towing him to the bar.

They ordered a soda each and sipped them while Eli kept a close eye on Kurt and Blaine tried to make small talk to no avail. Eli was just another victim to Kurt's charm and good looks. Blaine turned his back to the dance floor and idly played with the ice in his glass with his straw. The bartender flirted with him a bit, which was flattering, and that caught Eli's attention enough to pay more attention to Blaine.

A few songs later, Blaine felt hands slip around his middle and down one thigh, caressing him sensually. Lips drew to his ear and purred softly. "You could be my teenage dream when you wear these skin tight jeans."

Without needing to turn around, he knew who the voice and hands belonged to. He almost forgot he was mad at Kurt, when he did that. Almost. "Hi, Kurt."

They turned together, with Kurt still wrapped around him from behind, to face Eli. "Who's your friend?"

Eli blinked a few times, stunned into silence. "Kurt, this is Eli. Eli, this is Kurt," Blaine introduced. He hadn't forced Kurt's hands off of him for reasons he wasn't able to think of yet.

Kurt extended on hand from behind Blaine, his chin resting on the shorter boy's shoulder. "I've heard a bit about you."

Eli took the hand, entranced by Kurt's sensual voice. "I've heard almost nothing about you."

"That doesn't surprise me. We like to keep to ourselves, don't we, Blaine?"

"Kurt," Blaine warned, taking himself out of the lithe boy's arms and turning to him. "Can we have one interaction where I don't want to yell at you?" He had hoped that Kurt wouldn't continue because he really didn't want to explain the nature of their friendship thus far to Eli.

Eli couldn't take his eyes off Kurt. Blaine wasn't sure if it was because Kurt was attractive. But there was always the possibility of Eli being uncomfortable with Kurt's arms wrapped around him while Blaine rolled his eyes before Blaine took himself out of them. "The way Blaine tells it, he really only sees you in the locker room… A lot of you." The comment was meant to be a jab and Blaine picked up on that, but didn't know why Eli suddenly turned on Kurt when he didn't even know him. Sure, Kurt was a lot to handle, but he hadn't said anything bad to Eli. He only made the one cryptic comment about Blaine that Eli would never guess the meaning of.

Blaine eyed Kurt, who cheshired at Eli, accepting the challenge. "You mean when he walked in on me getting a blow job? I can see where you'd be curious about that because if I was the guy pining after Blaine and what you would view as competition walked over, I'd feel a little bit of jealousy too."

"Kurt!" Blaine warned again.

"What? I mean, I know you two haven't hooked up yet because I know Blaine well enough to know that he-"

"What is wrong with you?! Ugh!" Blaine grabbed Eli by the hand and pulled him away, towing him to the dance floor.

Eli looked back and saw Kurt, lounging against the bar and smirking again. He winked at Eli and Eli glowered. "What a creep," he said.

"Why did you do that? You challenged him. He's never going to let it go."

"He's creepy, Blaine. Just going up to you and hanging on you like that? Seriously gross."

"Thanks."

"No. I didn't mean you, or him, it was just that he hung on you like he had some sort of claim on you. You think I challenged him first, but he started it by hanging onto, what he probably thought, was my date. His etiquette standards are way low."

After Eli said it, Blaine knew he was right and let it go. "Come on, let's dance."

A couple hours passed and Kurt had left Blaine and Eli alone after their interaction at the bar. However, after a while, Blaine saw that Karofsky was there as well. Thankfully, he didn't make his presence known to Blaine at all. They spent their time dancing, kindly turning down the men that approached them. Mostly they were after Blaine, but a couple weren't very specific which one he wanted to cut in on. They came together and they were adamant with each other that they were going to stay together. That's when things were about to change.

They were at the bar laughing and drinking bottled water when Blaine overheard two men talking about someone who vaguely sounded like the very bane of Blaine's existence, Kurt. He glanced into the mirrored background to the bar and saw that the two men were the same men that Blaine saw dancing with Kurt for most the night. He listened in because he didn't like what he was hearing.

"You know, you really don't have to put that in his drink. I see him here a lot and it really doesn't take much to get him to put out," one man said.

"I know," the other man laughed. "I just think it's better this way. He'll do whatever I want."

"From what I hear, that's also not a problem. He's a freak, if you know what I mean."

Blaine turned his head again and looked into the mirror. He thought he saw one of them break open a pill capsule and pour it into a bright blue drink. His eyes went wide. He knew now that they were talking about Kurt and put the pieces together that the man put something in a drink meant for Kurt. Whatever it was, he didn't know, but anything that someone would keep secret in a drink wasn't good. By the time he got his thoughts together, the men were gone and he quickly scanned the room for Kurt. Only one, the man who put the powder into the drink, was headed right for him, drink in hand.

"Be right back," Blaine stated, not looking at Eli.

"Wait, where are you-"

Before Eli could complete his sentence, Blaine rushed over to the men around Kurt. They handed him the drink, which Kurt accepted with a smile. Just as Kurt put the drink up to his lips, "Kurt, don't!" Blaine yelled.

Kurt turned his head, looking annoyed, but his expression changed instantly once he saw it was Blaine.

"Don't drink that"

"Why?" He put the glass up to his lips again, thinking this was another game.

"No!" Not even thinking, Blaine took the drink from Kurt, spilling some on the floor, and downed as much of it as he could.

"What did you do that for?" Kurt exclaimed.

"He put something in the drink."

Instantly, Kurt looked at the man, believing Blaine without a hesitation.

"What the fuck! You little shit!" The man yelled at Blaine.

Several things happened right away in perfect succession. Kurt signaled his head to Karofsky, who came rushing over. Kurt physically moved Blaine out of the way by his shoulders and into Karofsky's arms. Eli thought this was a strange thing because he didn't know anyone in the group that Blaine was currently with so he ran over and touched Blaine's back to get his attention.

"What did you give him?!" Kurt demanded from the nameless man.

"I didn't give him anything. He took it of his own choice."

"What was in the fucking drink, you disgusting asshole?!"

"Roofies."

Kurt's blood boiled in that instant and his face changed. No one in all of Lima, Ohio would dare challenge a person with this much readable rage in their face. Kurt jumped on the man, surprising him, and knocking him over. He got as far as punching him in the face as hard as he could, breaking the man's nose, before Karofsky pushed Blaine into Eli's arms and physically picked Kurt up off the ground so high that his feet couldn't touch the floor.

Kurt was screaming vial things at the man, whose nose was now dripping blood profusely. "If you ever come here ever again. I swear. If I ever see you in any bar in this state, I'll call the cops."

"Get out of here," Dave commanded to the bleeding man. "Get out before I let him go."

"Let me go! I'll kill him!" Kurt screamed, fighting against the football player's strong arms. Dave was stunned that it was a struggle to keep Kurt locked tight while he thrash around to try to break free.

"Fucking psycho!" the man yelled.

"You're lucky you're not in jail, you sick fuck! I better not see your face again! I'll kill you! I'll kill you!"

"I said go!" Karofsky screamed over the music again. He was losing his grip.

Blaine didn't know what was happening. He knew he had just ingested a substance. He now knew he just downed a drink containing a date rape drug, but the effects hadn't kicked in yet, he didn't think. He still felt normal and people just kept passing him around and hugging him. Weirdest of all was Karofsky because they were barely friendly with each other, never mind in the state to touch each other. The only time Dave ever touched him was in the locker room weeks ago when he ran his index finger down his arm. Just one finger. That's it. Now, minutes ago, Karofsky held him gently around the shoulders like he was cradling him in a protective stance. Then he was placed him in Eli's arms. Eli was at least his friend and hugging seemed like an okay thing to do. He was feeling tired.

He looked over his shoulder at the screams he heard and saw Kurt flipping out in Karofsky's arms. Kurt was ravenous and like nothing Blaine ever thought possible. When the man finally left, Dave kept Kurt in his arms until Kurt calmed enough to the point Karofsky was confident Kurt wouldn't go running after the drug slipper.

"Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed loudly. He touched his shoulder and Blaine curled out of Eli's arms. "Blaine, are you okay?" Worry and franticness clouded Kurt's face. Almost, as if completely uninhibited, Blaine moved from Eli's arms and curled himself against Kurt, who wrapped his arms around him instinctually.

Everything seemed to be moving so slowly. Even when Blaine tried to move quickly, it was slow slow slow. "Yeah. I think so."

Kurt looked at the two teens in their party. "We need to get him out of here now before it kicks in any more. It'll only make it harder."

"I'll take him home," Eli stated, trying to take Blaine's hand.

"No." Kurt jerked Blaine tighter to his chest. "I'll take him back to my house and watch over him tonight."

"He came here with me," Eli snapped unconvincingly. He had nothing on Kurt's commanding presence. "I can take care of him."

"Do you even know what roofies are? Have you ever taken care of a drugged person before?"

"Have you?" Eli asked pointedly.

"Listen, little boy, I'm not going to argue with you while Blaine is the one in need. Go home. I'll take care of him. I'm sure his parents wouldn't appreciate their son coming home with Roofalin in his system and I'm positive your parents wouldn't like you bringing one home. His only option is to leave with me."

Blaine didn't say anything, his mind was starting to get a little cloudy. He was seeing what was happening, but was starting to feel like he wasn't a part of it. Like a ghost. He had enough capability to still function at this point so he reached into Kurt's pants pocket and pulled out his phone. Kurt let him go and stepped back, watching him intently to see what he was doing. Blaine punched in Eli's contact information from memory. "Call him," he said.

Dave slipped his arms around Blaine's shoulders again, this time from behind, and held Blaine's back against his chest. Blaine was surprised that Karofsky's touch didn't bother him now. He knew it would have felt strange before. Now it felt nice. Anyone's touch felt nice. Especially Kurt's. He want to be back in Kurt's arms. "He's right, Kurt. Keep calling- what's your name?"

"Eli," Blaine and Eli said at the same time.

"Call Eli throughout the night to give him updates. He should know what's going on and how Blaine is."

Oddly, Blaine smiled like he was proud of himself in a silly way for suggesting a good idea. Eli, on the other hand, was skeptical.

"We don't have a shit load of time to discuss this, Eli!" Kurt shouted, his impatience growing by the second. He wanted to just grab Blaine and take him without discussing anything with anyone. He just wanted Blaine safe and in a safe place while the drug runs it's course.

Eli pursed his lips and turned to Blaine. "Do you want to go with Kurt, or me?"

Blaine's eyes were now becoming droopy. "Kurt. I want Kurt." Everyone could see that Blaine's choice hurt Eli. When Blaine's eyes weren't closed, he was gazing at Kurt.

"Great. He made his choice. Now, let's go before he passes out on the floor." Kurt rushed forward and put one arm around Blaine's middle and Karofsky kept an arm around Blaine shoulders. It was an odd action because both boys were much taller than Blaine's short stature.

"You better call me," Eli demanded.

"We will," Karofsky answered for Kurt. "As soon as Blaine's settled in Kurt's house, we'll call."

"Let's go!" Kurt shouted even more impatient than before.

Eli followed them out and watched the two teens carefully help Blaine into the back seat of the car. Kurt handed his keys off to Karofsky, saying that he'd ride in the back with Blaine. Eli got in the way and crouched next to the open door, once Blaine was buckled in his seat. "You'll be okay, alright? I'll check in with you tomorrow." He reached for Blaine's hand and clutched it, feeling very worried and very upset.

"Eli!" Kurt scolded, wanting to get Blaine safe in his home as quickly as possible.

"Kurt," Karofsky soothed. He looked at Eli as Kurt pushed him out of the way and crawled over Blaine and into the backseat, slamming the door. "We'll call. Promise."

"Okay." Eli was close to tears, but didn't cry. He watched the threesome drive off and he ran to his car, wanting to get home quickly so he could spend the rest of the night waiting for Kurt to call.

"Is he going to be okay?" Karofsky asked, trying to keep his eyes on the road. He'd had a few beers, not enough to make him buzzed, but he still didn't want to get pulled over in a car that was in the name of the state congressman, with alcohol in his system, and a drugged teen in the back seat.

"He'll be fine. I don't think I saw him with a drink in his hand at all. That's good."

"What does it do?"

"Roofalin is a sedative and makes people less inhibited; that's why it's called the date rape drug… because people might do anything while on it. Some people fall asleep quicker than others. Blaine, I guess, is one of those people. It also causes drowsiness, confusion, memory loss, and a number of other things."

"That doesn't sound too bad."

"That's because he's in our hands and not a pervert," Kurt snapped aggressively. "He'll pass out eventually and be out for eight to twelve hours." He looked at Blaine, who was tucked under his arm and gazing up at him. Kurt began to speak to Blaine in a soothing voice, almost like he was cooing or coddling him. "You're going to wake up with the biggest headache of your life and not remember a thing about tonight. But, I promise, in the morning, you'll be safe. No one's going to hurt you. I'm going to be by your side the whole time." For the whole ride, Kurt had his hands on Blaine. He stroked his hair and rubbed his arms.

Blaine stared and tried to smile for most of the ride. He managed to murmur "you're so beautiful" and "safe with you" so quietly that only Kurt could hear him, but by the time they arrived at Kurt's house, Blaine's eyes were rolling behind his head.

"Oh my god, what's wrong with him?" Karofsky was starting to freak out at the sight of Blaine slumped over, unable to hold himself up, and the whites of his eyes showing.

"He's drugged, you idiot! He's passing out."

"What do we do?"

"For fuck's sake, K, we have to carry him inside. Use your head!"

Kurt helped Karofsky pulled Blaine out, but ended up falling onto his back with Blaine on top of him. He was out cold and dead weight. "Come on, Blaine. This is not how I pictured you on top of me for the first time." He knew Blaine couldn't hear him, but he didn't want to talk about him like he wasn't there. If he ignored him, then that meant he was losing control. He had to stay calm. Someone had to and he felt it had to be him. Blaine would be fine. He would. Nothing would convince Kurt otherwise.

Dave was able to sling Blaine over his shoulder like a back pack strap. Kurt walked behind them to make sure Blaine wouldn't slip off and hit his head. Together, they brought him into the house and downstairs to Kurt's bedroom. Carefully, Dave put him down on the bed.

"What should we do now?" Dave asked.

"You can go home. He's out cold and won't wake up for a while. I'll look out for him."

"You sure? Man, I feel bad just leaving."

"He'll be fine!" Kurt snapped. "Just go. There is nothing that you can do."

"Okay. Geeze. I get that you're worried. We all are."

"Don't. Don't even try to talk to me like you know what's going on in my head."

Karofsky put his hands in his pockets and looked down at Blaine, limp on the bed, his chest softly rising and falling as he breathed. "Sorry." He sighed, tired and a little overwhelmed with the situation. "Do you want me to stay with you? We can take turns watching him."

"No. Go home. I'll call you in the morning."

Karofsky sighed again. "Alright." He took his hands out of his pockets and itched his head. "Don't forget to call Eli."

Kurt inhaled deeply and rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah. _Him._" He licked his lips and put his hands on his hips. "Would you mind calling him and tell him what's going on? Tell him I'll call him when Blaine wakes up?"

"Sure. Yeah. I can do that. Wait. Wouldn't he rather hear from you? You're the one who's staying with him."

"I think, after how I continuously yelled at him and took his date away from him, I'm not his favorite person right now. If you talk to him, it would be a short conversation, and I'd rather just focus on Blaine, right now."

A small smile spread across Dave's face, momentarily forgetting about the situation they were in. "Like that's anything new."

"Karofsky…" Kurt warned, sounding very tired and easily annoyed.

He held his hands up defensively. "Okay. Okay." Dave took one last look at Blaine. "Make sure you call Eli when he wakes up."

"Yeah," Kurt said half heartedly with his eyes on Blaine.

After Karofsky left, Kurt carefully and as gently as possibly took off Blaine's shoes, socks, pants, and shirt. He left his boxers on. It was hard, but Kurt was able to finagle Blaine under the covers. He was nothing, but dead weight and didn't make a sound as Kurt moved him around the bed.

When he was finished, Kurt took everything, but his boxers off and slipped under the covers next to Blaine. He watched him sleeping, not wanting to miss a thing. He gently carded a hand through Blaine's hair, turning the beautiful boy's head towards his own. "You could have poured the drink on the floor, you know." He half smiled, unable to be mad at the sleeping boy next to him. His realization set in. Blaine drank the drugged drink so Kurt couldn't. This could have been Kurt, but in what condition? And with who? "What am I gonna do about you?" he sighed. He leaned forward and kissed Blaine's forehead and cheek. "Sweet dreams, Blaine." He brushed Blaine's lips softly with his fingertips and kissed them too.

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**Kurt sort of went a little balistic didn't he? I wonder how Blaine is going to react when he wakes up in Kurt's bed and doesn't remember a thing...**

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: Grace Ryan**


	11. Chapter 11

**Today is American Thanksgiving and since, I'm thankful for all of you awesome and amazing readers, I'm giving this to you. I'm sure you'll love it and I hope you laugh as much as you flail and squee. I did. :)**

**xoxo Grace**

* * *

**Chapter 11**

Blaine opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings and not remembering how he made it to bed. He scooched up onto his elbows and through the haze realized that he wasn't in his own room. He rubbed his eyes, knowing he also wasn't in Eli's room. He knew this room though. Then it hit him. He was in Kurt's room, in Kurt's oversized bed. _How did I get here?_ "Oooh," Blaine groaned, feeling like his head was about to explode. He dropped back down to the comfort of the bed.

The blankets ruffled next to him and he turned his head, now knowing he wasn't alone. He'd know that perfect head of hair anywhere. Kurt was stirring and facing away from him. He saw a bit of skin and realized Kurt wasn't wearing clothes. It was then he figured out he also wasn't wearing anything. He lifted the blankets and looked to make sure they weren't completely naked.

"I kept your boxers on," Kurt groggily murmured, stretching.

Blaine dropped the covers, startled. He really had no clue how he got here or why because the last he knew, he was still mad at Kurt. "How did I end up here?"

"Karofsky and I brought you here. What's the last thing you remember?"

"Fuck. I can't remember a thing. My head hurts. I know I didn't drink anything. Shit, why can't I remember?"

"Just try."

"Aren't we fighting?"

"I think we took a hiatus from that problem after last night." Kurt widened his expression, almost emphasizing to himself that he had no idea how to tell Blaine how thankful he is for what Blaine did. He also hoped he would believe him with no explanations. "It's going to sound bad, but I promise not to lie. Please try to remember anything you can."

Blaine searched through his foggy brain. "Um, dancing with Eli, I think." He suddenly remembered his friend and looked around the room. "Where's Eli?"

"At his house. You left with us."

"Why?"

Kurt sighed and curled himself closer to Blaine, which Blaine didn't hate, but wasn't sure why. He gulped, a little worried. "You were roofied last night."

"What?!" he exclaimed, then immediately touched his head because it hurt his head. He was surprised to find that Kurt's hand also flew to cover Blaine's head comfortingly. He was being nice. That was a strange concept to Blaine.

"Some asshole tried to drug me last night and you took the drink from me. For the life of me, I'll never know why you drank it yourself instead of dropping it on the ground."

"I did that?" It was odd, based on how mad Blaine was yesterday at Kurt, but he believed him. He knew he lied to him before, but it wasn't for anything like this. Kurt may have been mean, but he wasn't heartless.

Kurt smiled closed mouth. It was sweet. He brought his hand back up to Blaine's head and started playing with his hair that was now loose from the gel he had in it. "Yeah. You drank it so I wouldn't."

"That sounds like Tinkerbell and Peter Pan."

"Well, you are a fairy after all." The two boys laughed together and then laughed harder when Blaine groaned again in pain. Things became serious again when Kurt's expression changed. He looked a little pained. "You saved me. Who knows what could have happened to me if you hadn't over heard those guys."

"Are you going to tell me that I'm your hero?" Kurt rolled his eyes, still smiling, and groaned as he rolled on his back. "Go ahead. You can say it."

"I'm not gonna say it."

"Oh, come on. I saved you, remember? You're my hero. Say it."

"No."

Blaine moved closer, as close as he could to Kurt. "Say it. Tell me I'm you're hero."

Unthinking and caught up in the moment, Kurt rolled back onto his side and pressed his lips to Blaine's. He continued to roll until he was on top of the short brunette. His lips parted once and he leaned back. "Blaine Anderson, you're my hero."

Blaine found his head craning upward and connecting back with the other boy's lips. "Now was that so hard?"

"Excruciating."

Whatever this was between them right now, Blaine didn't want to jinx it. They were actually getting along and Kurt was being the sweet and kind person that Blaine always had hoped was inside him. He was just the perfect mixture of adorable and his cocky self. What was so wrong with Kurt being like this all the time? He seemed happy. Why would he want this to change? They kissed and laughed some more before Kurt stopped and simply looked upon Blaine like he was the most precious thing in the world. "I was so scared. Last night." He separated the two phrases. "I knew you would be okay, but…" The sound of Kurt gulping was audible to both boys. "You did that for me. No one's ever…" He was getting dangerously close to having a conversation he didn't want to have. "You can never know for sure how someone's going to react to something. I was so scared."

"You? Scared? Never." Blaine smiled and kissed Kurt freely again, trying to sooth him. He could never imagine Kurt scared. He wondered what that would be like. Then he thought that he didn't want to know.

"But I was. I'm mean to you. Cruel sometimes. But I never want to see you hurt or in danger." His hand brushed Blaine's face. "I can't begin to know how to thank you."

"This is nice. I like this." Blaine's hands held Kurt tighter around his waist and resting against his lower back, trying to comfort him.

Kurt leaned down once more and softly parted his lips to take Blaine's upper lip between his. He thought for a moment about what it would be like to have this all the time. To be happy and relieved and sure. If only things could be that simple. He licked at Blaine's lip and moved to fit their mouths together like two puzzle pieces. Their kiss was soft and with a large amount of ease as their tongues glided against each other.

Their kissing seemed endless and they were lost in each other. Their hands tenderly caressed skin. It was amazing what Kurt's chest against his felt like to Blaine. He'd never been this close to someone. Even the last time they hooked up, it didn't feel like this. Last time it was all action and this was all feeling and emotions. His heart swelled and his heart beat picked up even more.

Over time, Kurt started to make minute motions with his hips, gathering a small amount of friction on his increasingly growing member. The more he moved, the bigger he grew. It wasn't long before he was full on thrusting against Blaine, rutting his clothed cock in time with Blaine.

"W-w-wait," Blaine halted breathlessly. Kurt pulled back and looked at Blaine, their cheeks flushed a mirrored pink. "You don't have to thank me this way."

"Blaine, can't we have one moment where I don't want to yell at you?" Kurt mocked sweetly.

Blaine grinned. "I said that to you last night."

"I know." Kurt dropped his head and nudged Blaine's chin to the side with his nose.

Just as the luscious lips touched his neck, Blaine gently pushed Kurt away just enough to see his face. He wanted to look him in the eyes for this. "I mean that I don't want you to be acting like this because you feel you have to. I don't want you to think that hooking up with me is payment. I want you to want me with no reasons."

"You have no idea how badly I want you… but I'm afraid I have several reasons."

"Are any of them because you feel like you have to?" After the last time of Kurt accusing Blaine of making him feel like he was only good enough to be used for pleasure, Blaine wanted to make sure that whatever was about to happen was because Kurt wanted it to happen and not because he felt he had to.

A smirk grew on Kurt's face. "Does it count if any of those reasons are because you are utterly gorgeous, naked in my bed, and we're finally getting along?"

"Just don't do this for the wrong reasons okay?"

Kurt, feeling more comfortable than he'd felt a in very long time, anchored down onto Blaine's lips, released with a smack. "I'm the more experienced one by far and _you're_ the one trying to save my virtue."

"Would it make you feel better that the only reasons I'm not nervous as fuck are because my head is going to explode and I'm just happy that we're having this moment."

"You're happy?" Kurt asked with a tiny smile. It'd been years since he heard someone tell him that he made him happy. It warmed his heart.

"Very. Aside from the headache, I'd say that this was well worth the wait while being shit on all these weeks."

"Who knew all it took was for you to save me from potentially being molested or abused at a bar for us to get along." He couldn't help the smile on his face. He was actually happy. Truly and honestly happy.

"Don't forget the memory loss part. You could have made that whole story up and I wouldn't know any difference."

"Just so you know, I took your clothes off so you wouldn't overheat under the blankets. We didn't do anything last night."

"Why?"

The question struck Kurt as strange, especially for Blaine. "I like sex, but I'm not a rapist. You were passed out before we got here."

"But if I wasn't drugged. Let's say I was drunk. Would you have tried to be with me?"

"No."

"Why not?"

The look in Kurt's eyes changed. The pleading look was back. "I'm sorry I'm mean all the time."

It was enough for Blaine. He knew what it meant. Kurt had feelings for him in his own way, but wasn't able to express them. Whatever was keeping him from saying them, Blaine didn't know, but, for now, it was enough. They had this moment and he might as well let it run its course before it was over. He knew it would end despite wanting to stay here for as long as possible. He'd be a fool to think he could wake up and think things were magically different. "We'll work on our communication skills eventually."

"But not right now?" Kurt grinned.

"No. Not right now." Blaine smiled as his hand slid up to Kurt's neck and pulled him into a deep kiss that only grew in passion and intensity.

Kurt was as gentle as he could be because he didn't want to jostle Blaine's head around and cause him any more pain. Since the pain was kind of Kurt's fault to begin with, he wanted to make this as pleasing as possible. He nuzzled Blaine's head to the side and buried his face in the boy's neck and collar beneath him. He pecked and breathed every inch, taking his time. Then he rolled Blaine over and rubbed, caressed, and kissed every bit of his skin there as well. He was losing himself; he could feel it. It had been far too long since he had an interaction with someone like this. Any form of hooking up or sex with another person had been rushed and all about getting off. This was different. Blaine didn't seem to care how sexy, slow, kinky Kurt was; he only cared that Kurt touched him for as long as possible. It was more about the connection. And there was more than enough electricity running through them.

Blaine rolled himself over, laying on his side and motioning for Kurt to do the same by taking his hand and guiding him. He cupped the smooth skin of Kurt's cheek and loved the feel of Kurt's soft hair on his fingers as Kurt nuzzled into his palm. He drew his finger tips, lighter than feathers, down his bare arms, entwining their hands at the end, then bringing Kurt's hand up to his lips and kissed the hand, front and back. They didn't say anything. They went with whatever felt good in the moment. Kisses flew freely, increasing and decreasing in intensity as they went. Nothing was out of bounds in the realm of touching either. They rolled around the bed as they switched who was on top and when they just laid next to each other.

An hour must have gone by before Kurt positioned himself on top of Blaine, between his legs, and slipped his hand beneath Blaine. His left hand held Blaine as close as he could by pressing the middle of his back, while his right took hold of Blaine's ass. Both boys were harder than they'd ever been in their lives and their emotions were so high that one touch would make them come. Even Kurt, with his seemingly endless amount of experience, was moments from coming undone and knowing that he never felt like this. He never had this kind of connection before and that was something special because it was like being a virgin all over again. He'd never felt more vulnerable and exposed and he wasn't even completely naked.

Whatever this moment was, it wasn't hot; it wasn't steamy; it was beautiful. Their hips gyrated, both feeling the friction and moaning into each other's mouths. They were right there.

"Uhng!" Blaine whimpered in pleasure.

"Oh God, Blaine," Kurt returned. "Blaine. Oh, Blaine." He gave one last kiss to Blaine, putting added pressure onto the lip he had between his own, and came hard into his boxers.

Blaine wasn't far behind. He moaned one last time before ejaculate dampened his own boxers.

Out of breath and high off their emotions, they rested the sides of their faces together and clung to one another in a way that told the other that they didn't ever want to let go. Eventually, when their heart rates turned to normal and they caught their breath, Kurt rolled off Blaine and they simply stared at each other. Honey and ocean blue melted together as they swam for a surface to their unending bliss.

Another fifteen minutes of silence went by of soft touches and eye contact before Blaine finally spoke. Up until that point the had no words for what he was experiencing, but now that he was floating back down to earth, he found words. "You have no idea what you do to me," he said.

Kurt smiled, feeling truly happy. "I'm afraid I do because you do the same to me."

"Drive you crazy?"

They both chuckled breathily. "Yes."

"Why do you think we do this? Always fighting and making up by doing something ridiculously emotional; although, this one definitely beats them all."

"I can't tell you."

"Why?"

"I don't talk about it. Not many people know." He paused, linking their hands and letting their fingers dance. "It's something my dad and I have been trying to forget or work passed for while, but it's changed me. It's brought my dad and me closer, but…"

"But?"

"I can't talk about it."

"Your dad knows obviously, right? That you're gay?"

"Oh yeah. He's great about it. I thought he'd hate me, but he just held me and told me that he loved me."

"So, it's not the in the closet thing then, huh?"

"No. Though I don't say anything at school because he and I thought it would be best."

"Why?" Kurt stared at him and Blaine knew the topic was off limits. "Is what you won't talk about why you won't get into a relationship?"

"That's a big part of it."

"If your afraid, I'll hurt you-"

"No, Blaine." He looked at the boy beside him with his eyes pleading. "I don't want to talk about this. It'll end badly and, please," he begged, "I just want this moment. Can we just have this moment?"

Blaine looked into Kurt's eyes, searching for reasons and apologizing at the same time. His head nodded and Kurt pulled him close, holding him to his chest. "Is this the part where we go back to fighting?"

"I hope not."

"But we will, won't we? Whatever this is, whatever we did, it will be forgotten and things will go back to normal?"

Kurt closed his eyes, feeling his eyes begin to well up. This hurt so much. He wished he could be more for Blaine. He wished he could have this one thing to make him happy, but he genuinely believed that long term happiness wasn't for him. Anything that ever made him happy in the beginning always ended up ruining him more than the way he entered. If he continued to push Blaine away or continued to have their cat and mouse games as they did now, he could at least have these moments and keep them. Because if he lost Blaine horribly, he wouldn't be able to look back on these times with joy. He'd only see what he ruined and see what he'd lost and missed.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've done to hurt you and I'm sorry for everything I'll probably do in the future. I'm not meant for things like this."

"If you're not meant for it, then why are you so good at it? Why were _we_ so good at it? Kurt, I'll be honest, the only other experience I've had with this has been with you, but what just happened, the connection we had, I know you felt it too. It was the most amazing thing and I don't want to experience it with anyone else. I'd rather be fighting with you when this is our make-up than be with anyone else."

There was no answer. Kurt kissed Blaine on his head and nestled back into place. Blaine craned his head to look him in the face and saw that this was a moot point that wouldn't be solved today. "Sorry. You said you didn't want to talk about it. I shouldn't have continued. No matter how many times I ask the question, I can't keep asking, expecting a different answer. You've said no more than once to me. Maybe we fight because I can't take no for an answer."

"No, Blaine. Don't blame yourself. We fight because I'm an asshole. I'll always be an asshole and I'm sorry I can't give you what you want."

"Can I asked one more thing?"

"I'll try to answer it as best I can."

"What we did was perfect, but how come you didn't try to… to… do more?"

"More?"

"Like-" Blaine was blushing now. "-try to have sex with me, or something." His face turned a proper rose color.

"Is that what you wanted?"

"No. I mean yes. I mean-" he licked his lips, blushing further still, and stumbling over his words. "It was perfect. I wouldn't have changed it. I obviously didn't plan it."

"I didn't either."

"I know. You seemed different. Last time you were so…" Blaine's eyes shifted, trying to find the right word. "I don't know."

"Pushy? Enthused?"

"I don't know. I'd never done those things before, so I didn't have anything to compare it to."

"I was pushy. That's sort of my game. You said it meant something to you, but I wasn't even trying to make it special. I'm sorry. I was going for raunchy and sexy. I can see your confusion with the differences between this time and last time."

"I guess I want to know, which one was real?"

"Both. But I guess, after last night, I'm not planning on making you want to leave. I don't know, maybe I'm testing my limits by letting things happen instead of forcing what I think should happen."

"Did you want me to leave that night?"

"No."

"Then why did you-" he stopped himself. He knew the answer. "I know why. It's the same reason why you keep trying to reel me back in, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Do you want me to leave now?"

"No."

"Then when?"

"All the time and never."

"Hmm," Blaine pinched his lips together and thought.

"Now can I ask you a question?"

"Anything."

"Why do you keep coming back? I treat you worse than anyone and I know how to hurt you, but you continue to let things like this happen. Why? I certainly don't always deserve your forgiveness."

"You know why."

"Because you want to be my boyfriend."

"No. That's not it. Maybe it's a little bit of wanting what I can't have, but mostly it's because I know that this is who you really are. Even when you were your meanest, I remembered the guy who saw straight through me the first day we met and stood up for me. You're brave. I can see you're fighting something inside you. You have the ability to be kind. You treat me like crap, not because you're selfish, but because you think me not being in your life is what's best for me. I know that much."

Kurt was taken way back by the amount of things Blaine saw in him. He thought that being mean to Blaine was pushing Blaine away, but it was only bringing him closer in the long run. Maybe he was more transparent than he thought. "And if I don't change? What if I keep being a dick and ruining moments like this?"

"I'm onto you. By now I know your game. I'm hardly ever mad at you because of what you said. Mostly it's because it makes me feel like you're giving up and I know you're stronger than that. Also, it makes me feel like you don't trust me."

"But I don't trust anyone. Not the way you want me to trust you. I trust you with not telling everyone I'm gay. I trust you in that sense, but I don't trust anyone in the relationship sense." Suddenly, Kurt felt like he'd just revealed too much. He broke eye contact and looked down.

Blaine got the hint that this was out of bounds territory again and he needed to stop asking those questions. "I keep coming back because you make me feel like a man and a child at the same time. I have these feelings for you that I can't control and I don't even know if they have words for them. Whether I can't stand you or can't get enough of you, I always feel an ache all over my body that just needs to be expressed somehow.

"I know what you mean." Kurt half smiled. "When you asked me to kiss you and I ran away, I felt the same thing."

"So, if I asked you to kiss me now, would you run this time?"

Kurt smiled, happy that Blaine knew enough to try to let the conversation go. He had to give the boy a lot more credit. "Why don't you ask me and find out?"

Blaine returned the smile and moved a little closer. With a coy expression he asked "What if I asked you to do something else?"

Right as Kurt leaned in to kiss Blaine, Blaine's phone exploded to life. Blaine groaned, suddenly remembering that his head hurt more than it ever had in his life.

"I'd say you had to answer your phone first." Kurt reached over to his nightstand for Blaine's phone and handed it to him.

Blaine answered the call and right away, his mother's voice was screaming through the receiver. "Where the hell are you Blaine Devon Anderson?!"

"Oh my God, Mom, I am so sorry. I thought I called you. I'm sorry. I got caught up with friends and I honestly thought I called you. I'm sorry." The lie was spilling from his mouth so effortlessly.

"Where are you?"

"I'm at Kurt Hummel's house. After the dance, he invited a bunch of us over for the night. We stayed up watching movies and eating junk food. My trainer's going to have a field day."

"Oh. Well." Her tone changed. Blaine knew that saying he was at the Hummel house would be the key thing to say. "Congressman Hummel's house or not, you should have called. You have no idea what it's like for a parent to wake up and see that her child is missing."

"I know, Mom. I'm sorry. I completely spaced. It won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't. If you were anywhere else, I think I'd have a conniption and ground you for a month."

"Thanks mom. I'm sorry again."

"When are you going to be home?"

"Kurt and I wanted to work on our project for art class, so I'll let you know."

"You better call. No excuses this time."

"I promise." When he ended the call, Blaine dropped his head back to the pillow. "How come your voice doesn't hurt, but hers does?"

"Mine is better," Kurt joked, leaning in to kiss him again. No sooner than when their lips touched, Kurt's phone sprang to life too. They both groaned. "I'm going to hurt someone." He grabbed his phone and saw the name. "And the person I'm going to hurt is Eli."

"He's calling?"

"More like cock blocking." The phone rang again and Kurt handed it to Blaine. "You'd better answer it. He's not my biggest fan."

Blaine took the phone and answered it. "Eli?"

"Blaine?"

"Hey. How's it going?"

"I was going to ask you the same question. Are you okay?" The boy on the other end of the phone sounded frantic, yet relieved to hear Blaine's voice.

"Yeah. Fine." Kurt leaned forward and nudged Blaine onto his back. He started nuzzling his face against Blaine's chest. "Other than having the biggest headache of my life and being told that I was roofied, I'm great." His back arched at the feel of Kurt's lips tickling his chest hair, but made no motion to make Kurt stop.

"I was so worried. I wanted to go with you, but Kurt wouldn't let me. He's kind of an asshole. He didn't try anything did he?"

Kurt closed his lips around Blaine's right nipple and it took everything Blaine had not to moan into the phone. "Eli, that's really mean. He took care of me last night."

"Aren't you, like, mad at him or something?"

"You do realize you're talking smack about him on his phone, right? And you don't even know him." Kurt looked up from his ministrations and rolled his eyes before starting to make his way under the covers. Clearly he could hear everything Eli was saying on the other side of the phone.

"He was creepy and demanding."

Kurt's hands and lips were now massaging the skin around his hips, where his V-muscle was most prominent. His breath hitched and his voice caught. "Okay, well, this conversation is over."

"Woah. Okay. Hold on. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this phone call to go this way. I meant to ask if you were all right."

"I'm fine." He was bothered by what Eli was saying about Kurt, but mostly he was antsy to get off the phone because of what Kurt was doing. Kurt was trying to keep the attention on Kurt. That was expected. Also, it was painfully obvious that neither Kurt nor Eli liked each other. Blaine wondered what Eli would think of him if he knew what he was doing now. Or had done.

"You're sure? Because I can come pick you up and take care of you at your house."

"I don't need to go home. I'm fine where I a-am." His voice stuttered and broke because Kurt began to suck a hickey into Blaine's left hip. He couldn't help, but be nervous and turned on.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. I gotta go."

"Wait. Are we okay? I'm sorry."

Blaine was more annoyed than anything right now because, while he was trying to be understanding that Eli was just trying to be caring, he was unknowingly being, as Kurt said, a cock block. "Yeah. Sure. We're g-great." Kurt had moved down to Blaine's inner thigh and started sucking another hickey there.

"You sound really weird. Are you sure everything is cool?"

"Yup. Everything's cool. I'm unharmed and we're cool. C-Can I call you later?"

"Yes. Again, I'm really sorry."

"Apology ac-cepted. Gotta go. Bye." He ended the call and tossed the phone across the bed. He lifted the covers and pushed them down pasted Kurt's head. Kurt just looked up and smiled, feeling triumphant. "Why did you do that?"

"Because I'm a jerk?"

Blaine sighed, clearly not mad at Kurt in the slightest. "You are a jerk. You know he called you an asshole, right?"

"I may have continuously yelled at him like he was a moron. I would say that asshole is an accurate portrayal."

"I get that your jealous, but is all that necessary? He _is_ my friend. The kind of friend that I'm not constantly fighting with."

"Number one, I'm not jealous because _I'm_ in bed with you right now and you're not even remotely attracted to him. And number two, you were fighting with him just now on the phone."

"About you! And you are too jealous. He gets my attention when you don't and that drives you crazy. If it didn't then you wouldn't have started to do this when he called and you wouldn't have hit on me in front of him last night."

"I would too. I'd hit on you in front of your parents if I thought it'd be funny. Are we fighting again?"

"I think so?"

"Can we skip it and go straight to the make up part?"

Blaine smiled.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Shiiiiiiiit," Kurt groaned. "Is the universe really trying to tell us something or what?"

"Kurt?" Burt Hummel yelled down the stairs.

"Yeah, Dad?" Kurt called back.

"Is it just me, or do you have someone down there with you?"

Kurt clenched his jaw and scrunched his face. "Fuck," he whispered. "No, someone's down here."

"Do you think you two can get dressed and join me for breakfast? I actually made something for a change. It smells good."

"I'm proud of you, Dad. Thanks for choosing today to make breakfast. It's not awkward at all."

"Bring him upstairs. I want to meet him." There was the sound in his voice that he was smiling and planning on making this as uncomfortable as possible.

"Yup. Be right up." He huffed and groaned into his pillow, thoroughly embarrassed. Blaine started laughing. "I'll get you some clothes. I'm sure you don't want to do the walk of shame in front of my dad." He got out of bed and slipped off his boxers, letting them fall to the floor.

Blaine stared, knowing that Kurt was doing this on purpose. "You know, you're not helping my boner go down."

The naked boy smiled over his shoulder. "If it did, we'd have a problem." Kurt sashayed over to a bureau and pulled out two pairs of boxers, two pairs of lounge pants, and two white t-shirts. He brought them over to the bed and stood, stark naked, showing full frontal at Blaine and smirking. "I'd say I'd take care of that, but I promised my dad we'd have breakfast with him soon."

"I hate you."

Kurt grabbed the blankets and ripped them off Blaine. "I know. Think of doing all this with Eli and that gorgeous, yet wonderfully huge cock of yours should go down."

Blaine got up off the bed and took the clothes Kurt got for him. By now, he had no reservations with taking his clothes off for Kurt. He'd seen plenty in the locker room and he had blown him before. Nakedness was now acceptable in this stage. "I told him to stop and now I'll tell you to stop."

"Does he have any clue that you're out of his league?"

Blaine pulled on the boxers and tugged the t-shirt over his head. "He does not have feelings for me."

"Sure thing. No guy who doesn't want to bone someone apologizes that much for making one comment immediately after he says it."

"We're just friends."

"You and I are just friends and we make passion look effortless."

"Believe me, being your friend is _not_ effortless."

"I know. It's the make up passion we have. We don't agree on much, but what we do agree on makes up for everything else."

"And what do we agree on?"

Both boys were fully clothed now. Kurt pulled Blaine's waist to his hard and held him tight. "That you are incredibly sexy and I can't wait to make up with you later."

"We don't agree on that."

"Then why don't we fight about it over breakfast and make up afterward?"

Blaine couldn't help but laugh as he followed Kurt upstairs for breakfast.

* * *

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**

**Happy Thanksgiving to those who are currently celebrating it!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Blaine peeked around the corner at first, following Kurt into the dining room with plates of food already set on the table.  
"Dad, you did all this?" Kurt asked, sounding impressed.  
"Yep." Burt Hummel stood up and faced Blaine. For a congressman, he didn't seem political and scary. He was dressed in jeans and a flannel with a baseball cap on his head. He extended his calloused hand, worn from years of manual labor that he did previous to being a state congressman. "You must be Blaine."  
"Yes. Um. Sir." Blaine stammered and shook the oversized hand.  
"Call me Burt." He clapped Blaine on the back, trying to make him feel welcome.  
"How did you know he was Blaine?" Kurt inquired.  
Burt eyed his son narrowly. "You had a boy sleep over in your bed, which is against the rules. Don't test me. If it wasn't Blaine, I'd be forced to think that you throw yourself around, something we've also talked about."  
Kurt averted his eye contact. His father was the only other person besides Blaine who could remind him that his actions were shameful in his eyes. Blaine also didn't look at Kurt because he didn't want to make him think that Blaine thought something bad about him.  
"Just tell me that you two… took… _precautions_." He tried to remain confident and in control of his plan to embarrass his son, but as a father, he was mildly uncomfortable with his son being active in his house.  
"We didn't have sex, dad!"  
"Honest!" Blaine added. "Clothes stayed on. Just sleep." It was mostly true.  
"Uh-huh. Good to know. Let's eat," Burt suggested.  
Breakfast continued and for as much fun as Blaine was having, Kurt spent most of his meal either looking down, or protesting to Burt about the things he was saying. Burt was doing a thorough job of embarrassing his son. Blaine loved the stories of Kurt as a kid with tassels on his bicycle and tea parties with playdough pastries.  
"Did you really ask for a sensible pair of heels for your third birthday?"  
"I don't remember. Sounds like something I would ask for." He smiled at Blaine as he lead him upstairs, where Blaine hadn't seen before. "Though I still haven't gotten them." They laughed. "I have something to show you." Kurt opened the first door they came to on his right. It was an office. There were the normal things like bookshelves and a desk, but the thing that made it special were the walls. The walls were covered, like wallpaper, with photographs. More were on open spaces on the bookshelves and under a glass top on the desk.  
"I don't think my house has this many pictures in my entire house," Blaine said.  
"You have no idea how long it took me to put these all up when we moved in."  
Blaine took a closer look. Some were of people and some were of objects. Others were landscapes. "Where did you get these?"  
"I took them."  
"_You_ took these?" The short brunette was astonished because the quality looked so high.  
"One of my hobbies. I told you I had a good camera. Dad built me a dark room in our old house so I could develop them myself."  
"Wow. So you are a great photographer and you can paint. Anything else?"  
"How did you know I could paint?"  
"I've seen you working at the easels in class."  
"I didn't know you were watching me."  
Blaine blushed a slight pink and grinned bashfully. "I used to be able to complete a project in one class period. Now it takes me one and a half. Almost two."  
The smile Kurt already had was spreading wider. "Are you looking at my work, or me?"  
"Which one sounds less creepy?"  
A light chuckle left Kurt's mouth. He was doing a lot of smiling and laughing today. Much more than a normal morning, or day usually allotted. "I have more." He opened the drawers to the glass topped desk and sure enough, there were perfectly organized and catalogued photographs. Out of curiosity, Blaine thumbed through the different labels. _New York, Boston, D.C., India, Paris, Fashion, McKinley_. There were lots of different tabs for different things. He pulled back the McKinley folder and pulled out a few dozen photos.  
"You're really good at this."  
"I like shots where people don't know that they're being photographed."  
"I can tell. It's like…" Blaine paused, examining a group of girls laughing, but the focus was on just one of the girls. "… You can almost hear them laughing."  
Kurt smiled. He had long been obsessed with the idea of being able to capture pure emotion. Some people can easily and believably fake it, but when it's truly real, there's no denying what someone is feeling. He was glad to see that someone else understood. Though, Kurt's nerves grew because he knew Blaine was coming up on a certain one that Kurt had taken last week.  
Blaine continued to flip, liking some photos better than others. Then he stopped. For about fifteen seconds, Blaine was frozen. For twenty seconds more, he was speechless. He had stopped on a photo of himself. He was sitting on the bleachers in the pool area, sketching. He knew this came from last week when they started their project. "I didn't even know you took this."  
"I know. I had just walked in and there you were… the perfect subject."  
Whether is was flattery that Kurt thought him perfect, or nerves that crept up on Blaine again, for the first time in a long time, he wasn't sure. It was a complicated thought process for Blaine, that a simple photo taken without his knowledge could drum up the emotions he was feeling. It didn't mean anything, the photo, because he was one of dozens of subjects. But the other side of the matter meant volumes because in this one instance, for a single second, Kurt thought Blaine was perfect _enough_ to want to keep. No. Not just perfect enough. Just perfect. Period. He put down the photos and chewed on his bottom lip before looking back up to Kurt. "What you asked before, about me looking at you in class? I'm mostly watching you, but occasionally take a long enough glance at your work to know it's good. I can be so angry with you and be stubborn enough to ignore you, but I can't stop myself from staring when you think I'm not looking."  
There was a quiet stirring of electricity between them. If not for anything else, Kurt had forgotten there was anything else in the world, but Blaine and his expression mirrored it. Without giving it a second thought, Blaine cuffed a hand behind Kurt's neck and pulled him into a kiss. It was heated and needy. Their tongues wasted no time tangling themselves up together while their hands grasped to hold each other closer and tighter. Blaine inhaled a deep breath through his nose, giving Kurt the sensation that he took Blaine's breath away.  
Kissing Blaine was always an exhilarating feeling. It sent waves and waves of emotions through Kurt that he couldn't explain, understand, or give words to.  
"Ahem." Burt cleared his throat from the doorway. The boys jumped apart instantly. Kurt looked shocked and at a loss for words at his father. Blaine just avoided eye contact and wiped his mouth with his hand. Burt looked from one boy to the other, not completely comfortable to be seeing his son making out with someone, but happy that he had another opportunity to embarrass his son. "Kurt did you say that Sectionals is next weekend or the weekend after?"  
Kurt blinked, still stunned into silence. "Um. The weekend after."  
"Perfect. Listen, I can't come home next weekend, so what do you say to flying out to D.C.?"  
"Sh-sure. Sounds good."  
"You too Blaine."  
"Huh? What?" Kurt and Blaine said together.  
"Ever seen the nation's capital, Blaine?"  
"Uhh, no. I've barely been out of Ohio, Sir."  
"Then you should come along with Kurt then. He could use the company."  
The boys eyed each other quickly. After hearing Kurt's next comment, Blaine knew that they were thinking two completely different things. "Dad, I really don't think that Blaine-" The shorter boy wasn't sure if the end of that sentence was going to be 'should go' or 'wants to go.'  
"Nonsense," Burt said, interrupting his son. "You have plans that weekend, kid?"  
"N-no. No, Sir, I don't."  
"Then it's settled. I'll talk to your parents tonight." He turned and smirked all the way back downstairs. He'd help his son get out of his own way if it killed him. Also, it was well worth seeing them both tremble in fear.  
Kurt swallowed audibly, still looking at the door.  
"I can see how no one can say no to your dad," Blaine admitted awkwardly to break the silence.  
"You don't have to come if you don't want to."  
"Why wouldn't I want to?"  
"D.C. is really boring."  
"I doubt that. Not with all the history. And I doubt it'll be boring when you have company."  
Kurt's facial expression and body language physically changed. The sweet, gentle, adoring Kurt from this morning was gone. "I always have company, if you know what I mean."  
"Well, that lasted a lot longer than I thought. You're back to being an ass and trying to push me away, I see. If you don't want to me go, just say so."  
"I don't want you to go."  
"Too bad. Now I want to go more than ever because if not for anything else, it'll bug the shit out of you."  
Kurt sighed, annoyed. "Does this mean that I have to be nice to you for a full two weeks?"  
"It would make a record, wouldn't it?"  
Kurt gritted his teeth, clearly unhappy with the situation. "Is there anything that would make you not want to go?"  
No matter what, he would stick to this if it killed him. He would give Kurt a taste of his own medicine. For once, he felt he had the upper hand and could drive Kurt insane. A very large part of him liked it. It even excited him. He smiled. "Nope. I'm on to you. I know what you do to push me away now. It's all a lie and a rouse. The more you try to piss me off, the more I know what's really going on."  
"And what's really going on?"  
Blaine knew to choose his words carefully. He couldn't say that Kurt had feelings for him because that would definitely not get him any closer to winning Kurt's heart. "That you can't get enough of me."  
Kurt smirked and closed the gap between them, flashing his bedroom eyes. "Are you sure about that?"  
The look never failed to send a jolt of life to Blaine's groin. "Mmhmm." He looked longingly at the soft pillows for lips in front of him and he remembered that he was supposed to be nervous. He wasn't though. Blaine felt more of a hesitant feeling, one that made him know that as wonderful as this morning had been, it wouldn't last. If Kurt could switch back to pushing him away so easily, then he could just as easily go back to being cruel for the sake of his own self protection. Blaine may have known how to decipher Kurt's hidden meaning for being mean, but that didn't mean that Blaine could stand it forever. "I can prove it."  
"Oh yeah?"  
He wanted this day to last as long as it could. If that meant that Blaine would spend the day succumbing to his primal feelings- he mentally grinned- there were definitely worse ways he could imagine spending it. Slowly, very slowly, he tilted his head up and protruded his head forward, but stopped just short of touching Kurt's lips. He waited for Kurt to lean in the rest of the way, knowing that Kurt would close the smallest of gaps between them and proving his point that the taller boy could not resist taking another kiss. His suspicions were correct and he wasn't waiting long.  
Kurt nudged Blaine's pouted lips with his own before retreating.  
"See?" Blaine encouraged.  
"You kissed me."  
"No. I stopped and you came the rest of the distance to kiss me." They both knew Blaine was right, but Kurt narrowed his eyes anyway.  
"How's your head?"  
"Still hurts, but it's marginally better." He began to play with the hem of Kurt's shirt, attempting to be cute and sexy at the same time. "I forget about it when I'm kissing you."  
Kurt watched Blaine continue to finger his shirt and wanted to lock his lips to him and then some at the mention of kissing. The curly haired boy had a hold on him that soothed the innate instinct to push him away. The two things he wanted most right now was to gag himself senseless on Blaine's dick and to find Blaine's emotional weak spot and drill a whole there so badly that he would never even look at Kurt again. But he knew that he couldn't have both. He'd have to choose. Since his father would never drop his plan to bring Blaine with them to D.C, he knew being the meanest he'd ever been would be a bad idea. Blowing Blaine with the chance of his father being caught could also be a bad idea, but he was an eighteen year old boy and his hormones would almost always win out. "Wanna go back down to my room?"  
"Yes." The response was instant. The curly haired boy began to step toward the open door.  
"Wait." Kurt stopped Blaine and moved in front of him. He peeked out into the hallway. Satisfied that he could hear a game playing on the flat screen downstairs and see no one upstairs, he backed up and shut the door. "First things first," he said as he grinned devilishly. "Can you be quiet?"  
"Why?"  
"Because I don't want my dad to hear anything and interrupt us while I suck your dick." The sentence was said as if he were saying something as normal as what he had for lunch yesterday.  
"You have a dirty mouth for someone who supposedly doesn't throw himself around." _Two can play this game_, he thought.  
"I'm about to throw myself at you in a second."  
"Here?"  
"First here, then again in my room if I'm not satisfied."  
"And what about what I want?"  
"I'll let you know when I'm open for options." He launched himself at Blaine, attacking his lips furiously.  
Blaine, not wanting to give Kurt the upper hand just yet, held tight to his wanton lover and swept his leg behind him, literally sweeping Kurt off his feet. He caught him on his way down like a damsel in distress and gently lowered him to the floor. "I'll let you know when I'm open for options," he seductively repeated back to Kurt.  
"You know you've only done this once."  
"And I recall you saying that my skills were impressive."  
"For someone who'd never done it before," the cocky teen finished.  
"Do you want to be suck off or not?"  
"By all means." His hand flourished as if to say 'you may continue.'  
Blaine chuckled lowly in his chest voice and lowered himself. He pushed up Kurt's t-shirt and started kissing and mouthing his hips and abs. Since the first time he hooked up with Kurt happened, he started to pay closer attention to how the men did things in the online porn he watched. He knew most of it was fake and geared more towards the viewer than the person who was actually receiving the pleasure, but at least some part of it had to be based off of real pleasures, right? Teeth dragged up creamy skin and Blaine found out just how sensitive Kurt's nipples were once he spent five minutes on each one, sucking, licking, flicking his tongue on them, and gently rolling them between his teeth. The sounds Kurt made were enough to even get Blaine off and he wasn't even being touched at the moment. "Shh," Blaine purred. "Wouldn't want your dad to hear and interrupt us."  
"Can you not mention my dad at a time like this? Mentioning family members while I'm picturing this leading to fucking is an instant boner shrinker."  
"Point taken. Guess I'll just have to work harder then."  
"Please do."  
"But seriously, you should probably lower your volume."  
"Fine. Now shut up and kiss me."  
"You're pushy, but I'll give in this one ti-" Blaine was cut off by Kurt taking hold of his shirt and yanking him to his lips.  
It was obvious that Blaine's hair needed to be washed because it was still rough in some patches, despite the gel having been worn off during the night. Kurt didn't care about this fact because he still reveled in the feel of ringing his fingers through the stiffness. In a surge of passion, he rolled to his left and pinned Blaine to the carpet. For as strong as Blaine was, nearly twice that of Kurt, it was a losing battle as he grappled happily and wrestled with his quick and agile counterpart. Finally, with a grin that of a chesire cat, Kurt had Blaine on his stomach beneath him.  
Downstairs, Burt cocked his head up and to his left. He heard scuffling in the distance above him. He decided to let it go because Kurt was probably moving things around in the closet to show Blaine. He was amazed how his son even fit everything in that closet to begin with. With his eyes transfixed on the television again, the scuffling stopped and he thought himself correct while he lost himself in the football game on the screen in front of him.  
Kurt had lifted Blaine's hips, encouraging him to move up to his hands and knees, which he did gladly. He didn't know what Kurt was going to do, since they were still both fully clothed, but his excitement and anticipation was growing just as fast as his arousal. He moaned gruffly with his mouth closed as he felt Kurt's hips push up against him and begin to grind.  
He was in no rush, but he could only imagine being naked in this position with Blaine, plowing into him again and again, causing the teen dream to have rug burns on his knees and moaning un controllably. The thought propelled him more and he leaned down to embrace Blaine from behind and lift his torso enough to give him the idea to be upright on his knees the way Kurt was. It was a successful move and he dropped his hand into Blaine's pants and underwear. He wanted to hear those sounds again and knew exactly how to get them. "God, you're so fucking huge," he said, stroking Blaine in time with his gyrations.  
Blaine could feel Kurt's bulge protruding and rubbing against his ass. Part of him wished there was less clothing between them, but another part of him wondered if he were ready for that. The rest of him didn't particularly care about being ready or not, he just wanted to continue feeling this close to the edge with Kurt. He wanted more. He wanted it all. "Oh God, Kurt."  
"Say my name again." The fair skinned beauty loved hearing his name on Blaine's lips. It drove him wild.  
"Kurt. Kurt. Oh fuck, Kurt."  
"Now who's got a dirty mouth?"  
Blaine licked his lips and managed a sound similar to "Mmph."  
"Who do you want?"  
"You. Always you."  
"Anyone else?"  
"No." He winced. "You. Fuck. Uhng. Kurt I'm close."  
Kurt was thankful for the warning because he wasn't done with his new favorite toy. He slowed his hand and hips to a stop and wrapped his arms around Blaine's torso. He kissed his neck and scratched down his chest and abs. "You are so incredibly sexy."  
"Why did you stop?" Blaine asked out of breath and now aching from the loss of contact to his cock.  
Hands slid down the shorter boys sides and slid into his pants that stopped at the thumbs. "Do you know what a rim job is?"  
"Y-yes."  
"Ever wonder what it feelings like?"  
"Is that what you want?"  
"No, my darling, the question is: is that what _you_ want?"  
"I just want you."  
An even slier smile spread across Kurt's face. He would do this for Blaine and prolong the agony for Blaine a little longer. And it would drive Blaine wild and make Kurt happy to see him writhing and trying his best not to scream. He pushed his hands down further, pooling the fabric on Blaine down to his knees. "Hands and knees, handsome."  
Blaine did as he was told and braced himself, not knowing what this would feel like, but wanting Kurt's touch so badly.  
"You're going to love this." He massaged Blaine's ass at first, spreading it and appraising his achievement thus far. Weeks and weeks ago, Blaine was just a face he saw across a cafeteria. He became both a conquest and a test of Kurt's, both wanting and despising him in kind. Now, he was able to do two things he loved, treat Blaine anyway he pleased and still be able to have these moments with him. Not to mention, Blaine was a virgin to all things sexual and that was the crown on top of the queen. He could do whatever he pleased to Blaine and Blaine would only be begging for more. To the monster inside him, all this made him feel king. To the real Kurt, who was hidden inside right now, it made him feel conflicted because he really did want Blaine. He loved how he trusted him so easily, but didn't like how easily Blaine let himself be treated so badly. He cared about him on a certain level and knew how dangerous that could be for himself and for Blaine. Kurt knew how badly this could end and how hurt both of them would be and how it would be all Kurt's fault. But the monster shut that part of Kurt away and let himself enjoy this. And with Blaine's supple, toned ass presented to him like a fucking silver platter, he would definitely enjoy this.  
Kurt lowered himself down and gave an experimental lick, knowing the odd sensation would cause Blaine to clench. "Relax. This won't hurt," he purred while rubbing Blaine's back until he unclenched.  
Blaine's heart was pounding. The first touch was awkward, but not unpleasant. He moved down to his triceps, feeling his biceps start to shake, and tucked his chin in, not knowing he was holding his breath. Then he heard Kurt speak and felt his hands and let out a breath. From then on, his breath came in short pants or large breaths all at once. He felt the second lick and instead of clenched, he arched his back, not unlike a cat, and exhaled hot air. It felt better than the first. Soon, he completely relaxed into it and was even pushing back against Kurt's face, while Kurt lapped rapidly then sucked at the nerves and buried his face against Blaine's ass. This felt better than the first blowjob, hands down. His cock, meanwhile was aching and his stomach was beginning to get painful from the amount of clenching he was doing in his abs. He chanced reaching a hand back and encircling himself. The sensation of just the touch was insane and let out another breathy groan.  
Meanwhile, Kurt could feel the small ministrations Blaine's hips were making and knew Blaine was jerking himself off. _Mm_, he thought and smiled to himself. _Looks like somebody wants to come._ He had enough saliva pooled in his mouth and he swirled his tongue around his index finger._ Let's see how he likes this._ After one last lick, he pushed his finger in Blaine's hole to the knuckle and immediately went for his prostate.  
Blaine's hips stuttered and he clenched again, but not in pain. "Ahh. Gmmm. Fuck, Kurt." He had fingered himself before out of curiosity and wonder, and was familiar with the feeling. He knew what Kurt had done and he wasn't ungrateful. Kurt grinned, happy with himself and his actions, and waited patiently for Blaine to unclench while rubbing his back again. "You like that?"  
Blaine let out another shallow moan, trying desperately to be quiet. The last thing he wanted right now was for Burt to walk in. Strike that. The last thing he wanted was for Kurt to stop. Right now, he almost didn't care if Burt walked in, just as long as Kurt didn't stop whatever he was doing. "Shhhit. Oh my god."  
"I'll take that as a yes." He chuckled.  
Blaine unclenched and relaxed enough to let Kurt know he was ready for more. He worked slow at first, but soon was up to a steady pace, still only using one finger, but began lapping at the outer rim of nerves for added pleasure and so that his finger would continue to be lubricated with saliva. It would only hurt Blaine to do this dry. Blaine's hand sped up and Kurt took this as a sign that he was close. The warning must have been there in Blaine's nonsensical sounds. So, to match the motions, he fingered Blaine hard and fast, hitting his bundle of nerves over and over, making his lover's body shake profusely in pleasure. Finally, Blaine collapsed onto the floor, his body heaving in deep breaths and moaning exhales.  
Kurt grinned and slowly removed his finger once Blaine stopped throbbing. He grabbed a tissue out of a box on his desk and wiped his finger, then his mouth. He was good at this and took pride in the ability to make someone lose themselves completely in the throws of sexuality. Nothing made him feel more satisfied than the sight of Blaine, a withered mess, half dressed and unable to articulate anything on the floor. His softer side peeked out from behind his wall that he put up and he smiled out of happiness instead of pride. He helped Blaine pull his pants back up and he handed his lover a tissue after he rolled him over. Thankfully, Blaine came in his hand and not all over the rug. That would have been hard to explain away. He kissed Blaine tenderly and pushed Blaine back down when he tried to deepen the kiss and paw at him. "N-no," Kurt soothed. "You don't have to." He knew Blaine was trying to return the favor in some form.  
"But I want to," he wined, trying to be seductive.  
"Later then. This was about you."  
Blaine felt the drive to say some form of sentiment telling Kurt how he felt about him, but pushed the want away because he saw that the gentle and kind Kurt had returned. "What do we do then?"  
"Why don't we go down to my room and pop in a movie or take a nap? You look like you could use one."  
"And you pretend like you don't care." A grin was across his mouth as he said his comment sarcastically.  
He wanted to say that he didn't care, but secretly, he did. At least, the part that he tried to keep hidden cared. Maybe even his mean side cared too. In fact, Kurt was willing to bet that ever fiber of his being cared for this boy in his arms. _If only I cared enough to let him go,_ he thought. But now that Blaine knew Kurt didn't mean it when he was mean to him, but using it as a defense mechanism, he didn't know how else to send him away. His fear at the moment was that if there were many more moments like this; tender, sweet moments in each other's arms; he may not have to strength to send him away.

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**Please review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry for the delay. I had too many things going on last week and couldn't get to this chapter, but I hope that this is satisfying :)**

**Also, I would love to hear thoughts on the Kurt/Eli interactions. :)**

**xoxo Grace**

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**Chapter 13**

As suggested, Kurt and Blaine took a nap while a movie played in Kurt's room. Blaine enjoyed the comfort of being next to Kurt until they both fell asleep. An hour later, his phone was ringing because his mother wanted him to come home. He lied, insisting that they were still working on their project. She continued to say that he shouldn't push his luck since he didn't call home last night.

"Is the mother ordering you home?" Kurt asked teasingly when Blaine hung up.

Blaine scrunched his face and rolled into Kurt's chest. "Yes," he groaned. Slender arms wrapped around him. "I want to take you on a date."

"I want a shopping spree on Rodeo Drive," Kurt responded sarcastically.

The shorter boy moved away from the arms that held him and knelt on the mattress, looking down at a smirking Kurt. "I'm serious. When was the last time you were taken out?"

"I can't remember." That was a lie. He could remember, but it was a long time ago and not something he wanted to talk about.

"All the more reason then." He threaded his fingers with Kurt's. "I want to do something ridiculously normal like buy you dinner or take you to a movie and buy you popcorn. I just…" He paused. "I want to take care of you for once."

"This isn't about me not letting you blow me earlier, is it?"

"I don't know. Maybe. You're always in control and making sure _I'm _taken care of in more ways than one, if you catch my drift. I wanted to do something for _you._ Anything."

The slender boy on the mattress smirked and leaned up on his elbows. He had an idea that would maybe distract Blaine from the topic and the conversation could end. He didn't have it in him right now to be mean, but didn't know how else to say no. He really liked and enjoyed his day with Blaine, but he didn't want to go on a date. It had nothing to do with now he felt about him and everything to do with being seen in public, getting too romantically involved, and giving Blaine a false hope that one day they could be a couple, when Kurt knew that wasn't in the cards. He reached forward and tried to pull Blaine in for a kiss. "You're such a silly romantic."

Blaine let himself be pulled in but didn't let Kurt deepen the kiss because he instinctually knew what was happening. "I'm trying to be. Will you let me?" Kurt rolled his eyes and actually thought about it. "Come on. Let me take you on a date."

"I don't date, Blaine. I know what you're trying to do."

"And I know what _you're_ trying to do." The wine came out easily with care, but Kurt only heard condescension and pointedness.

"Whatever pity you feel for me, stop it. I don't need or want you pity."

"I do not pity you, Kurt. I want to take you on a date."

"Because you think no one takes care of me. Believe me; a lot of people take care of me. Just not the way you're trying to."

Blaine momentarily averted eye contact. He didn't want to hear about other people with Kurt. He always hated hearing that. It wasn't something he thought he could ever get used to or comfortable with. "I want to take you on a date because I like you. That's what people do. When two people like each other, they go on a date." That was the wrong thing to say.

"I never said that I liked you."

This was aggravating because Blaine only wanted to spend time with Kurt. That was a date, wasn't it? The gentle wine came back, but it quickly escalated to Blaine feeling frantic and his words and volume mirror it. "You didn't have to. You didn't do all this last night and today because you hate me. You don't keep begging for forgiveness because you can't stand me. You don't look like you're about to cry, when you said you were scared for me last night, because you don't have feelings for me. I may be naïve, but I'm not stupid, Kurt. I know what this is. I don't pity you; I like you. And I don't understand why me wanting to care for and about you is something you don't want. Is it me?"

"No."

"Then what is it, because I don't understand. You're a handful of months older than me and what happened to you that makes you not believe in something like romance like I do?"

"I like having casual sex. I don't care for awkward conversation and wondering if the night is going to end with sex. I always want sex. So, I don't see the point in not skipping to the good part all together."

"How about seeing how dangerous what you do is?"

"I've never been hurt hooking up with a random guy-"

"No? Just me then? Last night was a fluke accident that's never happened? That could have been you if I didn't do what I did."

"Yes, it was a first! And I'm sorry! I'm sorry that happened to you. I owe you everything for intervening. I don't know how else to thank you or apologize than-"

As Kurt spoke, something dawned on Blaine. This was Kurt's pattern. He apologized and then they hooked up. Blaine already figured this out, but what he hadn't put together yet was that Kurt chunked apologies, happiness, and sex together. His stomach churned and his skin crawled. "Today?" Blaine interrupted. "Is that what today was? An apology? You did all that without letting me return the favor because you were thanking me?! What the fuck, Kurt! I don't want sex in exchange for helping you. I don't need any of that. I'm a teenage boy with hormones, but I care about you." His hands covered his chest and he stared intently into Kurt's eyes. "I have these feelings for you that I don't know what to do with because if they have anything to do with not being sexual, you don't seem to want them."

Kurt sat up, fully facing his lover now. "I don't want them! You finally get it! Tell me what I did to deserve your affections because I don't know how to shake you off."

"Ugh!" Blaine got up and started to gather his clothes that were strewn about the room. "You are such a walking contradiction."

"I thought you were onto me? I thought you knew what game I was playing at?"

His clothes started to come off and replaced with ones from last night that he found strewn on the floor. "The only thing I'm thinking right now is about how disgusting I feel right now because you actually thought that you could repay me with sex and I fell right into your plan. The difference between me and those guys you hook up with at the bars is that I care about you here." He pointed to his heart. "In fact I care _more_ about you here and here," he jabbed his finger at his chest and his head to indicate 'mind and heart,' "than I do anywhere else on your body and you don't care at all."

_That's not true,_ Kurt thought. Blaine was fully dressed now and pulling on his shoes. Kurt got out of bed and kicked Blaine's left shoe away to stall Blaine. "Why does it matter so much to you whether we go on a date or not? If it's going to end in a blow job or whatever, why not just come over and we'll blow each other to your hearts content?"

"It's not about that! Why don't you get it? It's not about sex! My God, Kurt. After all this, how are you still thinking that's what I want from you? I want to spend time with you. Actual time. I _want_ the awkward conversations and playful argument over who's going to pay the bill. I want to feel anxious, wondering if you're thinking about me on the drive home. I _want _to spend more than an hour with you where sex isn't part of the conversation. I _want_ to show you that you don't have to put out for me to be around you."

"This is only getting more frustrating because you're not hearing me at all. I told you that I like casual, non committal sex. I like doing things the way I do."

"I don't believe you."

"Why? Because I'm not like you? I'm not fueled by a stupid fantasy that you read in a fairy tale. If you really liked me, you'd stop trying to change me and take me for what I am."

Blaine stopped arguing. He stopped moving. Was that what he was doing? Was he trying to change Kurt? No. He was sure that he wasn't. He was trying to show him something that he wasn't used to. Isn't that what Kurt was doing for Blaine too? Blaine wasn't used to a sexual relationship and Kurt was doing that for him, albeit for his own reasons, of course. He began slowly and calmly. "I'm not trying to change you."

"Do you need a ride home?" Kurt asked abruptly. He didn't think he could glare any harder in fear that his eye would pop out. _Go ahead; hate me. Please hate me. You can't do any worse than what I've done already._

Honey eyes trailed down to the floor. A left shoe was collected and put on. Lungs exhaled a saddened sigh. "No. My house is only a couple miles away. I'll walk."

"Don't be stupid; I'll drive you."

"I've run more miles every day than it takes to walk home. And I'm not stupid. What's stupid is you not giving, what is obviously a good thing, a chance. But we're done arguing. You've got your wish. Tell your dad that I said thank you for the offer, but I won't be going to D.C. with you."

"Blaine…"

"-No. I can't tell you how sorry I feel for you for thinking that a thank you is doing what we did. I'll eventually get over the fact that my first foray into intimacy was fraught with one sided feelings and someone who claims to not care. But right now, I can't stand to think about spending that much time with you on planes and in hotel rooms and listening to you lie to me and yourself over and over again. I have more respect for myself than that. I wish you did too." With the spitting comment, Blaine left in a daze, saying a goodbye to Burt when he passed him on his way to the door, and leisurely taking his time walking home. There were many things to think about. He thought about what he'd done and how he let Kurt fool him again and again. He thought about intimate moments, locker rooms, photographs, shoes made in India, designer clothes, the scent of lavender, and the color of the ocean as waves crashed. By the time Blaine reached home, all he could think about was how there was nothing different he could have done. He would have fallen for Kurt Hummel all over again and not for the last time.

There was something about Kurt that Blaine couldn't put his finger on. It was obvious that Kurt had been hurt in his past, but what could possibly have happened to him so young that would scar him that badly. He didn't believe the bitch persona that Kurt had going for one second. In the moments that Kurt had been sweet and gentle, Blaine knew that was the real Kurt. That was the Kurt that was vulnerable and trusting. The moments were fleeting, but almost just as quickly, Kurt would see his falter and go running behind the walls he built to separate himself long before Blaine came into the picture. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair and Blaine would just have to live with knowledge that he couldn't change Kurt and Kurt didn't want to be changed or helped.

…..

"Blaine seems like a nice boy," Burt said over dinner.

"Yeah. He's nice." Kurt was still thinking about their argument. It was really affecting him more than normal.

"You're being awfully quiet over there. You've been quiet since he left actually."

"I didn't feel like being social." He took a dainty bite of mashed potatoes. Then an even bigger one when he saw the 'let's talk' look on his father's face.

"We can do this the easy way or I can ground you. Take your pick?"

It took three swallows to get down the mouthful of potatoes in his mouth. "Why would I be grounded?"

"You had a boy spend the night in your bed last night and that's against rules."

"I thought you liked Blaine. We didn't have sex. I told you that."

"I do like Blaine, but that has nothing to do with this. I didn't say that you couldn't have sex in your bed. I said that you couldn't have a guy spend the night in it. That's two different things. So, you have two options. Be grounded through Thanksgiving, or talk to me. We've never had a problem communicating until now, so make your decision."

Kurt huffed and put his fork down. Talking for a few minutes was infinitely better than being grounded for weeks. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, pouting like a child. "What do you want to know?"

"Blaine didn't seem too happy when he left."

"We had a fight."

"About?"

"He wants us to date and I don't."

"I thought you liked him."

"I do like him." Now seemed like as good a time as any to restart filling his mouth to avoid answering, but the fork made a clank sound as it was dropped back on the plate after seeing yet another classic Burt look. It was a look that insisted Kurt contributes more to the conversation and adds to his statement. The more I think about it, the more it comes down to what happened. That _thing_ we don't talk about."

"What about it?"

"Remember when I said that he reminds of the person I used to be before -_it- _happened?" Burt nodded. "It's more like he _is_ who I used to be. He's so naïve and trusting. That therapist you set me up with thinks that I'm jealous of Blaine because he has what I don't. The truth is that I _am _jealous. I like him I can't stand him at the same time."

"I treat him like crap sometimes because I don't want him to have to deal with all my baggage. I think that if I treat him badly enough, he'll stop being so patient with me and stay away for good."

"How's that working out?"

"Awful because when he does stay away, I bring him right back in. What's worse is that I think I really said the wrong thing today. I don't think he's coming back this time."

"It sounds like you're beating him up when he is exactly the type of person you should be trusting. I know what happened changed you, but if you're not ready for a relationship, then don't push it. If you think you are ready and want one with him, you need to stop punishing him for something he had nothing to do with because he isn't going to be patient forever and you don't want to change him the way you were changed if he's perfect the way he is. Does that make sense?"

"Yes. I just feel like I can't go any further with him without telling him what happened and I don't want to tell anyone. I don't want to talk about it. I want to forget it."

"Son, if it's holding you back from accepting love from someone else, then maybe we do need to talk about it. Maybe we were wrong when we decided to stop talking about it. If he's the right one for you and you can trust him; if this is what's going to help you get better and move past it, then tell him. I know this isn't easy and I know it's a big step, but you're a man now. You're eighteen."

"Accepting love isn't the problem," he grumbled, thinking of the vast amount of people who willingly loved every inch of his body.

"I think it is, or one of the problems at least."

"He likes me. He doesn't love me."

"How do you know? How do you know he's not trying to fall in love with you and you're what's stopping him? How many times have you had to go back to him and ask for forgiveness? More than once?"

"More like, I can't remember how many times," He said sheepishly.

"And he's still around?! Kurt, what does that tell you?"

Like always, his dad was right. "It tells me that I have a decision to make."

"If you really care about him, you'll do the right thing."

"But I don't know how. Even if I was ready to try some form of a relationship, I don't know what to say to him."

"You'll figure it out. Although you could start with 'I'm sorry.'"

"That doesn't exactly work with him anymore. I've said it too many times. And I think I hurt him really bad this time."

"Then maybe accompanying the apology with a kind gesture or agreeing to something he would consider being a big step for you."

"Pretty sure a date would be considered a big step, seeing as how I haven't been on one in three years."

"Ha!" Burt chortled. "Ten! You think you've got problems?" He laughed harder. "I haven't been on a date in over ten years. And you'd think being the state congressman of Ohio would make it easier to meet women, but D.C. is one big sausage fest with a sprinkle of married women at the functions I go to."

Kurt was right, a conversation was well worth the time and faired better than being grounded. He laughed with his father and let the conversation flow into another and another. He loved his dad. They could talk about everything and even though they had little in common, they had each other and that was more than enough. It took a few hours of contemplating, but he finally thought that Burt was right and he should give Blaine more credit. He knew he was limiting himself by not opening himself up and basing all relationships off of something that changed his life and how he saw things. It wasn't fair to anyone. He couldn't change overnight, but if he could somehow show Blaine that he's sorry and is willing to work a little harder, he could be worth the wait. Now all he needed to do was believe that he _was_ worth the wait, while figuring out how to win Blaine back one more time.

He decided to give Blaine the night to cool down and he tried to call him around ten in the morning. His call went straight to Blaine's voicemail, so, thinking Blaine's phone was either off or dead, he called his house phone. His mother picked up and told Kurt that Blaine was at the gym boxing with Eli and he would be back later. He thanked her and was instantly jealous when he heard that Eli was with him. He didn't like Eli. It was obvious to Kurt that Eli wanted Blaine and that made him competition. If there was one thing Kurt didn't like, it was competition. It didn't matter is Eli was right for Blaine or if Eli was a nice person, Blaine was Kurt's and that was that. He decided he had to come up with a plan. Something bigger than just groveling. Eli was not going to win.

…..

Blaine had spent the rest of Saturday doing homework and trying to take his mind off of Kurt. Nothing worked. He didn't understand. He liked Kurt. He really really liked Kurt, but couldn't understand him. He was starting to question why it was that he liked him and that's when he called Eli. Eli was always a great friend because he was able to help Blaine get his mind off of things.

They chatted on the phone for over an hour. Eli didn't mention Kurt once because he didn't want to make the same mistake of accidentally saying the wrong thing. He didn't like Kurt. Kurt didn't treat Blaine right and to Eli, he seemed like a spoiled brat who was used to getting what he wanted. He didn't know what Blaine saw in him anyway. Blaine didn't mention Kurt either because he didn't want to divulge personal stories about their sex life. Instead, they decided to go boxing together on Sunday. Boxing was beginning to become a thing they did together now. He always tagged along with Blaine now. It was both fun and therapeutic.

Kurt showed up at the gym around 10:30. He brought his camera with him because he needed a believable excuse to be there. He obviously wouldn't be there to box. He searched around and couldn't find Blaine. He was about to give up, thinking that maybe they had already left. Then he heard a scratchy voice yelling out Blaine's name and a series of commands. He smiled when he saw the olive skinned brunette in the boxing ring. He had a helmet on, so it was no wonder he hadn't found him.

"What are you doing here?"

His body turned abruptly and saw the freckle-faced carrot top standing like he had every right to ask why Kurt was there. His smile was long gone and raised an eyebrow looking over Eli's sweaty and untoned frame. He was gangly and average looking. His annoying personality only made him look less attractive to Kurt. _This has to be done,_ Kurt thought and turned up his bitch persona. "I'd ask you the same thing because obviously, a gym is not your go to place. Unless, you go to stare at the men in the sauna and wish you could have their bodies."

"I really do not see why Blaine continues to defend you as his friend. You're an awful human being."

"Don't think for one second that I don't see straight through your fake ploy to friend then bed him when you pour your heart out to him so you both will run off under a rainbow or some shit. You're no where near my league sweetie. I promise you that."

"You don't know anything about-"

"-No," Kurt interrupted. "You don't know anything."

"Kurt?" Both boys looked over Kurt's left shoulder and saw Blaine walking towards them. He was unwrapping his hands. "What are you doing here?"

The tallest boy smiled and held up his camera. "Project, remember?" There were a few moments of silence and Kurt licked his lips before starting slowly. "And I wanted to apologize… again."

Eli scoffed and Kurt shot him a death stare. Blaine gave Eli a look of his own. He knew by now that Eli didn't like Kurt at all and since he was friends with both, they had to be civil in front of him. "It's nothing I didn't expect." He turned to his curly headed friend. "Eli, can Kurt and I have a few minutes?"

He eyed his opponent. "Sure. I'll just shower or something. We're done, right?" Blaine nodded. He looked Kurt up and down once more as he walked past them both to the locker room. "What are you apologizing for? You didn't insult me; you were honest. You like your life the way it is and I'm the one who pushed."

"This isn't your fault. I was a jerk. I could have explained it differently. Obviously communication is something that I need to work on."

"I'm not without fault, Kurt. You were right. I didn't like the answer you were giving me, so I kept asking hoping for a different one."

"No. You're within your right to want normal things like a date. I'm flattered that you want to take me on a date. I should have told you that. I also should have told you that I am uncomfortable with a lot of things that are considered the norm, but none of them have anything to do with you. I am who I am. All I can say is that I'm trying."

All of this was new for the duo. Kurt never apologized like this and was never this up front with his feelings. Until now, he had always been cryptic or just flat out shut down. But, this Kurt was pleasant and kind. He was obviously uncomfortable doing it this way, but Blaine recognized that he was doing this for Blaine. He was showing that he cared, despite trying to normally act like he didn't.

"Are you busy later?" Kurt asked, trying to end the awkward feeling.

"I'm hanging out with Eli."

"You hang out with him all the time. Come on. Ditch him and come over to my place." Ocean blue eyes slowly stared openly at Blaine's lips. "I'll make it worth your while." He grinned devilishly and wagged his eyebrows.

"I can't ditch Eli, that'd be rude. And I'm not going to let you use sex as an apology anymore."

"I'm not doing that. I already apologized, remember?"

"It's probably just end with me not being able to touch you and you saying something you'd have to apologize for."

"So, what are you saying? We're not going to touch each other ever again? Cause if that's the case, fighting with you is well worth the make up if it means I can s-"

Blaine's hand flew to cover Kurt's mouth. "Shh," he laughed, blushing wildly. "You can't talk like that here."

"Then come over and hang out with me."

"You know what? Fine. We can hang out." Kurt smiled triumphantly. "But… only if we can hang out in public and I can call it a date."

"Can it end with me," he lowered his volume and leaned in close to Blaine's ear, "giving you the greatest orgasm you've ever had?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe? Is that a yes?"

"No. It's a maybe."

Kurt dropped his head back and puffed out his cheeks. "I'm really trying, Blaine. I'm negotiating doing something I told you yesterday I didn't want to do. Can we at least meet in the middle and agree on not making me wonder if I'm going to get lucky or not? I told you I hated that part."

"Okay fine. BUT you have to promise me that we're not going to fight. You can't be mean to me at all."

"Fair enough. Besides, you're going to D.C. with me; I need to work on my niceness anyway. Tonight would be great practice."

"I told you I wasn't going."

"I must have forgotten," Kurt said in a coy tone. "Anyway, Dad already reserved the seats on the flight. Non-refundable."

Blaine eyed Kurt suspiciously. "Clever. Now I have to go, huh?"

"Yep. Please? Blaine I-" He couldn't say it. He'd practiced in the mirror this morning. _I like you._ It was said countless times and countless ways, but getting it out when he needed it to come out was harder than telling his dad that he was gay for the first time. "I would really like it if you accompanied me to D.C. and I promise I'll be on my best behavior between now and then."

"And after D.C.?"

"I can't make any promises. I'm not perfect, but I can promise to try to work through my problems."

"Sounds like a plan then."

They paused, their eyes glistening at each other and smiles prevalent on their faces. "So, let's get this straight. You're taking me on a date and if I'm a good boy, then I get rewarded at the end?"

"Precisely."

"Do I have to call it a date?"

"No. But you have to acknowledge the fact that I am calling it that whether you want to or not."

"So, if Karofsky asks if we went on a date or not I can say that _you're_ calling it a date, but I have full rights to say we just hung out?"

"Correct."

"I think I can live with this. I hope you know that you're breaking new ground here. This is a moment in history. You're getting this lothario to go on a," he gulped, "_date_ before the possibility of taking our clothes off."

"I know. And we're agreeing on something important. Weird, huh?"

"Very."

A moment passed and Blaine wondered if he were doing the right thing. It was less eighteen hours ago that he was saying to himself that he'd made a mistake by forgiving Kurt again. Now he was not only forgiving him, but, just like he said to himself, he was putting his heart out there to be broken, probably not for the last time. _What is wrong with me?_ he thought. _I really am a glutton for punishment. _"You're serious about this then? We're really giving us a shot? _You're_ giving a relationship a shot."

"Not a relationship yet. Slow. I'm not used to this. We'll start with a-," he could feel his insides churning at the thought of the word.

"-date."

"-then see how things go. What I am giving a shot at is working on being nicer to you and see where this goes. My dad says that I'm limiting myself if I don't give every opportunity a chance that could be a good thing."

"You're dad, the congressman, thinks I'm a good thing?"

"I didn't say that. He thinks you're," he rolled his eyes being mildly embarrassed, but knowing a small token of complimentary affection would be appropriate. "-good looking, seemingly trustworthy, and…" Kurt trailed off and his eyes grew softer. His fingers curled nervously inside his pockets. He was actually going to say something from the heart. "…the kind of guy that I shouldn't hurt."

Words couldn't express the sweet smile and glossy eyed stare that spread across Blaine's face. Kurt really was trying. That was obvious. "Now if only you thought the same thing."

To say that the air between them was a mix between awkward and tender would be like saying that the ocean was wet. It was true, but a vast understatement. His blue green eyes shifted down and he shrugged his shoulders. "I do," he whispered, barely audible, but just enough for Blaine to hear. He coughed, straightening up and putting himself together. He'd hopped out from behind his wall for long enough. He figured it was okay to go back behind now. "So when are you going to break Witless Wonder's heart?" Kurt asked sarcastically.

This was where Blaine knew he had the upper hand and it brought on a sudden surge of change in him. Kurt was relying on Blaine to keep his plans. He laughed inwardly. _This is a first._ He could test Kurt's newfound yearning to want to be with Blaine by seeing what Kurt would be willing to do. This struck him as something Kurt would do to Blaine and not the other way around. _Is it wrong for me to give him a small taste of his own medicine?_ The temptation to see Kurt when he wasn't in control was too great. "Oh, I'm not ditching him. I made that clear. I'm going to hang out with him, have dinner with my family, and then you and I can go on our date. I'll let you know where we're going when I think of it."

"Really?" Kurt whined. "Now I have to sit around and wait?"

"Now you know how I feel about you all the time. Plan on six o'clock."

The pale skinned teen started to grumble. It was taking all of his patience and will power to let all this happen. He didn't wait around for people. People waited around for him. He got what he wanted when he wanted it without making an agreement beforehand. He wasn't used to having this less control. If nothing else, he hoped Blaine knew what he was sacrificing in order to make Blaine happy.

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**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	14. Chapter 14

******A short one, but I hope it makes you smile :)**

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**Chapter 14**

After boxing, Eli and Blaine went to an early lunch at their normal 2nd stop, the sub shop next door. Blaine had guzzled sixty-four ounces of water before they left the gym, but still bought a very large PowerAde with his large sub and side salad.

"Are these orders together, or separate?" the cashier inquired.

"Together," Eli said entirely too quickly and enthusiastically as he took out his wallet.

Blaine looked at Eli with a flattered, yet foolish expression. He pulled out his own wallet. "Don't even think about it, Dummy."

"No. No. You're money is no good here."

The cashier cleared her throat. "Yes it is."

This made Blaine laugh and he fished out a ten dollar bill. "Thanks, Amy. Keep the change."

"I think you're one of, like, three people, who ever put money in the tip jar."

"Eh, you can buy yourself a coffee or something."

"Or you could just come in with coffee instead. I wouldn't mind that."

Eli watched the friendly banter pass between the two suspiciously. "You two know each other?"

"Amy is my cousin. She goes to Crawford Country Day and works here on the weekends. Amy, this is Eli."

"Oh! Hi!" the red headed boy greeted more cheerily.

"Do you fence too?" she asked.

"Does everyone in your family fence?" Eli questioned.

"Pretty much. Thanksgiving it always fun," Blaine included.

"You better bring you're A-game this year. I won first place in last week's tournament," she challenged.

"I won second at my last."

"I was there, remember? Nicky won fifth."

"Nicky?" asked Eli.

"Younger brother. He's a sophomore at Dalton Academy." Amy looked at Blaine with a fake gleam. "He aspires to be Blaine in every way. Except the gay part. Although, I'm starting to think that he wished he were gay so that he could be more like him."

"Only the chosen one tenth, cousin." The two relatives laughed.

Eli was a bit lost. They had an interesting way of showing that they cared. He barely talked to his relatives. But then again, after high school, he didn't intend to have any contact with any of them at all. He took out ten dollars of his own and put it on the counter for his bill. "Keep the change," he said. "Now you can get two coffees."

Amy smiled closed mouthed, but her eyes looked like they should have been rolling. Eli was trying to be nice, so he could make a good impression on Blaine's cousin. If she was important to him, Blaine might ask her what she thinks of him and Eli wanted to give himself the best possible chances of getting approval. She made a ticking noise and clicked her tongue inside her mouth. The cash register opened and she took out the change and handed it back to Eli. "No thanks. One is enough."

There was an awkward silence before Blaine chuckled. "Don't mind her. She's perpetually annoyed with the human race for the sole purpose that they breathe. Call it eternal PMS."

Amy laughed because she knew it to be true. "For that I'm not serving you."

"You never serve me." There was more laugher that Eli didn't understand.

"I'll ring the bell when both your orders are ready."

"Order up!" the man in the kitchen hollered. Amy took the tray of food from behind her and rolled her eyes as she put it down in front of the boys. She stared, wondering why Blaine wasn't taking the tray. She scoffed and rang the bell. "Your food is ready."

Blaine let out one more chuckle. "No smile?"

"Just take your food, Golden Boy."

"Thanks, Amy," Eli added. She eyed him oddly one last time and he and Blaine brought their tray of food over to a table.

It didn't take long for Eli to start in on Blaine about different things. Kurt was the main thing on his mind because if there was one thing that Kurt was good at, it was getting into someone's head and driving them crazy. _Maybe that's why Blaine's always mad at him,_ he thought. "Could I make a bigger idiot out of myself?"

"Don't worry about it. Amy's just like that," Blaine answered between bites.

"Geeze, I don't think I've met a kid who eats as much as you." Eli was eyeing the very large sub that was filled with nearly ever vegetable and meat. Then he looked at the oversized salad that was also filled with every vegetable.

"When you burn as many calories as I do in a day, you'd eat a lot too. I'm always hungry, but it also matters what I eat."

"I'm jealous." He took a couple bites of his own sub and thought about what to talk about next. "So, tell me more about Kurt. I don't know very much about him other than that he's also inflicted with eternal PMS." Blaine's instinctual defenses for Kurt went up. He stopped chewing and narrowed his eyes. "Did I say the wrong thing? I thought you were mad at him?"

He swallowed the food in his mouth. "You don't know him. That doesn't mean you can talk about him like that."

"I'm sorry, but the very little I've heard about him isn't very nice and the very little experience around him wasn't very nice either."

"He's not all bad."

"Then why is he always apologizing? You'd think that you'd have enough of it by now."

"You don't know anything."

"That's what he said to me earlier after he insulted me."

"And I'm sure you were completely innocent."

"Why are you defending him?" Eli questioned hard. "When have I ever let you down or hurt you?"

"Because he's not here to defend himself. What do you think I do when he says something about you? I hate that you two can't get a long, but the point is that even if he's an asshole, it's none of your concern why I'm his friend. You can hate him all you want, but don't put me in the position to choose between you two. I'm not asking you to like him; I'm not even asking you to get a long with him. I'm only asking that you respect me enough to let me make my own choices about my friends. Got it?"

Eli didn't see the conversation going this way. He wanted to punch himself in the gut for turning the conversation sour. At first he thought there couldn't be a shot in hell that Blaine might have feeling for Kurt because who in their right mind would go back to someone who constantly hurt him? Blaine seemed sane of mind. So, what was it? "I'm sorry. You're right. How can I make it up to you?"

"Just forget it."

"Please? Can I take you out tonight after you have dinner with your parents?"

"Can't." Blaine suddenly smiled. "I have plans."

"With who?" The way Blaine smiled let Eli know that Blaine had no idea that he was trying to ask him out on a date and the plans Blaine had made him feel infinitely more excited than doing anything alone with Eli at the moment.

"I'd rather not say. It's really sort of new and I don't want to jinx it."

"Is it a date?" His heart sunk a little lower.

"Um." Blaine cleared his throat and swallowed a quarter of his PowerAde. "Not really, but kind of. I know that sounds confusing, but, like I said, it's new."

"I didn't know there was anyone new."

"If it gets serious, I'll let you know."

Eli didn't understand. How could Blaine be so blind to see what was in front of him? How could he not see Eli adoring him and wanting to make him happier than anyone else could?

Blaine was still smiling. He picked at his salad, thinking about how awesome tonight would be because he finally was having a date with Kurt. An actual date that involved him being able to pick Kurt up at his house, take him out somewhere, spoil him in ways that he knew no one else did because the only spoiling Kurt probably got from people that weren't his father were the kind that couldn't keep their hands off him. Not that Blaine could keep his hands off Kurt either, but he was different. He had two heads like those other men, but unlike them, he used the one on top of his shoulders. He thought about Kurt when those nameless men probably didn't and he wanted to make him happy. And that made Blaine happy.

He'd never been on a date before. Despite Kurt's previous forthcomings and mistakes and how much more time Blaine spent hating Kurt than feeling warm feelings for him, he was elated that his first date was with Kurt Hummel. Kurt Hummel who was gorgeous, smart, funny, and so sexy that it hurt to look at him sometimes. In this moment, it was hard to remember what he did wrong yesterday that made Blaine so mad at him because he was to busy thinking about how big a step this was for Kurt and how special that made Blaine because Kurt chose Blaine over everyone else.

…..

"You're doing what?" Blaine's mother asked him when he left the dinner table in a rush.

"I'm going out with Kurt Hummel."

"Tonight? Don't you think that's something you should have asked us first?"

"We're working on our project," he lied.

"It's due Tuesday and neither one of us have time to finish it tomorrow. I told you yesterday that we were working on it, but you made me come home anyway. I wouldn't have to go out tonight if you let me stay in the first place." A guilt lie. That was the worst kind for Blaine, but he knew it would do the trick.

"Why didn't you say so?"

"I tried, but you demanded I come home and a good boy doesn't argue with mother's orders, right?" He smiled and pecked her on the cheek before retreating quickly.

He'd already taken a shower that day, so he wet his hair a little to restyle it, washed his face, shaved, and picked out a pair of light blue jeans and a plaid snap front shirt. A white tank top went on underneath that and he cuffed the sleeves. The last thing he added to his ensemble was a chunky wristwatch and cologne. Taking a look in the mirror he decided that he looked presentable.

**B- You sure you want to go through with this because I'm almost ready to come pick you up?**

**K- Having second thoughts? You could always just come over and we can have a repeat performance of yesterday.**

**B- Nope. Date first and MAYBE we can fool around if you're good.**

**K- Oh, don't you worry. I'll be on my best behavior. Remember, I WANT to get laid.**

**B- You mean I might actually get to return the favor?**

**K- Only if you're a good boy.**

**B- It's not me you have to worry about, smartass.**

**K- I'm always worried about your ass. It doesn't get nearly enough attention. I can change that.**

**B- Hey! Best behavior, remember? Be a gentleman.**

**K- Yeah, yeah. Lady on the streets and a freak in the sheets. **

**B- Have you ever heard that song Treat Her Like a Lady?**

**K- Yeah Lee Dewyze sang it on American Idol years ago. Why?**

**B- "Treat her like a lady/ do the best you can do/ Treat her like a lady/ She'll give in to you."**

**B- Just substitute lady for gentleman and you get the picture.**

**K- I hope you know I've never worked this hard before.**

**B- I do know. It means a lot and I'm honored. Really.**

**K- I'm ready when you are. Dad says not to keep me out too late.**

**B- I'm leaving now. See you soon.**

An hour later, Blaine had picked up Kurt, spoke with his father, and they were on their way. He was smiling and elated the entire drive because he was driving on his first date, the radio was blaring, and Kurt was sitting next to him, singing along to a special mix of songs that Blaine made earlier for his ipod.

"So, where are we going?" Kurt asked, turning the volume down so he could be heard.

"In Westerville there's a really great arcade. I've been there once after a fencing match with Dalton."

"We're going to an arcade?" Kurt's voice was full of assumptions and curiosity.

"Best behavior, remember?" Blaine reminded. "It'll be fun. I thought it would be different and something that neither one of us get to do very often. Both of our lives revolve around schedules. Tonight I figured we could have an easy night with no expectations except that you have to be nice and I will reward you. Everything else is just us." He glanced over and smiled.

Kurt didn't show it very well, but he remained silent for a beat, and felt touched. _He actually thought about this. He thought about it and planned it. Wow._ This was something completely knew and not very comfortable, but be promised Blaine that he would try. No one ever thought about Kurt the way Blaine did. Blaine thought of everything and a whole picture as opposed to what Kurt thought. Kurt was only thinking of a few hours of good behavior and then crawling in the back seat of his hatchback and blowing each other. Blaine was busy thinking of doing something to ease Kurt's mind with mindless arcade games. He swallowed hard before letting the corners of his lips tug upward and he reached over and grabbed Blaine's hand. Tonight would be a good night. It would be a good thing no matter how uncomfortable it might feel at times or anxious he might feel to make a snap comment to send Blaine running once more. No. Tonight Kurt would allow himself to peek over his walls a bit longer than he ever allowed himself before. He was on a date. _Maybe I should start thinking of it that way, _he thought.

The driver chanced looking a little longer at his passenger before bring his eyes back to the road. _He's holding my hand. He's never done that._ There was only one time he could think of where Kurt's fingers were laced with his, but it was Blaine who initiated it and Kurt who let go shortly after. Other times it was Kurt or Blaine grabbing a hand to tow one or the other away and that didn't count as hand holding. Blaine tucked his lip between his teeth before smiling again and sighing contentedly. So far, everything was perfect.

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**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	15. Chapter 15

******Another short one, but it's the date :) Enjoy :P **

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**Chapter 15**

As apprehensive as Kurt was about the whole _date_ idea, he was actually have a good time. No. Strike that. He was having a great time; a fantastic time; more fun than he'd ever had clothed with someone in a very _very_ long time. There seemed to be a permanent smile fixed on his face because Blaine was really funny and the way he scrunched his face when he got into a video game was adorable. It was cute how competitive he was and after a particularly long game of foosball, Blaine did a hilarious victory dance when he won.

Blaine spared no moment to make Kurt laugh or smile either. His plan was to make this as real of a date as possible and more than anything, he wanted to make Kurt happy. He opened doors for Kurt, bought him a drink and a snack when they decided to take a break; he even tried to let Kurt win a few times on the games where they versed each other, but Kurt caught on and made Blaine stop.

"What do you want to do next?" Blaine asked.

Kurt looked around. There wasn't much they hadn't done. Then his eyes settled on a bouncing castle. It was shaped like a boxing ring with netting around it so you couldn't fall off. "I want to box."

Honey eyes followed Kurt's line of vision. "You want to fight?"

"Yes. Well, air fight. You box with Eli all the time and I want to see what you can do."

"I don't fight Eli because I'll hurt him. I teach him how to box and I don't exactly box while jumping three feet in the air."

"What's the matter?" Kurt taunted poking Blaine's side and smiling. "Scared I'll win?"

Blaine laughed, unable to picture Kurt beating him in a fight. "No. I'm scared I'll accidentally hurt you."

"You won't hurt me. They have inflated soft gloves. Please? You asked what I wanted to do."

Blaine smirked. "Okay fine. But don't get mad when your hair gets messed up."

Kurt's arm swung around Blaine's shoulders and they headed for the bouncing castle. Blaine paid the two dollars for both of them to go on while Kurt took of his shoes. He watched as Kurt took his thin leather jacket off and froze momentarily when he went to hand it to the teenage boy who monitored the station.

The teen had a boyish face and the same thin, delicate frame as Kurt. He took the jacket, not taking his eyes of Kurt. When he opened his mouth to say something, Kurt cut him off. "Please make sure no one takes that or spills anything on it."

"Uh-of course," the teen stammered. "You both have f-five minutes. H-have fun."

Kurt turned away and grabbed a pair of air-soft gloves. Blaine was already in the ring and still watching. The Kurt-look-alike looked very uncomfortable and like he was trying purposefully to keep his eyes off Kurt and Blaine, but failing miserably. The actual Kurt glanced back, trying to be nonchalant as he pulled the zipper down to close him and his date in.

"Everything okay?" Blaine asked.

"Uh. Yeah." Kurt smiled and heaved a sigh. "Long story. Maybe I'll tell you about it sometime." He started to pull his gloves on, still looking rather frazzled.

Blaine stepped cautiously toward Kurt, making sure his footing was secure so he wouldn't fall over. "Whatever it is, I'm sure it's worse in your head than it is in reality." Blaine shifted his eyes over to where the teen should have been standing. "Look, he's not even there anymore."

Kurt looked over. Sure enough, the familiar teen wasn't watching his station as Blaine said. A girl stood in his place now. He felt his heart start to slow down now that he was gone. "It's not what you think."

Something was very obviously wrong. Blaine had never seen or imagined Kurt to ever be this worked up or upset by anything. Suddenly, he saw one person and he looked like his entire world had crashed. He was trying, that was obvious, to pretend that he was fine, but while his smile was believable, hies eyes were sad. Blaine lightly touched Kurt's arm. "Did you sleep with him?" he inquired lightly.

Kurt shifted his eyes away from Blaine. He couldn't talk about this. Not now. Not with Blaine. Not while he was having the best night of his life. It was moments like this that reminded him why he pushed people away and couldn't open up to Blaine. _Why?_ he thought. _One night? I can't have one fucking night?_ His head bobbed in quick, tiny nods, affirming Blaine's question.

"Well, hey. It's okay," Blaine soothed, trying to be comforting. "This can happen, right? You're with me tonight. You shouldn't be embarrassed running into an old hook-up when you're with me."

"I'm not embarrassed."

Blaine really looked at Kurt's averted gaze. He was telling the truth. He wasn't embarrassed. He was…_scared?_ He actually looked like he might start shaking. Blaine pulled off the gloves that Kurt put on and dropped them to the floor. He held onto Kurt's hands to let him know Blaine was there and he wasn't alone. He didn't need to be scared. "Kurt, answer me honestly. That guy didn't-"

"No!" Kurt exclaimed at a normal volume as he suddenly came back to life. "I told you. It's not what you think." He knew where Blaine was going with this and wanted to confirm that no, the boy he saw did not rape him.

"Oh." Blaine heaved out a relieved exhale. "Thank god. I was worried." Silence. "Wanna go?"

Kurt nodded. He hated himself. He hated that one thing could ruin their perfect night. Their perfect…_date. _And that's what this was: a date. Not just for Blaine, but for Kurt too. He was on a date with the most wonderful guy and he didn't want it to end like this. This wasn't supposed to happen. "Wait," he said, stopping Blaine when they got near the exit. Like in the car on the way there, Kurt took Blaine's hand, lacing his fingers with Blaine's. "I want to stay."

"You do?"

"Yes. We were having fun and we can still have fun. I'll get over it."

"It's okay, Kurt. We can go somewhere else or do something else if you want. I don't mind. I just want you to be happy and not worry about anything."

"I'll be okay. Promise." His eyes were sad still, but he was pouting and there was no amount of strength that Blaine had that could say no to a face like that.

"Alright. Tell me what you want."

Kurt looked around again, still not smiling, but searching for the most perfect thing that Blaine could do to make him think he's making Kurt feel better. Then he found it in the form of a novelty gift at the prize counter. It was very large and hanging on the wall. "I want that ridiculously huge and completely tacky stuffed, Jamaican banana."

Blaine spun around and saw what Kurt was talking about. It was, in fact, a ridiculously huge stuffed banana with plastic eyes, dreadlocks, and reggae beanie. He laughed. "That? You want that?" An answer came in the form of a nod and a sweet sounding "Mmhmm." Blaine scratched the back of his neck, disbelieving. "Why?"

"Because it would fit the Zen of my room?"

"Ha! Nice try, but no dice. What's the real reason?"

"Okay fine. I want it because it would be from you and you would feel accomplished and special because you would have to work hard to get it for me."

His triangular eyebrows went up and showed off his wide honey eyes that were like melted caramel. "You couldn't pick something smaller? Kurt, that costs like a million tickets or a hefty bribe to the ticket taker. She'd ask for my first born child, or something."

"Okay…" Kurt began, sounding like he was about to challenge Blaine. "If you don't think you could win it…"

"Really? You're trying that? Why don't I just offer to impregnate her? That way she really could have my first born?"

"Please?"

_He's saying please,_ Blaine thought. _He really wants it._ Kurt was on his best behavior, as promised and he hadn't asked for much all night. _I do want to make him feel better._ "What the hell. Sure. I'll win you that completely tacky banana."

"Yay!" Kurt pecked Blaine on the cheek. "Thank you!"

Two hours, eight thousand tickets, and a lot of money later, Kurt and Blaine were driving home with that stupid banana shoved into the backseat of Blaine's car. It was frustrating at times because of some of the games, but Blaine and Kurt won it together and Kurt was happy. Goal achieved.

"The lights are off in your house," Blaine mentioned when he pulled up in front of Kurt's house.

"Yeah. Dad goes to bed early on Sundays. He has a really early flight back to D.C in the morning."

"It must be lonely here during the week."

"Only after dinner when I realize that the house is completely empty. Every other time I don't mind."

"Want help carrying your ridiculously huge Jamaican Banana inside?"

Kurt giggled. "Sure." The sight of Blaine pulling the thing out of the hatchback was comical because it was bigger than Blaine. Each boy took one end of the stuffed fruit and carted it into the house and downstairs to Kurt's room. Kurt took the body pillow off his bed and tossed it on a nearby chair. "I need your tank top," he said.

"Why?" Blaine smiled, thinking that Kurt was giving Blaine excuses to take his clothes off. He had made a promise and he was ready. Tonight he'd punch in his V-card and make love to Kurt for the first time because tonight was almost perfect, minus the part about Kurt being scared and the other teen at the arcade. Blaine wanted to do this for and with Kurt because he cared so much about him and they were happy. They spent almost a whole night not talking about sex and it was exactly what Blaine wanted. He wanted time and got it. He wanted honesty and got it. He wanted to pamper Kurt and be the one in control for once; he got that too. Blaine was more than ready to take this enormous step with and for Kurt.

"Because when I curl up to my ridiculously huge Jamaican banana tonight, instead of my body pillow, it will smell like you and not the arcade."

That might have been the sweetest thing Kurt ever said to Blaine. It made him blush and he shook his head, looking down at the floor, with the biggest smile he'd ever shown on his face. "O-okay." He started to unsnap his plaid shirt slowly and let it drop off his arms to the floor. His heart was racing. _Sexy,_ he thought. _Be sexy._ But he'd never thought about being sexy before and he was nervous and Kurt was beautiful and always sexy and… he licked his lips, looking up at Kurt's eyes, feeling completely vulnerable.

Kurt pulled the tank top up slowly, feeling Blaine's soft skin as the fabric dragged up and over his head. He placed the tank on the bed and Blaine gulped before moving in for a soft, yet deep kiss. The jacket Kurt wore was being moved off his shoulders, down his arms, and put on the bed without lips parting at all. Then he felt hands starting to trail down to his belt. He pulled back from the kiss and held Blaine's hands at the same time, stopping his motions.

"What's wrong?" Blaine wondered aloud.

"Maybe we shouldn't do this tonight." The tone was cautious, but caring and thought out.

"But you were wonderful. I made a deal with you and you kept your part of the bargain up."

"It's not that. I want to. I do. It would only make the rest of this night even more perfect than I thought possible."

"I want to too. I do. I want you, Kurt." He leaned in to kiss Kurt again.

Kurt only countered by leaning back to reject the kiss. He needed to be strong and, for once, do the right thing. "Some other time. I promise. Just… please? Not tonight?"

_He's really working that 'please' word tonight._ Then it dawned on Blaine. The sad eyes were back on Kurt. "Is this about what happened earlier? The guy?" He questioned gently.

"A gentleman should never put out on the first date if he really cares about his date…" Blaine swooned, but still saw through the words to see Kurt's eyes. He continued to look at him like he was expecting an answer. Kurt looked down, ashamed and unable to look Blaine in the eyes while he admitted this. He nodded his head. "Kind of," he finally confessed

"Want to talk about it?"

This time there was a shake. "Not now."

"Not now," Blaine repeated. "Someday?"

"Yes. Someday. I'll tell you someday, but not tonight."

And that was good enough: a promise. Kurt was many things to Blaine. He had layers that not many people knew about. This was a Kurt that Blaine knew was in him somewhere, but never saw. He wondered how many people ever did. Kurt was beautiful, and wonderful, and everything good in this world, no matter how many times Blaine would think that he hated him instead. He put his flannel back on and snapped it all the way up. "Walk me to the door?"

"Of course."

He walked Blaine to the door and sat with him on the porch for a few minutes kissing some more and holding hands. "I don't want to leave," Blaine admitted.

"I don't want you to go." Another long luxurious kiss ensued. "I'm sorry I fought you on this yesterday because the truth is that I had a really great time. I mean, except for that one part, but I'm really happy we did this. It was perfect…_almost._" They chuckled together at the last word knowing that it didn't ruin the night; it only put a small damper on it.

"I worry about you sometimes."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I worry that you're not happy. That's what tonight was. I wanted to make you happy."

"You succeeded. I am happy." Kurt looked at their interlocked fingers and examined their hands turning them over and over. "No one has ever done something like this for me. You don't know what it meant."

"I do know… because it means the same to me." They smiled and kissed softly, enjoying the quiet smacking noises their lips made.

"It's getting late," Kurt stated.

Blaine sighed. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I'll meet you at your locker before lunch ends."

"Okay." About ten seconds passed and no one was moving. They laughed because it was one of those moments where they knew Blaine had to go home, but neither could bring themselves to make him leave.

It wasn't until Blaine was laying in bed, wondering if Kurt was thinking about him, and Kurt was in bed, wondering if Blaine was thinking of him, that they both realized that they were falling in love. It wasn't just caring or liking anymore. It was love. It scared Kurt so much, but then he'd think of Blaine again and the fright would go away.

Then he thought of the boy at the arcade and his chest hurt. He didn't even know the boy's name, but he knew his face and he knew his body. The only thing he could remember about the boy was that he used to be called Bobby, but Kurt knew that wasn't his real name. Flashes popped into his head of memories that he'd tried to bury away. He tried to think of Blaine to make the memories go away, but it wasn't working. It wasn't working. He felt shame and sorrow and _if only Blaine knew_. _He'd hate me._ Kurt rolled over and wrapped himself around the oversized Jamaican banana Blaine won for him and inhaled his scent from the tank top that he put on it. Tears stung his eyes. His chest hurt so incredibly bad. His arms clung to the banana tighter. Then he broke. He gasped for air as his cries came out loud and harsh. Tears ran down his cheeks and soaked the banana like a rain storm.

_One night,_ he thought again. _I couldn't have one fucking night of happiness? Why? Why me? _It was a slap in the face to think that just when he tried to turn his messed up life around, he was reminded that one event could remind him that normalcy and good things were not meant for him.

* * *

**Please don't hate me! I know it ends kind of sad, but I wanted to show how Kurt and Blaine are changing. Kurt sees someone from his past and is devastated by the memory (Yes, you will get to know what it is eventually). Blaine is becoming stronger and more open to leading. Kurt is rubbing off on Blaine and Blaine is rubbing off on Kurt. *Has anyone else been noticing this a little?***

**BUT! At least now they're at LOVE! LOVE LOVE LOVE! :P**

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	16. Chapter 16

**Someone told me that all they wanted for Christmas was chapter 16. It's officially Christmas on the East Coast of America. So, Merry Christmas and happy reading!**

**I'm going to say that this isn't edited because I was more concerned with getting the chapter out, but I hope you can look past that.**

* * *

**Chapter 16**

Monday was a good day for Blaine. He woke up happy and a smile was always present on his face through the morning. Once, he saw Kurt standing among his friends in the hallway and his smile spread wider before turning back to his locker to transfer books for his next class. Above the din, he could just pick out delicate chuckle that was Kurt's laugh. He didn't care what it was that made him laugh; he only cared that Kurt was laughing. It was a strange feeling. Just the sound of Kurt's voice made Blaine's heart swell. That beautiful voice spoke to him and its owner held his hand last night. The memory of the date made the short teen giddy. Confidence consumed him and Blaine Anderson walked a little taller that day.

At lunch, Tina questioned Blaine why he was so happy, but Blaine said that he was just in a good mood and excited for Sectionals this coming weekend. She bought it. Everyone bought it. No one would guess that Blaine went on a date with the teen royal, Kurt Hummel. His attention was diverted between his friends and looking at Kurt's normal lunch table of jocks and wondering why Kurt wasn't there. He left at his normal time to go to his locker, knowing that Kurt said he'd meet him there. His heart pounded with every step and took his time at his locker, waiting for Kurt to show up.

…

After the emotional rollercoaster that was the night before, Kurt's feet were dragging at school. He wore his trademark smirk and acted as if nothing was wrong. Outwardly, nothing was wrong. On the inside, he was exhausted. Seeing the boy from his past at the arcade reminded him of so many things he wasn't ready to talk about. Who would understand? Who could possibly make everything okay?

On his way into first period, a classmate reminded him that they made plans to finish a presentation during lunch and when Kurt tried to shoot a text to Blaine to let him know he wouldn't be able to meet him at his locker when he said he would, the teacher took his phone away. This was certainly not his day and it had only begun. He shot a glare at Karofsky, who sat next to him. The football player was snickering and trying to hold in a comment or two.

He handed in his homework and zoned out the rest of class because it was boring and he'd rather replay the good things about last night in his head. Long, dark eyelashes that curtained hazel eyes, soft lips, and entwined fingers played the leads roles in his day dreams for the next fifty minutes. By the end of the class, he had no idea what he was supposed to have learned, but he didn't care. The less than par teacher was probably just lecturing what he was supposed to read for homework anyway.

During third period, he ran into Karofsky in the bathroom. He asked him to give Blaine a message for him.

"So, how was your weekend?" Dave asked when he was sure that no one was in the restroom but them.

"You know how my weekend was. I called you Saturday."

"What did you do Sunday?"

"I hung out with Blaine." His expression softened for a second only, but it was long enough for Dave to notice the change.

"Was it a date?"

_Shit_, Kurt thought. This was the stipulation that Blaine and he agreed on. Dave, however, would know the difference and reality. He'd never be able to keep the memory of last night just for himself. It would be analyzed and asked about in detail by his bearcub friend until Kurt no longer thought about it the way he did now. "That's what he's calling it, but I have free reign to say he just hung out."

"Okay." Dave chuckled, knowing the truth behind Kurt's words.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kurt questioned.

"Nothing. Was it fun?"

Dave's lack of detail oriented questioning, like Kurt's previous thought, was odd. "Yeah," he answered with furrowed brow. "We went to an arcade."

"That's all?"

"Looking for the sexy, dirty details?" The slender boy washed his hands and dried them on a paper towel.

"Can you blame me?"

"Not getting jealous, are you?" The comment was sarcastic, but a second after he said it, he hoped that it wasn't true because, other than Blaine, Dave was his only real friend at this school that knew his secret. He didn't have to hide from Dave Karofsky.

"A little, but only because you get him and I don't."

"Oh!" The admission surprised Kurt. He hadn't thought for a second that Karofsky might like Blaine. Of course, Blaine was attractive and he saw the pass Dave made at Blaine in the locker room weeks ago, but hadn't thought much of it because Blaine was his. _Wasn't he_? Kurt established his dominance as if Blaine were property to be claimed a while ago and knew that his friend would never move in on something Kurt claimed. "I didn't know you liked him."

Dave smiled. "Now, that's a look if I ever saw one." It was a chore not to laugh at the wary, surprised expression Kurt wore. "You don't seem to like thinking of someone else wanting what's yours."

"It doesn't matter if you like him or not."

"I know it doesn't… Because he wants you."

Uncomfortability set in. He didn't want to have this conversation. "I have to get back to class."

"I'm sure Advanced Calculus is riveting."

"Why do you want to know things that you already know the answer to? It's annoying."

"Because sometimes it's good to say it. I'm being a good friend and giving you a chance to let it all out."

"If I wanted to puke rainbow emotions I'd let you know."

"Is it really so hard to just say that you went on a date; an actual date with Blaine Anderson, had a great time, and you like him?"

"Yes." He didn't sound convincing at all, but that was because he wasn't trying. He was just giving his friend an answer so that he could leave. Kurt tossed his paper towel in the waste basket. "I'll see you later. Don't forget to give Blaine my message."

"Seems awfully important to you when it's for someone that doesn't mean much."

"You need to get laid. Maybe if you get your dick sucked then you'll stay out of my business. I'll take you to Scandals tomorrow."

Karofsky chuckled again. "You're such a good friend."

Kurt playfully blew Dave a kiss. "I'm an asshole. I know."

"But the best kind." They exchanged smiles. "See you later, closet case."

….

"Hey."

Blaine turned upon hearing a voice that wasn't Kurt's. Karofsky was leaning against a locker to his left. "Hi," Blaine greeted awkwardly. He still wasn't used to talking to Dave Karofsky on friendly terms.

"Kurt asked me to meet you here and tell you that he's stuck working on a presentation in the library."

"Why didn't he just text me?"

The football player laughed. "He got it taken away this morning in first period."

"Seriously?!"

"Yeah. He'll get it back at the end of the day, but it's still funny. Imagine Kurt for one second without his phone." Dave eyes shined when he laughed, something Blaine never noticed before. It made Dave seem nicer in Blaine's mind because, surely, a bully's eyes wouldn't look so pleasant. "Thank god is dad is the state congressman because I think that Kurt would have blown up if he wasn't always thinking about his dad's image. His teeth clenched so hard I was convinced all those pearly whites were going to shatter."

A mental note was stored to start looking for nice things about Dave Karofsky so that Blaine's mind would be trained to think of him as, perhaps, a friend instead of the instant reaction of someone who was about to shove him into the lockers. His honey eyes glowed as he widened them in shock. "Wow. Okay. Thanks for the message." There was a clunk from the sound of Blaine putting a book down in the locker.

Karofsky cleared his throat. "So, uh- how are you feeling… after, ya know?" The tone had changed with that one sentence.

Blaine swallowed hard. "Fine now. It's weird not remembering anything and I woke up feeling like my head was ripped from a cement wall, but otherwise I'm fine."

"Good. I was worried. Kurt told me you were okay, but you know Kurt."

"Yes. I do. He likes to pretend he doesn't care." He turned back to his locker.

"So, uh- you've got, like, this thing for Kurt, right?"

Blaine turned back to Dave, feeling awkward again. "Why?"

"I mean, it's obvious, but I was just wondering."

_Was it that obvious? _Blaine thought. _Or was it just obvious to Karofsky because he knows the truth about Kurt_? "Why?"

"Well, it just- um- I've seen him in the bars and around other guys," Blaine clenched his fingers around his messenger bag strap, "and he's different when it comes to you. I think he actually cares. Well, I mean, I know he cares, otherwise he wouldn't have acted the way he did when you took the roofie for him."

"How did he act?" The shorter boy's interest was peaked and his eyebrows flattened. Kurt barely covered what happened in detail and it never occurred to Blaine, until now, to ask more.

Karofsky's hand rubbed the back of his head and his eyes went wide. "He totally tweaked out. He broke the guy's nose and I had to peel him off that guy before he killed him."

"He did that?"

"Yeah. I've never seen him lose control before. It was scary for a minute."

There was an awkward silence at both boys looked that the floor and fumbled. "Can I ask you another question?"

"Sure," he answered slowly.

"How often do you two, like, hook up, or whatever?"

Blaine toed the ground, feeling the blush creep up his ears. He put his hands in his pockets not knowing what to do with that. "Um." he coughed. "Less than you two probably." Eye contact was not something Blaine could do right now.

Dave looked confused. "Kurt and I haven't done anything together since you caught us. Didn't he tell you?" Blaine shook his head. "It was his idea. He said it was because he didn't want to make a habit of being with the same person too much, but I knew it was because of you. He tried to act like it didn't matter that you saw us, but he wasn't very good at keeping it a secret. It was written all over him that he wished you wouldn't have seen."

If there was one thing Blaine had to give Dave credit for, it was that he was certainly observant. He saw a lot more than what other people did, more than Blaine even. "You think so?" he asked.

"Definitely. Like I said, he's different with you. I don't know what you're doing, but you're changing him a little."

Blaine looked down at the floor for a few moments, thinking and taking in the new information. He didn't want to change Kurt. Or maybe he did, but never knew it. Kurt was perfect the way he was. Maybe it wasn't change Blaine was after. Perhaps it was just… _more_. He raised his eyes and bit his lip before continuing. "Do you two ever talk?"

"In a serious sense?"

"Yeah."

"No. Not really."

"Oh." Blaine's hope for more insight was gone. _Kurt really doesn't talk to anyone, does he?_

"Were you hoping for a little girl talk between friends?" Dave chuckled. "We don't talk about things like that. He's a pretty private person."

"He is."

"Say, who's that Eli kid you were with at Scandals?"

"Just a friend. He goes to North Lima High. Interested?" he added playfully.

"Not remotely. He's not my type. I don't go for the skinny, dainty guys."

Blaine's eyebrows went up because that's what Kurt was. The bigger boy picked up on that. "Kurt was different. It was just physical. Besides, I'm pretty sure that Eli is into you hard."

"Kurt says that too, but I don't see it. We hang out and we talk, but any flirting that happens is in a joking manner."

"And you're into Kurt?"

Blaine just stared. He was into Kurt, but it was weird saying it out loud; to _Karofsky_ of all people. "This is so weird," he stated. "You and me talking like this."

"I know. You wouldn't have thought we would be a few months ago, would you?"

"Definitely not." The bell rang and the hallways flooded with students. "Alright. Thanks. I'll see you later." The two boys parted ways and Blaine continued on his way to art class, hoping Kurt would be there and not skipping.

The final bell rang and Kurt stepped into the classroom just before it finished tolling. "I'm not late!" Kurt smiled at the teacher from the doorway.

"Take a seat Mr. Hummel."

Kurt winked at the middle aged woman with out of control hair and clothes that looked decades old. He didn't look at Blaine, which made Blaine's smile dim some, but when the teacher's lecture ended and the students were allowed to start their artwork, his smile returned when he heard Kurt's voice. Puck had gone off to retreive a clay something or other that he'd been working on, leaving Blaine at his table alone, and Kurt's table mate was absent that day. They had the space to themselves for the time being.

"Hey you," Kurt whispered.

Blaine smiled and turned in his seat. His eyes sparkled when he was greeted with a smile in return. "Hey yourself."

"What are you doing after school?"

"Glee practice, then karate."

"What time does karate end?"

"Eight."

"Can you skip it?"

"I can't."

"What if I asked politely? Would you skip it then?"

Blaine then realized that his smile and heart eyes must be prominent at the moment because he knew how he was looking at Kurt. Kurt was being playful and nice and asking for Blaine's time, of all things. "I can't."

"Can you stay out late, at least?"

"Maybe I can eek out an extra hour," he said hopefully. He couldn't believe he was trying to figure this out mentally. Karate days ended at eight then he went home. Convincing his parents of anything that never deviated from schedule was something that would never fly. He's only end up grounded. Maybe he could lie and say that his sensei wanted to work with him privately for a little bit longer, but even so, he wouldn't have an entire hour with Kurt.

An hour wasn't enough for Kurt. He wanted more than an hour. He wanted the whole evening. He sighed, trying to think, but the options were getting smaller. "What if I promised to call it a-" he gulped and quickly glanced around at possible ear shot, "_date_," he whispered so softly, he was almost mouthing it.

Shock clouded Blaine's brain. "What would we do on this…" The word 'date' was also mouthed for Kurt's purposes.

It was then that Kurt knew he was getting headway on what he wanted. He never liked taking no for an answer and, thanks to his father, he was a bit of a spoiled brat. What was worse, was that he knew it too. "I want a re-do." He smiled and started to tap his eraser on the table. "Our first time hanging out was- well, it didn't go as it should have and I want a do-over."

The memory of their first time hanging out surfaced in Blaine's thoughts. Flashes of food, blowjobs, and fights crowded his memory. He couldn't agree with Kurt more. It didn't go as well as it should have. Maybe now that they were getting along and were sharing more moments like last night, things would be better and get easier. He swallowed hard, staring openly at Kurt and weighing the pros and cons of skipping karate. "Okay."

"Okay?" Kurt asked for clarification. "As in…?"

"Okay. I'll skip karate."

Kurt's face lit up as it set in that, once again, he'd gotten his way. "Great." He glanced around again. "Meet me at my house after glee."

"Okay." His heart was beating fast and his mind was swimming, but by the time Blaine answered, Kurt had already gone back to his work and looking away from Blaine. He swiveled back in his seat and tried to get his work done, but by the end of class, the only thing he accomplished was an unfinished sketch of two male hands holding together.

"So, what will we be doing?" Blaine asked as they got ready for gym class.

"Dinner," Kurt answered.

"Anything else?"

"Maybe a movie in the living room. I don't know. I hadn't really thought about it."

There was a brief break in the conversation. Something changed between Kurt's flirtatiousness when he originally asked Blaine to come over and now. He was used to Kurt's mood swings. Because of this, he was ready to get his hopes of any moment that Kurt was going to continue to be nice. "But you thought that you wanted to hang out with me?" Blaine tested.

The gym shirt Kurt held in his hands stilled as he stopped his motions of putting it on. He hadn't thought of it the way Blaine had. He really just wanted to spend time with Blaine with no constraints. "We can finish our project too," he added like it was nothing. "All my artwork is done. We just have to pick which ones to arrange in a portfolio." Neither one spoke to add to the conversation. Their silence was overshadowed by the loud boys on the other end of the locker room. Kurt and Blaine could probably shout out expletives while they fucked each other and the Neanderthals on the other end wouldn't hear them.

Blaine wasn't saying anything, but Kurt could practically hear his thoughts. He knew he wasn't acting very nice. He was happy when he asked Blaine to come over, and now he was acting like his usual, unimpressed self. It was a natural reaction, something he was trying to work on. Blaine's silence told him that he was giving Blaine the idea that tonight was only going to end in a fight. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and turned to look at the olive skinned teen. "I'm having a really bad day," he confessed. The comment came out and surprised Kurt for saying it. He pulled on his shirt and straddled to bench Blaine was sitting on, tying his shoes. His hand rested on Blaine's as he twisted the laces, stilling him. There was an overwhelming feeling to make things less stale with Blaine for the time being.

"Because you got your phone taken away?"

"There's that… and because I'm tired. See, I was on a date with a really great guy last night and I stayed up worrying if he was mad that I didn't put out at the end of the night." The last part was an embellishment, but it got Blaine to smile.

The mood lightened and Blaine chuckled, tiny dimples showing around the crook of his mouth. "No you weren't."

Kurt returned the smile. "No, but it sounded good didn't it?"

"You're something else." Kurt shrugged. "Is that why you wanted to hang out tonight? Because you're having a bad day?"

"Yes." His thumb was absently caressing the other boy's fingers. _When had I started doing that?_ he thought.

Blaine didn't say what he was thinking because Kurt was making so many big steps recently and he didn't want to do anything that might make Kurt re-think things. However, he was thinking that he was on cloud nine because the fact that Kurt wanted Blaine around to make him feel better was astronomically huge. Butterflies filled his stomach.

"I'm sorry. I can see it on your face what it means to you for me to ask for your time. I don't want you to think that it means any less to me than it does for you. I know I can act like a jerk. The reality that I'm fighting is that whenever I'm happy, I turn it around and get mean."

"I know."

"I wish you didn't. I'm not an easy person to be around."

"Are you trying to get rid of me?"

"No! I'm not really saying this right, but what I'm trying to say is that I've given you every reason to hate me, but you don't. And I'm probably the meanest to you, but that's only because you make me feel the happiest."

"Why do you do that? Why don't you let yourself be happy?"

"Defense mechanism."

Blaine knew what those two words meant. They meant the same thing as: I don't want to talk about it. "Will you tell me some day?"

It took Kurt a second, but he finally nodded his head. "Some day I'll tell you."

On the drive from Glee practice to Kurt's house, Blaine called his sensei and told him that he had to miss practice today. Then he called his mom and told her that he was planning on spending an extra hour in the gym so he'd be home late. His mother was none the wiser. Blaine helped Kurt cook dinner by chopping vegetables and making a salad. Everything from walking into the house to eating dinner seemed very domestic to Blaine and he wondered if Kurt felt the same. He didn't want to ask though because he didn't want to scare him. They cleaned up together and settled on watching a movie in Kurt's room instead of the living room. Blaine had a feeling it was because Kurt mentioned wanting to recreate their first time hanging out, but wanting to make it better. He wasn't going to say no, nor did he want to. If the night happened to end in fooling around, Blaine couldn't think of any reason to protest. There was nothing for Kurt to apologize for and he was being nice, so there would be no regretting any actions.

They watched The Breakfast Club without doing anything. They discussed how hot Emilio Estevez and Judd Nelson were back then and how Judd Nelson aged better than Emilio Estevez. Kurt leaned into Blaine's chest with his left hand cuffed around Blaine's leg, while Blaine draped his right arm around Kurt's shoulders. It was comfortable and not at all awkward. Kurt would mention every now and then how Blaine's heart was beating hard. When the movie ended, Kurt got up to put in another one, but the movie never got passed the disc menu because when Kurt crawled back onto the bed to resume their position, Blaine couldn't take the tension anymore. Wondering if anything was going to happen, wondering if he was going to be shot down like last night, not knowing how long Kurt's nice streak was going to last, wanting to kiss him and wondering if Kurt wanted to the same thing; it was all too much for Blaine to handle and the more he wondering if Kurt wanted to kiss him back, he wanted to kiss Kurt that much more. He could feel stirring below his jeans and guffawed to himself at the knowledge that just the mere thought of kissing Kurt made him horny. He caught Kurt's face between his hands and pulled him into a deep kiss. He hadn't meant for it to go further, but sometimes things don't go as planned.

The tension escalated quickly and Kurt was making no indications of having plans to stop. He responded to Blaine's touch so effortlessly. He crawled into Blaine's lap, straddling his thighs. Their deep kiss turned into a fast paced ebb and flow of tongues brushing against one another, swallowing the tastes of their counterpart, and deep breaths in between connected and disconnected lips.

Before Blaine even knew what was happening, he felt Kurt's mellow hip gyrations against his rapidly growing erection. He slipped his hands underneath the lithe boy's shirt and felt the silken skin beneath. If there was one thing Blaine was certain of, it was that he would never get over the feeling of being close to Kurt. Nothing could explain why he felt the way he did for him, he just did and knew the age old saying of _you can't choose the ones you love_. Fingers clenched into his gelled hair as he sucked on a spot behind Kurt's ear. The moment was filled with heat and passion that he almost missed that Kurt was saying something.

"Did you hear me? I said: I want you. Blaine?" The voice was so breathy and vulnerable that it was hard to imagine the same voice being demanding, which was how it was meant to be.

A baritoned moan left Blaine's lungs. "I want you too."

The fingers in Blaine's hair left and trailed down to the hem of Blaine's shirt. They stopped there. "All of you," he clarified. "I want all of you."

The melting of caramel would be the only way to describe the color of Blaine's eyes as Kurt looked into them, seeing nerves and affection. Maybe there was a hint of questioning there as well, but Kurt wasn't sure. His only thought was that he didn't want Blaine to stop touching him and he wanted this experience with this boy so badly. It wasn't just a feeling in his loins, it was an emotion in his heart that he didn't want to go away. The way Blaine looked at him, the gentle way he touched him even when a kiss was full of passion, the way Blaine said and did everything with Kurt in mind… it was enough to tare his entire mind apart. Who was this boy who was able to take every barrier that he put up between himself and everything else and bulldoze it to the ground? The whole thing was so very overwhelming for Kurt and he fought against his want to ruin the moment. He would have turned it into a scene from a porno movie or teased the fuck out of Blaine, then insulted him, ensuring another fight. But he promised to be nice. He promised to try harder. He made promises to Blaine, and himself, and his dad that he both did and didn't want to fulfill. Kurt Hummel was many things, but strong or reliable were not words that he would use to describe himself. His father might, but he himself certainly wouldn't.

Blaine swallowed hard, his breathing already picking up and his chest growing warm. He'd never had intercourse before, at least, not with a real person. He'd fingered himself and Kurt had fingered him last weekend. He had a dildo that used occasionally. It wasn't that bottoming wasn't pleasing, Blaine merely figured himself to be more of top. Which one was Kurt? Was he versatile as well, or was he more one than the other? Did he have any expectations of Blaine's performance? Questions like these were what swam through Blaine's head. When he realized he had taken too long to answer, he saw the soft doubt on Kurt's face. Rejection was not something that Kurt took well apparently. Or maybe it was just the thought of Blaine rejecting him that had Kurt looking hurt.

The curly haired boy arched up and cupped the side of Kurt's jaw. He kissed him slowly and languorously as if time were slowed enough to be almost nonexistent. "I want all of you too," he whispered. He had an unbelievable pull in his chest to say one tiny little sentence that he knew to be true last night, but was sure it would scare Kurt off and send him running. So, he kept it to himself. He could say it in his head all he wanted. Another gulp was pushed down his throat. "I want you."

Before Blaine could think another thought, Kurt pulled Blaine's shirt up over his head. His hands quickly returned to Blaine's warm skin, making a quiet slapping noise as he grasped onto him and went back to kissing. Blaine followed Kurt's actions by unbuttoning Kurt's shirt and slipping it off his arms. He tried to throw it, but Kurt was holding him so tightly again, that his range of motion was constricted.

Chest to chest, Blaine's little hairs tickled Kurt's skin. His eyes were shut and Blaine kissed down Kurt's neck and across his shoulder with his hands placed solidly on Kurt's lower back and between his shoulder blades. He clumsily tried to turn Kurt and guide him onto his back, but only ended up dropping his lover onto the mattress and pillows. It didn't deter or bother Kurt in the slightest. He bounced the tiniest of lengths and he smiled as Blaine crowded over him and between his legs.

The shorter boy tugged off Kurt's socks and tossed them over his shoulder, not caring where they landed. On his knees, he mouthed a kiss in the hollow of Kurt's left ankle that was stretched above Blaine's right shoulder. _He really has long legs,_ he randomly thought.

The act was so personal that Kurt fought against flinching his foot because of the sensitive tickling sensation. No one had ever done that before and a brief thought went through his head that maybe Blaine had a foot fetish, but let the thought go because it wasn't important right now. He pulled his partner down so that their bodies were flush up against each other again and their lips molded together once more. It seemed as if Kurt would never get enough of kissing Blaine. The way his he tasted and the way his tongue touched his was better than any flavor of guy he'd kissed before. Even better than his first kiss. For a moment, he wished Blaine had been his first kiss. His first and only. He'd be a lot better off than he was today, but that was another thought that was pushed away because he needed to concentrate on the present time. Now was not a time for remenicing on things in the past that he could not change. The here and now was Blaine and that was way better than something that happened three years ago.

Their groins gyrated and grinded together. This was one of those times where Kurt hated that skinny jeans were so in fashion because they were so damn tight and constricting. Those non-stretch denim prisons weren't allowing his dick to move the way it wanted to at all and it was getting more than a little constricting the more they kissed and dry humped against each other. Those stupid jeans needed to go. _His too,_ he thought. Kurt slipped his hands between their hips and started to finger Blaine's belt. It took a whole three seconds to undo the belt, flick the button free, and pull the zipper. He was a professional.

Blaine knelt up, his mind flooded with lust and longing. He looked down, dragging his fingers down Kurt's toned chest and abs. Complete disbelief was one of the three things in his mind. How someone so beautiful could want him so unabatedly. He gulped and tried to catch his breath as he quickly moved to replace Kurt's hands, who was currently working on undoing his own pants. "Let me," Blaine demanded caringly. He meant for it to come out as a sexy purr, but his nerves and drive to please the one he cared for so much was showing.

Kurt helped him, but Blaine unbuttoned the jeans, unzipped the fly, and pulled Kurt's pants off. He was happy for the help because these jeans were unbelievably tight and it made him wonder how Kurt got them on in the first place. They needed to be peeled off like a layer of skin. He had seen him in boxers, briefs, and even in his tiny swim speedo almost every day in the locker room, even today, but not once did he notice Kurt wearing a jockstrap. He knew men wore them. Hell, he had a few of his own that weren't for sport purposes. If there was one item of clothing that he found utterly and wholly sexy on a man, it was a jockstrap. His level of being turned on just increased tenfold. Not to mention Kurt's very prominent dick looked like it was begging to bust out of it. His breath caught.

The other teen sat up, putting his hands on Blaine's hips. He read his partner's mind perfectly. "See anything you like?" he asked.

"I see a lot that I like. How did you know? Wait, did you know," he lightly tugged on the strap, "that these are a major turn on for me?"

Kurt smirked pulling Blaine closer. "No, but I'll keep that in mind." He nibbled and mouthed Blaine's chest and nipples. "Come on. Let's get you out of those." The mattress wobbled as Kurt shifted his weight to move him and Blaine off of it.

The shorter boy caught Kurt's hand, realizing there was no going back now. "Wait. When you said you wanted all of me. You meant- We're actually going to do this, right?"

The delicate features on Kurt's face narrowed in suspicion. "That is what you want, isn't it?" His heart twisted, hoping Blaine wasn't feeling pressured. That was the last thing he wanted right now. "We're not going to do anything you don't want to do."

"No!" Blaine stopped Kurt with a nervous smile. "I want to. Really, I do. It's just-"

"I know you're a virgin," the lithe boy confirmed, knowing where the curly haired boy was contemplating about. "It's okay. We'll be perfect."

It was like Kurt could read Blaine's mind and knew exactly what he was thinking. It made him less self-conscious and he mentally thanked, possibly even fell harder, for Kurt. "I don't want to be boring because I know you're more experienced and better at this than me."

Kurt placed a soft kiss on Blaine's lips and brushed his cheek. "I doubt you could be boring. And if your inexperience bothered me, we wouldn't be doing any of this." He kissed Blaine longer and more languid this time. "You make me happy, Blaine." Just that admission alone was ten times more intimate than Kurt had been with anyone in years. Sex was just sex, but emotions were real to Kurt. "I want you… all of you." Their eyes bore together, seeing a never ending tunnel. "Do you want me too?" In the seconds before Blaine answered, Kurt thought he might die if Blaine said no.

"Yes. Yes, of course I want you." His voice was soft and filled with feeling. "I've always wanted you." He paused bashfully, trying to weigh the words that were about to spill from his lips. "In fact, I don't think I could ever want anyone more." The curtains shut on Blaine's eyes and he nuzzled his lover's hand against his cheek before his lashes curtained open once more to show Kurt all Blaine's vulnerability. _I love you_, he thought.

They kissed again, even slower and softer than their last. Blaine could feel Kurt's pounding heart and Kurt could feel his. He wrapped the shorter boy's hands around him, guiding him through his possible nerves and insecurities.

Blaine slid his hands down and grasped the soft skin of his lover's ass, kneading it as he let his hand tense and relax. Kurt moaned and crouched down low. With an innocent face, he looked up, while he guided the jeans still hanging off Blaine's hips down to the floor. He nibbled and mouthed on the inner right thigh. Next came the boxer briefs clinging to the boy before him. He pulled those down and moved to suck on the inner left thigh the way he did to the right.

A wet, breathy moan came from the olive skinned boy and he opened his eyes to look down upon the beautiful face that kissed his legs. "D-Do you have a c-condom?" He was just able to get the question out.

Kurt smiled and stood up. The rug under his feet seemed to tickle his sensitive skin. _Hmm, that's new._ He took the top off of a decorative urn and looked in. _One left,_ he thought. His index and middle fingers snatched the condom and extracted it from the urn. It made a crinkle noise in his grasp. When he brought it over to Blaine, he could see the question written on his face. _Who get's it?_ They both stared at it for a second before Kurt took a breath and extended the invitation to Blaine.

Being a top or bottom was never usually this questioning for Kurt. Mostly, he was a top, but never said no to someone who was also a top. Bottoming was thrilling, but that would leave him with less control and that wasn't something he liked. When he first started having sex, he was a sole bottom and had no complaints. The feeling of being filled completely, held so tight he thought he might break like a pinched grape, it was overwhelming in the best possible way. But that was in the past and he had to remind himself not to mix the past with the present because the present with Blaine was so much better.

"Y-you're sure?" Blaine stuttered.

Kurt kissed Blaine gently and opened the foil surrounding the slippery rubber. He pinched the tip and received a gasped moan from Blaine when he started to roll it onto him. _Is this answer enough for you?_ He chuckled outwardly at both his thought and Blaine's reaction. He glanced down at Blaine's very large cock, surprised that his normal sized condom even fit to begin with. "Just, um… I may need a long time to be stretched before you start." He flicked his eyes down again, holding back the urge to whistle. Now it was his turn to be nervous. He was excited and so turned on at the thought of being fucked by something so big, but there was the fear that he would be ripped in two. "Slow, okay?"

Blaine nodded and that was that. Kurt sweetly guided him through things that he had only seen on the internet and maybe done to himself a handful of times. In his head it seemed easy, but performing the acts was a little different because what he liked wasn't necessarily what Kurt liked and that was normal. But Kurt never chastised Blaine or acted impatient. He was kind, romantic even.

And Kurt was right, it did take a long time for him to be stretched and prepped properly. Neither teen was complaining though. Blaine liked giving Kurt all the attention for once and it only turned him on more to hear Kurt moan, laugh, and see his scrunched up face in pleasure all at the same time. He didn't stop until he was able to comfortably finger four of his digits in and out of Kurt. Lots of lube was involved and plenty of strokes went to Kurt's naked cock. Blaine didn't think it could get any better than that because watching his lover with the swimmer's body writhe in ultimate pleasure, gasp, moan, and say Blaine's name in the sexiest voice ever, was making it easy to forget that Kurt would soon tell him that he was ready for Blaine to take the place of his fingers. But when the time came, he flipped Kurt onto his back, put a pillow under him by request of Kurt, and thrust in slowly. He'd never felt anything like it. He moaned in ecstasy and was rewarded by Kurt with a moan of his own, along with a very loud and enthused "Oh fuck! Oh god."

Three very slow and long thrusts in, and Blaine wasn't sure he would last much longer, but Kurt's little touches here and there and exclamations of how huge Blaine's dick was kept his mind occupied enough to not be finished yet. He'd often look down on the boy beneath him and be in so much awe at how lucky he was that this experience was with him. Getting lost in Kurt's beauty and rise and fall of his chest was easy. These moments were so perfect that he never wanted it to end.

Kurt was feeling very full and stretched as much as he'd ever been. There was a small amount of pain, but the pleasure far outweighed the negative. There was nothing spectacular, aside from the obvious size difference between Blaine's cock and every other one he'd seen, about their current love making. It was normal and… _sweet?_ Kurt knew Blaine was going slow for Kurt's benefit and was probably worried about being either boring or too much like a porn star, but whatever he was doing was perfect. His touch was perfect; his sounds were perfect. He cared. Kurt would open his eyes and see the way Blaine was looking at him. It took his breath away. He wished for a moment that Blaine was his first. In that solitary second, he saw all the things that he'd done and knew that had he'd known Blaine would have been in his future, he wouldn't have done any of them. He was scared that maybe he'd never be able to change enough to be good enough for Blaine. The very thought frightened him to the core for so many reasons. Mainly, his first instinct was to be scared that he was even thinking of letting someone in, but his second thought was that if he wasn't able to change, how long would it take for him to lose the blushing boy above him? Then Blaine gave a harder thrust, accompanied by a gasped moan, and Kurt was brought back to the moment.

The harder he thrust, the harder it was to hold himself together, but the harder he thrust also elicited the best noises from his lover. He picked up his pace some and held tight to Kurt's legs for leverage. It was easier to thrust and thrust at an even pace if he could bring Kurt to him and push him away.

"Oh my god!" Kurt screamed. "Holy fuck. I can't feel my legs. Harder! Don't stop!" It seemed that there was no possible way, that with the length that Blaine was, Blaine could not help, but hit Kurt's prostate and send him into a frenzy again and again.

Blaine's legs were going numb as well and he was finding it harder to stay kneeling the way he was. So, with Kurt's assistance and assurance, he laid down on his side, spooning Kurt from behind, and continued gyrating his hips the way Kurt liked it. He pushed harder and faster, sometimes holding his breath because the sensation of everything was getting to him and caused him to forget to breath. With the boy held tightly in his arms and their moans synchronized, Kurt came first, screaming incoherent noises and words. Finally, Blaine felt it was okay to let go himself and filled the condom with his cum.

Kurt went silent, but his heartbeat was loud and his breathing sounded more like a hum. It wasn't an awkward feeling, but Blaine didn't know what to do from here. Clean up, obviously, but when? If he got up now, would it seem inconsiderate of Kurt's feelings? He didn't want to do that. Hell, he didn't want to get up at all, but the feeling of a cum filled condom wasn't one that he liked. _Kurt's in my arms, I can stick it out longer,_ he thought happily and nuzzled his face into Kurt's hair. He still smelled amazing.

Kurt's mind was reeling. He didn't even care that it didn't last long or wasn't anything special. What he cared about was the boy behind him that still held him and didn't seem in a hurry to leave. That meant the world to him. Maybe deep down this is what he always wanted, someone who wouldn't want to just fuck and then be done with him. He certainly felt that's all he deserved, but for some reason, Blaine didn't think that. Blaine always thought the best of Kurt and that never made sense to the pale skinned boy. He wasn't very nice and often turned against Blaine for his own secret reasons. There was still the battle in his head over what was the right thing to do and how could he ever let Blaine know how much he actually felt about him and their experience right now.

Fifteen minutes went by and both boys had cleaned up together and laid back down in Kurt's bed. Everything was quiet. The movie never played. No music was playing. It was just them: two boys laying together and listening to their breathing. Kurt's chest was soft. He didn't have chest hair, but Blaine knew that already from seeing him in the locker room. He wanted to nuzzle his face against Kurt's pectoral, but he knew his had stubble growing and didn't want to scratch his lover. So, he laid there, still and content with listening to the sound of Kurt's breathing and feeling the strumming heartbeat beneath the creamy skin.

The taller boy's fingers played with the loose curls that popped free from their gelled prison. His other hand twisted with Blaine's. There were two things that happened that he hadn't done in a very _very_ long time. 1) He was cuddling post sex. For years now, his sexual exploits have always been almost clinical to the point where it was only about getting off and then parting ways. Cuddling was not something he did, but here he was: comfortably laying beneath Blaine Anderson and not wanting to ruin the moment. And 2) He bottomed. It had been a while since he bottomed. For reasons he wasn't fully ready to express yet, he summed it up in his head to wanting to feel in control. In his mind, to bottom was to let your pleasure be dictated by the other person, but being a top was being in control of your own pleasure and the other person's pleasure as well. He always needed that control. "Do you feel different?" he asked after a long silence.

"No." He head popped up off of Kurt's chest and looked at him slightly alarmed. "Sh-Should I?" The nerves that had long since departed from when they met, returned.

Kurt grinned. "No. Some people expect to feel different after having sex for the first time."

"We've had sex before…" His chin rested down and he continued to look Kurt in the face while they spoke. "Not this kind, but…" He paused, feeling the nerves make his heart thrum faster. "I felt different after the first time we kissed and after the first time we hooked up... But not now." Fingers found their way together again. "Now I just feel happy."

Kurt craned his neck and leaned as far forward as his neck would let him. He kissed Blaine's forehead and let the back of the fingers of his freehand brush Blaine's cheek. "I'm happy too."

The miraculous thing was that Blaine knew what Kurt really meant by his three word comment. Yes, he meant that he was happy, but what he really meant was _You_ make me happy. This was something Blaine knew Kurt would have killed himself to say. He didn't know how much of things were going to go back to normal or how long this infinite comfort and joy would last. But, for now, he was content to have it for now because it was a long time coming and a miracle that it was happening at all.

* * *

**I struggled with the love scene a lot because I wasn't sure if I wanted it to be detailed or more about feelings. I went with the latter because there are so many smut scenes (I have a number of them) that are very graphic and read more like an porn than anything else. I wanted Blaine's first time to be like most people's first time. There was nothing spectacular about it and when described to an outsider, it would seem a little boring. So, if it seemed boring to read, I wrote it that way on purpose.**

**As a side note, this chapter was re-written several times and just did not want to be written. I think this was the first chapter with sex in it that I did not enjoy writing because it was so hard.**

**So, I apologize if it doesn't read easy.**

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: grace-ryan**

**Merry Christmas Lovelies!**


	17. Chapter 17

******Happy New Year my lovelies!**

**Thank you so much for making this year amazing! I hope you like the new chapter. It's a roller coaster, but I'm at a place where I'm satisfied with it.**

* * *

**Chapter 17**

Blaine went home Monday night from Kurt's house with a smile on his face. When he absolutely had to leave, Kurt walked him to his car and kissed him before getting in. He didn't act like a jerk and it was the first time Blaine ever left the Hummel house on good terms with Kurt. Up until this point, the two times he'd been there, Kurt had started a fight just to get Blaine out of the house. This time, Kurt hadn't really wanted Blaine to leave, but knew he had to. Not everyone could have a house to themselves like Kurt did.

He grabbed his book bag and sat in front of the television to finish his homework. He watched the news so that he could contribute to a conversation with his father and in current events class. There was an article about a man who was a teacher at Dalton Academy who was convicted of multiple counts of owning child pornography and having relations with students and minors. Kurt gulped. This was a story he already knew about. It'd been all over the news for months now and the trial was finally over. It took months to gather all of the evidence against him because there was so many. No to mention the amount of people that came forward to testify against the teacher. The man was going away for life. They showed a picture of him at the sentencing trial. He'd lost a lot of weight and looked like he was in a constant state of repair from being beaten in prison. Kurt felt no remorse for whatever that man got.

The next day, he sat in class and it wasn't surprising that the trial was the main topic of discussion. It was common knowledge that Kurt had transferred from Dalton after the completion of last year. One of the jocks piped up and brought that to the forefront of the discussion, hoping that Kurt would have some insight.

"Kurt, you went to Dalton, didn't you?" Mike Dancomb asked inquisitively.

"Yeah." He turned in his chair and adjusted his weight to get comfortable. He had a feeling this was going to be more of an interview than a simple question.

"Did you know him?"

"Kind of. Mr. Malloy was never a teacher of mine, but I knew who he was. Everyone did." It was weird using his name in the formal as if he was still a teacher, but He didn't know him any other way. He wasn't just a person on the screen like he was to the rest of the class. Kurt had been in his presence many times.

"What was he like?"

Kurt thought. There was a difference between the Mr. Malloy he knew and the Mr. Mallow portrayed in the media. There was also a big difference between knowing what he did and being respectful of a teacher. He had no problem thinking the worst possible things of Mr. Malloy. He new too many people who were victims of that monster. "He was a manipulative asshole, who took advantage of his authority. Haven't you heard anything?" Kurt snapped. "He raped those kids and made them do things they didn't want to do." Mrs. Macerson redirected the conversation and Kurt apologized for using a curse word.

"Did you know any of the kids?" A girl from the back of the class asked Kurt a few minutes after the teacher took the attention away from Kurt.

"I knew a lot of them," he answered, licking his lips and rubbing the skin behind his earlobe. "Not all of them, but…" His eyes averted and he cleared his throat. "Well, you've seen the articles. He'd been a Dalton a long time. Who knows how many people he took advantage of over the years."

"Yeah," another brace faced teen chimed in. Kurt was glad for the interruption. "Did anyone see the end of the trial? There were people there from over a decade ago as character witnesses against that guy. They were past victims and they had children of their own. You can only imagine the real number of people he abused and didn't come forward."

"The guy's a fag," Ian commented under his breath.

"Ian," The teacher warned.

This made Kurt mad. "It wasn't about whether or not he was gay or straight. He's a pedophile and a sex addict. He raped and took advantage of both guys and girls. He didn't discriminate. You're a moron if you can't tell the difference."

"What the fuck, Hummel?"

"Ian!" the teacher warned a little harder.

Kurt never liked Ian. He pretended to be cordial because Ian was in the came group of friends Kurt hung around with, but he hated him the second he saw Ian pick on Blaine all those months ago "You're an idiot and didn't do the assignment. If you did, you would have known the story. He may be a sick monster, but he's a person and not a punch line. Even if he is gay, it doesn't give you the right to put your homophobic label on him."

"Christ."

"I'm not kidding. He's a rapist. Feel free to hate him. But hate him because he's a disgusting prick and not because he's gay."

"How is your father's campaign going about hate crimes in schools?" another student asked.

Kurt wasn't sure and didn't care if the girl was being ironic or not. He stared daggers at Ian. "It could be better," he said through his teeth.

"Didn't the trial get national news because of your dad?"

Kurt looked away from Ian and took a deep breath, trying to calm his facial expressions. He was nothing if he couldn't retain his own control. "He used it as a stepping stone for more thorough background checks in schools and wanted to reach out to the victims and their families to offer support. He held a couple fundraisers and raised over a million dollars for victims to get all expenses paid help if they wanted it." A flush of pride went through his body. He knew it already, but it was always a good feeling when he thought of his father as someone who could make a difference and be the light at the end of the tunnel for people. He loved his father for what he'd done during the length of this trial. The school had tried to keep it a secret, but it was Burt Hummel who brought the news into the open because the case was far to grotesque to let slide under the radar. The administrators of Dalton Academy knew that parents would start pulling kids from the school and enrollment drop with the news got out that they hired a child rapist. Mr. Malloy was one of the reasons Kurt was taken out of that school to begin with. At least in public school, Kurt could be where Burt felt he was safe: under his own roof.

When the bell rang, he packed his stuff up in record speed and shot a text to Blaine. **Skip lunch and meet me in the bathroom by the art room?**

**Sure!**

**See you then.**

Blaine sent Kurt a smiley face emoticon and smiled himself at his phone screen. He didn't know about Kurt's class. In his mind, after the night before and how happy Blaine felt, he had it in his head that maybe Kurt felt the same way and just wanted to see him.

Lunchtime came and Kurt bodily pulled Blaine into the handicapped stall and kissed him. Full of passion, he held his lover tight and dipped his tongue into Blaine's mouth with no restrain again and again, making himself hard. He grunted, rolling his hips for added friction. "Suck me," he commanded.

"What?" Blaine asked in disbelief.

"You're so hot. Kissing you makes me so hard." He plunged back in, pressing his lips hard to the shorter boy's. He wanted to see them swollen and bruised from being kissed. The thought turned him on more. A moan left his mouth. "Come on. Suck me." His hand grabbed Blaine's and brought it feel his stiffness in his pants. "See what you do to me? I can't stop thinking about last night."

"I can't stop thinking about it either." He was trying to smile, but Kurt didn't give him a chance to do or say anything other than kiss him back.

"Oh my god!" The pale skinned boy groaned. "I can't even- I just- fuck." He immediately unbuttoned his pants and pulled out his cock. He looked pleadingly at Blaine as he began to stroke himself.

Finding that the situation escalated quickly, Blaine started to catch on that something was wrong. It dawned on Blaine that Kurt was acting a little like his old self, but he didn't want to leave Kurt high and dry. He also didn't want to displease him so he dropped to his knees and stilled Kurt's motions with his hand. "Don't," he said. "Let me."

The intimate act lasted about ten minutes and Blaine was worried about Kurt the entire time. Especially since Kurt was more desperate and forceful than the way he was the last two days. He held Blaine's head and didn't seem to care how loud he was moaning and stringing expletives together.

After he was finished, though he had swallowed the remnants of what just happened, Blaine went to the sink and rinsed his mouth out with water. "Is everything okay?" he asked finally.

"Stressful day."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Not even a little bit."

"Oh. Um. Okay." Blaine perked up thinking of something. "Hey, are you free tonight? I'm supposed to meet Eli for boxing tonight, but I can cancel if you want to hang out."

Kurt's instant reaction of being jealous by the mere mention of that curly red-head's name was non existent right now. "Can't. I promised to take Dave to Scandals tonight. I've been a pain in his ass lately so I owe him."

The shy boy noticed how Kurt hadn't invited him to go with them. He didn't want to think it was because Blaine did something wrong. Hopefully, it was because the evening with Karofsky was meant to be Kurt giving time to his friend. In the back of his mind, Blaine knew that Kurt wasn't like that and he didn't do things for other people that often. He still wanted to think the best of Kurt and hope for positivism. "I see. Well, how about Tomorrow between swim practice and glee?"

"Can't. Doctor's appointment." He left out the part about the doctor being his therapist.

"Thursday?" The hope was dwindling for Blaine.

Kurt was starting to feel smothered at Blaine's insistence. It didn't amaze him in the slightest how quickly he was able to revert back to the asshole he was. It hurt him to talk to and treat Blaine this way, but he couldn't change over night and he wasn't giving up on trying. Right now was just a relapse of sorts and he'd apologize later. _He'll understand._ "I'll let you know. Thursday might work. Don't get your hopes up though, because I'm not sure." He went back into the stall, not saying another word and utilized the use of a toilet. No words came out of his mouth and no glances went Blaine's way when he came out of the stall. The only sound was a flushing toilet and running water when Kurt washed his hands.

Blaine had a hunch what this was. He was being pushed away and it hurt. He had to be patient. This was common knowledge by now. If he wanted to move further, he'd have to settle for both the good and bad parts of Kurt. But the longer time went by without a kind tone, gesture, or even a look of any kind, it was closer to Blaine feeling like he was going to cry from feeling like a toy or someone who was and can be used. "Kurt?" he asked shyly and tentatively.

The tone in his lover's voice sounded so small and vulnerable to Kurt. He looked up in the mirror at the slightly hunched frame. _Shit_, he thought. _How much worse could this day get?_ He turned the water off that was rinsing his hands and he shook the moisture from his skin instead of wiping the droplets on a paper towel. Blaine didn't move or budge an inch when Kurt went up to him. There were no tears, but Blaine looked like he was holding them back. Kurt lifted a wet finger and trailed it down his cheek, making it look like he had cried a single tear. It broke his heart instantly. He broke and wiped the water away with his sleeve and kissed where the trail had been. "I'm sorry."

"I know." Not being able to keep eye contact, Blaine looked down and shrugged his shoulders. "You'll tell me someday. Not _to_day, but _some_day."

"I can't change overnight."

It was important to Blaine to let Kurt know that he wasn't expecting anything for Kurt. He hoped for many things, but wanting Kurt to change who he was inside was not one of them. He forced himself to bring his eyes up to meet Kurt's. "I'm not asking you to."

"Good." He kissed Blaine on the lips this time. "Thanks for the blowjob."

"You're welcome." His tone was still low and somber.

"Can I have a smile, please? I know I don't deserve one, but…"

A sheepish, plastic smile spread slightly. It wasn't convincing, but like Kurt, Blaine was trying and Kurt would forgive him for that. "Can I just ask one thing?"

"I'll try my best to answer it." He was expecting something that would make him annoyed or something that wasn't easy to answer in three words or less. That thought alone annoyed him, so Blaine's yet to be asked question wasn't off to a good start.

"I didn't do anything wrong, right? I mean, _this,_ the way you're acting- It's not because of something I did, is it?"

Inwardly, the taller boy was able to sigh in relief. This was an easy question to answer and it required no explanation. "No. No, you did nothing wrong. It's not you; it's me."

"Oh." Somehow, Kurt's answer didn't make Blaine feel any better. He had hoped that the knowledge of Kurt being an ass wasn't because of something he did would make whatever he was feeling go away, but it didn't. Instead, it only made him feel worse because he realized that what he was feeling was the feeling of being used, which was exactly what happened.

_Shit_, Kurt thought. Again, being able to read Blaine like a book, he knew he screwed up. He decided to turn his brain off because using it obviously wasn't working. He cupped Blaine's face with both hands and looked deeply into his hazel eyes. "I promise this has nothing to do with you and I'm sorry I'm acting like this."

Blaine turned his face and lightly removed the hands on his cheeks. "I'll see you in art class." A hand grabbed his wrist, stopping him from leaving.

"Why can't you hate me?"

In the realm of facial expressions, to say that Blaine's heart had just been stomped on would be an accurate portrayal of what Blaine looked like. "Maybe I should." It was like nothing had changed and the past three days never happened. They were back to Kurt pushing him away.

A light bulb turned back on in Kurt's brain and the darkness was being illuminated on what he just did. Turning his brain off was working even less than using it. If they were a couple, Kurt would have just sworn that they just broke up. Time slowed and he was watching Blaine head for the door. He had committed to trying to change. He actually _wanted_ to change. Things would never get better if he didn't and he wanted Blaine so badly. He knew that now. It would have been better for Blaine to walk away and hate Kurt, but it would kill Kurt to not be apart of him. He had nothing to hold onto in his heart and he was tired leaving Kurt hanging by a thread. The epiphany hit him like cartoon anvil crashing onto his head. His feet could not have moved faster.

Kurt grabbed Blaine and spun him around, not waiting to take in Blaine's expression before wrapping his arms around him and holding him tighter than he'd ever held anything. "No. I'm sorry. I don't want you to hate me. Please don't hate me. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Everything went quiet again. Neither boy was crying, but all happiness and energy had been drained from the room. "I don't hate you," Blaine said finally, resting his chin on Kurt's shoulder.

"Why?"

"Because I don't." _Because I love you._ "I just wish I understood why you do things like this. I don't know if it would make the knowledge that you use me any easier, but at least I'd be able to rationalize the situation and try to help you. Instead I come here, thinking stupid fantasies because of how happy you've made me these past few days, and you rip them away from me because of something you claim I have nothing to do with. I don't know how or why you think it's okay to treat me like this."

"I don't think it's okay. I used to think it was okay, but I don't anymore. I haven't thought it was okay since I met you, but old habits die hard. You have no idea how fucked up I am. I know I'm hurting you along the way, but you don't even know how much you're helping me. You're making me better. I don't know how much of a good thing that is because I'm making things worse for you."

"I don't know how much longer I can-"

"Please don't say that," Kurt begged. "I don't want to be this person anymore. I don't want to float around with no meaning to anything. If you were just any other person to me, I would tell you that I treat you like this because you let me, but you're not just another person to me. You're Blaine and I-" He stopped himself. "I know exactly where I'd be without you and I hate myself. I don't want to hate myself anymore. Please don't leave me. Please- _please_, don't leave me. I ca- I don't want go back to the way I was."

It wasn't fair for Kurt to say those things to Blaine, but Blaine couldn't walk away from Kurt while he was saying them. He had to make a quick decision. Would he rather be there for Kurt and chance being used once in a while, or leave Kurt where he was and never be played with by him at all? Did he want to be a toy on Kurt Hummel's shelf? How long would it be before Blaine would turn from a toy into a real boy in Kurt's eyes? "It'll be okay. Everything will be okay," he soothed, trying to take in a breath. Kurt was holding him so tight that it was hard to take a normal sized breath. He rubbed Kurt's back and kept assuring him that he'd help him and he wasn't alone.

The only thing now was a thought that he didn't want to bring to life. _Kurt asked me not to leave him… Does that mean we're together?_ He didn't want to ask because Kurt had finally broke to a place where he was admitting that he needed help and was opening up. It wasn't pretty, but it was happening. He couldn't turn his back on anyone who was asking for help, never mind that the person was Kurt. There wasn't a formal initiation of them being a couple, but the way Kurt was talking made Blaine wonder if that's what he meant. He wasn't sure, but knowing Kurt, it probably didn't mean that. He hated thinking of Kurt in the negative.

Later in glee practice, they were working on a set list of things that were in their repertoire. There was a guy's number where they sang a mash-up of Love Somebody and Beautiful Goodbye by Maroon Five. Blaine and Mike Chang were in charge of choreography. Even though Sam and Puck protested about the boy band quality it had, Mike and Blaine stood by their idea that it would perfect. Blaine got the idea from the fact that their competitors were from Dalton and that's all they would do. If they could do the boy band thing better than the Warblers then it would automatically knock Dalton out of the top spot. They got Sam to shut up by telling him he was one of the lead singers. Finn wasn't the happiest about this because he usually sang lead on everything, but Sam had a slight Justin Beiber look to him and he could sing high like Adam Levine.

"Wait," Kurt interjected. "So, because he could sing high, that means he gets the solo?"

"What's your point?" Sam asked.

The lithe boy gestured to himself with an expression as if to say 'duh.' "Um. Hello. Countertenor. I can sing higher than some of the girls."

"Yeah, but your look isn't quite right."

"Who cares? I can sing the shit out of Maroon 5 way better than Sam. And my body is a closer replica than butch Quarterback Sam. Adam Levine is tall and skinny.

Sam lifted his shirt, showing his completely cut abs. Blaine couldn't help, but stare. Sam's body was to die for. "You're forgetting he's got abs. These kind of abs. Sorry, dude, but the V-hips win every time."

"Guys," Blaine interrupted. "We're not taking our clothes off. It doesn't matter who looks more like Adam Levine or not. If Kurt wants to try out for the solo, maybe we should have an Adam off. Sam, Kurt, Finn, and Puck can all sing a song from Maroon 5 and whoever is better will get the part."

"Fair enough," Finn agreed instantly. "Who's going to judge?"

"Mike, me, and Mr. Sheuster."

Mike put his elbow on Blaine's shoulder. "I hope y'all have got something in your back pocket because we're doing it now."

"I'm out," Puck said. "I got a solo in another song and I got nothing in my back pocket."

"Dibs on first up," Finn said.

"Me next," said Sam.

"Fine. Save the best for last," Kurt concluded.

The girls were practicing in the auditorium so the guys all took a seat in the hard plastic chairs. Fin got up first and sang Sweetest Goodbye. It was okay. It was good, but not spectacular; probably because it was too high for him and the key he used was an odd sound for the song.

Sam got up next and sang an acoustic version of Never Gonna Leave This Bed. He played his guitar while he sang and was honestly incredible. Blaine hoped for Kurt's sake that he could match Sam's performance or do better because if he didn't then this would have seemed like a colossal waste of time and Sam would get the solo he was promised in the first place.

Kurt sang Story and absolutely killed it. His voice was smooth and pitch perfect. It was like cutting warm butter: easy.

Blaine was about to voice his opinion to Mr. Sheuster when he noticed the teacher looking at him in anticipation.

"Are you not trying for the solo, Blaine?"

"No, but I think that-" He was cut off.

"Blaine, this was your song. You made the mash-up and the arrangement. How come you didn't set yourself up with the solo?"

"I didn't want to assume I'd be best at it." It was actually because he didn't want to cause a riot even though he really wanted the solo.

"Didn't you audition for me freshman year with Misery by Maroon 5?"

"Yes."

Mr. Sheuster made a presenting gesture with his arm. "Why don't you show them how it's done?"

"Um. Okay. Uh, Mike, will you help me. We can show them the choreography and back-up vocals while I'm at it."

"Sure thing."

They decided to get Tina and Brittney involved so they headed to the auditorium. Even though it was a guy's only number, the girls joined them in the choreography near the end of the song as a transition into the girl's only part.

The music started and Blaine walked down the center of the stage in time. White lights illuminated him from different sides, making him look like he was surrounded in smoke. He struck a pose and more lights came up, showing Mike and they began dancing a simple enough dance that appeared to be more complicated than it actually was.

**I know your insides are feeling so hollow**

**And it's a hard pill for you to swallow**

**But if I fall for you, I'll never recover**

**If I fall for you, I'll never be the same**

**I really wanna love somebody**

**I really wanna dance the night away**

**I know we're only halfway there**

**But you take me all the way; you take me all the way**

**I really wanna touch somebody**

**I think about you every single say**

**I know we're only halfway there**

**But you take me all the way; you take me all the way**

**You're such a hard act for me to follow**

**Love me today, don't leave me tomorrow**

The girls emerged from the wings and seemed to make Blaine and Mike follow them to another part of the stage.

**But if I fall for you, I'll never recover**

**I fall for you; I'll never be the same**

With Tina paired with Blaine and Brittney paired with Mike, they began dancing together in a fox-trot type style of timing and movements. Everyone in the audience watched and could imagine the entire number with everyone else in front of a cheering crowd. It would be perfect and this particular part would look magical with everyone on stage.

**I really wanna love somebody**

**I really wanna dance the night away**

**I know we're only halfway there**

**But you take me all the way; you take me all the way**

The boys spun the girls out of their arms and back in touching their palms together and stepped in time side by side.

**I really wanna touch somebody**

**I think about you every single say**

**I know we're only halfway there**

**But you take me all the way; you take me all the way**

Blaine broke away from the other three dancers who did a separate dance in unison. It was flawless. He stood front and center and bounced to the music, two stepping and doing his own thing, as he got lost in the music and words.

**I don't know where to start. I'm just a little lost**

**I wanna feel like we're never gonna ever stop**

He opened his eyes and found himself singing straight to Kurt. He meant the words he was singing. He wanted things to work out with Kurt so badly. The pale skinned boy in the audience didn't seem to be bothered that Blaine was looking right at him and doing his trademark hand gestures in his general direction. No one had ever sung him a song before and if he wasn't better at keeping his emotions in check, he would have melted.

**I don't know what to do. I'm right in front of you**

**Asking you to stay. You should stay, stay with me tonight.**

The lead singer rejoined the group and danced in unison with them.

**I really wanna love somebody**

**I really wanna dance the night away**

They re-paired off and started doing a mix of a swing style dance with a twist of hip hop. Again, it was flawless and it would be sure to please a crowd.

**I know we're only halfway there**

**But you take me all the way; you take me all the way**

The girls backed up against the boys' chests and they pushed them down to the ground where they gracefully lied down between the guys' legs.

**I really wanna touch somebody**

**I think about you every single say**

Mike and Blaine bent over and clasped hands with their female partner and pulled them up into the air then flipping them over once they landed back on the ground. The precision move would take some practice, but it was gorgeous.

**I know we're only halfway there**

**But you take me all the way; you take me all the way**

The song ended with the girls being only slightly out of breath and the boys perspiring. Everyone in the audience was clapping wildly. Even Finn, who definitely wanted the solo, was impressed and clapping with excitement.

"And _that_ ladies and gentlemen, is how it's done!" Mr. Sheuster cheered. Blaine was smiling and breathing heavily, but hugging the girls and high-fiving Mike. They stood at the front of the stage all together, waiting for a critique or praise.

"It definitely needs to be a duet, but with the other song mashed in, it will be a cinch to break up and I promise, you won't be disappointed with the final result," Blaine preached.

"I agree. You four did an amazing job on choreography. And thank you to the ladies for helping out."

"So, who's getting the second solo?" Sam asked.

Blaine looked at Mike for support. He knew who he wanted to sing the song with. It was an obvious choice for him. Mike was in synch with Blaine and agreed. "Kurt," Mike announced. "He was the clear winner of the Adam off. Sorry, Sam."

Everyone clapped and Blaine smiled at Kurt, who smiled back and playfully pretended like it was nothing and he knew all along he was better. He shook Sam's hand then looked back at Blaine, thankful for more than one reason.

* * *

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**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	18. Chapter 18

**I'm keeping this one short and sweet :)**

* * *

**Chapter 18**

"So I suppose I should thank you for giving me the solo, huh?" Kurt asked on Wednesday during lunch. They had decided that since they only had a few days to get the song right, they would spend any extra time during the school day for the rest of the week on it.

"You don't have to thank me. You were the obvious choice." Blaine's eyes linger a little too long on Kurt's and then bore down onto the sheet music in his hands. "And I partially did it for selfish reasons anyway."

"Oh yeah?" Kurt smiled. "How so?"

"Well… doing this duet means that we get to spend more time together." He blushed, sounding shy at his admission. "We spend most of our days stealing a glance or two at each other until art class, where we say a few sentences." The sheet music was put down on the piano and then Blaine's nail started picking at the staple in the papers. "Then sometimes, if I'm lucky, I get to argue with you in the locker room."

Kurt's dimples crinkled and he stopped himself from giggling because what Blaine said was one of the cutest things ever. He licked his lips and put his hands on Blaine's shoulders. He looked around quickly. Seeing no one in the room or doorways, he kissed the back of Blaine's neck. "How about tomorrow? You said you wanted to hang out, right?"

Blaine perked up and spun around. "Yes! Definitely!" he said excitedly. "Wait. No," his tone dropped considerably. "I thought you didn't want to hang out so I made plans with Eli." He paused chewing on his bottom lip while he tried to figure something out.

"How late are your plans with Eli?"

"He wanted to go to Scandals."

"I see. So, really late?"

"Yeah. Do you want to come?"

Kurt made a funny 'are you kidding?' face and laughed. "You, me, and Eli. That'll go over well."

"I'll tell you what, I know you'd never cancel your plans with him because you're a better friend than I am, but how about we hang out after glee and I'll drop you off at Scandals to meet up with him? "

"I'd have to cancel boxing, but sure. I mean, yes. That's not a whole lot of time, but I'll take what I can get. What do you want do?"

"Dinner? That worked out so well last time at my place." He smiled like a Cheshire cat and glanced around again before kissing Blaine open mouthed and slow.

"So, dinner with a side of foreplay?" the dark brunette joked.

"More like…" he leaned in and gently sucked a spot on the shorter boy's neck. "I want you to fuck me like you did the other night." His teeth and lips nibbled on Blaine's ear lobe. "Sound good?"

A shiver went through Blaine's body. "Ss-sounds g-good." He swallowed hard, feeling his pants grow a little tighter. "W-we should practice," Blaine said trying to will his erection to deflate.

Kurt looked around once more and looked at the clock before spinning Blaine and himself around, making it so Kurt's back was against the curve of the Steinway piano. "I thought we were," he said devilishly with his hand on Blaine's belt.

"What are you doing?" Blaine asked in a shock, wide eyed and looking around rapidly.

"Blaine, how am I ever supposed to get blowing you right, if I don't practice?" Kurt sounded coquettish and playful.

"Huhng!" he moaned when Kurt reached into his pants without a second thought. "You've got it right. You've got it p-perfect. Please, Kurt, someone will hear us, see us, or w-walk in!" Blaine wanted Kurt to both stop and never stop. His hands felt so good on him.

Kurt began to stroke Blaine with a smirk on his face. "That's why we're standing right here, the only way someone would see is if they walked in, and no one will because it's lunch time and we've got twenty five minutes." He swiftly sank down to the floor and wedged himself under the piano a little, making Blaine move closer to the curve of the shiny black wood. "We can do a lot in twenty five minutes." Not wanting to scare Blaine completely, he amended his last statement. "I'll make it quick."

"Kurt, please, I really don't- Oh my god! Shit!" The delicate boy under the piano had his mouth around Blaine and started sucking hard without warning. Part of Blaine, the part that wasn't desperately trying not to yell in pleasure, was screaming at himself in his head. _If you stop him, you're the biggest idiot on the planet. Oh fuck, he's so good at that. Shhhhhhiiiitttt. _His eyes rolled around inside their sockets and his fingertips gripped the piano. "Uhng, Kurt," he moaned gently and soft enough for only Kurt to hear. "God, don't stop."

Kurt, true to his word, made it very fast. Five minutes later, he was swallowing any evidence of this tryst and waiting a minute to tuck Blaine's sensitive cock back into his pants. He poked his head out from under the Steinway and smiled. His lips were bruised and beautifully swollen.

"Oh my god, you're good at that." It was a wonder how Blaine was able to be standing because his knees had turned to jelly a long time ago. He backed up a little and looked at Kurt, who was still grinning like a lottery winner.

Whistling could be heard in the near distance, but Kurt and Blaine were in their own little bubble to notice. "Hey, Blaine." Mr. Sheuster walked into the room and a stack of folders and his pencil tapping on all of them. He clearly was in a little bubble of his own; probably plotting weekend vest outfits.

Blaine shot straight up and Kurt backed under the piano further with his eyes so wide he thought they would pop out. Both of them thought for sure that they were caught and didn't move when their teacher crossed behind Blaine to his the office on the other side of the room.

Catching the sight of a yellow sweater, he took a second glance as he walked by. "Kurt, what are you doing under there?" he asked oddly.

"Uh," Kurt's eyes darted around the floor for a second and saw pencil with bite marks on it. He snatched it. "I dropped my pencil. Found it!" He showed Mr. Sheuster the number two writing implement and crawled out from under the piano. "Blaine and I were just working on our duet."

"Good. Let me know if you need any help." Without another word, the curly haired teacher continued whistling and walking over to the music office. He was none the wiser and Kurt and Blaine looked at each other with shock, alarm, and relief.

They worked on the song for the rest of the lunch period and walked to art class together. "You're not mad at me, are you?" Kurt asked, his actions still on his mind.

Blaine blushed. "It's not exactly easy to be mad at you for _doing_ that." He lowered his voice so no one could hear. "I'm surprisingly less mad than I thought I would be. Although, it would probably be best if we, you know, didn't do that in school again."

"Got a new boyfriend, queer boy?" Ian said in passing to Blaine, but obviously still mad at Kurt for saying those things to him in class yesterday.

"Wanna get your ass kicked by a homo again, crater face?"

"You talking back to me, queer?" He advanced on Blaine, who didn't look at all bothered.

Kurt got in between them and pushed against Ian. "Keep walking Ian."

"What the fuck's your problem, Hummel? You've got your statuses mixed up. Us, we're up in the penthouse suite. Losers and nerds like him, they're down in the subbasement. Why are you on his side?"

"The only reason you're in the penthouse is because you're the football players' groupie. No one actually likes you because you're an asshole and you can't get a girlfriend because they have pet rats that are better looking than you."

The halls started filling with students who were off to class. Ian ignored them all and charged at Kurt. Blaine was quick to act and connected to the wrestler before he hit Kurt. He punched the boy in the jaw hard enough to send him to the ground. Out of no where, Dave Karofsky emerged in a rush through the throngs of kids and got between Blaine and Ian.

"Jesus Christ, Ian. Haven't you learned your lesson? Quit picking on Blaine and you won't get your ass kicked." He picked up the short wrestler. "Go to the nurse and put some ice on that cheek."

Ian glared past Karofsky to Blaine, who glared back with just as much ire. He wanted another go at the olive skinned boy who bested him, but he huffed and did as he was told. He left for the nurse's office.

The bulky football player turned to Blaine. He was grinning. "It must feel really good knowing you can kick the crap out of the guy who picks on you the most."

"Actually, it does. I don't enjoy beating people up, but I do have to admit that punching Ian is a bit therapeutic."

"You should probably not make it a habit though. Eventually you'll get suspended."

Blaine smiled and chuckled, turning to Kurt who looked like he was in a state of unease. "That dickwad tried to tackle me," he said.

"You're welcome," was all Blaine said before redirecting them all to class.

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**I'm going to skip over some time in the next chapter. It will definitely be an interesting view of Klaine. :)**

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

After the day in the choir room, it seemed like Kurt and Blaine were turning into rabbits. Kurt was paying more attention to Blaine and every spare moment they had, they could be found together. Most evenings, Blaine would stop at Kurt's house, on Kurt's insistence, on his way home and they'd sit and watch a movie or have sex; do their homework together or blow each other; paint and draw or fuck some more. It was a never ending sequence of undressing and redressing, cleaning up and then needing to do it all over again later. And kisses; lots and lots of kisses and endless smiles. Once, Kurt purposefully splotched paint across one of Blaine's drawings because he wasn't paying attention to Kurt's advances. Blaine was convinced that there would have been an argument because he'd been working on that drawing for a couple days and was almost finished before Kurt ruined it, but then Kurt started kissing him and grabbing his ass and Blaine forgot all about what he was mad about.

Sectionals passed and the New Directions won, beating out a group called the Unitards and, of course, the Dalton Academy Warblers. Blaine watched on as Kurt conversed with a few of his former Dalton friends from afar and congratulated his cousin, Nicky, on a great job. Many of Blaine's family members were there because not only Blaine was competing that day, but Nicky as well.

Later, Kurt brought some old friends over to Blaine and Nicky and introduced Jeff, Nick, Trent, Wes, and David. They passed around compliments and Blaine got a lot of props for the job he did on singing and arranging the Maroon 5 mash-up. They all seemed like really cool guys and he wondered if Kurt ever talked to them after he transferred because he spends a lot of time with his McKinley friends.

Trent has asked Kurt if Blaine was in any way attached to someone because he wanted to give the short New Direction member his number. Kurt lied and said that Blaine was seeing a guy from North Lima High. He didn't want to complicate things by saying that he was seeing Blaine because, while technically he was, they weren't in a relationship, but he didn't want to see Blaine with anyone else. Explaining that to people was too much of a mouthful for him and didn't want to get into a debate about it with people. Knowing Trent, the sassy, wonderful, diva he was, he'd hear that Kurt was sleeping with Blaine, but since they weren't a couple, he would put the charm on Blaine anyway and find a way to get Blaine's number. Kurt didn't want that. Kurt wanted things exactly as they were with Blaine: all his and no labels. Everything right now was in his own control and he wasn't in any hurry to change that. Control was what he needed.

The trip to Washington D.C. was fast approaching. Kurt hadn't had any other breakdowns with Blaine, even though there was at least one bickering session per day. Blaine said it best once when he told Kurt that fighting was their foreplay. It was mostly annoying, but it was always enjoyable in the end for the pair. They even fought on the airplane to Washington D.C. Kurt wanted Blaine to join him in the bathroom so they could join the mile high club and Blaine adamantly, yet with a flattered and excited blush, refused. They fought over which movie to watch on Kurt's Ipad. They fought over the fact that since they couldn't agree, Blaine wanted to read a book, so Kurt could watch whatever he wanted. Kurt wanted Blaine to watch the movie with him just because he wanted the attention and took Blaine's book away in protest. He sat on it for the remainder of flight, while made Blaine call him childish. They even argued about how they argue too much and their weekend was starting off with a bang because Kurt wasn't being reasonable about anything.

By the time the plane landed, none of it mattered anymore and they forgot all about everything they bickered about in the first place. A driver with a sign met Kurt and Blaine at the gate to take them to the hotel and Kurt happily clasped Blaine's hand. He was surprised to find that he was actually excited that Blaine was here. D.C. was becoming a small home away from home for him because he went there to visit his father and Blaine had never been there. This was a vast contrast to his original reaction weeks ago when Burt Hummel announced that Blaine would be joining them. His original distaste for the idea had now turned into being overjoyed with the companionship.

Once they were settled in their hotel room, Kurt tackled Blaine to the bed and kissed every inch of Blaine's body from head to toe. He then proceeded to take off every item of clothing off very slowly, just to make Blaine impatient, and pinned his lover to the mattress as he rode out his long awaited orgasm, making it known he was enjoying himself by moaning and screaming as loud as he pleased. Blaine, on the other hand, wasn't cued in to the thick walls of that particular hotel and demurely tried to stay as quiet as possible, though the headboard slamming against the wall repeatedly would probably be a dead giveaway to the people on the other side of the wall, even without the accompaniment of teen boys.

"The walls are solid and triple layered," Kurt explained afterward with a smirk. He banged his fists on the walls for emphasis. "Everyone important in politics stays here because of the security. You could shoot the wall with the biggest gun and it would barely make a dent." He buttoned up his shirt and continued to try to assuage Blaine. "Every room here is sound proof too. You wouldn't want anyone listening in on a private diplomatic conversation, would you?" Kurt's palm caressed Blaine's cheek. "So feel free to be as loud as you want next time, okay?" The smirk on his face told Blaine that if they didn't leave the room soon, round two was not far away.

Kurt played the role of tour guide well and showed him the building where his father worked. Burt was in a meeting, but left a message with his secretary, who Kurt flirted with and made blush, that he'd join them for dinner at a specific restaurant at 6:00. They moved on to cemeteries and museums and by dinner, Blaine was more tired than he'd been in a very long time. Kurt didn't care because after dinner, he proceeded to take a long bath with him, topping Blaine for the first time. He let Blaine take a nap, promising that he'd wake him up at ten o'clock because he had one more place he wanted to show him. It was like pulling teeth to get the short boy out of that bed.

"I've never slept on anything this comfortable," he said.

"That's because you're sleeping on a temperpedic mattress in a California King sized bed. Now get up before I turn the AC on high and take all the blankets away."

The curly haired boy groaned, but rolled out of bed.

Blaine could hear the music on the street from the inside of the gay club Kurt brought him too. It was nothing like Scandals. This place had gorgeous men and fabulous drag queens, not the older, badly fashioned men back in Ohio. Every now and then, something would rain down from the ceiling: bubbles, glitter, confetti, anything that could catch the lights. They ordered drinks and toasted to a fabulous weekend and Blaine's first real club experience. They danced and drank some more well into the early hours.

An elated feeling went through Blaine with every beat of house music and touch of Kurt's body against his. Men approached them left and right; they were never alone. Several men joined in their dancing, grinding up against one of them from behind. At first Blaine was a little apprehensive and jealous, but then he saw that Kurt never left his side and never once turned away to give another man more attention than he was giving Blaine. Kurt, meanwhile, was turned on by the sight of other men coveting what was his because while they could only dream of what it would feel like to have Blaine Anderson inside them, he would be the only one in this place to know.

The drinks came again and again and soon, Blaine couldn't even taste the alcohol. He was thoroughly drunk, but not as much as Kurt, and still able to control himself. When a gorgeous twenty something in barely any clothes at all approached Blaine at the bar, Kurt encouraged him to go dance with him, but not to go too far because he'd watch him from where he was now. A little apprehensively, but still feeling excitement, he went and stayed in eyeshot of Kurt at the bar.

"Careful," the bartender warned. "You'll lose your boyfriend in a place like this. I can't tell you how many people commented on him tonight. Can't say I blame them. He must be one sweet piece of ass."

Kurt smirked happily. "Mm," he mused, keeping his eyes on the crowd of men that was gathering to dance with Blaine and enjoying seeing them all grind against him. "He is. I fucked him twice today already. Jealous?"

"Almost as jealous as I am of him because he got fucked by you." He pushed two shots towards Kurt and in turn, Kurt winked, thinking twice about leaning over and making out with the sexy bartender as payment and flattery. The only thing that stopped him was Blaine, who kept looking over from time to time. Down the hatch went both of the shots. He winced as the tequila went down. "I see you around here every once in a while." He slid his number on a napkin across the bar. "Call me sometime."

He took the napkin and put it in his pocket, still debating whether or not to kiss him. He blew an air kiss instead and smiled before returning to the dance floor and getting between Blaine and every other guy vying for his attention. "You are so fucking sexy, you know that?" Kurt slurred into Blaine's ear. "Everyone in here wants you and only I get to have you. God I want to fuck you again."

"One more dance," Blaine promised. "One more song."

"You like it here."

"I feel alive here."

The music changed to something slower, but still had a beat. Lil Wayne's How to Love came on and Kurt wrapped his arms tightly around Blaine, looking him in the eyes as they moved to and fro.

_You had a lot of crooks try to steal your heart_

_Never really had luck _

_Couldn't ever figure out how to love, how to love._

_You had a lot of moments that didn't last forever_

_Now you're in the corner trying to put it together_

_How to love_

_How to love_

There was an energy that ran between the two teens. It was heavy and had the ability to drown out the rest of the room as far as Kurt and Blaine were concerned. Their hips were glued together and they swayed and turned with their legs intermingled. The only ones in the world were Kurt and Blaine and the only thing left was this floor, this song, those eyes staring right into Blaine's soul.

_When you were just a youngin' your looks were so precious_

_But now you're grown up_

_So fly it's like a blessin'_

_But you can't have a man look at you for five seconds_

_Without you feeling insecure_

There was something about the way that Kurt looked at Blaine that made Blaine start to feel like Kurt was opening himself up. For the few minutes that the song lasted, it wasn't about sex or attraction. It was about connection and, dare he say it… love? Did Kurt love Blaine? Or was it maybe the song that was significant? Was Kurt trying to tell Blaine something without words?

Glittered streamers rained down on them and Kurt didn't break his eye contact. He began to look a little sad, but still full of emotion for Blaine.

_You had a lot of dreams that transform to visions_

_The fact you saw the world affected all your decisions_

_But it wasn't your fault_

_Wasn't your intentions_

_To be the one talking to me, be the one listening_

"Thank you," Blaine said.

Kurt couldn't hear him, but he knew that Blaine said. He forced the tiniest of smiles, feeling the alcohol from the shots he took take up home in his brain. He leaned closer to Blaine's ear. "For what?"

"This. Everything about today and this weekend."

_See, I just want you to know_

_You deserve the best. You're beautiful_

_You're beautiful._

"My pleasure. I'm glad you're here with me."

_And I want you to know, you're far from the usual_

_Far from the usual_

Blaine returned the smile with his drunk, fuzzy addled brain. In this moment, Kurt was the most gorgeous creature he'd ever seen. His heart swelled.

_You had a lot of crooks try to steal your heart_

_Never really had luck _

_Couldn't ever figure out how to love, how to love._

_You had a lot of moments that didn't last forever_

_Now you're in the corner trying to put it together_

_How to love_

_How to love_

As if Kurt could read Blaine's mind, he arced his neck and lowered his lips to Blaine's. They kissed softly.

The final note played as a second rain of glittered streamers fell from the ceiling and the music blended into another song. "Want to go?" Blaine asked.

No words were spoken, but Kurt nodded and unraveled his arms. He swallowed hard and tangled his fingers up with Blaine's, towing him out the door with an obvious drunken gate to Kurt's walk.

Though it was Kurt who had Blaine in tow at the bar, it was Blaine who had to help Kurt from the taxi cab to the hotel room. The ride was silent and Kurt didn't say a word until they got back to their room. He flopped himself onto the bed, face first, and immediately regretted it, rolling onto his side and then his back. He groaned. _Why did I drink so much?_ he thought. He arched up and realized he couldn't see Blaine. He squinted his eyes, thinking that maybe his vision was playing a trick on him, but then he realized someone, Blaine, was crouched below the bed and taking off Kurt's shoe's and socks. "Mm, so eager," he encouraged gravely.

Eyes poked up from between Kurt's knees. "I'm not seducing you. I'm getting you ready for bed. You passed out in the cab and I doubt you'd be awake much longer anyway." The eyes disappeared and the tugging feeling on Kurt's feet returned.

"I can stay awake long enough for that. There's always room for fucking." He smiled and palmed the already growing bulge in his pants.

Blaine's hands stopped after he pulled off the second shoe, but he didn't surface. He looked sullenly at the floor. Something was different. The way Kurt said _fucking_ as if that's what they did; only what they did. They fucked. They didn't make love. They didn't transfer a bond or emotions with each other. The thought stung. Maybe he wouldn't have been overanalyzing this if he weren't drunk, but nevertheless, here he was. He wanted to tell Kurt everything. Tell him how much he loves him. How everything about him is special and how there isn't a moment in the day where he's not thinking of something relating to Kurt. He wanted to tell him how beautiful he was, inside and out, no matter what happened to him in his past to make him so miserable inside all the time. "We had sex twice today already." He pulled off Kurt's socks a little less gently than intended.

"Prude," Kurt joked harshly.

Blaine didn't answer. He stood up and faced away from the drunk teen on the bed. He started to take his clothes off and toss them on top of his suitcase. When he turned back to the bed, it looked like Kurt had started to try to unbutton his pants, but passed out in the middle of the action. Blaine finished taking Kurt's pants off, noticing the half hard erection and then quickly averting his eyes. When he got to the shirt, Kurt woke up again. He pulled Blaine on top of himself.

"Kurt, stop. I'm trying to help you."

"And I'm trying to help both of us." He rolled them both over so that Kurt was on top and started kissing the olive skinned boy beneath him.

Far be it for Blaine to deny Kurt a kiss, but this wasn't what he wanted. He kissed back, but clearly his heart wasn't in it. This was immediately obvious to Kurt. "Kiss me," he cooed.

"I am kissing you," Blaine responded blandly.

"No, really kiss me. Your lips are moving, but there's nothing there."

This hurt. He brought himself to look at Kurt and saw that it hurt him too. He rolled them back over and he sat up, straddling Kurt's lap, and encouraging Kurt to sit up. Blaine finished taking his lover's shirt off and dropped it to the floor. "Can we go to bed now?" His voice was tired and drained. An hour ago he felt so alive and happy. Now, with the effects of the alcohol and something strange in the air between them, Blaine was sad. Kurt was sad too, but was trying harder than Blaine was to keep his emotions hidden.

Kurt's eyes were downcast and he sighed. "Okay, Blaine." He gave up and laid down. Blaine followed and moved under the covers next to him, resting his right arm over Kurt's hip and closing his eyes.

He didn't know if he fell asleep and was waking up to the sound of Kurt's voice or if no time lapsed and Kurt just started talking. The silence was thick like that. "I don't deserve you," he said.

Blaine opened his eyes and in the faint light, he saw Kurt's chest contracting overtime. Kurt was obviously working very hard to control his breathing. "What's wrong?" Blaine asked, feeling very tired for more than one reason.

"You're so beautiful." He meant it. Maybe it was the booze, but Kurt never spoke the way he was to Blaine. Once or twice he started to, but he always closed up shortly after and started a fight.

"It's the other way around. You're the beautiful one." Blaine meant it, but didn't sound full of emotion that way Kurt did. He was still drunk and he knew Kurt was worse off than him. This would be a huge fight if Blaine couldn't turn this around.

"Don't say that. I'm not beautiful. I'm disgusting."

Awake. Definitely awake. Blaine shot his eyes open even more, his brain now turned on. This was a first and worse than a fight. Kurt was drunk, emotional, and apparently taken into confession time. This wasn't going to be a fight, but it would more than likely end in just as many tears. The knowledge had a very sobering effect on Blaine. He cupped Kurt's cheek. "How can you say that? You _are not_ disgusting. You're gorgeous and-"

"No!" Kurt practically screamed it. He sat up, his chest now contracting rapidly. His heart was pounding and his head was swimming. He couldn't turn his thoughts off. Memories flipped through his mind like a rolodex on loop and his body clenched and relaxed and the whole thing repeated itself over and over. It hurt his proverbial heart more than he could explain. This wasn't the first time this happened. It happened frequently and every time he was highly intoxicated. Only now, this time, he wasn't alone. "I don't want to hear that and don't tell me it's true because I know it's not." His words slurred together in some pieces.

Blaine sat up and turned, sitting cross legged, to face him. His hand reached over and brushed the opposite side of Kurt's cheek to make his head turn and face him. "Hey," he coddled. "Talk to me. What's wrong?"

"I have been with so many people. I don't even know how many. I gave myself to them not even caring about you. Even before I met you. I should have thought about you. I should have known I'd meet someone who'd make me wish I could take them all back."

"Kurt-"

"I love you!" There was silence. It was an unexpected sentence that neither one of them thought to ever hear Kurt say. "At least I think I do. I've thought I'd been in love before and been wrong. But I know that, in whatever capacity, I'm falling for you."

His face looked so vulnerable. Was this what Blaine saw on the dance floor? Was this what Kurt had been thinking about the whole time. Blaine wanted to say it back. For a long time now, he wanted to tell him how he felt, but for some reason, right now, he couldn't bring himself to say 'I love you too.' It felt wrong to say it. Blaine felt that saying it back would be counter productive because if him saying that Kurt was beautiful made him angry, then what would an admission of love make him do? It would hurt to much to hear Blaine's feelings be shoved back in his face and go unbelieved. So, what was there to say right now?

As it turned out, Kurt continued with his thoughts and relieved Blaine of his own decision. "I don't want you to say it back. I don't even want you to remember me saying it to you. I'll only just ruin whatever we have anyway."

Blaine finally found words. "Kurt, you need to stop thinking that you're going to ruin this. We don't even know what this is. We're not a couple, but we're sleeping together. We talk about everything."

"Not everything." Kurt looked like he was having another memory.

"Then tell me something you haven't told me before."

"You're the first one I let like me more than I like myself."

"Why don't you like yourself?"

"I'm weak. I'm not a man. I'm weak. I can't stop anything bad from happening."

"Kurt, that doesn't make you less of a man. And you're not weak. I've seen you conquer those assholes at school with just your words and confidence."

"Stop thinking so highly of me. I don't deserve it."

"I get to say who deserves my affection. Not you. And you can't say you don't want it."

"I do want it. I'd never admit it, but I think I'd die if I didn't have you." He leaned over, a little too harshly, and crushed his lips to Blaine's. The force caused them to topple over on top of one another on the mattress. "Why don't you want me?"

"I always want you," Blaine said. He was a little out of breath and, right now, it hurt to think of the way Kurt saw things. It was enough to make his mind, body, and soul shatter.

"Not like everyone else. You don't want me the way the bartender wanted me." He nestled his hips between Blaine's legs and nuzzled his nose near his lover's ear, breathing him in and peppering kisses.

"You're not a piece of ass to me." He moaned a little because the connection felt so good. "You're Kurt."

"You were a piece of ass to me once." Kurt's hips started to ebb and drag slowly. "It would be fair to treat me the same."

"Not to me. I don't deal in revenge. All I ever wanted was you." His heart ached so badly for the boy above him. He couldn't stop his body from reacting the way it was, but at least they were talking. Another moan escaped his throat and one to match it left Kurt's. It was all to much. He couldn't stop the words from coming out. "I love you."

All at once, everything stopped. Kurt stopped moving his hips and kissing Blaine's neck and face. Instead he leaned up and looked down on Blaine. Shock, pain, and longing registered on his face. In the silence, Blaine continued stuttering and slow. "I c-could never h-hurt someone I love like that."

More silence followed. Kurt rolled off Blaine and brought his knees up to his chest. He buried his face and gentle, soft sobs started to make themselves known. Blaine sat up, his mind frozen on the fact he finally just said what he'd been feeling about this boy next to him. His arm wrapped around the fragile teen and waited. Words weren't coming to him and something told him that words wouldn't fix the situation right now. He kissed Kurt's shoulder and rocked with him when Kurt began to move. He held him and that was perfect enough for Kurt.

No more talk was had that night. They eventually laid back down with Kurt wrapped tightly in Blaine's strong arms and his chest molded to Kurt's back. The tears stopping falling and breathing returned to normal. Sleep was finally found.

The next morning, Blaine woke up when he realized the other side of the bed was empty and cold. He heard a knock on the door and the shower running in the bathroom. Another knock pounded and a holler of "Room service!" made itself known.

"Be right there!" Blaine shouted nicely and rolled out of bed. He felt stiff and his head was pounding. He grabbed an undershirt from the floor and pulled it over his head. Not caring about standing in his boxers, he opened the door and was greeted by a smiling man in a uniform.

"Room service, Sir. I hope I didn't wake you."

"It's alright. Someone obviously called for it." He itched his curls and turned his head toward the bathroom door.

"Yes. Mr. Hummel ordered it. He said not to worry about a tip in case it was you who answered. It's already added onto the bill." Blaine moved out of the way awkwardly, letting the man bring in the table of food.

"Oh. Okay. Thanks for the info. I wouldn't know how much to tip you anyway. I'd hate to under-tip you."

"Not to worry, Sir. It's all taken care of." The man stood straight up and as if he were remembering something important, he made a face and a quick flourish of his hand to his blazer pocket. "Also, it was requested to leave these as well." His white glove reached into his right pocket and pulled out a small handful of travel packages of aspirin.

Blaine sighed in delight. His head was pounding. "Thank you!" He touched his temple. Even his own voice was too loud.

The man chuckled gently. "I do hope you enjoy what the rest of this city has to offer, Sir."

"Th-thank you." The sound of the shower being turned off made Blaine turn his head again.

"You're welcome, Sir. Enjoy your breakfast. I'll be leaving now."

Not feeling hungry at all, Blaine touched his stomach, afraid he might throw up. That didn't stop him from lifting the silver lids off the top of the plates though. An array of carefully crafted food was presented before him. Scrambled eggs, toast, fruit, orange juice, water, sausage, roasted potatoes, jams and jellies, two very large pancakes, and three different kinds of syrup. He put the lids back on, feeling his stomach start to turn at the richness of the food. It smell amazing, but his stomach had other ideas.

"Did he bring aspirin?" Kurt's voice made Blaine jump. He was dressed in a white robe and was rubbing his wet hair with a towel.

"Yeah. He said Mr. Hummel ordered this. You? Or your dad?"

"No. It was me. Hence the apsrin." He smiled and walked over, giving Blaine a kiss on the lips. "Good morning."

The kiss is what triggered Blaine's memory. Through his hazy film that ran through his mind, he remembered two things very clearly. Kurt told Blaine that he loved him… and Blaine said he loved him back. Kurt tore an aspirin packet open and downed a glass of water with the pills. He opened another. "Open," he instructed Blaine.

Blaine did as he was told, but acted and looked at Kurt awkwardly, wondering if Kurt remembered what he did. Kurt popped the pills onto Blaine's tongue and handed him a glass of water. "Drink. Then take a shower. You'll feel better. Then you can eat." He smiled and kissed Blaine on the lips again.

Hazel eyes watched Kurt carefully as he walked over to his suitcase after dropping the robe and selecting items of clothing. Kurt turned back, putting his hand on his hip. His naked hip, Blaine was quick to notice. "Well, go on. We have another busy day. A sober one, I promise."

It was very hard to so say no to a naked Kurt Hummel. Blaine went into the shower, which was one of the expensive ones that had the water rain on you from above you and on your sides. It was like being caught in a rain storm of steaming water. He loved it. He loved it even more after he threw up and the liquid only contents went down the drain. By the time he came out, Kurt was fully dressed and sitting at the table with his phone, waiting patiently. He hadn't eaten, but instead, had decided to take the liberty of picking Blaine's clothes out. He looked happy.

"Isn't that shower amazing?" He asked. "You look like a new man."

"Yeah," Blaine answered slowly, still wondering if Kurt was operating on auto pilot or if he was really happy because he admitted his feelings last night. "I feel like one. I threw up though, so that could help."

Kurt chuckled. "I heard. Though, if it's any consolation, I did too. Twice actually. I think I drank more than you did. Shit, I barely remember anything."

"You do?"

"Yeah. We were dancing, then time jumps a little. I was talking to the bartender, while you danced with other guys…" he looked off, trying to remember anything. "Then nothing."

"Nothing at all? Not coming back here? Not going to bed? Nothing?" Blaine was fishing and it was obvious.

"Nope. Why?" He made a playfully seductive face. "Did you try to take advantage of me?"

"Um. No. Just wondering. You passed out in the cab and then again while I helped you out of your clothes." His cover up was successful. Blaine didn't know if he was happy that Kurt didn't remember or sad, but in a way, he felt relieved for reasons he didn't understand.

He went over to the bed and saw the clothes that Kurt picked out. They were paired together in a way that he wouldn't have normally paired them and one of Kurt's cardigans was spread out with them. _I guess I could use a bit more style, _he thought and put the clothes on. An approving smile awaited him when he turned around.

"I'm not saying you have bad style, but this is much better. I know you like the nerd look and all, but I sort of just updated it to nerd chic."

Blaine rolled his eyes and took a seat opposite of Kurt. The plates and silver covers were still warm.

"Eat a banana and drink the orange juice first. If you can keep those down, then you should be good to eat something else."

"Kurt, I don't think I'm-"

"You have a hang over. Of course you're not hungry. The potassium in the banana and juice will help. Just try okay?"

Blaine sighed again and did as he was told. Of course he would. He always did as he was told when it came to Kurt. He loved him. Now that he knew Kurt loved him back he was more apt to believe Kurt had his best interest at heart. He smiled and made a face before taking a bite.

"So we had a good time last night?" Kurt asked, making an adorable expression over his phone.

"Yes. Yes, we had a great night." He overlooked the crying and the sad moments and tried to best to erase them because what good would it do to remember something Kurt couldn't and wouldn't want to even if he could.

* * *

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**

**We're getting a little closer to Kurt's secret. :) What did you think?**


	20. Chapter 20

******This one update a week thing isn't good enough... I need to work harder for you all :)**

******WARNING! **Mention of alternate pairing

* * *

**Chapter 20**

The weekend came and went with no more bouts of drunkenness, but definitely more dancing on Saturday night. Kurt was an excellent tour guide at the museums and Burt took Kurt and Blaine, against Kurt's will, to a football game. They had box seats so Kurt was at least able to ignore the whole thing and play on his ipad. He planned to punish Blaine for this by teasing him later in bed until he begged.

On Monday evening the first of a three day school week due to Thanksgiving break, Blaine stopped by Kurt's house after karate because Kurt asked him to come by and help him study for a History exam. Later, when Blaine was lying naked in Kurt's bed with no books having been taken out to begin with, he realized that Kurt had no intensions of studying anything except Blaine's face. He was also possibly testing Blaine's stamina because he kept moaning and urging Blaine to thrust harder and faster.

Kurt had gotten up to clean up a little and then go get them something to drink. Blaine was exhausted. His head turned to the nightstand next to the bed when he heard a phone buzzing. His phone was next to Kurt's. He'd never noticed that Kurt had the same exact phone as him. He grabbed the still buzzing phone and opened the screen. It went straight to the text message. _Oops, _Blaine thought. _Not mine. _He meant to put the phone back, but his brain registered that a Chandler person had sent a text saying **C-When do I get to see you again?**

_Again?_ Blaine wondered, jealousy and a pang of hurt shooting to his heart. _There was a first time?_ He tried to convince himself that nothing was going on with Kurt and anyone else because _When would he have time? _And _We're already doing it almost every day. Why would he need to get it somewhere else?_ Without putting the phone down, he put his boxers and pants on. The phone was like glue in his hand. He couldn't put it back. Another buzz. Blaine knew he shouldn't be snooping. It wasn't his phone and it probably wasn't what he thought. Not to mention Kurt wasn't his boyfriend. He didn't know what they were. But all of that didn't stop him from opening the text.

**C- You do remember me, right? I figured you wouldn't be able to forget after our little romp last week.**

_Last week? _Chandler's text confirmed Blaine's fear. _He was with me every day last week_. His heart stopped.

"I need to go grocery shopping." Kurt walked into the room wearing only a pair of jeans hanging low on his hips. "I only have orange soda in the fridge. Is that okay?" He smiled and held out a soda can. Blaine didn't take it, but stared at the aluminum can. "What's wrong? I can get something else if you don't want soda."

"It's not the soda." He grabbed his socks and pulled them on.

"Are you going somewhere?" Kurt watched Blaine start to hurry around the room to get dressed.

"Home." There was a sense of frantic finality to his voice.

"Why? You're curfew isn't for another hour or something."

Blaine stopped moving and stood facing Kurt, looking defeated. "Who's Chandler?"

Kurt looked confused. "Is this a trick question?"

"No. Who's Chandler?"

He made a noise mixed between a scoff and chortle. Blaine was aghast at how Kurt thought this was funny. "I don't know. Who's Chandler?" His phone was tossed onto the bed near Kurt. "You went through my phone?"

"We have the same one and I thought it was mine. I opened it and saw a message from Chandler wondering when he was going to see you again. Who's Chandler?"

Honestly, Kurt didn't remember anyone named Chandler, but when he looked at his text message from the boy, he remembered the teen that seemed so desperate for Kurt affections, it took no time to get his pants around his ankles in a public bathroom. "I don't know. Just some guy I met at Between The Sheets. He goes to North Lima High." Kurt appeared bothered that he was caught, but he wasn't about to spare any detail so long as he was asked. It was obvious he was on the defensive, as if he did nothing wrong.

"Were you with him?"

The taller boy scoff-laughed again and smiled. _He actually smiled_! "For like five minutes. He didn't last that long." His eyes rolled. "I have no intentions of seeing him again."

"Am I supposed to be okay with knowing you had sex with me last Thursday and this guy too?"

"What's the big deal?" Kurt knew it was a big deal. He was doing a hell of a job pretending like he didn't think it was.

"Do I really have to answer that?" The look on Blaine's face was something Kurt would never be comfortable or okay with. Blaine was visibly disappointed. He was dispointed in himself and Kurt. It hurt to think that Kurt was with other men when he claimed to love Blaine.

It hurt Kurt to know his actions had done their worst this time and it was all his doing. He resigned his thoughts to: _This is always how it was supposed to be. I'm no good for him._ He turned his sadness into his old habit of being defensive. "Yes because as far as I'm concerned I don't belong to you and we're not in any form of committed relationship. Ergo, I can fuck whomever I want, whenever I want, and not have to tell you squat."

"And if I did that?" Kurt laughed again. "It wouldn't bother you if I went and hooked up with some random guy?"

He grinned like the devilish cat he was trying to be. "_You_ wouldn't do that. You're a serial monogamous."

"That's not answering the question. Would you be jealous?"

"Why would I be?" _Yes._

Blaine clenched his jaw and balled his fists. He scrambled and finished getting dressed. When he headed for the door, he intended to walk past Kurt and not say anymore, because what else was there to say? He was fuming mad and more hurt than he'd ever been by Kurt. His arm was grabbed on his way to the door, stopping him.

In the final moments, Kurt changed his mind. He couldn't do this. He couldn't leave it this way and he couldn't let Blaine think that he was trying to take him for granted. Kurt did what he did because that's who he was. He felt he was kidding himself if he thought he could be the person Blaine wanted him to be. In Kurt's mind, Kurt wasn't a good person, despite his forced attempts at being one for his teen dream lover. "Blaine, I need to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk and I don't want to listen. I just want to go home and wake up tomorrow without having to deal with you."

"That's it? We're done? Just like that? Over _this?_" His austere was faultering. He knew he really screwed up this time. Maybe for the final time.

"What the fuck, Kurt? How can you say that? I'm done. I'm so done. I can't do this anymore. I give you everything and you pretend to give it back."

"I'm not pretending. I have no idea what you're getting at. Blaine, please. Let me explain. It's no big deal."

"It's a huge deal! You're fucking me and God knows how many more without so much as thinking that I might want to know."

That stung. In Kurt's mind, Blaine might as well have called him a slut. Even though that's not what Blaine meant by his comment, that's what Kurt took out of it. "If you can just-"

"How many times?" Blaine snapped, brows pushed together and eyes ablaze with flames.

"Times? I don't under-"

"You know exactly what I mean. How many times have you gone out to be with someone else?"

Kurt swallowed what little saliva he had in his mouth. His throat was rapidly growing dry. "Eight, since our first date." Blaine's eyes now closed and Kurt saw the pain and disappointment on his face again. "We aren't together!" he argued.

"If a fuck is what you wanted, then why not come to me for that? Why date me and hook up with me, only to go out later and get your rocks off with a stranger? Was I not good enough? Did I not do a good enough job at it that you had to find someone else?"

"No! Blaine this wasn't you! It's me. You don't get it."

"It's not you it's me? Right." The tone of disbelief was prevalent in the shorter boy's voice.

"It's true. Blaine, I can't change over night. I'm trying as hard as I can, but I thought that if I went out and did these things then I could feel like me again. I'm trying so hard to be someone I'm not for you that-"

"You're not trying hard at all! You're pretending. Silly me. I thought that since you were being nice to me that we must have made progress, but I guess you were happy all the time because you were oversexed. Is that it?"

"No. I'm happy when I'm around you, that's why I'm nicer. The thing is that I'm still awful at relationships and don't know how to be anyone's boyfriend. I don't know what you expected from me. We aren't exclusive and we never even talked about not sleeping with anyone else other than each other."

"We fucked every day! What else was I supposed to expect? Why? Why Kurt? Why wasn't I enough for you?"

"It isn't you!" Kurt shouted. "You're not the problem."

"That's bullshit! You said you wanted to change. You said it last week! You're not even trying. Was that supposed to be some sort of ploy to get back in my pants?"

"No! I meant it!"

"Was there anyone in D.C. that I didn't know about?"

Kurt's defenses were back up again. He was getting angry because that was his go to emotion instead of letting himself feel what he really felt. Reverting back to his old habits wasn't as hard as he thought. It was like slipping on an old glove that formed to your hand perfectly. He shut down. "You know? That bartender was pretty hot. I bet I still have his number in my pants pocket. Didn't you know? He gave that to me pretty quick."

"Stop."

"Why? Can't handle listening? You can dish it, but you can't take it? See, what I should have done was invited him over to our room for a three-way, or told you I was going to the bathroom and met him in there."

"Why didn't you then?"

"I guess I had a lapse in judgment. Sorry, it won't happen again."

"It better not because that same night you have a _lapse_ in judgment… you told me you were in love with me. So, thanks. I guess." There was nothing more Blaine could say or do that could make any of this better. He was patient, but this was enough to make him question anything he's ever done with Kurt. All he could think about was how stupid he is for trusting Kurt and how stupid Kurt must think he is for falling for everything for so long.

"Blaine…" Kurt hoped his words would be enough to stop the curly headed boy.

"Fuck off," Blaine said as he continued out of the room and out of the house.

…

Later that night, Kurt called Karofsky and informed him that they would be going to Scandals. When he explained everything in the car, Karofsky, trying to be a good friend, suggested they do something else instead of fucking the first thing they saw. Kurt very adamantly disagreed. Scandals was where he wanted to go. He ended the conversation with, "I know you like him. He's all yours if you like that sort of thing. Fucking clingy and stupid puppy dog eyes. I swear, you give him an ounce of attention and he looks at you like just handed him the most perfect bone." He laughed. "Well, okay, maybe I did give him the most perfect bone." Karofsky didn't return the laugh. He was wary and wanted to talk to Kurt about all this, but Kurt was his friend and he wanted to be there for him. He knew something was very very wrong when Kurt went out back not with one guy, but two and returned looking like he wasn't sated enough and started eyeing the room again.

Dave faked feeling sick and made Kurt take him home. He wasn't sure if Kurt would go back to Scandals or just go home, but he was hoping for the latter.

On Tuesday, everything unraveled into an even bigger mess than imaginable. Kurt made the mistake of trying to approach Blaine in the hallway, something he never did when they were happy, saying that he needed to talk to him. Blaine continued to ignore him. But Kurt couldn't be run away from in the locker room.

"I need to talk to you."

Blaine didn't even look up from his combination lock that he was opening. "I don't want to talk to you."

"Fine, then just listen."

"No." He opened his locker and pulled out his clothes, turning on his feet and putting them down on the bench behind him.

"Stop being a child. I need to explain something."

Blaine had it. He didn't want Kurt to come near him, never mind talk to him. He didn't know how to make himself any more clearer. He turned abruptly and exploded on the beautiful teen he was in bed with just yesterday. "Explain what? Just because you can't remember telling me that you're in love with me, doesn't mean that it didn't happen. Which means, that even though you apparently loved me, you felt it was still okay to go out and get laid eight times!"

"I don't know what you're talking about! I never recall saying that ever!"

"You were drunk!"

"I've said a lot of things to get into someone's pants."

"Nothing happened."

"I'm not your boyfriend. Just because we fucked doesn't mean that we'd be together forever!"

Blaine's eyes widened and he took in a shaky breath. It wasn't until now that he realized how quiet it was in the locker room. Just over Kurt's left shoulder, Blaine was able to see a few boys with shocked and disgusted expressions. "Kurt…" It was almost a whisper. But Kurt already knew what Blaine was warning him about. Over Blaine's right shoulder was another small group of teens with the same expression as the ones behind Kurt. The Kurt and Blaine drama was now the center of attention.

Kurt's mouth was hanging open and his face read more emotions than Blaine had ever seen him show. He was in trouble. His so called _friends_ now knew his secret. A couple secrets, in fact. It was small and almost incoherent, but both boys were able to hear it. A very faint voice calling them both fags came from somewhere in the crowd. He was angry and glared at Blaine because this was all his fault. If Blaine hadn't weaseled his way in Kurt's heart, this never would have happened. _Why couldn't you have just stayed away?_ "You fucking queer," Kurt spat at Blaine.

"What?" He asked confusedly. He wasn't sure he heard the tall swimmer in front of him clearly.

"I called you a fucking queer!"

"Look who's talking!" Blaine shouted back.

Without warning or even thinking, Kurt lunged at Blaine. He grabbed him and shoved him up against the lockers. He made to knee Blaine in the balls, but Blaine was too fast and too strong.

The stronger teen forced Kurt off of him, but Kurt only came back swinging. His arm shot forward and Blaine dodged the punch in enough time to see Kurt's hand connect with the locker behind him, but instinct had him swing back and his hands pinned Kurt to the lockers hard. Their eyes met, fury coursing through them.

"What's going on in here?" Coach Beiste screamed. The boys parted like the red sea to make room for her and Beiste separated both boys from each other. She grabbed them both by the back of their necks and bodily ushered them into the showers. She dropped Blaine in the second stall up front and Kurt in the way back, turning the cold water on both of them. "You two need to cool off. I'll be right back, but if either of you move, I'll personally cut off your hands and feet." She left the showers and the sounds of her voice screaming more at the boys who watched and did nothing to stop Kurt and Blaine from fighting.

Blaine started to shiver beneath the freezing water, hoping it would change temperature soon. In the distance, he could hear Kurt trying to hold back tiny sobs and failing miserably. Part of him wanted to shout out to Kurt or comfort him, but the rest of him, the angry part of him that caused his own heart to race and pound wickedly, kept himself silent and thinking that Kurt brought this on himself. Kurt accidentally outed himself, Kurt was sleeping around and being dishonest, Kurt had only himself to blame.

…..

The next day wasn't much better for either boy. It was hard for Blaine because the news of his secret affair with Kurt was out and had spread like wildfire, but Kurt was the one who got all the attention. He got the looks and stairs, the comments, and the ostracizing from his peers. Blaine being gay was old news and the only ones who cared were Blaine's friends.

At lunch time, Blaine sat awkwardly and uncomfortable at his normal table with his friends. No one said a word. At one point or another, each of them exchanged glances, wondering who was going to break first. Blaine stared down at his salad, playing with his food and only taking a bite every now and then to seem normal. He looked up and saw Kurt sitting alone at a table across the room. He was writing something in a notebook with an untouched salad and opened Snapple bottle. It took a lot of convincing in Blaine's mind not to go over. He hated him. There was no way he was going to comfort the guy who used him and played him for a fool. Because that's how he felt: like a fool. He felt heart broken and stupid for believing that Kurt, the person who warned him over and over that he'd break Blaine's heart, could change. He believed him, even secretly felt elated at times at the thought that Kurt was in love with him, but it didn't take long for Kurt to change his mind. Between his head and his heart, Blaine was in agony. He looked back down.

Kurt was working on a paper during lunch while he _wasn't_ eating his lunch. He was only subjecting himself to sitting in the cafeteria while everyone stared about talked about him behind his back because he wanted to give off the idea that he didn't give a shit what they thought. This was an idea that he was trying to convince himself of. His attitude told him that he didn't care what anyone said or thought because he was still better than all of them, but the rest of him knew he was only kidding himself. He wanted to acceptance of his peers and he wanted Blaine. That part never changed. Sure, he was angry and picked a fight with his former lover yesterday, but that was the diva in him. When he was dropped in the shower yesterday, he started to cry almost instantly. In seconds, he'd lost everything. He lost Blaine, he lost his position in the hierarchy of high school, he lost his friends, nothing was the same.

That's when Karofsky came over with his lunch tray. Kurt looked up, slightly annoyed, but only so out of instinct. He was actually sighing in relief that, probably his only friend, came over. "What are you doing?" Kurt asked.

Dave looked at his friend as if it were obvious. "I was planning on sitting down and eating lunch."

"Don't." Kurt knew what Dave sitting with him would do to the football player's reputation. Despite how he acted, he did care about his friend. "I don't want you to sit with me."

Dave huffed for a second, laughing to himself. "I doubt you're in any place to deny company."

"You're wrong. You sit with me and they'll start thinking that you're gay. Don't do that yourself."

He shrugged his broad shoulders. "Maybe it's time I stopped hiding."

"No it's not and you know. Stop trying to be nice and get out of here. Go back to your friends and talk about me behind my back like everyone else."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Just call me a faggot and get the hell out of here. I'll talk to you later."

Dave took a deep breath, thinking about whether or not Kurt was making the right decision for him. "Okay. Hang in there, Kurt." He skipped calling Kurt a derogatory name and turned around, tray still in hand, and headed off to the jock table.

Back at the glee table, Blaine saw the whole thing out of the corner of his eyes. Tina was the first to break the silence. "Maybe we should invite him to sit with us."

"No." Blaine snapped immediately.

"Blaine, he's one of us," he argued Tina sympathetically.

"He's _not_ one of us. When was the last time he talked to any of you for more than three seconds outside of glee? He's a jock and hangs out with the jocks and cheerleaders. Let them sit with him."

"Blaine…" she cajoled. "He's alone. Don't you care even a little bit?"

He gulped and averted his eyes from all of the pairs at his table, who couldn't take their curious orbs away. The only way he could feel any more uncomfortable was if Kurt was sitting next to him. He could feel the back of his neck heating up and his stomach was turning. "Someone please go sit with him!" Blaine blurted out, still not looking anyone in the eyes, but looking frazzled and torn. No one moved at first because, while it was the nice thing to do, Blaine was right, Kurt never spoke to any of them outside of glee and no one really knew him all that well. Not to mention that Blaine was their friend and what would it do to their friendship if it looked like they were siding with Kurt.

Then there was movement. Joe stood up. "I'll go. I'm sorry you're hurting, Blaine. I don't know how you feel about this, but I'll pray for you to find clarity and peace."

"Thanks." He wasn't sure if he meant it or not because Joe's overt religiousness often made him uncomfortable, but at the moment, it was a nice thing for him to say, and far be it for him to refuse any help to make his mind clearer.

Joe made his way over to Kurt and put his tray down. "Hi," he greeted.

This was one of the last people Kurt imagined sitting with him. Well, Blaine was the last person he imagined, but Joe, or anyone of the glee members were a close second. Those were Blaine's friends.

"What are you doing?" he asked for the second time in the past ten minutes.

"Sitting with you."

"You do know I'm gay, right?" It was more of a statement and rhetorical at that, but he looked at the dred-headed boy incredulously.

"That is what people are saying today. I thought you might want a friend. I don't mind that your gay. Love it love, man."

"I'm not in love." He turned his head and picked up his Snapple bottle, trying to do something to look busy.

"But you slept with Blaine."

"If you're looking for details, I doubt you want them."

"Oh! I don't. Sorry if you misunderstood me. I should back track. What I mean is that I don't think God condemns anyone for who they're attracted to."

"Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." Kurt was being sarcastic.

"It's okay that you're angry."

"Why are you being nice to me? Why are you even sitting with me?"

"Because I want to. And you don't have to explain anything to me. The Book of Job taught me that when someone is grieving or in pain, a real friend doesn't try to help make sense of things. He should just be there."

Kurt thought on this for a few seconds. It was probably one of the nicest things anyone has said to him. Except for the things Blaine said when they weren't mad at each other. "Okay then," he finally complied. They sat in silence for the rest of the lunch period and before Joe left to dump his tray, Kurt stopped him with an earnest look and thanked him.

"Have a nice Thanksgiving, Kurt. See you on Monday."

"You too."

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**Okay, I know I'm the queen of mean because of my angst... but honestly, this had to happen. Trust me!**

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	21. Chapter 21

**Not my longest or my best chapter. Actually, when I was editing/reading it over, I thought it was kind of boring, but I needed to show this in order to get to the next chapter. You'll see why.**

**Also, I split this chapter and next chapter up because I didn't want to throw it all at you all at once. There's a warning in the beginning (NOT A BAD ONE) of the next chapter, you may be able to guess it at the end of this chapter.**

**If you think it is boring, I apologize.**

* * *

**Chapter 21**

Thanksgiving went as expected for Blaine. He went over to his grandparents' house and lots of competitions ensued among Blaine, his brother, and his cousins. Blaine massacred his entire family when it came to fencing and spared no moment to rub it in his brother's face because every year until now, Cooper won, and always laid it on thick. During dinner, Nicky sat next to Blaine and looked like an adoring puppy as he asked Blaine question after question and gushed about Dalton and the Warblers.

"I wish you went to Dalton, Blaine," Nicky pushed. "You would be amazing with the Warblers. We'd win everything with you as a lead singer."

Blaine smiled and waved off the compliment, continuing to eat his overflowing plate of food. He loved Nicky, but his compliments sometimes became too much. The flattery was overwhelming and he felt he didn't deserve much of it.

"I doubt mom and dad would ever let Blaine go to that school," Cooper joined in between bites of gravy covered turkey. "Not with their reputation smeared from that teacher."

"Tuition went down and even with their reputation sullied, a diploma from Dalton would look better than a public school in the long run," Annie said.

"At what cost?" Cooper inquired, mouth full of stuffing.

"I'm not stupid. I'd never fall for some creeper's plan like that," Nicky said with his mashed potatoes smushed to one side of his mouth so he could talk.. He swallowed the starchy vegetable down and continued. "…and I'm not gay so…" The fork in his hand stopped digging at his peas. "Not that it's wrong! I mean, I-"

Blaine clicked his tongue, not caring or finding anything Nicky said offensive. "Nicky, it's fine," he assuaged. "You didn't say anything wrong."

The younger cousin exhaled in relief. "Good. I don't want you to think I'm some sort of bigot or something."

"Oo! Bigot. That's big word, baby cousin!" Cooper laughed, poking fun at Nicky.

"It's kind of hard to be a homophobe when you're always up his butt with compliments," Annie joked.

"I am not!"

Blaine laughed to himself, but kept a straight face. "Now that actually would be gay." His cousins and Cooper stared at him. "Up his butt; get it?" He grinned a little and Annie was the first to break into laughter before the others joined in.

Between dinner and desert, it was a tradition to gather around the living room and relax. The musically inclined members often sang songs and played the piano and/or the guitar. The entire family, the adults slightly buzzed off of holiday drinks, sang along to a Christmas Carol that Blaine and his grandfather played as a duet on the piano. His grandmother was a big Etta James fan and her and his grandfather's wedding song was At Last. The whole family watched as they swayed together romantically, as if no one was watching and they were young again in the throws of young love. Blaine played the piano and serenaded their dance.

The more he watched them, the more he started to feel jealous. Not a bad jealous, but a wanting feeling. He wanted to be in his sixties or seventies and still in love with the same man he'd been with before hair turned gray and bodies started to ache from ware. He wanted someone to love who knew him like the back of their own hand and little every day quirks and tendencies were normal and far past annoying or endearing. He wanted to wake up and have coffee by the window with his crossword puzzle and have his equally as old husband come over and fix his glasses that have slipped down his nose. He wanted to be getting ready for his grandchild's wedding and straightening his husband's tie because it's something he always got wrong. He wanted that. He wanted all of that.

The next morning, early early morning at that, Blaine found himself clutching a cup of extra strong coffee and looking through a DVD bin. It was Black Friday and Rachel and Tina convinced him to go Christmas shopping with them at 2:00 AM to get the best deals on things. They were in Victoria's Secret and he was in Best Buy looking at movies, music, and electronics for his family. He selected a few titles, one for himself because his copy of Kill Bill got ruined when he loaned it out to Finn Hudson and it got scratched. He meandered his way over to the music section to look at cds and old albums on vinyl. Cooper had a love of all music on vinyl records.

"Hi."

A familiar voice caused his head to turn and see Dave Karofsky looking through a crate of albums next to him. "Hi," Blaine answered with a smile, though not sure why he was so happy to see a familiar face. Restlessness was not the best thing in Blaine's mind.

"Are you here by yourself?" Dave asked.

"No. Tina and Rachel are in another store. Girl's lingerie isn't really my thing."

The larger boy chuckled and raised his eyebrows. "I know the feeling."

"Are you Christmas shopping too?"

"Yes and no. Dad wanted a new flat screen and the big ones are on sale. He wanted me to come with him to help lug it around."

"Gotcha."

"Sssoooo how was your Thanksgiving?" The conversation felt normal, but it was sounding more like filler. Karofsky actually came over to Blaine with a thought in mind.

"It was great. Yours?"

"Small. Quiet. Relaxed. I can't complain. Say- um. D-do you have any- um- plans? Like t-tomorrow?"

Blaine took in the football player's posture and expression. He looked a little nervous. At best he was flustered. "Hanging out with Eli."

"Oh." His face fell.

"Why?"

"Well, um. I- ah. You wouldn't want to go into Columbus with me and have dinner, would you? Maybe go dancing afterwards?" Now he was nervous. He looked hopeful, but clearly he was expecting a negative response.

"Tomorrow night?" Dave nodded in the affirmative. The question was odd to Blaine. He hadn't seen it coming or even thought it would ever come in this life time. Not from Dave Karofsky. "L-like a date?"

The right tackle gulped. "Y-yeah," he stuttered, still nervous as hell.

"Oh. I don't know, Dave. I mean, you're nice and everything, but with everything that happened this week-"

"If it's Kurt you're worried about, he already said that he didn't care if I asked you out."

The name and the news struck a chord in Blaine immediately. "He did?" _So soon?_ His heart broke at the thought that he was to easily forgotten by Kurt.

Karofsky nodded again. "Well, not quite so eloquently, but you know him."

"He probably said something to the effect of: you can have him."

Dave wasn't going to confirm Blaine's musing, but that's exactly what Kurt said the previous Monday night. "So…?" The sounds of shoppers running around trying to get the items they wanted as fast as possible drowned out their own silence as Blaine thought. "If you have other plans… like with Eli…" He looked down at the floor and put his hands in his letterman jacket pockets. "Or if you don't like me like that… I understand."

Lightning struck Blaine's brain and he had an epiphany. _If Kurt can set me aside so quickly, I can do the same_._ See how he likes it._ "You know? Um. Eli is actually leaving my house after four o'clock to have dinner with his own family, but I'm free after that, if you want."

"You want to go with me?"

"Yeah. Sure." He smiled. "Sounds like fun."

"Wow. Uh, great! I'll pick you up? Like six-ish?"

"It's a date."

…

"You look somewhere else," Eli commented during lunch with Blaine. They had sandwiches, chips, and a variety of snacks in the living room while they watched one of the movies Blaine bought yesterday.

"I don't know. I guess I'm a little distracted. A guy I go to school with asked me out yesterday." He crunched on a chip and took a sip of his soda, not looking at Eli as he spoke. He wasn't avoiding. He was just concentrating on his food.

"A guy?" Eli's mouth went dry. "Who? Do I know him?" The words were coming out fast, almost panicked.

Another sip of soda went down. "Yeah, actually. I forgot that you two met. Dave. The guy who hangs out with Kurt."

"Oh." The skinny redhead cleared his throat. "Bulky football type. I never would have guessed that was your thing."

"I don't really have a thing, per say, I guess. I don't know. He's nice; he asked… I said yes." A bite of Peanut butter and jelly sandwich went down the hatch.

Eli started to pick at the bread on his sandwich. "So is he your boyfriend now or something?"

"No! God, no. It's just a date. Like I said, he's nice. I guess. I mean, I used to not like him just because he was part of the crowd who picked on me, but I've gotten to know him a bit. He's not bad. Plus, he carried my ass out of the bar and into Kurt's house that one time. I kind of owe him."

The boys were complete opposites at the moment. Blaine acted like it was nothing and he wasn't looking anywhere but his food and the movie, a vision of comfort ability. Eli was openly staring.

_So, that's what he wants,_ the carrot topped teen thought. _He wants someone to just ask. Confidence. I can do that._

Eli helped Blaine pick out a suitable outfit for the date on Eli's insistance, making it a game of some sorts. Blaine had never been much for fashion and had never given impressing Dave Karofsky a thought before, so the moment when Eli asked him what he was going to wear gave him some anxiety. What was he supposed to wear? His normal clothes that had Rubik's Cube or gym screenings on them would show Dave that he didn't care. Also, they wouldn't make him look good at whatever dance club they went to. Even at his most stylish, aka whatever he wore during school hours to hopefully make Kurt think his butt looked good, weren't good enough for a date, per se. Eli picked out an outfit that Kurt had made him buy last weekend while they were in Washing D.C.

Immediately, Blaine didn't want to wear it because it had a memory of Kurt attached to it, but he didn't say anything because he didn't feel like explaining everything to Eli. And it would be _everything_ because Eli knew nothing about his tryst with Kurt. At the moment, Eli and Blaine's parents were the only ones who didn't know. Either way, he kindly suggested something else because Blaine "wasn't feeling it." An explanation was tossed out as "I don't want to give him the idea that I want someone else to notice me, but I also don't want him to think that I'm willing to go to bed with him."

"Good idea!" Eli quickly enthused and selected another outfit. Before he left, he hugged Blaine tightly and said, "Call me tomorrow and tell me _everything._ If you want, you can text me when you get home tonight. I don't care what time."

"You seem more excited about this date than I do."

"I'm living vicariously through you," he lied. "The only dates I've been on are in my head."

"Okay," Blaine agreed. "I'll call you tomorrow. Thought I doubt there will be any exciting anything to speak of."

"Even so, call me anyway." Eli was making himself way too excited over this and not in a happy way. It made Blaine curious, but said this thank yous and good byes and went back inside his house after his friend left.

"What am I doing?" he said to himself.

In the shower later, Blaine was convincing himself that this was a good thing and he wasn't just going out with Dave to make Kurt jealous. He was failing. _Dave's nice. He's also Kurt's closest friend._ The dualities ran through his head on loop. _Dave will be good to you and won't lie. You're not attracted to him. You don't have to go to bed with him, so it doesn't matter if you're attracted to him._ When he was getting dressed, Blaine looked in the mirror and squared off with himself. "This a good thing. Friends. It will be fun."

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**It was boring wasn't it? I warned you. Sorry :( Please review anyway?**

**I'm working some kinks out of the next chapter and that one will be up soon. It won't take me a week to update I promise :)**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	22. Chapter 22

**Warning! **Alternate ship on a date (no smut)

* * *

**Chapter 22**

Dave picked Blaine up on time and met Blaine's parents. He was floored at how nice they were and how accepting. For someone who wasn't out of the closet yet, it was amazing to see one possibility of how his parents could act towards his own homosexuality. It wasn't long before they were on the road and Dave couldn't help, but notice how great Blaine looked and smelled. His cologne wasn't too strong and it smelled like a generic cologne that many of the boys wore at school, only he didn't smell like he bathed in it. It was perfect.

Blaine was cordial and sweet, complimenting Dave and being patient with the music. Their tastes differed a little, but not much. It took a little while, but they drove straight to the restaurant Dave had picked out. They chatted through the first round of drinks and their appetizer that they shared. Conversation was getting a little dry by the time Dave broke out bolding with, "Look, I know you like Kurt." He said it as an ice breaker, hoping that once it was out in the open, things might not be as awkward now that they were officially on a date.

"Correction," Blaine interrupted. "I hate Kurt."

Dave chuckled slightly. "Okay. I can see that too."

"I know he's your friend and all, but he kind of ruined whatever anything he and I could have." Blaine knew it was in bad taste to talk about a ruined relationship on a date, but it sort of just slipped out. He wished he could have taken it back as soon as he said it.

"Well, I can't say that I'm all that disappointed." He smiled and nervously bit the corner of his lover lip. "If he didn't screw up, I wouldn't have been able to ask you out." He gulped. "I've kind of had a crush on you since Sophmore year."

Disbelief and awe clouded Blaine's face. "Seriously? I thought you hated me."

"No. That's why I never picked on you. I mean, I know I didn't make things easier by never defending you when everyone else did, but I never could. I thought that if I stood up for you, they'd all start calling me gay or something." It was something he was willing to admit, but shame was still the majority of feelings that came with the story he just told.

"I'm not the only gay guy in McKinley though."

"I know. That's not why I like you. I like you because your smart and witty. You are level headed. Also, you're dreamy as hell, so that helps." Both boys blushed, but only Karofsky looked away.

Blaine was more flattered than anything else. "Thank you."

"I don't know if Kurt ever saw that. That's why I hate about being his friend and liking you. I hated that he acted like you were property instead of a prize. He made it perfectly clear that he had claim on you and that if I really was a friend, I was not to go any further."

Blaine's hazel eyes narrowed in curiosity and something else he couldn't pinpoint at the moment. "So, you knew about everything he was doing?"

There was a pause and Karofsky started wringing his hands. He wanted to be honest and was going to be, but that didn't make the question any easier to answer. "I did, but I thought you knew too."

Then it dawned on Blaine. He felt so stupid. "You must think I'm an idiot for thinking Kurt would settle down with one person, huh?"

"No. I don't think you're an idiot at all. Kurt's not a very good communicator. He gets his point across very well, but he doesn't tell the whole story. I just thought you knew because he went out so often. I guess I pictured you two hanging out and then you not being able to go with us or not wanting to. He never mentioned it to me. But then again, he knew I like you, so why would he? In all honesty, I really thought he liked you. What he did was wrong and I'm sorry it ended the way it did."

"Don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong. Were you with him all those times?"

"Whenever he went to Scandals, yes, I went with him."

"What is he like?"

"I don't know if you remember seeing him that one night before you were drugged." The memory was hazy, but Blaine remembered how men draped themselves all over Kurt and Kurt looked like he loved it. "He's usually like that. -Just very flirtatious and open to affections."

"Are you like that too?" Blaine was genuinely curious.

"Me? No. I mean, I'm an eighteen year old guy. I have hooked up with guys, I admit to that, but I don't do it all the time. Kurt… he seems to get with someone _every_ time we go out. Sometimes more than once." Dave wished he hadn't said that last part because the look on Blaine's face made him question having this whole conversation at all. "God, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

Blaine shook his head. "No. I needed to hear that. I really had no idea what kind of person I was with." His eyebrows shrugged and he huffed. "I was so completely clueless."

"I wouldn't say _clueless,_" Karofsky emphasized. "I think he lead you to think one thing and you, being the inexperienced one, believed him. It wasn't fair and he should have told you."

"I just don't understand him. Like, what happened to him to make him act like that to me and everyone else?"

Karofsky furrowed his brows, thinking and taking a bite of his food. "Mm, whatever happened, I think it was in his freshman year."

The curly haired dream mimicked his date's face and sipped his drink. "Why do you say that?"

"Didn't you know? He switched schools like three times. He was in one school for Junior High, another for freshman year, then Dalton for two years, and now McKinley."

"Right, but he left Dalton because he dad pulled him from the school."

"So that only leaves the very short year he had first year."

"My cousin goes to Dalton. Even with it's reputations, it's an amazing school. Maybe he went there for the education."

"Doubt it. If that were the case, wouldn't he have just gone there right off the bat? Whatever happened, I think it was the reason he transferred to a school with a zero tolerance policy."

It took exactly two seconds for Blaine to surface a memory of Kurt saying that his dad thought it was best if Kurt kept his sexuality a secret. Maybe Dave was right. Blaine knew what it was like to be outed. Maybe something like that had happened to Kurt. _But that doesn't make sense,_ he thought. _Being outed or teased doesn't make someone become controlling and promiscuous._ He sighed heavily through his nose and faked a smile. "Can we talk about anything else? I really would hate for our date to be spent talking about a guy we both hooked up with."

The football player's eyes lit up and made his lips into a flat line. "I couldn't agree with you more. So, what kind of movies do you like?"

The rest of dinner was pleasant. They ate their meals and laughed and fell from one comfortable discussion to another. By the time they got to a gay club called Stix, Blaine found himself actually enjoying the night. He really didn't know Dave Karofsky all that well and it was nice to see the guy behind the teen who he used to despise.

They got to the door and Dave got in without question. Blaine, on the other hand, was looked up and down several times from his face to his fake ID and back again by the door manager. "5'10," brown eyes, 23?"

"That's me," Blaine said pretending to be confident and assured.

Sensing that Blaine's ID wasn't passing, Karofsky put his hand on the doorman's shoulder and got close to his ear. "He's with me."

The doorman smirked and took one last look at Blaine. He swallowed hard, knowing Blaine was underage, but finding him breathtakingly sexy. "You boys have a good night." He handed the fake ID back to Blaine and let them through. There was no doubt about the doorman's wish to know Blaine the way he knew Dave.

"Do I even have to ask?" Blaine said sarcastically.

"You can guess and probably be right," Dave chuckled. "Sorry, but knowing the doorman has it's perks."

"I can see that."

"Can I get you a drink?"

"Uh, yeah. I'll take a beer."

"Thank God you're not a cocktail carrier. I don't do dainty."

"I like cocktails too."

"Which do you like more?"

"Neither, I think. I'm slowly becoming more of an On-The-Rocks type guy. Though, I do really like wine as well."

"You've been around Kurt too much. He's a major wine-o."

"Don't I know it." There was a comfortable enthusiasm between them now, but as much as they kept saying that they didn't want to talk about Kurt, his name always found its way into the conversation every so often.

"Whenever we go out, though, he sticks to cocktails and martinis. They just look so girly. I'll take a beer any day."

Blaine gave the football player a look, but smiled and said, "You look into what people drink too hard."

Dave ordered the drinks and they chatted some more, finding they had more in common than they thought, but that still didn't say anything because they still had less in common than things that they disagreed on. Blaine was surprised to realize that he was having a great time. He didn't think they had a whole lot of chemistry, but friendship was definitely now a possibility.

Stix was packed and half naked men were a plenty. Dave and Karofsky danced exclusively with each other. The taller teen did not want anyone stealing his date away; not when he was finally getting Blaine all to himself.

About two hours after they arrived, Blaine let Dave know that he'd be right back because he had to go to the bathroom. Karofsky said he had to as well, so he took Blaine's hand in his and lead him to the restrooms. Both of them stopped dead in their tracks about fifteen feet from the doors.

Blaine's heart pounded. He was jealous, disappointed, and heartbroken by the sight he saw. Kurt Hummel was pressed up against the wall with a blonde twenty something kissing him and whispering things in his ear that made him giggle. The blonde moved his lips to Kurt's neck and he opened his eyes. Over the blonde's shoulder he spotted them. His friend and his ex lover, holding hands, looking at him with varying expressions.

The blonde removed his lips and peeled his body off Kurt's. He held the lithe teen's hand and tugged him toward a room in the back where men often went to have sex. Kurt remained where he stood, his arm outstretched and still being playfully pulled. He continued to look at Blaine and his eyes traveled from the gorgeous honey eyes, to his clasped hand in Dave's, then up to Dave's face and back again. Blaine's expressions went from disappointment, to anger, then pleading.

Mentally, Blaine was begging and screaming for Kurt to not go with the skinny blonde. _Don't do this to yourself,_ he pleaded. _Don't go with him._

Kurt's eyes bore into Blaine's before one last tug of his arm made him look back at the nameless man attached to his hand. For a second, he thought about not going to the back room, but the sight of his best friend holding hands with Blaine helped make the decision. He shot Dave a glare and allowed himself to be pulled.

Blaine swallowed back his rage and wiggled his hand free from his date's. "I want to go home," he said and spun on his heels. He ignored Karofsky's attempts at getting his attention as he made his way through the crowd of men gyrating and dancing to the thump thumping base of the music.

"Blaine, wait!" Karofsky yelled. Blaine finally stopped in the parking lot, trying to remember where Dave parked his car.

"Did you know he'd be here?" Blaine asked pointedly.

"No! I thought he was in D.C. with his father. Blaine, I swear. I'm so sorry. I'll take you home, just please calm down for a second."

"Where's your car?"

Dave pointed his right index finger to another line of cars and pulled his car keys from his pocket. He got closer to Blaine and under the light of a lamppost, the broad shouldered teen saw the hurt and betrayal in Blaine's eyes. It was obvious to him now. Blaine didn't really have an interest in him the way Dave wanted him to, the way Dave felt for Blaine. Blaine was in love with Kurt and there was no changing that. He gently handed his keys to his friend, who was no longer his date. "You can go start the car and wait. I'll be right back. We left our coats inside."

"I'm sorry," Blaine said, apologizing for many things.

"Don't apologize." A warm smile formed on Karofsky's lips. "Everything will be okay. The car's over there." He pointed again. "I'll be right back."

They parted ways and Karofsky's expression had changed. He wasn't accepting, or nice, or even all that calm. He was pissed. Nothing had changed in the few minutes he'd been out of Stix and he completely bypassed the jacket check. He went straight to the other end of the establishment and into the back room. He found his intended target almost instantly.

Kurt was leaning his back against the wall with his head tilted back, eyes closed, and his pants pulled down past his thighs. The blonde he was pulled back there by, appeared to have zero gag reflex as evidenced by the fact he had taken Kurt in whole with no effort. The sight made Dave even angrier. _How can he even do this after seeing the look on Blaine's face?_ "Hey, Prince Charming! Fuck off!" Dave demanded over the loudness of heavy base music and moaning men. Both Kurt and the blonde looked up at the football player who was currently making himself look much bigger than he actually was.

"Dave, get out of here," Kurt groaned lazily and annoyed.

"I was here first," said the blonde. "Get your own twink, bitch." He rolled his eyes and made motion to put his mouth back around Kurt's dick.

"I said, Fuck off!" Dave commanded even rougher, wanting to punch the blonde's bitch expression right off his face.

Kurt brushed the blonde's cheek and looked down on him sweetly. It made Dave sick. "Give us a minute, baby, okay?"

The blonde flashed Kurt his bitch face and stood up. "I don't wait. It's either Shrek," he looked Karofsky up and down, "or me."

Kurt pulled his pants up and smiled. "It's him. By the way, I'd get some pointers from someone. I'll have to shower twice to get your slobber off my neck and while your gag reflex is impressive, you suck dick worse than someone whose only skills involve eating a popsicle."

"Bitch!" The blonde called over his shoulder.

Kurt turned to Dave, who he was royally hating at the moment. It was a rule to never get in the way of a man who was about to get laid. "What? You wanted to take him away from me too?"

"What is your fucking problem? How many times are you going to hurt him?"

"Him who?"

"Blaine!"

"What do you care? You should be happy I screwed that one up. He went out with you, didn't he?"

"So you admit that you screwed up?"

Kurt buttoned his pants, but remained leaning against the wall. His eyes now pretending to not care. "What does it matter, K?"

"You said I could have him. You knew I liked him. I saw your face when you saw us. I'm not the one in the wrong here."

"I didn't actually think he'd say yes."

"Why not?"

"Because you're…" He paused, licking his lips and looking for the right words. "You're not his type."

"You mean, I'm not you."

"Whatever."

"No, it's not whatever. Tell me, are you being an asshole on purpose or is it a complete accident?"

"I'm the asshole? You're on a date with the-"

"the what?" Dave questioned pointedly, knowing Kurt slipped up in his austere.

What Kurt almost said was that Dave was on a date with the guy that he was in love with, but he didn't really mean to say it. "Nothing. Go finish your date."

"Nothing? That's what Blaine is to you?"

"Less than nothing."

"My god, you're such a fucking liar! When are you going to get out of your own way and see what I see every day. He wants to be with you so bad, but you won't let him. How could you do this to him? How could you fuck around when you had him where you wanted him? He's perfect. He's so fucking perfect and you don't give a shit."

"You don't know anything."

"Bullshit! I know more than you think. More than you'd expect. If you really gave a shit about him, you'd stop doing this to him. He forgives you again and again when you continue to give him reasons not to. Well, good for you, you fucked up the only thing in your life you really wanted."

"What do you want from me here, K, because I'm at a loss right now. Do you just want to yell at me or what? You scared off my kick for the night." Kurt glared and then raised an eyebrow, acting cocky and continuing his act of not caring. He felt the need to solidify the asshole act even more by saying, "Care to take his place?"

Karofsky shook his head, biting the inside of his lip. If his eyes could throw knives right now, they would be. Kurt was his friend, but he had never been angrier with him. "I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry, disappointed, and frankly disgusted right now. You're better than this and Blaine doesn't deserve to feel this way. If you were smart, you'd make an attempt to fix it, but after tonight, I don't know if that's possible. So, you want to be alone in this, you win."

Kurt swallowed down everything he was feeling, unable to act strong anymore. "Are we finished here?"

Karofsky huffed. "Yes. I'd say we're definitely done here." He left his friend in the room and, like he was having tunnel vision, he bypassed everyone to the jacket check and got both his and Blaine's coats. By the time he got back to car, his vehicle was warm and Blaine was fiddling with the radio.

"Everything okay? I didn't think it would take that long to get our coats." Blaine was trying to be nice, but his tone came off still hurt and annoyed by accident.

Dropping himself into his car and shutting the door a little too hard, the angry teen wasn't able to hide his feelings from Blaine's recognition. "I ran into Kurt."

"So soon? I would have thought it would take longer."

"I-I just can't stand how he treats you. Y-you're amazing and a freaking teenage dream. I'm sorry if I'm being forward or something, but I don't understand him. I'm his friend, shouldn't I understand? No. He keeps everything to himself and ruins everything. He acts like he doesn't care about you, even though I _know_ he does. And you- you forgive him. _Every time_ you forgive him and take him back when he doesn't deserve it."

"Am I being chastised?"

Bulky hands covered Dave's face and rubbed his eyes. "No. I'm sorry." He calmed himself down and turned to Blaine fully now, spinning as much as he could at the waist. "That's not what I meant to do." He took a large breath and exhaled. "I like you. I really like you. Kurt's my friend, but I don't like the way he treats people, particularly you. I can see how he makes you feel. It's written all over you and it isn't fair because I would be so much better to you. He doesn't deserve you. Yet, even now, while you claim to hate him, I can still see how much what you saw hurt you because you're still hoping that he'll change, so maybe you two can be happy."

Giving himself a minute to let everything soak in, Blaine carefully thought out what he should say. "I want to be happy, but I don't think that I'd be happy with Kurt anymore. So, there's correction number one," he explained gently and quietly. "But, yes, I still have feelings for him. Strong ones. I do hate him, but there's still a part of me that wants the best for him. I want him to be happy and I want him to treat himself better."

"I don't know if that's ever going to happen."

"I know. And I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I'm glad that we're on this date, but-"

Dave raised his eyebrows and closed his eyes. He didn't look mad or hurt, but he did look tired. "I know you don't like me like that. I was hoping that maybe we could have an evening alone together where there might be a possibility that could change, but I know that isn't going to happen." His tone was very conversational, like he wasn't surprised by any of what he was hearing.

Blaine clicked his teeth, feeling awful and not knowing what to say. He didn't want things to end like this. It wasn't his fault that he wasn't attracted to or have feelings for Dave Karofsky. It wasn't in his programming. Much like he wasn't attracted to women, he felt nothing for Karofsky more than friendship. And Blaine did want friendship with him. "I wish I knew what to say more than 'I'm sorry.'"

"You don't have to say anything. I'm not mad and I don't blame you. I can't make you have feelings for me and that's okay."

"I don't know how this sounds, but can we be friends?"

"Yes. I would like that very much." They smiled at each other. "Now, why don't we stop and get some coffee on our way to bringing you home."

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**Did you really think that I was going to make Blaine and Karofsky hook up? :P**

**Thanks for all the great messages for last chapter. Sorry if you thought it was boring, but hopefully this made up for it. There is an interesting chapter coming up next :)**

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N **

**If you thought Blaine was going to hook up with Karofsky… SHAME ON YOU! :P Have a bit more faith in me. It would have been HUGELY OOC for my version of Blaine. Yes, he didn't take long to jump in the sack with Kurt, but let's be honest… it's Kurt and this is a Klaine story. So, if you skipped over last chapter thinking Blainofsky was going to happen, go back and read the chapter. It's not what you expected it to be.**

**Kurt is going to act very strange and all over the place in the next few chapters. His actions will be random, contradictory, and aren't going to make a whole lot of sense, but it will in the end. You all know how Kurt's got a story that he'd been hiding this whole time, now add constantly wanting Blaine in his head and you'll get the ticking time bomb that is the Kurt I am dealing with right now.**

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**Chapter 23**

Blaine and Karofsky hadn't seen it, but almost immediately after Karofsky left Stix, Kurt left too, without trying to get with anyone else. The entire drive home he spent the time berating himself and saying out loud that he couldn't have both Blaine and his normal life.

He was losing his grasp on everything. It was clear that Blaine had done something to Kurt that made him question everything. Yes, it was true that he hated everything about himself and being with Blaine made him feel better, but his subconscious always ended up taking over when he was too overwhelmed and ruined everything. He didn't know how to get Blaine's attention and let him know that he's truly sorry. Saying he was sorry wasn't enough because to Kurt, and to Blaine as he suspected, it was just words. Kurt would have to do something big to get Blaine to forgive him this time. He didn't even know if that were possible, but he wanted to try.

Seeing Blaine holding hands with Karofsky was probably what settled it for Kurt. He knew now the Blaine was trying to move on. He didn't want that. If he could somehow keep Blaine in his sights and not moving forward long enough, Kurt felt that maybe he could come up with something. He'd try anything. All he knew is that he had to get Blaine back by any means necessary. He also knew that in order to do that, This would be his last trip to gay bars for a while.

The thought of not going out most nights made Kurt start to have a mini anxiety attack. He'd have to give up everything he did if Blaine was what he wanted. Doing those things served a purpose and was a big part of what made Kurt, Kurt. It was so overwhelming that he had to pull over his car. He was actually going to do this. In essence, he'd have to thank Blaine because he was able to do something that Kurt's therapists had never been able to do: face what he was doing to himself head on and be completely honest. He felt sick. His car door opened and he started heaving the liquid contents of his stomach onto the ground. When he had nothing left, he began to cry. He wished Blaine were there to hold him and for the first time ever, Kurt let that wish stay instead of spinning it around into something bad.

Monday came and Kurt resumed his position of acting like everyone was beneath him, even though every whisper and dirty look stung. Joe sat with him again at lunch, though they didn't talk much after exchanging mutual inquiries of, "How was your Thanksgiving?"

In his British Literature class, he abandoned his class work and spent the class making a list of possible ways to get Blaine to give him the time of day to talk to him. His ideas were:

_1. Try to start casual conversation_

_2. Start a fight. Any communication is better than none_

_3. Flirt_

Flirting was probably a long shot and he may never try that, but it was something so he added it to the list. Kurt thought about how he used to get Blaine to forgive him and he cringed at how he used to do it.

_4. Treat him he's nothing and leave him wanting more._

Memories of acting like Blaine wasn't good enough or not worth his time ran on repeat for the rest of the class. By the end, he'd also added:

_5. Sing to him in Glee_

_6. LAST RESORT: break his heart all over again._

He only had to keep doing enough to keep a continuous flow of communication. As long as they were talking, things might look up. In Kurt's eyes, he had no clue how he could or would do any of it, but he had to try. If he failed, he would probably ruin Blaine even more than he already has, but if he succeeded, two hearts could be mended.

Art class was awkward with Blaine sitting in front of him because he wanted to reach forward and tap his shoulder to get his attention. He wanted their normalcy back of being able to talk. Hell, at this point, he'd settle for an argument. Settling was an understatement. Kurt was convinced he'd come in his pants right then and there if they had an argument. Fighting was their foreplay, after all.

He stayed silent, however, not even trying to get Blaine's attention to congratulate him on the A+ they got on their project that they had worked on together for nearly a month. There was hope that Blaine might have acknowledged him, but to no avail, he didn't. Kurt's chance finally came in the locker room before gym.

Blaine was ignoring his existence, but that was expected. "So, how was your date with K?" Kurt wanted to be semi cryptic in case people could hear him. Option one on his list of attempts to win back Blaine seemed like the least harmless thing to do, so he wanted to try that first.

Blaine grabbed his clothes as he always did and put them on the bench behind him. His eyes never wavered and he refused to look at Kurt. "You know how my date went. You saw it."

Both boys were surprised that Blaine even responded at all. He'd either been ignoring him or consistently angry for a week straight now that Blaine answering the casual question without yelling was miraculous. "I saw a few seconds of it. How was the whole thing?"

Off came his shirt and he quickly replaced it with his gym shirt. Underneath all that gel, Blaine thought hard about why he was talking to Kurt and knew he didn't want to _not_ talk to him despite how mad at him and the situation was. "He took me to dinner, we went to Stix, ran into you, then I fucked him for hours." The lie came out of his mouth effortlessly.

Kurt huffed and smiled openly. His plan was working. It was beginning to look easier than he thought. "Even if he _could_ last more than a fraction of what you're pretending he did, I wouldn't believe you. At most, you let him kiss you." He was smiling while he changed into his gym clothes, but secretly, he wished that a kiss didn't happen.

"Why ask then if you don't believe me?" the shorter boy asked, very annoyed.

"I wanted to know if you'd tell me the truth."

"I don't owe you the truth."

"I didn't say you did."

Blaine wanted to call Kurt some vial name, but he knew that would only encourage Kurt more, possibly even turn him on. For a second, he wanted that, but he clicked his teeth and grabbed his shoes from his locker, resigning to put them on somewhere else.

_Okay, maybe it's not that easy,_ Kurt thought, but still counting their conversation as a small victory because Blaine actually spoke to him.

During gym class, they were working on target practice with things like archery and magnetic darts. The archery arrows were barely real and had foam tips. They were hard enough to stick to the target, but soft enough to not break skin if an accident were to occur. The class found out exactly what would happen if one hit a person when Kurt _accidentally _hit Blaine with one. Blaine was forced to sit out the rest of the class so he could ice the welt Kurt's arrow left on his back. Kurt apologized in front of the teacher, but he was smiling the whole time. Blaine had to force himself not to severely hurt the boy in front of him.

"Can I see?" Kurt asked back in the locker room. He moved toward Blaine, who stepped back instantly.

"What is your problem? I know that wasn't an accident," the injured boy snapped.

Kurt smiled again. "I wanted to know if you'd fall in love with me if I shot you with an arrow," he joked, stepping forward again.

"That's cupid, you asshole! This really hurts."

"Here, let me take a look." Kurt moved even closer and reached for Blaine's shirt to lift it up.

"Kurt stop." Blaine tried to squirm away, but the tall boy persisted, never being one for taking orders. "Don't. Kurt get off me!" He shoved Kurt as hard as he could, knocking him over onto the floor. "I know you don't hear no very often, but when I say stop, I mean stop. Jesus!" His breath was coming out in short huffs, cheeks splotched red from uncomfortability.

From the floor, Kurt looked like a vulnerable boy. "I'm sorry," he said, sounding like he meant it.

The look on Kurt's face made Blaine feel guilty for pushing him to the ground. He hadn't meant to do that. He only meant for Kurt to move away. As a peace offering for the moment, he reached out his hand to help his enemy up.

Kurt took the outstretched hand, loving the chance to touch him again, if only for a moment, even if it were just his hand.

"I want you to stay away from me," Blaine admitted softly and without eye contact. "I can't keep doing this with you. I know you don't care, but this hurts more than the arrow and it lasts a hell of a lot longer."

"You're wrong," Kurt confessed equally as soft. "I care. I wouldn't be picking a fight with you if I didn't."

The baritone boy closed his eyes. "You can't fix this, Kurt. So, stop trying."

"Do you still like it when we fight?"

It was a strange question. It seemed like it almost came out of no where to Blaine. "I never really liked it when we fought. You did. I only liked the way the fights ended." He blushed and chastised himself verbally for doing so.

_Keep him talking,_ Kurt thought to himself. "Can we think of this as one elongated fight?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm really hoping that the end of this fight will end the way they all do. With us forgetting all about what made us argue in the first place."

"It already has ended, Kurt. You just don't see it yet."

"I'm sorry I hurt you." He meant it on more than one level. Kurt really was sorry for a lot of things.

"I believe you, but I don't want to forgive you this time. I'm done trying to understand you and why you do the things you do. You're damaged. I know that. Whatever made you the way you are- that's your business. I wanted it to be my business because I wanted to help you. I wanted to believe that you loved me like you said you did, but that's not what you wanted. We were doomed from the start and you never wanted me to know any part of your private life. It was stupid of me to think that you might change just because you said you wanted to."

"I do want to."

"If you really did, you would have made an effort. You're only effort was to go on dates with me. You lived two different lives. The one you showed me, and the real one. You lied to me. In my book, that's way worse than what the lie was." After having a week to think about it, he knew his words to be true. Thought it still hurt every time he was reminded that Kurt was sleeping with other guys while he was sleeping with him, Kurt had been right when he said that they weren't together. Blaine knew they weren't a couple so he got it out of his head that Kurt cheated because that wasn't technically what he did. He just kept important information from him and lead him on. He still hadn't made peace with it because it still pierced his heart to remember, but eventually Blaine knew that he could accept it. Forgiving would be another story.

"I didn't live two lives. I lived one and I kept the other part from you because I didn't want to hurt you. I hate what I did. I do, but only because I hate that I hurt you."

"I don't understand. I don't understand at all. I wish you would talk to me like I was a toddler because all I want to ask you when I see you is 'why?' I want to know why you do the things you do. I want to know why you throw yourself around like you don't matter. I want to know why you feel the need to do it. I want to know why you have to be in control all the time. I want to know what happened to you."

"Nothing happened to me. Why do you keep thinking something happened to me? Why can't you just accept that this is just the way I am?" _Don't do this,_ Kurt warned himself, feeling like his wall was going to erect itself again and stop whatever progress this was.

"Because someone like you doesn't come from someone like your father and transfer schools as much as you have."

Failure. The wall was up and the air went stale. It was like all oxygen was sucked from the room. He stared daggers at Blaine, thinking Blaine crossed a line that was beyond anything Kurt was willing to take. "You've been talking to K." No answer. "Well, I'm glad you found time on your romantic evening to spend time speculating about my personal life. Okay, well, want to know something about my personal life; something that I never told you before? My mother died and my father told me that you only get one; you only get one great person and love of your life. All the rest are just space fillers. And you… You were an excellent space filler. Such a good boy and a great fuck."

Blaine's hands clenched. He wanted to slap Kurt in the face because that's how he felt. He was more than that; more than just a fuck.

Kurt clenched his jaw and while he looked angry, he was more angry at himself for saying that than at Blaine for what he said. What Blaine said came from a place of caring. Kurt did what he has always done best: ruin everything. It was a knee jerk reaction to say something like that because he knew it would be the fastest way to end the conversation and have the upper hand. He grabbed his shower caddy and ran off to clean up.

When he came back, however, he was greeted with a sinking, but not at all unpleasant surprise. Blaine was sitting on the bench near their lockers, waiting. He was dressed and the locker room was empty. "What are you still doing here?"

"I'm skipping fencing practice because I wanted to tell you I'm sorry."

Kurt's eyebrows raised in shock. "_You're_ apologizing to _me_?"

"I shouldn't have brought up your dad. I know how much he means to you and it was wrong to use him against you. So, I'm sorry."

Holding onto his towel, tightly wrapped around his waist, Kurt put down his caddy and sat down on the bench next to Blaine. "I'm sorry for saying that you were a space filler. You weren't."

"No. I was. A space filler, I mean. Maybe a little more because I know I wasn't just a warm body to sleep with, but I was a space filler. It was something always tugging at the back of my mind, so thank you for saying it." The conversation was somber in nature, but surprisingly calm. It was nice to just talk like this, even if the topic wasn't the most ideal.

"You weren't. You were- are more than that. I'm an idiot. I don't deserve your attention. You already know this, but I'm really selfish. You were right when you said that I hit you with the arrow on purpose. I just wanted your attention…" he trailed off. The wall was down and his missed this so much. "I miss you."

Blaine's head jerked and his whole body tensed up and formed an alert posture. He wasn't sure he heard it right, but he thought he heard Kurt say that he missed him. A second later, the light that was in his eyes went away when he remembered that he was supposed to be angry at him. Kurt hurt him badly. He doesn't get to be forgiven this quickly, though those three little words packed more emotion than Blaine ever expected to hear from Kurt. It's what he always wanted. But now it was too late, wasn't it? He didn't answer Kurt. Instead he looked back down at the floor and relaxed his pose.

"…I get with a lot of guys because they make me feel wanted."

Blaine crinkled his eyes in disbelief and looked at Kurt again. He was full of unexpected surprises today. Knowing that Blaine had to continue with the conversation, he thought about what was just said and he response was instant. "Didn't I? I know I said it enough. I always wanted you. I wanted your affection, your attention, your body, your time, everything. I wanted anything and everything that had to do with you. Did you not hear me, or believe me?"

"I believed you, but you can go away. You already did. I lost you. There is one of you and there's an endless supply of them that will never stop wanting me. I'm not saying that what I did was right; I know it wasn't; but if there's one thing I can make you believe, it's that I never wanted to hurt you the way I did." When they first met, he admit to himself that he did want to hurt Blaine, but that was only because he was jealous. He wanted what he had. He wanted his life. It was the only thing he saw that he couldn't perceivably have.

"What are you expecting from telling me all this?"

"Nothing. I expect nothing. I want things, but I think I'm giving up and that's why I'm telling you."

"Giving up what?"

"Trying to get you back. I thought that if I could get you to talk to me long enough, I might be able to convince you to forgive me. But I know it's no use. Even if I tricked you into going back to the way we were, I can't give you what you wanted. I'm too wrong for you. There was a spark between us, but I'm starting to think that maybe it was only ignited when there was tension between us. We don't have that anymore. Now there's nothing. Now you just hate me and I can't say that I blame you."

"You are an enigma. Just when I think I know what to expect, you do something like this."

"I told you I'm messed up."

"No. That's not it."

Kurt heard Blaine gulp. He turned to look at Blaine and maybe catch a glimpse of his face before he makes him hate him again. Then he saw it. Blaine's hand lifted and wiped away a single lonely tear.

"You know, I actually thought at one point that we could make it through all the bullshit we put each other through."

"I'm sorry I demolished everything. I know you won't believe me, but I regret that the most."

"That isn't want made me change my mind about it."

"Then what happened?" he watched Blaine wipe another tear away.

"I wanted to hear it first from you."

Now it was Kurt's turn to gulp and swallow hard. "I wish I could have told you."

"What happened to you?"

"I never wanted to have feelings for you. Even when I was telling myself that I might be able to, I knew I didn't want it."

"Am I so unlovable?"

"No. That's not what I meant. In the past… I mean, I'm guarded because… It's not so simple to say in one sentence or two. It was never you. What I said before about my dad telling me how you only get one great love was true. And so far, love hasn't done any good for me."

Blaine stood up first then Kurt followed, still completely naked except for a towel around his waist. They faced each other, pain and exhaustion in both of their expressions. "So, where do we go from here?"

"I don't know." For a second only, Kurt's eyes flicked to Blaine's lips. He missed everything about them.

"If it makes it any easier, I'm graduating early. I'll be out of here in three weeks. So, after then, we won't have to worry about each other. We'll just have to not kill one another between now and then." His attempt at humor wasn't working. Neither one of them found it funny.

Kurt looked heartbroken. He hadn't known Blaine was graduating early. It was something that never came up. _Maybe if I paid more attention to him and not his body, I would know this,_ he thought. Now how was he supposed to see him everyday? Not even thinking anymore, Kurt did the dumbest move he could have ever done. He kissed Blaine. He leaned forward, both hands holding Blaine's face, and kissed his former lover with everything he had. Except it wasn't enough.

Blaine released Kurt's hands and backed away, breaking off the kiss after realization set in that this was not what he was supposed to be doing. He was mad at Kurt. He hated him. Sure, Kurt missed him and he fooled around with lots of guys to feel wanted, but that didn't explain anything. It didn't solve anything. Kurt's attempt at vulnerability made Blaine vulnerable because he felt sorry for him. He wanted to erase all this. It wasn't fair for Kurt to kiss Blaine because Blaine hated him, but he loved him too. "Why did you do that?"

"I thought that-"

"You thought wrong," Blaine interrupted. "I didn't ask you to kiss me. I didn't want that."

"Blaine-"

"No. You shouldn't have done that. For a second I thought maybe- This doesn't solve anything. We still have all our problems with no explanations. I'm still left with all my questions of why and you still don't know what you want. I-I-I-" Blaine's breath was heavy and fast.

"Please, calm down." Kurt stepped forward to hold Blaine's hands, but Blaine stepped back away to counter.

"I can't calm down! Don't you get it? I don't know what's happening to me because I want you so badly, but I hate you. I hate you! You betrayed me and lied to me and I hate you. You can't fix this with a kiss." He lifted his hand and ever so gently touched his fingertips to his lips, looking scared and more upset than Kurt had ever seen him. Then his feet were moving and he was out of the locker room, leaving Kurt behind.

Kurt made no more attempts that week to talk to Blaine. Days passed in a blur that Kurt was barely paying attention to. He was miserable. The only people who would talk to him were people from Glee and even then, it was sparingly, except for Joe. Joe was always there with a kind word.

By Friday, Kurt found himself sitting at the bar in Scandals, something he never did. He had told himself last week that he'd stop going to places like this to pick people up, but that was because he wanted to give it all up for Blaine. Now that Blaine made it clear that there would be no Kurt and Blaine, Kurt began going again. But this week found him not bothering with people. He sat at the bar and tried dancing here and there, but nothing held its usual appeal. He was empty. Well, actually Kurt was full of sadness and alcohol every night, but that was beside the point.

"Finished already?" Karofsky muttered, taking a dig at his friend. He was still mad at him. "No one else catch your eye?"

Kurt finished his drink and lazily looked over at his muscle bulked friend, who hadn't spoken to him in days. The way his head lolled and barely wore an expression of any kind, Dave could see that Kurt was drunk and probably on his way to falling off the bar stool he sat on.

"When does it stop hurting?" Kurt slurred to the bartender, putting his hand on top of his when he tried to take the empty glass from him.

The bartender looked at Dave awkwardly, not knowing what to say and Dave waved him away to say "Don't answer that." He brought Dave a beer without him needed to be asked and walked over to another customer.

"Nothing is the same."

"Then welcome change. Come on, Kurt. It's just a guy. Get over it."

The drunk teen scowled at his friend. Blaine was not just a guy. He was Blaine. "You first," he spat out, knowing in his alcohol addled brain that Karofsky still hated that Blaine would rather be with the one who treated him badly than him and he resented Kurt for that. When Dave didn't respond Kurt entwined his fingers and leaned over a little, adjusting his position on the stool. "I kissed him on Monday."

This got the football player's attention. "What did he do?"

"He kissed me back."

"No he didn't."

"Don't believe me? Ask him." This was half a lie. Blaine did kiss Kurt, but it was out of instinct. The second he realized what was happening, Blaine backed off.

Then Dave understood why Kurt was here. "You tried to apologize and he turned you down, didn't he? You finally smartened up to what was going on?"

"Happy?"

"No." He couldn't believe he was hearing this from his friend. Did he really think Dave would get pleasure from Kurt's pain? "I don't get pleasure from seeing you lose, Kurt. I liked when you two were together."

"We weren't together."

"Both of you keep saying that."

"Because it's true. We hung out, fucked, my dad made him come to D.C. with us, there wasn't any labels and no discussion of being together once I started taking him on dates. Although I only took him on two, so technically we weren't really _dating_ either." He tried to hail the bartender to get another drink, but it was obvious that the bartender was cutting him off.

"So, what are you going to do?"

"Right now? Getting drunk is working wonders for me."

"No it isn't. Do you want to hang out tomorrow night? Alcohol free?"

"Can't. The Warblers from my old school are having a party and a couple of them invited me."

"Want me to come with you?"

"No, I'm good."

"Do you want a ride home?"

"I'll take a cab. I took one here anyway."

"No. You're cut off. I'll drive you home." Karofsky abandoned his drink that he only took three sips from and helped Kurt stumble out of the bar and into the car.

When they got to the Hummel residence, Karofsky shot a text to his parents saying that he was spending the night at Kurt's. Dave might have been made at his friend, but he wasn't going to abandon him. Kurt was almost passed out by the time Dave got him to his room, but Dave could tell just how far gone Kurt's mental state was when Kurt tried to kiss and paw at him. "Stop that," he said. "You're not going to throw yourself at me because you miss Blaine."

"Shhh," Kurt slurred. "Don't say his name."

"Why did you do that to him?" he asked, pushing Kurt over onto his days and pulled his shoes off.

Kurt was busy trying and failing to unbotton his vest because his vision was blurred and his fingers weren't cooperating properly. "Love hurts. Physically and… that other one." He gave up on his vest and tried to pull it over his head. His arms got stuck

"Emotionally?" he asked, thinking that Kurt's first answer was strange. His hands reached up to help Kurt out of his vest. "Why does it hurt physically?"

"Nobody cares."

That didn't make sense. "Can you explain it to me?" Kurt grabbed Karofsky's hands, barely looking awake and alert.

"If you love me, you'll do this for me."

"Do what? What do you want me to do?"

Kurt collapsed his back onto his bed. Karofsky swung Kurt's legs up onto the mattress and rolled him onto his side. His blue eyes were now shut and his mumbling could barely be made out. The only thing he was able to understand before Kurt became more clear was "So weak."

"Why me? I'd give anything for them to have left me alone."

_Them?_ Dave thought, pulling a blanket over Kurt's shoulders. "Me too, buddy. I wish they would have left you alone too."

Seconds later, Kurt was breathing deeply and was fast asleep.

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**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**TUmblr: grace-ryan**

** confused about Kurt yet? :P I know it seemed odd that Blaine so readily spoke to Kurt in the beginning, but has Blaine really ever refused to speak to Kurt? He very rarely says no and sticks to it.**

**xoxo Grace**


	24. Chapter 24

**Okay, get ready for this one… Remember in last chapter's A/N when I said Kurt is going to act all over the place? Let's just say that Blaine has no idea what's happening to himself because of Kurt's actions… Yeah, Blaine isn't the same old Blaine anymore… Can he ever get back to the sweet, awkward nerd he was in the beginning of the story?**

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**Chapter 24**

The smell of dark roast coffee was wafting into Kurt's nostrils. His first instinct was to groan and stretch because dark roasted coffee meant breakfast and morning. His head pounded and when his contorted body finished stretching, the full effect of the scent caught up to his stomach. He couldn't move fast enough. In a second, Kurt was hanging over the side of his bed, where a trash bucket magically found its way to his face before he made a mess on his rug.

When the liquid finally freed itself from Kurt's belly, bile made a presence. Then he dry heaved for another couple minutes. A warm cloth was put on the back of his neck while large hands soothed his back, which was still clothed with half of the outfit he wore out last night. He stomach was empty and sore, like he had just been doing crunches for hours. Kurt slipped the cloth off his neck and wiped his face and mouth with it before rolling over and putting his head in the lap of his caretaker. He had a hunch it was Dave, but he wasn't sure. He vaguely remembered seeing him last night. Most of everything was blurry anyway, but since Burt was home this weekend, there was only one other person Kurt knew with hands like those. Another warm cloth dabbed at his forehead.

"Do I have anything to apologize for?" Kurt asked.

"No. You were fine. Didn't fight me or anything, which is a shock, come to think of it."

The sick teen was unable to laugh, though he wanted to. "I thought you hated me too."

"Hate? No. Annoyed. Yes. Able to get over it? Of course."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome." He dabbed at Kurt's face one more time before stopping and gently patting his friend's shoulder. "Come on. You need a shower and some coffee… and if you can keep food down, that too."

"Why do I need to get up?"

"Because I need to go do something and you're coming with me."

"Why?" Kurt groaned, rolling back onto the mattress and shoving his face into the comforter.

"Because you need to do something other than wallow and drink."

"Where are we going?"

"There's a fencing match at McKinley today."

Kurt's head popped up off the fabric abruptly, making his head swim and pound harder. "Why are we doing that? Blaine's going to be there."

"Blaine's the one who asked me to go. You should come with me and support him. You need to do something to show him you care. Being his cheerleader might make him warm up a little."

"People will see you with me. I'm McKinley's social outcast remember? I might as well have leprosy."

"And I told you weeks ago that I didn't care. See, unlike you, I can bulldoze any of those guys to the ground. Believe me; no one wants to piss me off because I just might forget to block one of them."

"Touché."

"So, you're coming?"

"I'll make you a deal, start the shower for me and find me some aspirin and I'll go."

"Liar," Dave laughed. "You were going to go anyway; you just want me to do those things for you."

A cracked smile appeared on Kurt's face. "Can't blame a guy for trying."

"You start the shower; where can I find aspirin?"

"Upstairs bathroom. There should be a bottle in the mirror cabinet."

It took two hours for Kurt to get ready and they barely made the beginning of the tournament. Kurt threw up some more, stayed in the shower until the water turned cold, then took forever to pick out an outfit, and then settled on a pair of normal jeans and a hoodie. It wasn't a glamorous look and it wasn't meant to be. Kurt just wanted to blend in and not attract attention. He also put on a pair of dark sunglasses because the light was hurting his head.

Karofsky had looked for Blaine's parents to sit with them, but Kurt found them first and saw that Eli was sitting with them. He pleaded with his friend for them to sit somewhere else because he couldn't stand the red-head. Karofsky relented and the sat out of the eye line of the Blaine Anderson cheering section.

Kurt noticed a lot of guys from Dalton. When Dave started asking about their uniform, Kurt pulled his hood up over his head to hide himself more and started to make himself small. Nicky Anderson, Blaine's cousin was one of the Dalton fencers and he made it to the top six challenges before he lost. Hunter Carrington, another Dalton member, made it all the way to the finals, where he faced Blaine, who had won every match, it seemed, with little effort. Behind his sunglasses, Kurt began to scowl and feel very uncomfortable, like he could unzip his skin and crawl out of it. It was like a train wreck; he wanted to look away, but couldn't. He had to stare at Hunter and he hated himself for it. Hunter had rage issues, like Kurt, but much worse. He recently found out from Trent, that Hunter was the one who turned Mr. Malloy into the police when he walked in on the ex-teacher with another student, though Hunter never said who. The thought made Kurt's stomach turn worse than it had this morning and he forced down a swallow to keep his water and breakfast in his stomach.

It was an aggressive match, but Blaine won by a hair. When people started to remove themselves from the bleachers, Karofsky forced Kurt down to the floor to congratulate Blaine and let him know that he was there. That's when it happened. It was like slow motion with tunnel vision. Hunter was exactly half the distance between Kurt and Blaine and Blaine's back was to the both of them as he spoke to his family, Eli, and his cousin.

Hunter's face was a beet red and he was fuming angry. He drew his sword and with one step towards Blaine, Kurt bolted. He jumped onto Hunter's back, trying to wrestle him to the ground or knock the sword out of his hand. "Blaine!" He screamed in warning.

Blaine spun around, helmet under one arm and sword in a sheath at his side. Hunter was struggling to get Kurt off of him, but Kurt's lanky extremities made him like a monkey who was able to hang on. Blaine rushed over, grabbed the sword in Hunter's hand, tossed it to Nicky, and with the help of Karofsky, was able to peel the two boys apart. Kurt clung to Blaine, holding him close while Karofsky restrained Hunter until he calmed down.

"He-He was trying to stab you in the back," Kurt stammered.

Hunter grunted, teeth clenched, and backed off with out saying anything. What was first anger for Blaine, switched to anger for Kurt when he saw who jumped him. "I did you a favor," was all he said before retreating, giving up on his original intention. Blaine's family started to converge on Blaine, who looked up at Kurt, astonished for many reasons. He had no idea he was even there, or knew about Blaine having a tournament. Then, it stuck out in his head that Kurt saved him from being hurt badly by Hunter. He swallowed audibly, looking into Kurt's eyes, who were just as equally shocked by his actions. Kurt was by no means, a fighter.

"Congratulations," Kurt managed to get out, speaking of the tournament that Blaine won.

"Thank you." For one moment, there was no one else in the room and everything was silent. They could hear each other breathing, feel each other's warmth.

Then the moment was gone when hands pulled him out of Kurt's grasp. "Oh my God! Blaine!" Eli had rushed up to Blaine with everyone else. He spun Blaine around and clutched himself to his friend, hugging him like he couldn't believe he was allowed to do this. "Are you all right? He almost stabbed you!"

Blaine squeezed himself out of Eli's arms, feeling very uncomfortable with Kurt right there and his family as well. "Actually, the swords aren't sharp enough to stab someone to death without a lot of force. The most Hunter could have done was slash some visible skin. It would have hurt, but it would be the same as if I gave myself a bad cut shaving, or something."

"Sweetheart, I'm glad you're okay and congratulations on your win. You were spectacular. Your father and I will be right back. We're going to have a little chat with the Dalton Academy coach." They left and when Blaine looked around, Kurt was gone and he was now alone with Eli and Nicky.

They went into the locker room all together, which Eli loved because he felt that he had free range to _nonchalantly_ glance around the room. Nicky invited them to a party the Warblers were having and assured Blaine that Hunter would NOT be there. It was Warbler and their guests only. Even if Hunter were to be considered a _guest_, he would be terminated for all extra curricular activities until further notice because of the stunt he just pulled. It would be a Hunter free zone. Eli accepted on behalf of both of them. Blaine didn't feel much like partying, especially right now, because he couldn't get the thought of Kurt doing that for him and the look in his eyes when he held him.

"Who was that big guy with Kurt?" Nicky asked.

Blaine thought. He didn't have to think hard because there was only one big guy who talks to Kurt. "Dave Karofsky," he answered. "He's a friend of mine; nice guy."

"Oh, I didn't even notice he was there," Eli chimed in. "So, this party… Is it formal or casual?"

"Casual. Wear whatever," Nicky answered, acting a little uncaring because he felt Eli was interrupting, then turning back to Blaine. In truth, Eli was trying to change the subject because he didn't want the conversation to turn into one about Kurt. Elated was an understatement when it came to Blaine telling Eli that things with Karofsky weren't going to progress any further than friendship because Eli thought that now he had his chance. Blaine, on the other hand, could only think of Kurt and how he _saved _him from being attacked and how he told him in the beginning of the week that he missed him and cared about him. Everything about Kurt was messing with his head and he was starting to get over the fact that he was hurting whenever he saw him.

"Dude, I know your back was turned and all," Nicky continued, "but what Kurt did was badass and I mean _bad-ass_." He separated the words with emphasis. "Like, he _totally_ threw himself onto Hunter like a flying squirrel and leached on. I mean, you could definitely take him because you're all kinds of awesome at fighting, but, looking at Kurt, if he didn't stay on Hunter like that, Kurt would have some serious damage done to him. Hunter's on his way out of Dalton already. He's on his second strike. This will probably be his third and he'll be expelled. Kurt, man… He's one badass dude."

The way Nicky gushed about Kurt made Blaine laugh because Nicky always talked about guys and how awesome they were for doing specific things that made him admire them for a period of time. Blaine guessed it was Kurt's turn. Although, he had to admit, he was thankful Kurt was there.

As the day progressed, Blaine had accepted the invitation to the party, but was seriously considering telling Eli that he didn't want to go because the Warblers were the enemy of the New Directions, but really it was because Eli was started to bug him. Eli seemed a little too interested in Blaine personal business these days and they no longer had the easy comfortable conversations they used to. Now it was all about Eli dominating the conversations with Q and A's about Blaine this and Blaine that. The olive skinned teen didn't want to talk about himself all the time. Most of the time, when he and Eli watched the movie, Blaine didn't even get to watch it because Eli would start talking or sitting too close for someone who was just a friend.

Blaine tried to make excuses, saying that Eli didn't really have many friends and he tried to ignore it because if Blaine didn't say anything, maybe Eli might feel Blaine's uncomfortability and move or stop talking for the time being. It wasn't that Blaine wanted to stop being Eli's friend, he really did enjoy him as a person, but he just wanted more of a bromance than a romance with Eli. Even Karofsky, who openly admitted to having feelings and attractions to Blaine didn't make him uncomfortable.

But seven o'clock came and Blaine was driving him and Eli the hour drive to Westerville. At least, the music was keeping Eli semi quiet. They sang together to all the songs and the only things that Eli really said were "I like this song" and "I've never been to a party before. Thanks for taking me."

Even though the Warblers were supposed to be the enemy, they were perfect hosts and each one greeted Blaine and Eli, saying how glad they were that they could make it.

"Guess I'm not the only McKinley-ite here," chimed a familiar high registered voice.

_Of course _he_ has to be here,_ Eli thought, wondering when he was ever going to catch a break.

Blaine's heartbeat fluttered out of habit. Then he got incredibly anxious, also out of habit. "Save me a dance later?" Kurt flirted and winked at Blaine. He was purposefully trying to annoy both Blaine and Eli, but mostly Eli because he didn't like him in the slightest. It worked on both counts.

"What are you doing here?" Eli asked. By now it was a main staple for Eli to ask Kurt that because Kurt often was in the same places as Blaine. Whether it was coincidence or planned, he wasn't sure. Either way, it annoyed him greatly because whenever Kurt was around, it seemed to both bother and distract Blaine to some level.

Kurt raised his eyebrows looking like he was about to come correct at a "biggest Bitch" competition. "Didn't Blaine tell you? I used to go here. These are my friends. What are you doing here?"

"Blaine invited me."

"Nicky invited us both after you left the tournament."

"What a good cousin."

"Kurt, please don't. Whatever you're trying to do- just- please not tonight."

Kurt smiled playfully and put his hand to his chest. "_Me_? Would I do anything in poor taste?"

"Yes," Eli answered.

"Eli," Blaine warned. He shot him a look to go with his tone and Eli immediately backed off.

"So obedient. Blaine, you've trained him well."

"Kurt! I asked you nicely. I don't know what you two have against each other. I don't care. Just stop putting me in the middle." He stomped off to nowhere in particular. Eli waited a beat, staring Kurt down, thinking he had the upper hand, having no idea what he was dealing with, and then following Blaine to where ever.

Blaine and Eli spent a lot of time on the dance floor and after a conversation and more dancing, Blaine was actually having a really good time despite his confused feelings about the interaction with Kurt over the past week and today. For the most part, he was even able to forget about it and lose himself on the dance floor with Eli. They showed off their own moves to each other, which frequently elicited laughs and lots of smiles. To Eli's dismay, however, Blaine made no motion to dance really close together and grind like the other couples. It was more about fun than an interaction. In fact, the only time they touched was when their hands held momentarily to spin one another.

"Water!" Eli yelled over the music and making a motion to signify 'drink.' Blaine nodded. Eli led Blaine over to a barrel of bottled water filled with ice. He grabbed two bottles and handed one to Blaine. They both twisted their caps off and took large sips of their water. "Having fun?" Eli asked.

"Yeah! I'm glad you came with me." He meant that in more than one way because he didn't want to have gone solo and not have had anyone to help distract him from Kurt, but he also had fun with Eli and liked hanging out with him.

"Me too. I really like spending time with you." His comment meant more than how he made it sound. Since Blaine had brought Eli to the party, Eli had been gearing himself up to telling Blaine how he felt and how he was hoping that they could become officially a couple. Some part of him felt like now would be a good time. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Kurt somehow appeared from behind Blaine and grabbed his ass, ruining Eli's moment.

"Hey ladies!" Kurt exclaimed with a smile, putting the hand that just grabbed Blaine's ass around his shoulders.

Blaine rolled his eyes, not happy to see Kurt because Kurt and Eli together weren't good company, but he made no motion to remove the arm and hand draped over his shoulder. "I thought you left," Eli said. "I haven't seen you in a while."

Kurt chuckled and cheshired. "Nope. I've been around." He turned his head to look at a boy on the dance floor, who kind of looked a little disheveled, and he winked at him. The boy looked away from Kurt nervously. "I love closeted bi-curious boys, don't you, Blaine?"

A sigh came from Blaine in response. He knew Kurt was doing this on purpose, shoving his conquests in his face. He wasn't surprised that Kurt continued to do this, especially after rejecting him last week. "Can't say that I've have the opportunity, but then again, I don't enjoy toying with people." There was a bite to his tone that didn't go unnoticed by both Kurt and Eli.

"So, Eli? See anything you like? Let me know and I'll tell you which ones are freaks in the sack."

"Thanks, but I think I'll stick with Blaine. He's the hottest guy in here anyway." He smiled at Blaine and flushed a light pink in the corners of his cheeks.

"That he is," Kurt agreed. "But I should tell you that-"

Blaine simultaneously put his bottle down, and grabbed Eli's bottle out of his hand while he interrupted Kurt. "Eli, I wanna dance some more." He took hold of Eli's hand and towed him off to the dance floor while Kurt stood at the drink table, still smiling like the asshole he was trying to be.

"What was that all about?" Eli asked when they got back to the floor.

"Kurt was just going to be annoying. Nothing new."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why are you two friends? You both seem like you're fighting all the time."

"We are fighting all the time." _Except when he is sleeping with other people and telling me he loves me when he's drunk._ He thought, feeling less sad about it than he had over time since he found out.

"Don't friends get along?"

"You're right. Maybe Kurt and I aren't friends then."

"You don't seem too upset about that."

"I'm not. Most of the time, he's just trying to be a jerk. His sense of humor isn't on the same level as everyone else's. Especially mine."

"What's he like the rest of the time?"

Blaine wasn't ready to have this conversation with Eli. He wanted to keep his hook ups with Kurt a secret, especially to Eli, whom he knew would judge him. "I don't want to talk about him." He took Eli's hand again and spun him around, making him giggle.

Three songs later, Blaine's eyes flickered over Eli's shoulder and saw Kurt grinding against a Warbler like they were having sex with their clothes on. Feeling like he was being watching, Kurt lifted his eyes and, as if his eyes were magnets to Blaine's honey eyes, he saw him watching. Blaine clenched his teeth momentarily and stepped closer to Eli.

Eli took this as an invitation to step closer as well and put his hand on Blaine's hip, letting him know that he wanted to stay that close. Blaine was preoccupied, so he hardly noticed or cared, but continued to dance and watch Kurt, who smirked sinfully and pressed his ass even harder to the boy behind him. He dropped himself and sexily rose back up before draping an arm behind the boy he was using as a pole.

Not wanting to be shown up and being annoyed that Kurt actually thought this was an amusing game, Blaine grabbed Eli and pulled him as close as he could and wrapped his arms around his neck, caressing Eli's curls, and rolling his body. Eli, who had always wanted to dance with Blaine like this, but never danced this close to anyone, tried his best to keep up, but was only getting sexually frustrated entirely too quickly and didn't know what was coming over Blaine.

Kurt turned around and spun the boy he danced on so that Kurt could look over the boy's shoulder at Blaine. There was no denying Kurt's ability to dance. He was good at it and knew exactly which body parts to move and when to make him look deliciously sexy. He smirked even still before eyeing Blaine, all the while brushing his lips against the boy's neck the way he knew Blaine loved. It was a low blow because Kurt just wanted to make Blaine jealous and turned on, just as he assumed Blaine was trying to do. So far, Blaine was just making Kurt laugh on the inside because he could see how exponentially annoyed Blaine was getting. It was very entertaining. That all changed when Blaine had enough of this game and pulled his head back, palmed Eli's cheek, and planted his lips firmly on Eli's.

The kiss took Eli by surprise, but having wanted this to happen for a long time now, he kissed back. He couldn't tell, but Blaine's honey eyes were open the whole time and focusing on Kurt. Kurt raised his eyebrows in shock. He looked away when he couldn't bear to watch anymore and then discarded his dance partner by walking away.

Blaine broke himself off from the kiss, suddenly feeling how sloppy a kisser Eli was and knowing he just did something incredible stupid. He hugged him, continuing to dance less provocatively, and wiped him mouth so Eli couldn't see. When the song ended, he said he needed some air and Eli followed him out into the hallway and sat with him on a gorgeous staircase.

They sat in silence for a bit. Eli chanced putting his arm around Blaine, but chickened out and ended up resting it on a stair behind Blaine. He clearly got the wrong idea from Blaine's kiss, but that wasn't his fault. He didn't know any better and really had no idea of the game Kurt was playing with Blaine behind his back.

"Blaine, there's something I've been meaning to tell you- well, ask you, sort of. That is- I mean-" He was stuttering and stammering, a nervous mess.

"Wow, you look like you're freaking out. Why don't you sit down and breathe?"

"Um- okay." They sat down. "It's just, well. I'm really nervous because I've never done this before."

"Done what before?"

"Blaine, I'm really glad that you asked me to come with you tonight."

"Me too."

"Yeah?"

"We're friends. I like hanging out with you."

The sentiment made Eli start to question the possibility of Blaine returning his feelings, but he wasn't sure if Blaine was just saving face and trying to make things weird because they were friends, or if he really didn't have feelings for Eli the way Eli did for him. He knew that the only way to find out would be to ask and confess his own. "So, that kiss was interesting."

Blaine coughed and averted his eyes. _Stupid. That was a stupid thing to do._ "Yeah. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry if it made things weird. I don't want things to get weird between us. I like being your friend." Immediately he knew how stupid, selfish, and heartless that sounded.

"No! It wasn't weird. It was… Well, I've never been kissed by a boy before."

Blaine's eyes went wide. "That was your first kiss?" Now he felt like he was a monster for making that Eli's first romantic experience because it wasn't even romantic or special.

"Y-yeah." Eli sounded a little self-conscious now. "Have you kissed many guys?"

"No. Just two. I don't know, maybe I just thought that I was the last person to have a first kiss or something. Sorry, I meant for that to come out differently."

"It's fine. I don't mind. So, you'd understand if I said that I wouldn't mind if it happened again?"

Blaine inhaled and held his breath for a couple seconds. He hadn't seen this coming. Although he was sure that if he spent two minutes not thinking about Kurt, he probably would have. Everything that Blaine had thought was annoying or too much, was Eli trying to test Blaine's affections. Eli had been trying to tell Blaine for a while now that he wanted more than sitting and talking. Blaine started to think about how much of an idiot he was for leading Eli on, when that wasn't his intention at all. If there was any time for Kurt to do one of his annoying moment interrupting times, it was now. Coincidentally, he got his wish.

"Blaine!" Kurt yelled from down the hall, making both boys turn their heads.

"Can you really not leave me alone?" was Blaine's knee jerk response even though he wished for the interruption.

"Fine!" Kurt said, like it didn't matter, and started to turn to walk away.

"Wait! What do you want?"

Kurt turned back with a sly grin and put his hands up in a defensive pose. "I just wanted to talk."

"Can it wait?" Eli said, making his presence known. Not for the first time when it came to Kurt, he was very impatient.

Kurt just looked from Eli to Blaine and rested his eyes on Blaine, knowing that Blaine would come. He always did.

Blaine saw Kurt's 'come on, let's go' expression and the only part of him that wanted to stay here and listen to Eli confess his feelings was the fact that he didn't want to hurt Eli. But it was Kurt; he wanted to talk. As annoyed and mad as he was at Kurt, he couldn't say no to him. So, he gritted his teeth and turned to Eli. "I'm sorry. I'll be right back.

"But-" Eli could see the anxiety on Blaine's face. As Blaine looked back at Eli, Eli gave up on the moment. "Alright. Hurry back?" He smiled meekly, hoping Blaine would want to hurry back while simultaneously thinking that for someone like Blaine to like him would be a stretch because Blaine was utterly gorgeous and Eli was excruciatingly ordinary.

"Okay. Thanks. Sorry." Blaine was about to kiss Eli on the cheek, but thought better of it. He would be sending the wrong signal by doing that. "Be right back." He got up swiftly and met up with Kurt halfway to where Kurt was standing.

"Come with me. I'd like a little privacy."

Blaine rolled his eyes. "Fine," he sighed and followed Kurt down the hallway and into what looked like an empty teacher's office. "Can we even be in here?"

"It's Mr. Malloy's old office. He never locked it. Shut the door, please."

Blaine furrowed his eyes and brows. "How you do know?"

Kurt raised an eyebrow playfully. "Wouldn't you like to know?" He dropped the act for a second. "Everyone at Dalton knows that the door never locks. No one wants to take the old pedophile's office, so it's empty. Kids come in here and hook up.

"Well, whatever," he turned. "What is it you wanted to talk about?" The door clicked shut and when he turned back, he instantly felt the cold door on his back and hands holding his face. Kurt had pushed him against the door and was now ravaging his lips. For a moment, Blaine was lost in what was happening because he was finally feeling those lips against his again. The thing he wanted the most was also the thing he wanted the least: Kurt. He knew Kurt wouldn't give him the relationship he wanted, or the honesty for that matter, but he simply couldn't deny himself a little pleasure like this anymore, not after feeling Kurt's lips on his last Monday. He missed them. He craved them. Wasn't that the point of kissing Eli after all? To make Kurt jealous and want to kiss him? So, he kissed him back and grabbed onto Kurt's arms, pulling him closer. He rolled his tongue against Kurt's and a moan escaped his throat. In that moment he realized how stupid he was being and how much like Kurt what he was doing made him and he shot himself back to reality. He pushed Kurt off of him and wiped his mouth haphazardly. "What are you doing?!"

Kurt stumbled, obviously intoxicated by both alcohol and lust, and smiled that sly grin Blaine could never say no to. The one that made the shape of Kurt's eyes change because of how he narrowed them. "Kissing you." He moved into kiss Blaine again, but Blaine pushed him back once more.

"You said you wanted to talk!"

"I lied." The inflection in his voice was playful and mocking.

It only annoyed Blaine further to the point where we was throwing his hands up as he spoke. "You can't just kiss me whenever you want!"

"Why not?" A plastic pout formed on Kurt's lips.

"Because we're not together!" Blaine was in complete shock. He didn't know which situation he'd rather be in at the moment, uncomfortably telling Eli he didn't feel the same way, or trying to resist wanting to kiss Kurt back.

"So? I kiss boys all the time and I'm not with any of them."

"That's my point. I'm not like you. I don't kiss people for the hell of it."

"Yes you do. You did it earlier. I know you only kissed Eli because you wanted to make me jealous." Silence. Blaine had no response. "And your goal was achieved. I'm jealous." He advanced on Blaine, pressing himself close and keeping his lips just a whispers length away.

"That doesn't mean you can have me whenever you couldn't find someone better." Kurt slinked his hand around Blaine's middle and down to hold onto his ass, which made him flinch in excitement. His body was betraying his game to resist Kurt at all costs and his mind wasn't far behind.

"You have it wrong again. I take them because I can't have what's better."

"You're not making any sense."

Kurt started nuzzling his nose and lips around Blaine's neck, ear, and hair. "That's because you still see yourself as a second choice," he purred.

The gulp that Blaine took was loud. This felt so good. He was mad, but Kurt always had a way to make him forget about that. He had a knack for it. "You can't say things like that to me and act this way; like a jerk. It's confusing and not fair. We'd have a shot at being friends if you stopped giving me mixed signals."

"Would you rather be sitting with Eli and listening to him confess his undying love to you?" His other hand ran down Blaine's arm and when he got to his hand, Kurt raised it to let it rest over Kurt's shoulder.

"How did you know about that?" Kurt just smiled and leaned back in, dragging his lips very so slowly up his jaw to his ear. Blaine's breath came out hot and slow. Behind the alcohol smell, Kurt smelled and looked unbelievably sexy. He missed this smell. "Sometimes I think I hate you," Blaine said lowly and slow. Kurt found the tone very sexy.

"And other times?" he whispered in his ear.

Blaine gulped and lost all his will power. He let out a loud breath, not even knowing he was holding so much air in. "Fuck, just kiss me already."

Their lips found one another's instantly and it was like their first kiss all over again. Heat, wanting, needing. They clutched onto each other like if they let go, one of them might disappear. The ebb and flow of their tongues was familiar yet still as exciting as if this kiss were their first. That was the beautiful thing about their physical intimacies. Nothing ever got old no matter how many times they did something. Kurt moved his mouth down to Blaine's neck, sucking and nipping a red mark there as Blaine grabbed Kurt's ass and pulled his hips and groin flush against his own. The tall teen had a great ass, perfectly round and toned; in the heat of the moment, Blaine started massaging his hands into the jean covered muscle, which made Kurt respond by gyrating his hips, wanting friction.

Belt buckles were quickly being undone and fingers were fumbling with buttons, zippers, and waistbands. Both teens' hands were warm as their grasped their partner's cock, their arousals increasing their body temperatures. They jerked and flicked their wrists together in time at a steady pace, the same pace they would be going had they been fucking instead of giving one another hand jobs. Kurt moaned into Blaine's mouth. "I-I have to- I want you in my mouth. Can I?"

Blaine's mouth watered even more and managed to say yes. Instantly, Kurt dropped to his knees and didn't even bother with pulling Blaine's pants down further. He sunk himself down onto Blaine and almost gagged himself trying to take him in whole, something he'd been trying to do since the first time they did this. He wanted every inch of Blaine, who lifted his shirt, wanting to see Kurt's actions and allowing him to drag his nails up and down Blaine's torso, leaving red and white marks in their wake.

Kurt's head bobbed and he sucked long and hard, swirling and rolling his tongue, and hollowing out his cheeks. He twisted his hand at the base, making a cork-screw motion. Blaine knew he couldn't last much longer. It was all so good and Kurt was fucking sexy and too talented at this. Before he knew it was too much, Blaine stopped Kurt's actions, encouraging him to stand up to kiss him. When he did, Blaine lifted Kurt, who wrapped his legs around Blaine's waist, and carried him over to the empty desk, laying him down and crowding over him. They kissed fervently, like they'd never get the chance to again, while their hips taking over their sexual ardor.

"Turn around," Kurt ordered, sounding more like a question.

"Okay. Why?"

"I'm not done sucking your dick."

Blaine grinned and did as he was told. He lay next to Kurt, on his side, both somehow fitting on top of the desk, and wasted no time taking Kurt into his mouth. Kurt did the same, but he had to loop his arm around one of Blaine's legs because Blaine couldn't keep his body stationary enough for Kurt. Blaine's moaning cause a devilishly amazing vibration around Kurt's cock. The shorter boy couldn't last any longer. Kurt was too good at this. His hips stuttered and he came, without warning into Kurt's mouth, shooting his ejaculate down Kurt's throat.

When Kurt felt he was ready, he sat up, holding Blaine's head and guiding him, knowing how much Blaine liked this because he secretly liked it a little forceful. And he was coming hard, holding his lover's head in place as he thrust and road out his orgasm in and out of Blaine's mouth, something else, Blaine secretly enjoyed and only admitted to once after a discussion about porn.

They leaned against each other, their faces only a little sweaty. "God, you're so much better than everyone else," Kurt said breathily as if that was a backhanded complimented.

The curly haired brunette knew what that comment meant. It meant there would be no cuddling or sweet nothings. It was a thing and not it was over. They stood up and began to put themselves back together.

Blaine wasn't sure what he expected from their interaction. He hoped that maybe Kurt would reconsider being with Blaine, but knew that he would just remain annoyed with Kurt because Kurt would never settle on one person. "You know what the solution is then, don't you?"

"Blaine, don't ruin the moment."

It was like a slap in the face. Like they were right back in the moment after their first hook up all over again. It instantly angered Blaine. "How is me wanting us to be together ruining the moment?"

"Didn't you just say you hated me?"

"I do! I fucking hate you because you do shit like this! I'm not a toy, Kurt!"

"Then why did you let me take you off my shelf to play with?"

"Why did you even want me on your shelf to begin with?"

"I don't know, Blaine. I haven't over analyzed it like you have and will continue to do." He got closer and brushed Blaine's face with his hand, an action which Blaine pulled his face away upon contact. "Look, we had a good thing going. We can get back to that if you want. We were happy. You can hate me and not have to apologize for anything and do whatever you want without answering to me. You can even have Eli on the side. Then, when you get over being angry with me we can do this and be happy."

"I'm not happy! And I doubt you are either. For a second, I was ready to forgive you. I was going to be the idiot I always was and forget about it. What is so wrong about wanting me the way I want you?"

"I can't give you what you want."

"No, you can, but you won't. And what makes you think that I still want that? After everything and now this? What are you so scared of?"

"Why do you do this to yourself? I said no, okay? Just take the answer and go away. You want a relationship; find someone who wants one too; have a go with carrot top Mc-Blaine-lover. Look where ever you want for commitment, but it isn't here."

"What is wrong with you?! I don't understand you at all. You act one way and make me think one thing, then sure enough, you change into this person I don't understand. I haven't done anything to you!"

"Yet."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Let's just say, loving me feels like a prison."

"What the fuck, Kurt. For once, will you stop talking in code and tell me the truth? The real truth and not one that ends in an insult? "

"Is there such a thing? "

"God-fucking-Damnit! You're a jerk, you know that?"

"Go ahead. Call me names if it's what helps, but believe me when I say that you can't call me one that I haven't heard already."

"Asshole."

Kurt licked his lips, trying to keep composed when the negative emotions inside him threatened to make themselves known. "How about slut? Wanna call me that? Or whore? I get that one a lot." The truth was that he didn't want to hear those things from Blaine. Not from him. He didn't know if he could handle it if Blaine thought those things about him.

Silence. Blaine didn't know what else to say. He didn't want to think that people called Kurt horrible names like those. Yes, Kurt got with a lot of people, but not once did Blaine ever think to label Kurt a slut or a whore. He was Kurt. The stubborn, annoying, asshole, which had his heart for reasons Blaine couldn't understand. Maybe it was because Kurt was someone Blaine couldn't have and the temptation to conquer the famous saying was too great. Or maybe Blaine saw what no one else did in Kurt. Whatever it was, Blaine knew this wouldn't be their last argument. But, for now, he was still hurt. Without another word, Blaine left Kurt standing in the office.

The office quickly became lonely. He watched Blaine walk out and put his hands in his pockets, his face following suit and looking down at the floor. He hated making Blaine feel that way. It wasn't fun always kicking Blaine to the curb and hurting him, but he knew it was for the best. He was easier to deny him the thing he wanted most than to hurt him in ways he knew he would in a relationship. If there was ever anyone he wanted to give his heart to, it was Blaine. Beautiful Blaine, who constantly let himself take a beating for fleeting moments with Kurt.

Blaine had such tunnel vision that he almost walked right past Eli, who was sitting in wait for Blaine's return. "Blaine!" he called out, perked up like a puppy. "Everything okay? You were-" Eli stopped talking, frozen and taking in Blaine's appearance. His shirt was untucked and unless Eli was mistaken, there was a circular red mark on the left side of his neck. His heart and face sunk rapidly and he sat back down, pointing his eyes to the floor and not knowing that to say or do.

"What's the matter?" Blaine asked, his eyes crinkling. He did care about why Eli looked so sad, but he was still too upset to care as much as he should about Eli's feelings.

"Y-your shirt," Eli pointed out. "It's untucked."

Blaine looked down. "Oh." He started to think that he'd been caught. In fact, he was almost positive. Eli was smart.

"You and I," he started tentatively, forcing himself to look up again. "We're never going to be an _us,_ are we?"

Blaine took a seat next to Eli on the steps. He looked sympathetic, but he had to be honest. He shook his head. "I like you, but just as a friend. I'm sorry if I gave you any idea otherwise. Really I am."

"It's Kurt, isn't it?" He was answered with a head nod from Blaine. "Can I ask why? You two are always fighting and, forgive me, but he's an asshole to you and everyone else."

"I couldn't explain it even if I wanted to. Kurt is just… well; I guess it doesn't matter, does it? He frustrates me and makes me so mad sometimes, but then there are times, when it's just us, and things are so simple and everything else in the world is blocked and-" Blaine stopped himself. It was too hard to explain how he felt about Kurt and when and why. Also, explaining it all to Eli, the boy who just confessed his feelings for Blaine, was probably a bad idea, even though Eli was the one who asked.

"Was there ever a chance that things could have been difference for us?"

The brunette bit his lip, not wanting to have this conversation, but knowing how important it was. "I only ever saw you as a friend." He left out the part where he was never attracted to him.

"You did something with him just now, didn't you?" The meaning of _something_ was obvious to mean that the real question should have been: You did something sexual with Kurt back there, didn't you?

"Yes."

"Was it your first time? With him?"

He gulped. This was the kind of thing that was none of Eli's business, but what else did Blaine have to hide now? At least now he could get it all out. "No."

"For how long?"

"Months."

"Months?!" Eli wanted to cry or hit himself in the face for being so oblivious and stupid. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because we weren't telling anyone. It was just a thing. We weren't together."

"Just… _stuff_?" Eli couldn't bring himself to say blowjobs or sex. He was learning so many new things about the boy that he thought he crushed on. He never pegged Blaine as a casual sex type of person because that's how he saw what Blaine and Kurt did, even though there was feelings involved without a title of boyfriend.

"Yeah. _Stuff_. Emotions too, but mostly stuff." If the stated, yet unsated teen was being honest with himself, he wasn't sure at this moment if what he thought was Kurt's love for him was just a concoction in his head.

"A lot of stuff?"

Blaine's eyes went wide as he looked at his own shoes, thinking about how often Kurt and him fooled around and fucked. He bobbed his head. "_Yes_."

"All those times you defended him- it was because you had feelings for him?"

"Have. I _have_ feelings for him," he corrected him. "I hate him and I-" he paused. "I can't stand him and yet I still want him around. I fight with him, even though I hate that too, but I do it because it gives me moments with him that I wouldn't normally have gotten. It's funny; I can't even remember what we fought about most of the time. Stupid, huh?" He asked rhetorically. Yes, he's an asshole, but he's also beautiful in his own way."

"But he doesn't seem to return the sentiment."

"It seems that way."

"Then why not try to be with someone who can?"

"Because they're not him."

"Do you love him?"

Tears welled in Blaine's eyes, but they didn't fall. He looked away again, feeling ashamed in many ways, and nodded his head once more. He hadn't said it out loud and didn't think he'd ever get to. "I'm sorry," he said.

"Me too."

"Are things going to be weird now for us?"

"Maybe." he paused. "But I'd really like to work through that, if you do too. I mean, you're my best friend. I don't want to lose my best friend because he doesn't want to cuddle with me."

Blaine didn't know what else to say. He was glad that now his friendship could possibly get back to normal, but he felt sorry for Eli because he knew what it was like to like someone else who didn't feel the same way. "Want to get out of here?"

"And do what?"

"Why don't we stop at a store on our way back to my house and grab ice cream and candy and lick our wounds in front of a horror movie?"

"I hate horror movies." The red headed boy paused, licking his lips. "But that sounds really great right now."

Blaine smiled closed mouthed and patted Eli's knee supportively. "Come on. We need to find our jackets." Giving Eli his time and a chance to be his friend again was the least Blaine could do for his friend. After the recent couple weeks of thinking he was becoming clingy and annoying, prying and a busy body, it was nice to know there was a reason behind it and he also felt like a jerk for not seeing it sooner. Some part of him, because of this, even after everything with Kurt being a failure, felt that things could get better. And for the first time in a while, he was hopeful and felt strong, like he could control his own future. It was a good feeling and he had every intention of keeping it.

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**Please review!**

**I wrote the party part of the chapter a LONG time ago and was waiting for a chapter to come around where I could use it because the events and emotions that happened in this chapter are very important and pivotal. **

**SEMI SPOILER**** Look to see a change in not only Kurt, but Blaine as well. **

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	25. Chapter 25

**Okay, I'm back and this took a lot longer to get out than I had hoped. **

**In this chapter you'll see a new side of Blaine and a new side of Kurt. Also, there will be a hint as to what that something that all of you have been wondering: what happened to Kurt?**

**Please review!**

* * *

**Chapter 25**

"You're such a guy, I swear. I'll never understand why you like 80's horror movies, Kill Bill, _and _a movie called Snatch." Eli was well into a monologue about the movies Blaine had available to watch and Blaine was laughing along to every bit of it while eating popcorn handfuls at a time. "Anything with the name Snatch is not something I find appealing."

"That's because you're a homo."

"And for someone who claims to like musicals too, you don't have any."

"_Actually,_ I do. My mom currently has a few of mine in her bedroom and some of the girls in glee have borrowed the others. So, thank you very much." He smiled and passed the bowl of popcorn over to Eli. They had settled nicely into a comfortable conversation since they left Dalton. Blaine still couldn't get Kurt off his mind, but was doing a good job of hiding it. Eli was also doing a good job at not making things any more awkward than they had been. He gave Blaine is space, but still thought being occasionally flirtatious, as he always had been, was okay. And it was. Blaine showed no signs of minding it.

It might have been three o'clock in the morning, but both boys were still wired off of caffeine and sugar to keep them going for hours. Eli, however, was more awake than Blaine, but that may have been because he was purposefully watching what he was doing and saying. He wanted the mending part of their friendship to be perfect. "How are you still awake?"

"Pretty sure that Five Hour Energy shot I took has something to do with it." Blaine went over to the pile of DVD cases they made and started exchanging one for another, showing the cover to Eli and waiting for a nod of approval.

"No, I mean- this may be my innocence showing, but aren't guys usually tired after… you know?" The glossed over sentiment of '_ya know'_ was perfectly put in a way to allude to Blaine having done something sexual with Kurt. What exactly wasn't known to Eli, but Blaine did admit that his messed up clothes was due in part by Kurt.

Blaine fixed his eyes on the DVD player and thought about how awkward things just got. He coughed nervously and then cleared his throat, rejoining the red head on the floor in front of the couch. "That's, um, usually true. I, uh, well, I c-can't speak for everyone, but… I don't know."

"Is it okay? If I ask questions, I mean?" He paused, able to feel the incredibly thick uncomfortableness in the room. "Sorry. Never mind. I didn't mean to make things weird or whatever. It's just that I don't know anything about anything and I was-am, um, curious about… _things_."

Suddenly thinking about the situation and weighing the possible pros and cons of having the sex talk with his friend, who only admitted to having feelings for him a number of hours ago, he decided to bite. If anything else, with their newfound honesty thing going, Blaine can always back out of the conversation, saying that he didn't think it was appropriate. After all, who else would Eli have to talk to about these things? "Oh, um. Okay. Look, I just want to throw it out there, that I'll answer anything you want, as long as it's not about specifics on my exploits with Kurt, because I don't want to have that conversation."

"Of course! I wasn't going to do that anyway. I've just been thinking about it recently and while I've seen _those_ movies and I _do_ have the internet from time to time at my house, it still doesn't take the place of actual knowledge."

"Right…" Blaine grabbed his drink and took a very long sip from his glass of ice tea. "Okay. Shoot. What do you want to know?"

"Okay, so the tired thing?"

Blaine laughed. His friend was incredulous. "Sometimes it's easy to become tired immediately after and want to fall asleep if you've been," he cleared his throat, feeling a little weird because he and Kurt barely had these conversations and they were the ones doing it. "Well- _working hard,_ if you know what I mean. Like if you're all sweaty, nasty, and out of breath. But then there's the times that when you're with someone who you're comfortable with and you're able to do the cuddling thing. Sleeping is all about being relaxed and not just overexerted. When you're comfortable with the person you were just with, it can be easy to fall asleep afterwards. Then sometimes it doesn't matter because you're still caught up in the excitement of it, or you have to go, so you don't even think about how much energy you just burned through." He couldn't believe he just got through all that.

"And how you do go about initiating the first move? I know it's not like an x-tube video turned real, but how do you know when to just… go?"

"Again, it's a comfort thing. If that's what's on your mind and your partner is giving the right signals then the first move has already been made."

"What's the right signals?"

"I don't know. It can be a look in his eyes." Blaine started to look off into nothing, thinking about his experiences as if in his own personal montage and listing off things that Kurt did. _God, he's so beautiful,_ Blaine thought as his memory came and went. "A touch, a comment, anything. But when it's there, you'll know. Unless you're on Grindr and it's an obvious thing."

Eli laughed nervously, while Blaine grabbed more popcorn. "I can't imagine Kurt not making things obvious based on how I saw him dancing with all those men." It was an accident. He didn't mean to say it. Eli really _really_ didn't mean to say that. He especially didn't mean for it to come out the way it did either.

Blaine just looked at him, blinking and trying to keep his thoughts to himself. Eli promised not to mention Kurt, but here he was, sounding like he was judging Kurt like everyone else did. Sure, Blaine was mad and hurt, as always when it came to Kurt, but he still hated the way Eli thought and spoke about him. "Kurt isn't a slut, Eli," is what finally came out.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to come out the way it did and I didn't mean for it to- I'm sorry! I just mean that at the party and in Scandals, he made it clear that he was open for options."

"…Right."

"Oh God, I'm sorry, Blaine. I shouldn't have said anything. I didn't mean to. I know you hate it when I say anything about him, but he's my only frame of reference."

"Kurt does make it clear when he wants something, but he was always different with me. He's not some character out of a porno. He's a person and it isn't fair for people to think of him the way he does because it's not like the people he gets with are any better or worse than him. They have the same thing in mind and he shouldn't be judged for it. Straight men would be doing the exact same thing with women if they could get away with it as much as some gay men do. There's nothing wrong with wanting sex with no strings attached as long as the person you're doing it with is on the same page."

"I know. I'm sorry. I'll stop. I really am sorry."

Blaine took a few seconds to really look Eli in the face. It was obvious that he knew his mistake and felt bad about it. If it were possible, the blazing alarmed look in Eli's eyes may have just made his ginger hair look brighter. His entire face was blushing in shame and regret. _Don't talk about Kurt. Don't talk about Kurt. Don't talk about Kurt. _Blaine chanted in his head, hoping he wasn't going to start saying things about their person exploits that he, not ten minutes ago, said he wouldn't. He failed. "Kurt, while he makes everything confusing and way more intense than it has to be, our sex life wasn't anything like that. When our clothes were off, nothing existed in the world, but us. Sometimes, it was hot and sexy and full of primal excitement; sometimes it was about passion; sometimes it was just touching and about getting off because we're teenage boys and have new and exciting needs. But every once in a while," he paused, looking off again, feeling the tiniest of tugs in the corners of his lips, reliving another memory montage, "we'd have these moments of pure, indescribable, _something._ It doesn't even have a word for how it felt. Everything in the world would disappear. All our problems, all the worlds problems, all our wants and needs… just everything went away because we'd be lost in each other. I can still see the look in his eyes and the smile on his lips. One single touch of his fingertips on my chest was more emotion filled than anything we'd ever done." His hand absently covered a space between his pecks. Eli didn't know it, but it was where Kurt would run a finger down from the hollow in Blaine's neck to his waist band just because it made Blaine shiver. "I don't know if that means anything to you or if you even understand any of it, but that guy you can't stand and think badly about… that guy is the same person as the one I just described. He's the first person who ever made me feel remotely sexy or attractive in any way. He makes me so angry, but he also makes me so happy and nervous. I act as strong as I can around him, but, really, I still remember the guy I was a few months ago who couldn't complete a sentence because his presence made me _that_ nervous. I'm confident because of him. I'm much stronger and I stick up for myself because of him. I'm a lot of things now. He hurt me in many ways, but in others, I think he made me better too."

"Is that why you keep going back to him and forgiving him?"

"Probably. You'll understand it when you feel it, but there's something about him that gives me a natural pull in his direction. Even tonight. I was so mad at him and I didn't want to talk to him, but that one look on his face… it wasn't about sex, that wasn't his sex face. It was the look that I can't say no to. He makes me feel needed. And I keep thinking that there's going to be this ground breaking moment for us, but it never comes and I keep getting let down. I don't know who's screwed up more. Me? I keep putting myself in the situation to have my heart massacred. Or him? He's got some secret that he hasn't told anyone and it's eating him alive from the inside out. Maybe that's another reason I keep forgiving him. I'm blaming his actions on his secret, when he is the one making his own choices and he chooses to hurt me again and again."

"So, you kissed me to make him feel the way he makes you feel?"

"Yes. And I hurt you in the process. I'm sorry."

"I'm not going to say it was okay, because it wasn't. It will be someday, but not right now."

"Is there anything I can do to make it up to you? And to make up for the jerk I've been lately?"

"You haven't really been a jerk and you're making up for it now by being honest with me. Honesty will help me in all of this. But I do have to be honest with you too. I think showing Kurt what he's done to you isn't such a bad idea. Just as long as you're not using someone who has feelings for you."

Blaine looked awkwardly at his friend, wondering what he meant and where he was going with this.

"I don't see a problem with making Kurt pay for what he's done to you."

"I don't want to torture him. I didn't even really want to kiss you to prove a point. Sorry. That came out wrong. I mean that I don't really want to kiss or hook up with other guys. I've only really ever wanted him."

"Yeah, but what's one harmless, meaningless hook up going to do?"

"Make me feel ill." He said it with such certainty that, in Blaine's mind, it should have been a moot point and the conversation should have ended there. But it didn't. Boy, how it didn't. If anything, it continued to make things much much worse.

Eli went on to explain the psychology behind what Kurt was doing to Blaine and what it could do for Blaine to do the same in return. It would help him understand Kurt better and it would show Kurt what he was doing.

Blaine's eyes bugged out. "I know you're coming from a place of caring, but you're giving me horrible advice. You're telling me to compromise my morals and self worth just to get back at someone _you _would love to see hurting."

"Okay, when you put it that way, maybe I am giving you bad advice."

"I don't want to seem like I'm putting you down, but you don't get it because you're a virgin. Sex does something to you. It changes you. Kurt was my first and regardless where our lives go, he will always be my first and I'll always remember him that way. He hurt me, but I don't want to hurt him."

"Oh, come on," Eli sounded incredulous. "I don't buy it. I get that you have a connection to him because he was your first, but I highly doubt that some part of you doesn't want to see him put in his place, or get what's coming to him."

"You've got to stop this! You know nothing about Kurt and even less about sex and what it does to you. You're only saying those things because you don't like Kurt at all and _you_ want him put in his place. The only place I want to see him in is 'safe.' You don't get it and I'm starting to think that you never will."

"Why are you constantly defending him? What good has he been to you?"

"You think what little I've told you is even close to an inch of the mile I've been with him. You're naïve and kidding yourself if you think you even come close to understanding any of what I'm saying."

"So, I can't understand because I'm a virgin or because I've never been in love?"

"I'm saying you can't understand because you don't know anything about Kurt or what he and I went through. You have no idea how much I never told you."

"Well, I'm sorry," Eli said, sounding like he didn't really mean it at all. "I'm trying to understand, but you're not making it very easy when you spent three months fucking some guy who doesn't seem to have any regard for your emotions and not telling me."

"That's because it was NONE of your fucking business! I don't owe you anything! You're not my boyfriend and I never gave you any indication that I wanted you to be."

"We're supposed to be friends. Friends tell each other things."

"But not everything. My personal life has nothing to do with you, despite your annoying attempts at trying to insert yourself into it."

"Annoying? Wow, forgive me if I was trying to be caring."

"You call sitting entirely too close to me on the couch and touching me any chance you got caring? Asking _way_ too many questions about my date with Dave or personal life that should have been _my_ decision to share and not yours to ask; _that's_ caring? It's not caring, it's fucking prying for your own benefit. You know, I felt sorry for you because I thought _maybe_ I lead you on a little, but no; I didn't. I see now that it was you pulling strings to get your own way. You saw what you wanted to see and you were wrong."

"Seriously? You're going to pin this on me? Really? You think _I'm _the guy who can't take a hint? Kurt uses you. You're his toy. Why would he want a relationship with you when you freely give him the only thing he wants from you? It's been three months, how many arguments and fights, and guess what? He doesn't want you. Christ, how long did it take for you to drop your pants for him tonight? A whole minute?"

" It was better than sitting and listening to you stutter through asking me out because of a delusion you put in your own head. At least, _I _got off. What did you get?"

Eli gulped and stared openly at Blaine. At this point he had already decided that he would be leaving and not spending the night. He'd have to sleep in his car because of his parents' alarm system at his house, but it would be better than staying the night at Blaine's house. "You know, I'm glad this happened. I am. Because now I have perfect clarity. You were right. I can't stand Kurt. I think he's full of himself and Lord knows there aren't many men left at Scandal's that he hasn't slept with yet. But what makes him worse, in my eyes. He took everything good about you and turned you into him."

Blaine furrowed his features, preparing to fight back with something even more hurtful, but instead he watched Eli get up, take his shoes and jacket, and leave. He sat there, continuing to stare at the closed door for a number of minutes. Long after Eli's car tore out of the driveway, Blaine was still staring. He wasn't hoping that Eli would walk back in and he had no intentions of apologizing, but it hit him. Eli was right. He slew out hurtful things at his friend to get him to shut up and, maybe in his subconscious, Blaine may have wanted Eli to leave. Didn't Kurt do those things? He used to say the worst things to Blaine to make him leave. He thought of the things he said and some parts were all too real because he'd heard "You're not my boyfriend" on many occasions. He bit his lip.

Today wasn't supposed to go this way. He was the state tournament champion today. Kurt said he missed him yesterday and protected him from being hurt by Hunter. Kurt kissed him and touched him. He said Blaine was better than everyone else. It wasn't supposed to end with Kurt hurting him again and then Blaine losing a friend. Eli was right. Blaine was acting like Kurt. But what did he have to show for it? Nothing. Not Kurt and not Eli. He was alone.

…

Blaine had forgotten how quiet I morning could be without his phone blowing up every fifteen seconds with a text from Eli. They hadn't spoken and Blaine had a suspicion they may not ever again. Eli was stubborn in nature and Blaine found himself not feeling sorry for saying the things he did to his friend. Or, rather, ex-friend. In the hallway, he saw Kurt standing at his locker, alone, fixing his hair in the mirror. He first instinct was to say hello, but then remembered that Kurt didn't have a conversation with someone about how he felt about Blaine the way Blaine had with Eli. Then it occurred to him that even if Kurt had the chance, he probably wouldn't. He sighed, shrugging his shoulders on the exhale, and walked right past the lithe teen, not giving him a second look because, even though he was comfortable now with openly admitting to himself that he was stupidly still in love with Kurt Hummel, Kurt was still cold and didn't want much of anything to do with him.

Unbeknownst to him, however, Kurt watching Blaine in the reflection of his mirror. He watched the sway of his hips and how hard he was grasping the strap of his messenger bag. He saw the faked confident stature Blaine held with his squared shoulders and head held high. He never walked like that on his most confident day, even Kurt knew that. No, he was walking like that on purpose. Kurt puffed his cheeks out, giving one last glance at Blaine's ass as it walked away and reached for his can of hairspray.

This happened again on Tuesday and Wednesday. In art class, they didn't speak and, coincidentally, not one of them noticed the other person chancing glances at the other. In gym, they didn't talk even if they were on the same team. Kurt didn't do anything to bother Blaine in gym class the way he used to. He didn't do any of the things he wanted to like purposely throw a softball at him on Monday, run obnoxiously close to him on Tuesday, or over-crowd him and get too hands-ee while blocking him in a game of basketball on Wednesday. No, he didn't do any of that, though he mentally found all of them hilarious. Instead, he let Blaine have normal days as if Kurt weren't in his life.

That, however, was proving to be impossible because Blaine was being driven crazy by Kurt's non-actions. Kurt never just left him alone without some form of plan. He kept waiting for a mental bomb to go off because of something Kurt did, but the week was half over and Blaine didn't see Kurt so much as look at him once. Most days, Kurt would do something incredibly annoying, crowd him with obnoxiously mean things to say, or apologize endlessly about something he did. But he wasn't doing any of those things. Kurt was silent and acted as if Blaine wasn't even there. In the locker room, their red lockers were two apart from each other and they were the only ones on that side of the room. He didn't look at Blaine, speak to him, or do anything to make him uncomfortable in any way.

Kurt didn't look at Blaine as he undressed, stand in the stall next to him in the showers, or make a comment that was flattering, offensive, and obnoxious all at the ssame time. It drove Blaine insane. He had thought that finally getting peace and quiet for once would be heaven. He thought Kurt finally doing what Blaine had been asking him to do every time he was mad at him; to leave him alone; would be a breath of fresh air. Instead, it only made Kurt the center of his thoughts at all times. He couldn't concentrate on anything, no matter what it was, and found that he was searching for Kurt wherever he went; in the hallways, in the lunchroom, in classrooms, in the parking lot, at the boxing gym, and at the sub shop next door. He couldn't stop and it was making him crazy.

At night, in his bed, his mind wouldn't need to drift off to thoughts of Kurt because they already were on him and it never took long for one thought to lead to another he Blaine would find himself harder than he ever thought he could be and wishing Kurt were there. He missed feeling needed and missed feeling wanted. He would admit that he loved Kurt, but tried not to admit that he also missed the secret wielding Hummel because he also hated him and never let himself forget it.

By Thursday, Blaine was in a constant state of bothered lust because he was tired of fantasizing about Kurt, who was no longer giving him the time of day, _and probably fucking his way through Lima at Scandals,_ he thought ruthlessly. After yet another gym class of tortured Kurt silence, Blaine felt like he was going to snap. He was about to say something, but Kurt was already carting his shower caddy over to the showers, wearing only a towel. _God, he looks so fucking sexy._

Since Blaine was leaving McKinley in two weeks and had already won the last fencing tournament that he would see for the year, he decided to bow out of practices early and hand in his uniform. He stayed behind as the other jocks filed in and out for their own sport practices and Blaine cleaned out his fencing locker. Half way through, with all his equipment scattered on the benches and floor, he could hear humming from the showers. He had thought that everyone had gone, but then remembered that he hadn't seen Kurt return. His next thought was that Kurt was taking an awfully long time in the shower.

He bit his lip, looking in the direction of the shower room, though he couldn't see it from where he was sitting. Eli's advice of showing Kurt what he was doing to Blaine was now sounding like good advice, no matter how stupid it actually was. He closed his eyes, not meaning to, but seeing Kurt naked and rinsing shampoo out of his hair. Blaine's mouth watered and once again, his dick was swelling. Taking another glance at the showers, he got up and undressed. A cold shower would do him good. He grabbed his shower caddy and padded off toward the sound of humming.

Kurt had been waiting a long time for the water to get hot again. When he originally left to take a shower, all the stalls were taken, so he had to wait, then he had to wait for the water to get hot. Now he was alone and preferred it that way because he never missed the uncomfortable body language everyone that wasn't Karofsky or Blaine showed when Kurt was near. That's when he noticed the water turn on in the stall next to him. He turned his head and for the first time in five days, met caramel Blaine's eyes. Before Kurt had a chance to get lost in the color his missed so much, he quickly looked back to the shower head in his own stall.

"You've been in here a long time," Blaine said.

"There was a line and the hot water just kicked back on."

"K said that Scandals was a blast last night with all the drag queens." Blaine's attempt at nonchalant conversation was weak, but he didn't know what he was doing.

"I wouldn't know. I didn't go."

"No?"

"No." Kurt wasn't really making much of an effort to converse. His tone was flat and uncaring. He acted as if Blaine's presence was a nuisance.

This was the final kick that Blaine needed to snap. If Kurt wanted uncaring, he'd give it to him.

Kurt reached for his loofa, but Blaine's hand met his first. It startled Kurt at first, but when his head tilted slightly over his shoulder, Blaine was standing behind him, naked, in his shower stall. He retracted his hand and faced forward, feeling his chest start to warm and heart start to pick up. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his body wash disappear and reappear from Blaine taking it. He remembered to breath when he felt his loofa sliding across his back and shoulders. If it weren't for his breathing, he might have been frozen. Kurt's breath caught and he felt his cock growing in excitement. He was able to feel Blaine's lips on his shoulders and arms as the loofa trailed to his ass and began massaging the muscles there. "What are you doing?" Kurt managed to get out, despite sounding like it was effortless to say.

"You wanted no strings, right?" Blaine's voice was low and sultry. The kind of sound that Kurt always loved hearing.

The taller boy looked over his left shoulder and saw the honey eyes so close to his, looking lust blown and innocent all at the same time. "I thought you were tired of being played with?"

"I guess I'm a glutton for punishment." Blaine slipped his soap lathered hands up and over Kurt's hips, then downward finding Kurt to already be half hard, but knowing that he already would be.

No more words were passed in conversation over the next half hour. The only coherent words said were those of moans, commands, and encouragements to continue.

By the end, lips were swollen and bruised; bodies were sated, tongues had the other's flavor on them and there still weren't many words to say. Kurt leaned in for one last kiss, capturing Blaine's lips between his own, his breath still labored. "What changed your mind?" he asked softly.

Blaine didn't say anything in response. Kurt never gave _him _explanations. He looked at him, his honey eyes wanting to exude so much more. One last kiss settled his mind. Blaine shook his head and shrugged his shoulders at the same time in small motions, still not saying anything and moved over to his own stall to finish the shower he originally intended to take.

For a second, Kurt's eyes fell to the floor, knowing what Blaine had done. He did what Kurt had always done, left him wanting more. So he gave him more.

The following morning, he dropped a note in Blaine's locker that asked him to meet him in a bathroom during second period. Then they had another romp in the showers after gym again when everyone had left. This time Kurt brought condoms and lube so the feeling of Blaine's fingers as they slid in and out of him, as they had yesterday, weren't as rough. And this time they didn't hurry. They took their time; first, Kurt taking Blaine from behind in the morning in a bathroom stall and then Blaine penetrating Kurt in the showers, making every moment last because they were both doing this for the same reasons now and not knowing that the other person was as well. Not once did they make eye contact for either interaction. They were fooling around again and having sex because they both needed the other's touch more than they were willing to admit.

Kurt was comforted in the feeling that Blaine knew every little thing about how to give his partner the most pleasure. He knew every single facet of Kurt's body and knew, instinctually, that Kurt would moan if he dragged his nails down Kurt's legs while Blaine was taken from behind. And Blaine knew that kissing his palm at any time would make a warm breath leave Kurt's lips and make him hold onto Blaine tighter, throwing himself into the act with a new sense of vigor.

The end, the very end, was always bitter sweet though because while they just did something substantial and heartwarming and so _so _sexy, they still weren't really talking. When they finished, Kurt would say, "Thanks." Blaine would answer with, "See you later," and that would be it. That's all it was and it hurt them both.

…..

"You look glum," Burt said over dinner on Saturday night.

"I'm fine," Kurt answered quickly trying to shove as much food in his mouth as he could to avoid answering a question.

"Kurt…" his father warned. "As long as you've been alive, you have always done _that,"_ he pointed at him with his fork, "with your food when you didn't want to talk about something and for as long as I can remember, you saying _fine_ meant that you had the world coming crashing down on your shoulders."

The son pretended to smile with his mouth full of food and pointed to his full mouth as if to say 'Can't talk, I'm eating.'

"Then swallow because you're not getting out of this one. I've watched you for weeks now mope around this house. I asked you where you wanted to go for our Christmas vacation this year because it's your year to pick and you haven't even given it a thought, have you? Ever since Blaine came to D.C. you've been acting like this."

Kurt finally finished chewing and swallowing everything in his mouth. He made a motion to start guzzling the water in his glass, but his father stopped him with a clearing of his throat and a warning noise. "No way. You're not getting out of this. Talk to me. I'm right here and we don't get too many days to do this. I want to help you and I don't like being gone all the time, knowing that I can't help you when I'm a plane ride away from you."

"Dad, I'm fine. Really."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"_Really_?" Burt tested again, knowing better. "You had a blast with Blaine in D.C. then he stops coming over, you stop talking about him and looking like you're empty. Then the Karofsky kid stays the night in your room, and now you don't talk to me at all. What's going on? Talk to me, Kurt, please."

"It's nothing. I'm fine."

"You're not _fine_. Stop saying you're fine."

"It's nothing you have to worry about."

"Damn it, Kurt!" Burt's fist came pounding down on the table and Kurt reached for his glass to keep it from toppling over from the shake of the table. "Talk to me!" Burt had patience, a lot of it. So, Kurt knew he must have pushed his father to his breaking point if this was how he was acting.

He thought for a few seconds, trying to find the right words. "I'm having…" he swallowed, "trouble in school. In life actually."

"So, what is it? Kids? Grades?"

"The first one. Blaine and I were talking in the locker room and some guys overheard us and within seconds the whole school knew I'm gay…" he paused, unable to keep eye contact with his father for the next part he was about to say because he knew he had to say it, Burt would be expecting more to the story. "…and that I'd been sleeping with Blaine." Another gulp went down his throat.

Burt sat back in his chair, slouching a little and rubbed his balding head. He sighed because he was really in fear. After the first school, he knew how cruel high schoolers could be. "Is anyone…?" his voice trailed off.

"No! Dad, no one would dare push around the congressman's son and if they're calling me names, it's behind my back, but no one except a couple people from glee club, will talk to me and I've quit the swim team because I can tell from the way that my team mates look at me and keep towels wrapped around their waist now that my presence makes them uncomfortable. It's the same thing in the locker room, I've stayed in the far end with Blaine, but Blaine and I aren't really talking right now."

"Why didn't you tell me? How long has this thing at school been going on?"

"A while."

"And why aren't you and Blaine talking?"

"I don't want to tell you."

"Why not?"

Kurt started to feel his face heat up. "I'm…" His tongue slowly lapped at his lips, feeling everything start to dry out. "I don't want to disappoint you. You're all I have and I couldn't bare it if you looked at me like you were both disgusted and embarrassed."

"When have I ever done that?"

"When I woke up in the hospital. After… you know."

"Kurt, I don't know what you think you saw or how you interpreted it, but I wasn't disgusted by _you._ I was disgusted with what happened to you. And I wasn't disappointed in you. I was disappointed in myself for not being able to protect you better. Kurt, you're my son. Obviously, I haven't been doing my job well enough for you to know that no matter what happens, no matter what you do or have done to you, I'm going to love you and want to help you no matter what. I helped give you life and nothing can break that bond."

Kurt's eyes welled up and started shifting from side to side, fighting the want to look at his father. When he finally did, he found that his dad had also been fight back tears and failing because his cheeks were soaking wet and the expression he wore was an eager one that was expecting the worst, but hoping for something better. The son sniffled and finally kept eye contact. "Dad, I haven't been very good to myself."

"What do you mean?"

"You know that thing you always said about not throwing myself around?"

"Have you been?"

Kurt nodded. "Yes." A new stream of tears were making themselves known. "I think I gave myself to anyone who was willing."

"Why?"

"Because I hate myself. I thought that letting people use me would make me feel wanted, but I never felt wanted enough and I just kept doing it again and again, hoping that the next person would stop the pain I had."

"What about Blaine?"

His name was the magic word. Kurt was openly sobbing now. "Oh, God. Dad, he hates me. I screwed up so bad. I-I love him. That's the stupid thing. I love him and I drove him away because I lied to him. I made him believe one thing while I was out with other guys. What's worse is that I'm still toying with his head. I'm awful, Dad. I'm such a bad person."

Burt got up. Kurt thought it was because his father was about to walk away, but then he heard the chair next to him sliding out. His father sat down next to him and put his arm around his son while Kurt struggled to breath from crying too hard.

"I love you. I want you to know that. No matter what you've done, I love you." Burt was sniffling and trying to stay calm and strong for his sobbing son. It wasn't an easy task because his heart broke into about a billion pieces. Through everything and all their closeness, Kurt still felt a lone and unwanted. He felt unlovable. Burt knew there wasn't nothing he could do to make his son feel wanted in _that_ way, but as a father, he felt that he had failed. He failed his son, who was so good at hiding his feelings because he thought Burt would abandon him.

"I don't know what to do, dad. I want to f-fix this so bad. I can see him abandoning what is so good and pure about him. I made him think that treating people the way I treated him was okay. The way I've treated him was so awful. I don't deserve for him to forgive me. I don't deserve him. I never have. I tried to leave him alone, but I can't. I just c-can't. I love him."

"Why do you love him?"

"When I first met Blaine, I hated him because he was me before all this started. He was untouched and innocent. I was jealous of what he had because I wished I still had that. Then I stood up for him when those idiots were bullying him and from then on, I couldn't stay away. I wanted to make him feel the way I did because I wanted someone to understand how much pain I'm still in. I don't know where it changed, but I stopped feeling that way and started to think of him as someone who could save me, but for as much as I wanted to be saved, I never let him. I don't know what to do."

Burt's words came out faster than he knew he had them. "Then save him. Save him the way no one could save you."

Dinner was over, but Father and Son talked well into the early morning hours. Kurt told him everything about what was going on with him and Blaine and what he never told his therapist about how he felt about what happened to him all those years ago. They both shared stories from their lives and cried tears of both joy and sadness.

By the time Burt tucked his son in, for the first time since Kurt was ten years old, he finally felt that he had done something that helped his son. He had accepted him long ago, but maybe now, Kurt finally believed him.

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**Please review!**

**Tumblr: grace-ryan**


	26. Chapter 26

**And now the story is about to change :) If you've ever wondered how Kurt could redeem himself... just see what I had planned this whole time :) **

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**Chapter 26 **

About midday on Saturday, Burt was profusely apologizing to Kurt because he had an emergency and had to go back to D.C. Kurt understood and told his father that he was okay to be alone, despite Burt saying that after last night he didn't want to leave Kurt alone in an empty house.

"I'll be fine," he said and gave Burt an encouraging smile. "We'll talk later. Call me when you land." He hugged his father and received a kiss on his head. Minutes later, he was alone and wasn't sure what to do with his time. He had his homework done and nothing was holding his attention for longer than five minutes. All he could think of was Blaine. He tried watching TV, but ended up only being able to flick through each channel rapidly five times and shut the contraption off. He tried reading, but after reading the same page three times and not knowing what he read, he shut the book and put it away. For about thirty seconds, he thought to go for a run, but decided better of it. Baking was a thought that he seriously considered, but no one would be here to eat the cookies and didn't feel like bringing them to school. Karofsky and he still weren't on the best of terms to hang out even though they were friendly again. Even looking on the discount fashion websites held no interest for him

In the end, Kurt tossed and turned in his bed for hours attempting to take a nap. He was lonely and that feeling was creeping up on him again. "Fuck it," he said out loud and got up to take a shower.

About an hour and a half later, Kurt was sitting at the bar at Scandals sipping a dirty martini. A Brittney song came on and he turned his head to see the cavalcade of men start dirty dancing up against one another. Then there was a flash of something he didn't expect. For a second, Kurt thought he saw… _No,_ he thought. He readjusted his seating, leaning far over to see the image again. _But that couldn't be._ A short teen with dark hair and a gelled comb over was dancing rather provocatively. His face was flushed like he'd been dancing for a while. _Blaine doesn't dance with anyone, but Eli._ But Eli wasn't attached to the short teen the way Kurt expected him to be. In fact, Eli wasn't anywhere near Blaine. Kurt scanned the crowd. He couldn't see Eli anywhere.

He abandoned his drink and went over to the dance floor. Squeezing his way through, he made it over to Blaine and pushed his way to get behind him. With a hand carefully placed on Blaine's hip from behind, he started dancing to make himself seem normal.

Feeling the pressure of someone behind him, Blaine draped himself backwards, the way he saw Kurt do may times. The balance was easier than he thought. He attention was diverted because the person dancing behind him was a better and far better smelling specimen than the man in front of him, so Blaine chanced turning around. Two feelings went through him. Elation and a bit of _Oh, it's you_. It's not that he would rather have seen anyone other than Kurt, but their interactions these days were purely physical and Blaine wasn't exactly happy with Kurt. There was a reason he only had sex with him these days and having the boyfriend argument afterwards wasn't it.

A smile spread across his slightly intoxicated face anyway. "You found me."

"Yeah. Didn't expect to see you here."

Blaine circled his hand around Kurt's and started tugging him towards the exit, leaving the poor sap that he had entranced behind.

"Where are we going?" Kurt asked.

"My car."

"Why?"

A single eyebrow arched up and Blaine smirked. "Because the windows are begging to get all steamed up."

Something about the way Blaine said it crushed Kurt. He yanked his hand out of Blaine's. "I'd rather dance with you."

As if Kurt denying him a sexual favor offended him, Blaine scoffed. "Oh, come on, Kurt. Don't tell me you're turning into a prude now."

"Why are you talking like this?" He knew exactly why. Kurt was looking at a mirror. This was how Blaine was spoken to by Kurt for months.

Instead of answering, Blaine just looked insulted at being turned down. "Fine. You're loss."

Kurt stood in his lover's way, blocking him from making a move on anyone. "Why don't you have a drink with me?"

"If I wanted a drink, I would have taken you to the bar."

"So, that it? The back of your car or nothing?"

"That's news to you?" Total bitch was being read across Blaine's face. His body language was different, however. His normal posture was the only apparent thing left of Kurt's Blaine Anderson.

Kurt was still too stunned and shocked to move fast enough. Instead, all he could do was watch Blaine move around him and go back to the dance floor, where men easily flocked to fill up Blaine's dance card.

Burt's words were on a record loop in Kurt's head. "Save him. Save him. Save him." He didn't know how he was supposed to do that. Kurt would be damned if he let Blaine leave with someone else to take them into the back room. He'd turn into the biggest cock block anyone's ever seen before he'd let that happen. Until then, he remained on his perch at the bar keeping a close watch and trying to figure something else out because his window of time was done.

Kurt was not having fun. His usual game of arriving at a prime hour at Scandals and making his rounds, trying to find the best looking hook-up he could find, then dancing it up to make everyone jealous that he was not their arm candy for the night, wasn't working. All he could do was keep looking at Blaine. Blaine was being bought drinks and chatted up, not to mention felt up on the dance floor. The whole view was driving Kurt insane. It wasn't so much a jealousy thing, though that was there and very prevalent. It was more of a protective thing. He watched how Blaine moved and used his body language. He watched where Blaine's eyes roamed and the looks he gave other men. Blaine was turning into Kurt. It nearly made smoke come out of Kurt's mouth and ears at the notion of Blaine acting like Kurt. It angered him.

To get a closer look, Kurt decided to switch to the dance floor and danced with random men that he paid no attention to just so he could keep an eye on Blaine. He watched Blaine accept a kiss from a late twenty something that looked addicted to self tanner and deep-v t-shirts. This was his last bit of nerve. He couldn't watch this or attempt to ignore it anymore. He walked away from his dance partner, completely ignoring him and not saying anything as a wayward goodbye.

Blaine was giggling at something the man he was with was whispering in his ear. "So, is it my turn to buy you a drink yet?" Kurt said, pretending to be playful. It didn't come out that way though. Since Kurt was gloriously angry, anything nice wasn't going to sound the way it was intended.

"What do you want?" Blaine snapped, annoyed.

"Where's Eli?"

"He didn't come."

"You came alone?"

The man slung his arm around Blaine and smiled at Kurt. "Oh, honey, don't worry, he won't be coming alone tonight." He laughed a particularly annoying nasally laugh, which grossed out Kurt.

Now he knew how Blaine felt every time he was forced to watch Kurt in action. He wanted to slap the shit out of this guy, but instead he turned his attention back to Blaine. He grabbed his hand. "Come on. We're leaving."

Blaine swiftly slid his hand out of Kurt's. "No. You can do what you want. I'm staying."

Kurt's eyes narrowed, obviously put off. "I am not leaving you here alone. Get off your high horse and come with me."

The overly self tanned man got between Blaine and Kurt, trying to establish dominance. "He said he's staying."

Kurt was undeterred and more annoyed by the man's show of alpha-ism. Clearly he had never met the likes of Kurt Hummel before. "Look, Orange Glow. First off, you need to lay off the bronzer and self tanner because you look like an over cooked rotisserie chicken. Second, he's a minor, so say hello to prison if you even think about tapping that. And third, get the fuck out of my face before I ruin yours."

The man turned back to Blaine. The sound of the word 'minor' got his attention. He looked him up and down, thinking that he should have known. Blaine said nothing because he was in complete shock that Kurt did that to him. Now Blaine knew that he could never go back to Scandals until he was actually twenty one because word would spread quickly that he was a minor and no one would come near him, or possibly even let him in. The man walked away after an annoyed sound followed up with a sigh.

"Let's go," Kurt said, taking Blaine's hand again.

He took his hand back once more. "I'm not going anywhere with you!" His exclamation was screeched, not caring if he would make a scene or not.

"Oh stop acting like a drama queen. If you wanna yell at me, do it in the car, not in public."

"I'll yell at you wherever I want and I'll go home with whomever I want, whenever I want. You don't own me."

"_I know_!" Kurt yelled, exasperated. They'd been saying that to each other for a while now. It was starting to get old and, though Kurt never wanted to admit it before, it hurt every time it was said by either other them because deep down he really did want Blaine to be his and only his. "Believe me; I know I don't own you. Let's just get out of here and talk about it in my car."

"I don't want to be anywhere near you. I hate you."

Kurt sighed. He'd heard Blaine say that he hated him before, but for some reason, it stung sevenfold this time. "Please," he begged gently, his eyes naturally giving off an emotion Blaine rarely saw. He wasn't playing a game. It was real. "Don't do this."

Even through Blaine's buzz and stubbornness, he could see Kurt's sincerity. It was quickly making his shield that he was holding up falter. He was trying to be cold and uncaring, the way Kurt always way, but as a beginner, it wasn't easy shutting everything he'd ever thought off. "Why not? You do. You do it all the time. Why can't I?"

"Because you're not me. You're better. I don't want you to become who I am."

Everything went silent for Blaine. Even the based out thump-thump of the house music had been drowned out. He didn't understand why Kurt was doing this, but he understood the expression on his face. "You can't keep doing this. It's not fair to play with me like this. I know you don't care or anything, but _I do._ I care and it's me who keeps getting hurt. So, please, if you've ever cared about me in any shape or form, friend, lover, boyfriend, or otherwise, just leave me alone."

Kurt gulped. It was now or never. What Blaine was experiencing, the loss of sound, was the exact opposite of what was happening to Kurt. For him, everything was getting louder. The music was messing with his thoughts and even his heart beat was pounding so hard that it was giving him a headache. He leaned in close and put his lips near Blaine's ear, being careful not to touch him. "You're wrong. I do care." He leaned back and looked Blaine in the eyes, his own full of melancholy.

It stunned Blaine into silence. He gave up trying to fight him. He would always do what Kurt said and he would always go with him when he asked. Always. That was Kurt's power. "Where do you want to go?"

"My place? I'm home alone." When Blaine answered with a look that showed pain, Kurt added sheepishly, "I could use the company. I've never been good staying alone in that house." When they got to Kurt's car, Blaine's expression hadn't changed. Clearly he had misinterpreted Kurt's intentions. "What are you thinking?"

"You have this power over me that makes me never able to say no to you and you know it. You use it against me all the time and for reasons I don't understand, I keep running back to you, only to be used as a place to stick your dick into and then insult."

"That's not what you are to me and that's not why I'm asking you to come to my house. I don't want to fuck you."

"So, I'm no good to you anymore?" he asked hastily, not knowing why Kurt wanted him around in the first place. If Blaine wasn't there to be taken advantage of physically, then why was he there at all?

"No! Blaine…!" He hit the steering wheel with the heel of his hand, angry at himself. "That's not what I meant. I meant I didn't take you away from that guy and invite you to my place because I only wanted to have sex. I took you away from him because I was disgusted with what I saw and I asked you to come with me because I need to tell you something."

"What you saw was me doing what you do all the time."

"I know! And that's what disgusts me. _I_ disgust me. Don't you get it? This life. The casual hook-ups, the not caring who I hook up with… I don't want that for you. You're too good for it. You deserve more. You deserve to be made love to and not fucked or randomly jerked off in a teacher's office. You're worth so much more than that."

"Then why did you do those things to me?"

"Because that's what _I _deserve. I'm not worth anything you gave me or let me do."

"How can you say that? Kurt, you can't possibly believe that about yourself."

"I believe it because it's true. I have never been with anyone, other than you, that has given a damn about me. For a long time now, I've come to believe that I'm only worth what someone would use me for. I've never really had any friends. The Warblers are great, but they not really _friends_ so to speak. They're not as tight as they appear, but that's besides the point. I'm getting off track. What I'm trying to say is that you were right about something happening to me to change everything. I hate myself. I fuck up everything and the only time I ever felt good about myself was the day I met you."

"Why are you telling me all this now?"

Kurt gulped. That gnawing feeling was back again. He was going to say something that he somehow felt would ruin him when it was thrown in his face. He couldn't stop it this time and he couldn't push it back down. The rims of his eyes became wet and he gulped again. "Because I'm in love with you."

Blaine thought that if Kurt had ever told him that he was in love with him again that he would be elated and it would be a time of joy, except this wasn't what was happening. "Why don't we go back to your house and we can talk about this more."

He didn't expect Blaine to return his sentiment and he certainly didn't believe that he deserved it, what with everything he put Blaine through, but a complete change of subject was not even on his radar. His heart, for the first time ever, truly shattered.

The ride to Kurt's house was completely silent. No one said a word. Kurt bit his lip so hard that he thought that he must have drawn blood. He hadn't, but the thought was there. He parked the car and he tried to swallow what little saliva he had, but the amount was so minute that it failed to moisten any part of his mouth or throat.

Blaine followed him to the front door. "Kurt, wait." He covered Kurt's hand with his own as Kurt put his key in the lock. "I spent this entire ride trying to figure out what to say to you."

"And?"

The warm honey eyes of Blaine's looked deeply into Kurt's and let out a breath. His previous bitchy austere was now gone. Normal Blaine was back. "Why now? Why do you love me now? Or did you love me all along and never wanted to tell me?"

"Always." His voice broke and he sounded tired. "I always loved you, Blaine. From the second I saw you in the hallway I knew it."

For a minute, they stared at each other without words. "I hate you," Blaine finally said, his proverbial heart at war.

"I know."

"But I love you too." Kurt's eyes went wide and the moisture dried up, making the white parts instantly pink. "Didn't you hear me? I said 'I love you too.'"

It wasn't regret that kept Kurt silent, it was the shock. This whole time he truly thought that Blaine hated him; that maybe Kurt had been too good at his initial intent to make Blaine dislike him and he may have ruined his chances. "I-" he said breathily. Immediately, his instinct was to deny himself what he truly wanted. "I don't deserve you."

Blaine's face tightened and his lips pressed together. He had heard this excuse too many times for it to make what was happening okay. "I knew it. I knew you would do-" Kurt's lips were on his now, unmoving, but sure of his intentions.

"I want you. Not just sexually, I want all of you. I love you and I'm going against every ounce of instinct that I have to tell you that instead of saying something to make you run again. I'm not good for you and I don't deserve you, but that still doesn't stop me from wanting you."

Blaine sighed, tired and exhausted of his constant game. His rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You're not a bad person. I know who you are. Your actions don't resemble your heart. You tell me to do a lot of things and I've obeyed all but one of them."

"Which one was that?"

Blaine inched closer, trying to change Kurt's negativity. "To stay away."

Kurt smiled a real smile for the first time in days and closed the gap between them by pressing his lips to Blaine's.

* * *

**Please review!**

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**The next chapter is almost finished. Hopefully that will be up within the next day or so. :) I really hope you're liking the turn this story is taking.**


	27. Chapter 27

**The night continues...**

**What has Kurt been keeping secret all along?**

**Warning for triggers.**

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**Chapter 27**

About twenty minutes after the emotional display on the front porch, Kurt and Blaine were sitting shoulder to shoulder on the floor in front of a fire that Kurt built. Their backs were up against the couch and their hands were entwined. Nothing was being said, they were merely being comfortable in each other's presence. It was something that Kurt was never really used to until now. It felt good to just _be_ together.

"Can I ask you a question?" Blaine asked. There was something still on his mind. Something that he'd wanted to know for months now.

"Anything."

"Why do you feel like you're not worth my love?"

"Because it's too perfect for me to deserve." Kurt's voice was as straightforward and blank as his stare. It was so matter-of-fact that it made Kurt sound like it was something Blaine should have known already.

"How could you possibly think that?" It still left Blaine flabbergasted hearing that from Kurt; self confident, I-don't-care-about-what-anyone-thinks, Kurt.

"Well, to quote The Perks of Being a Wallflower 'We accept the love we think we deserve.'"

"But why do you think that?" Blaine was turned to Kurt now, his expression probing and caring.

"_That_ is a long story, my love." He was smiling, but it was more of an avoidance to answer the question than anything.

"We have all night. I'm sure I can stay awake for it." Whatever Kurt had to say, Blaine felt that it was big enough for Kurt to want to hide from everyone for so long. It had to be huge. Whatever the magnitude and whatever the story, Blaine was going to be there for Kurt.

Kurt sighed, knowing that if his relationship with Blaine was ever to sustain itself, he'd have to work on changing himself for the better. Part of that would be to be honest. He couldn't expect Blaine to be completely honest with him if he wasn't with Blaine. Where to start? There was a long list of things that contributed to Kurt's dismal outlook on life and himself. He decided to start with the beginning of the end, which was at a time when Kurt hit a crossroads in his life. It wasn't when bullying started because that happened all through elementary and middle school. No, this a time in his life when he was taught that love was just a game for fools. "When I was a freshman, I went to a school outside of Columbus, not too far from here. A Senior, Mason," Kurt's face was looking into the fire, instead of at Blaine. His eyes were blank, like he was looking into his memories instead of the flames. "…He was my first boyfriend. Actually, he was my first everything. By then, I knew I was gay, but I was too afraid to tell anyone, but that didn't matter because other people thought they knew anyway. That didn't stop them from taunting me. Then Mason, this extremely cut jock took a shine to me. To this day, I still don't know why he picked me. He went out of his way to make me blush. By the time we kissed for the first time in the locker room showers, I thought I was going to combust from happiness because the hottest guy in school picked me. I was a silly little freshman and he wanted _me._ Can you imagine how that felt?"

"Yeah," Blaine replied with his eyebrows up. Kurt broke his stare with the flames and looked to Blaine There was an eerie parallel to the beginning of Kurt's story and the beginning of Blaine and Kurt's drama saga. "I know exactly how that feels… because of you."

Kurt smiled and kissed Blaine on the forehead. He let go of Blaine's hand and put his arm around Blaine, pulling him close enough so Blaine rested his head on his chest. "It wasn't long before things got intimate. Jesus, I was nervous." The memory provoked an interesting humor that made Kurt snort. "The first time we did anything was in his car. We'd go parking in the middle of nowhere and go at it. I thought I was falling in love with him." With all humor gone now because as he compared his past to how he felt about Blaine, there was no comparison. Kurt continued, "I know now that it wasn't love, but I was new to everything, so that's what I thought. We got too comfortable. His friends and other popular kids started to get suspicious and he even got a girlfriend to make it seem like he was straight." He went silent and bit his lower lip, worrying it.

"Then what happened?"

Kurt's smile was long gone and Blaine didn't miss the slight quiver in his lips as he remembered more. "Mason's girlfriend went through his phone and saw text messages from me. She confronted him about it and, of course, he denied everything, but by then the damage was done and the suspicion was back on him. When word got around to his friends they badgered him and pushed him around. They told him to prove that he wasn't with me."

"How could he do that?" Blaine was engrossed in Kurt's story.

"They said that the only way they'd believe he wasn't a fag would be if he beat one up." Kurt took a shaky breath, recalling the nightmare. "He asked 'which one?' and they dragged him out to the courtyard, where I was studying."

Blaine broke out of Kurt's arms and stared, frightened at what he was about to hear. "No. Tell me that nothing happened."

"I can't. I'd be lying if I told you that." They looked into each other's eyes, both sets turning red. Kurt turned his face back to the fire and continued in a calm, yet tentative voice. "He stared at me before it happened like he was sorry. He felt he _had _to do this because he would rather hurt me than out himself. I knew that I couldn't outrun them and I certainly couldn't overpower them, so…" His voice was wet. It was obvious that a lump was in Kurt's throat and had no plans of being swallowed down. Blaine put a hand on Kurt's thigh, squeezing it to show support. "…I just stood there and took it." Kurt wiped his right eye with the back of his hand before a tear was able to run. His voice changed, trying to stay strong. He thought about this day and other days so many times, but he hadn't said everything out loud in years. "But the one thing I was adamant with myself about was to look him in the eyes, while he did it, for as long as I could. In the long run I think that made it worse because every time he looked me back in the eyes, he'd lose it even more. It was like he snapped. Something inside him was set off and he just was crazy. I blacked out and I woke up in the hospital later that day. I was told that if the custodian hadn't pulled him off me, he might have killed me."

"Kurt…" Blaine whispered softly. He had tears in his eyes now. There weren't any words for what happened to this boy.

Wiping a couple stray tears falling down his cheeks, Kurt recalled waking up. "This smile that you said was perfect." He gestured with a single finger. "Rebuilt. Mason broke my jaw and a few teeth. He broke my jaw and a couple ribs, cracked a couple more, _shattered_ my radius and my carpal bones in my left hand; I still can't make a complete fist. I can close, but not squeeze." He demonstrated and, sure enough, Kurt could only close his fingers flat onto the heel of his left hand. "He broke my glasses on my face and the lens scratched my eye. I needed surgery for that."

"You wear glasses?"

Kurt smiled through his grimness. "I got contacts after everything healed up." His spare frames were in a case in his desk, but doesn't remember ever having worn them.

"Did any one stop him? Mason?" It wasn't Blaine's intention to pry, but knowing Kurt and seeing the way he looks now, he never would have guessed something so horrific could have possibly ever happened. He didn't have a scar anywhere on his face or body. If he did, Blaine would have known because if there was one thing Blaine knew well, it was every inch of Kurt's body.

Getting back to the story, Kurt swallowed hard. "All his friends got probation for watching and not intervening. The worst part was that the ring leader got nothing because he got a plea bargain for telling. He spoke first, so he got the plea."

"And Mason?"

"He's currently serving year three of a four year sentence for aggravated assault. Then he is on probation and community service for two more years and owes $4,000 in fines. My dad wanted him convicted for attempted murder, but that didn't hold seeing as how he didn't intend to murder me. They ruled it a crime of passion because he was in a sudden fit of rage. His only defense was that he was under the influence of a mob. Like he was brainwashed and in a cult because he was a sheep in a heard and didn't want to be the outcast. Needless to say, it didn't hold. He was seventeen, but they charged him as an adult."

Blaine was gaping now. Now he knew why Kurt looked so innocent and scared whenever he was pushed around. Now Blaine knew why Kurt cried after their fight. It was possibly a form of post traumatic stress that stayed with Kurt because he never properly dealt with it. He couldn't imagine Kurt's perfect skin maimed or him helpless at all. It tortured him to think of the story being told. It was monstrous. He thought Kurt was finished with his story, but it only got worse from there.

"That's how I ended up at Dalton. They have a zero tolerance policy and my dad wanted to make sure that I was safe. By the time I was enrolled, I was completely healed and you never would have guessed I spent my spring and summer in surgeries, rehab, and therapy. My dad was surprisingly supportive of my sexuality. He made me promise that I'd keep it a secret because he was afraid that if I were taunted, it would send me back into a depression.

When I got there, I was terrified to talk to anyone at first. I kept to myself and ate in teachers' classrooms because I was afraid of the large crowds of boys. I'd have nightmares of all of them turning on me and becoming my own personal lynch mob."

"But… the Warblers?"

"They didn't come into my life until Junior Year. The difference between Sophomore and Junior year is like night and day. It took months for me to gain enough confidence to even assert myself to the point where people noticed my existence. Then Junior year came, I changed my attitude, and I was suddenly Mr. Popular. I got into the Warblers, I brought the school trophies and medals for the swim and diving teams, I got near perfect marks, and my father was running for congress; pretty much every guy wanted to either be my friend or my boyfriend. Guys threw themselves at me just to be noticed. I'd never experienced power like that before."

"So things got better?"

"Publicly, yeah."

"And privately?"

Kurt's jaw clenched. "It's amazing what happens to a person's confidence when someone is doting on them and treating them like God's gift. See, when you bond with someone and they build you up, you start to rely on them for everything. And when your body is being worshipped like you really are God's gift, you start to look around at people and wonder if they have as much sex as you. It's a point of pride really because you think of it in terms of 'how much am I loved versus how much are they loved.' When you start to think that way, it becomes easier to see yourself as better than everyone else."

"That's awful."

"That's how I met Mr. Malloy." He paused again, this time biting his lip, hate visible in his eyes, instead of crying.

Clouds cleared in Blaine's brain and was able to put the information he knew of the convicted teacher together with the one sentence Kurt said. He was only guessing, but he knew he was right.

"You asked how I knew that Mr. Malloy always keeps his office door unlocked?" He stopped, tightening his lips into a flat line.

"Oh, Kurt. Tell me he didn't."

"He knew about what happened in my last school because he went digging. Someone who acted like I did would definitely have a story. There were endless strings of compliments and emotional support. Eventually he started giving me gifts, small ones at first, then big ones later. I wanted to go to Canada once just to see what it was like. He booked the hotel room and had it paid in full for me and a few friends. I didn't even ask! Anything I wanted or said that I liked, it was magically appear to me within a week. He spoiled me." Blaine was silent and had to remind himself to breathe because he knew what part was coming. "I slept with him and fooled around with him because he made me think that he actually cared about me, loved me even. It was like _I_ was brainwashed. When I found out that there were others, he told me that if I loved him, I'd let him watch while I was with each of them, sometimes more than one at a time. Not just other guys, girls too." He paused again, this time to chew on the side of his cheek in an attempt to hold in his anger. "It took me a long time to realize that it wasn't love. He didn't love me and I didn't love him. It's was obedience and control. He was in control and I obeyed like a trained animal," Kurt said through gritted teeth.

"Please tell me this whole story ends with that sick fuck being in jail." Blaine put his hand gently on top of Kurt's. He didn't know if he could handle listening to Kurt expelling more torturous pain being done to him.

Kurt responded with a half hearted half smile. "Yeah. It does. You saw the news. He'll be serving multiple life sentences for multiple counts. He got caught and I got pulled from the school. I spent my summer in my dad's tire shop and then met you at McKinley last Fall."

"Being in court again must have been awful."

"I didn't go… I never came forward with my charges."

Blaine looked at the boy next to him with shock and disbelief. "What?! Why?"

Shame clouded Kurt's face. He knew keeping a secret this big was wrong in so many ways, but after a long time of keeping it and telling himself that it wasn't wrong, it didn't stop Kurt from snapping his excuse out at Blaine. "Because I knew he was going to jail forever anyway and he'd still rot in jail for what he did to me and everyone else with or without my story." An apologetic look instantly showed on Kurt's face. He didn't want to yell at Blaine the way he had. Blaine was understanding because he had no idea what Kurt must be feeling because Blaine never had worry about things the way Kurt had. He'd never come close to experiencing the horrific things Kurt did. Kurt breathed deeply and evened out his mind. This time he was able to continue without snapping. "Mostly I kept quiet about it because I didn't want to see a certain look on my dad's face again. I didn't want to hurt him and he was running for congress at the time. It didn't want to derail any of that for him."

"But, Kurt, he wouldn't have been mad at you. He loves you. I'm one hundred percent positive that you mean more to him than a political race."

"I know that, but that was the one thing he ever did for himself. It meant so much to him. We had finally gotten over the whole Mason thing and gotten back to a normal home life. We were father and son again. After Mason, I always felt like I was weak. I didn't even try to fight back. My dad- He's so strong, inside and out. I'm not my father's son. I'm more like my mother. I've always felt that letting myself get bashed was disappointing to him. I thought if I told him about this, then it would be one more thing to make him see me as weak. The case didn't need me to put Mr. Malloy away and throw away the key. I don't regret sparing myself and Dad from that experience. What I regret, was letting myself be sucked into it to begin with. I feel like I should have known."

"Kurt!" Blaine stopped him and threw his arms around the boy he loved so much. When he let go, he held Kurt's face and looked at him hard. "Those things are NOT your fault. You didn't deserve any of that happening to you. You are a good person and despite what you think, surviving all of that, you are one of the strongest people I have ever met. You don't let anyone push you around. You took one step into McKinley and owned that entire school with your strength."

"No I didn't. They were scared of me because of who my father is."

"Not true. You saw me and it took a minute flat before you stood up to the biggest bullies in the school just to protect someone you didn't even know. You didn't see you. I saw you. You were not weak. You were strong and _they _were afraid of _you_."

"I love you. So much."

"I love you." Blaine lunged back at Kurt, wrapping his arms around him again. "It wasn't your fault."

"I know."

"No you don't. You're still trying to figure out a way to see if you could have gotten yourself out before it started, when in reality it was HIM that shouldn't have abused his power and took advantage of young boys."

"I know."

"No, you don't."

"No, I do know. I've relieved every moment many times, but I still see things both ways. I know what he did was wrong, but I get on myself about it because I should have known better too. It's hard to explain to you and it's hard for you to understand because you don't know what it feels like to have been through something like that. One day I'll see it your way, but until then I have to learn to love myself enough to know that I was just a kid who was preyed upon and there was nothing else I could have done because I was a _kid._"

Blaine knew there were no words to say at the moment. He was trying to process everything. Strangely, he felt crying more than Kurt did. He didn't want to imagine someone hurting Kurt and more than anything he didn't want Kurt to not love himself. He had some misgivings, but Kurt was good and good people don't deserve what Kurt went through.

"It's strange though, knowing how I should see things, and then feeling something different."

"You don't love yourself?" The fact alone that he had to ask that question made Blaine want to cry.

"When I remember that deep down, I used to be a lot like you, I like myself, but every other time… No. I don't love myself. I hate who I am."

Blaine wanted to ask why, but he already knew why. Kurt spent the better part of an hour telling him why. "I was wondering how your story could get any worse and you just told me how."

Kurt huffed a laugh. He actually laughed! The corners of his mouth turned up. "It's not as depressing as you think. In a perfect world, none of this would have happened, I'd be straight, and I wouldn't even have to ask myself if I loved myself. But believe me when I say that out of all of this, I'm actually proud of myself for liking who I am deep down. Putting love aside, the fact that I liked myself even a little made me able to survive this. I don't think I could bare it if I didn't have some shred of self affection. One day, I'll have a moment where I'll know that I'm ready to move on and start trying to love myself again." He paused. "I know this because every moment I've been with you has lead me to thinking that."

"It has?"

"Yes. I actually need to thank you. I see where I was emotionally and mentally at the beginning of this year and where I am now. If it weren't for you- well- Just- Thank you for loving me and not giving up on me. I know it wasn't easy."

"You don't have to thank me."

"Yes, I do. I need thank you because I think that you loved me enough to make me start to think I could love myself one day. If I can be capable of something as beautiful as real love for a beautiful person like you, then I can be capable of much more. You'll never know what that means to me."

A smiled spread across Blaine's face. Leave it to Kurt Hummel to know how to turn the most depressing thing Blaine had ever heard into a positive conversation. He was so in love with the boy in front of him. He crawled into Kurt's lap, straddling him, and wrapped Kurt up in his arms once again.

Kurt closed his eyes and let out a soft breath. He rested the side of his face against Blaine's chest. "This feels nice," he murmured. Blaine replied with an agreeing noise.

Hours passed and Kurt told Blaine everything about everything. They cried together and held each other as Kurt recounted stories that he never told anyone. Things started to fall into place and now little things made sense to Blaine that hadn't before. All those times Kurt said "Some day, I'll tell you, but not today," that day came and explained everything.

The boy that made Kurt freak out on their first date at the arcade was a freshman when Kurt had slept with him because he was told to. He remembered the boy looking much younger than fourteen at the time and it made Kurt want to vomit back then and now as he remembered it. He begged Mr. Malloy not to make him do it, but the teacher said, "If you love me, you'll do this for me." So Kurt did as he was told.

Then there was Hunter Carrington…

"Remember at the fencing tournament a few weeks ago when he looked at me and told me that he did me a favor?" Blaine nodded. "He was the one who walked in on me and Mr. Malloy."

"You were the one?" It was common knowledge now that Hunter had walked in on Mr. Malloy with another student, but that student's name was never released. "How was it possible that you missed out on court if you were the one caught?"

"I begged and pleaded not to turn me in." He licked his lips and shrugged his shoulders. "He said that what Mr. Malloy was doing was wrong and illegal and belonged in jail. I knew that he wasn't going to let it go, so I cut him a deal. I paid him off and gave him the time and place to catch someone else with him. I told him where he could find video tapes of other people and even a journal that Mr. Malloy kept. I gave him everything he needed to know; all in exchange to make my name and my face disappear from all of it. I did my part and he did his."

"He did you a favor…" Blaine's voice was off somewhere, but recalled what Hunter said that day at the tournament.

Four o'clock rolled around and the coals in the fire were barely red. Kurt put them out completely somewhere around five in the morning and they moved to the back patio with blankets and hot tea to watch the sun rise. Kurt had to admit that it was nice to just be with someone without trying to get in their pants and being around Blaine made him start to heal. He felt something he never felt before. He felt what real love was and it was better than anything else. Blaine didn't love Kurt for what Kurt could give him or do to or for him, but because he was Kurt. It made things exceedingly light. He never wanted these moments to end because he wanted to stay in their little bubble of silence and comfort forever.

They cuddled on the patio bench with the blankets wrapped around them, sipping their tea, and listening to each other's heartbeats. The sun came up and they didn't know what time it was, but Blaine was yawning. "Bed time?" Kurt asked with his lips against Blaine's forehead.

"Are you tired?"

"Exhausted."

"When does your dad come home?"

"Thursday night."

"That long?"

"Yeah. He was busy with work this weekend, so he caught a flight back today, well yesterday since it's Sunday, I guess." He smiled down at Blaine's head in his lap, stroking his neck and cheek absently.

"Looks like we have all day then." Blaine smiled. "Unless you're kicking me out."

Kurt laughed softly. "Never. I was hoping you'd stay with me for the rest of the weekend."

Blaine cocked an eyebrow up. This was a new thing for him and Kurt. He was used to being insulted and pushed away. "You mean, you want to play house with me?"

"Can we not call it that?" he asked with a smirk. "Baby steps, Blaine."

He yawned again. "Come on. Your bed is calling and I don't want to miss it."

They slept well into the day and it was mid afternoon by the time they both woke up. Blaine had woken up first and found Blaine curled up against his chest. He'd waited a long time for this version of Kurt to make himself known. The longer he laid there and stroked Kurt's hand over his chest, the more he thought about how last night he was sure that he hated Kurt Hummel. Now he's openly saying he loves him and being oddly domestic. The more he thought, the more he felt that it wasn't right.

"Kurt, I need to talk to you about something," Blaine proposed while they ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in the kitchen.

"Are you going to tell me your deepest secrets, too?" Kurt smiled, but it was only meant to make a dark situation light.

"If I had any, I would tell you, but no, that's not what I wanted to talk about."

"Then what is it?"

"I wanted to talk about us. I've waited a long time to finally get where we are right now."

Kurt nodded his head. "I know you have. I can never be more sorry for putting you through that."

"And I forgive you. I understand now. It wasn't right, but I understand. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think we should take things slow. Really slow."

"Slow how?"

"Like to the point where maybe we should take a step back."

"I don't understand. We love each other and we both have wanted to be together. We've been through hell just to have what he do at this moment."

"Yes, I know, and that's why I think we should step back for a while. I love you so much, but we have put each other through so much and one night of talking isn't going to solve all out problems. I'm a mess."

"I'm a disaster."

"I want to be there for you every minute. I want to be there to support you and be your friend. You have a lot of healing to do. Having a boyfriend isn't going to help with that because you need to focus on your healing."

"I think I've focused on myself for far too long now, don't you think?"

"I think you'd been hiding yourself. You need to do right by you. So, for now, I think we should be friends and re-learn how to be around each other."

"Are there benefits involved?"

"Yes, but not the sexual kind. We'll be proper friends and I will be here for you whenever you need me. When you're ready; really ready, not just wanting it, we can see where we're at and go from there."

"So, no sex?"

"No sex, no kissing, no anything, Kurt. This isn't going to be hard for just you, you know. I will want to kiss you and tell you I love you every second of the day, but I'm going to refrain because it'll mean so much more when you're ready to love yourself enough to love someone else too."

"I don't like this."

"I know, but I think it will be for the best. Whenever you feel the need to run over to Scandals, call me. I don't care what time. I'll come over and we'll work through your feelings together. Whenever you have a sleepless night because you can't get images or thoughts out of your head, call me. Any time, any day, any cause: call me. I'll be here."

A fight ensued, but in the end, Kurt relented because he knew that Blaine was right. Somehow, the argument made Kurt happy. They did fight so well together, after all.

It was hard for the following week because Kurt struggled with wanting to call Blaine to come over, redeeming the offer Blaine gave to come over when he felt the lonely feeling to help him through, but he didn't want to take advantage when Blaine was doing something so selfless. Kurt just wanted to be close to him, that's all. Spending one night with him in his arms was enough to make Kurt want to do that every night for the foreseeable future.

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**If you can believe it, I've been keeping Kurt's story in this entire time. The only one who knew was my beta. I know a lot of you tried to guess, but no one guessed that it was a series of things that happened to Kurt. One person guessed the teacher and one one guessed being beaten up. **

**Anyway, I hope that was worth the wait, yet also no too depressing. I tried to end the chapter on a good note for Klaine and I hope everyone is happy with Blaine's choice to not jump into anything until they were really ready for it.**

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: Grace-Ryan**


	28. Chapter 28

**Sorry this took a month to get out! I went on vacation and then I got so busy with work and life that I let this get away from me :( Please forgive me? Pretty Please?**

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**Chapter 28**

On Blaine's last official week at McKinley, Mr. Shuester proclaimed the week's theme to be Goodbye Part One. He said that the seniors were leaving and Blaine's early graduation was a reminder that the rest of the seniors weren't far behind him. Basically, since Blaine was the only one that needed to say goodbye, all the songs were from the glee club to him.

On Monday, Mr. Shuester sang Forever Young as a tribute to all of the seniors and that was it for songs for the day because everyone else went their own way to pick out songs to sing. Blaine did the same because his challenge was to sing a song to the rest of the glee club.

On Tuesday, Finn sang Not The End, a particularly moving song that really touched Blaine's heart. Finn was their leader, but he rarely paid much attention to Blaine because Blaine's ideas were frequently better than his and Blaine was the one who did most of the song arrangements. He ended the song and hugged Blaine saying that even though they had their differences, Finn always knew that Blaine was the more talented one. Blaine almost teared up.

Sam asked Blaine if he wouldn't mind doing a duet with him and Blaine happily agreed. He was supposed to hang out with Kurt after glee club, but Kurt understood and said that they'd hang out the next day. Sam picked out Heroes for their duet, which Blaine wondered about because he wasn't sure where the goodbye part came in and Sam surprised him by explaining that the song was about looking forward and being the best you could be. Again, Blaine almost teared up. Sam had that much confidence in him. They worked on the duet straight through dinner time and around ten o'clock at night, just as Blaine was pulling into his driveway, he got a call from Kurt.

"Hey, you." Blaine smiled into the air as he answered the phone. His smile quickly went away when he heard Kurt practically gasping for air.

"Blaine…"

"Hey. Kurt. Calm down. What's wrong?"

"I need you." The desperateness to his voice made it sound like he was bleeding to death.

Blaine turned right around and got back into his car. "Okay. I'll be right there. I'm in my car now. Stay right where you are and don't do anything. I'll be there in ten minutes."

"O-okay."

The car couldn't go fast enough. He pulled into the driveway and ran to the front door. When he put his hand up to knock on the door, slam would have been a better word because he was so worried, the door flew open and Kurt's arms were around his neck.

"H-hey," Blaine tried to sooth, rubbing Kurt's back. "It's okay. I'm here."

"It's him," he cried. "Mason."

"He's here?!" Blaine pulled back and held Kurt's arms, looking him seriously in the face.

"N-no," he sniffled.

"Let's go inside." They went into the living room and sat on the couch. "So, what about Mason?"

Kurt got up and went over to a table near the window with a stack of mail on it. He picked up a folded sheet of paper off from the floor and brought it back to Blaine. It was a letter, the official kind, saying that Mason Redwood was being released from prison early.

Blaine read it three times in its entirety because he wanted to make sure he was understanding it properly. It said that a combination of good behavior, rehabilitation, and overcrowding were parts of the decision. Blaine scoffed angrily. _How can they say to the person he nearly beat to death that Mason had good behavior?_ "Kurt, it looks like his community service hours were upped drastically, his probationary sentence was elongated, and he isn't allowed within five hundred feet of you."

"That's supposed to make me feel better?" The lithe teen was shaking. He never looked more like a young boy than he did right at that moment.

"No." Blaine knew it was the wrong thing to say. He hadn't meant to say it as a comforting point, only as informative. "I'm sorry." He put the letter down on the empty side of the couch and held Kurt's hands. "I don't know how to make you feel better about this because I can't stop it from happening. I was hoping that it would help give a little bit of perspective."

"Perspective?"

"Yeah. I mean, Mason will probably move back to his parent's house, right? Because he probably doesn't have anywhere else to go. And that's not near here. You won't even have to see him or worry about running into him."

"I know. I know." The skinny teen was trying to calm himself by breathing deeply. He really did know what Blaine was saying to be true, but that wasn't what had him hyperventilating.

Blaine leaned over and put his arms around Kurt's waist. "I'm sorry."

"Thank you for being here."

"I told you I would be." It was important to Blaine to let Kurt know that he was following up on his promises. He wanted to keep them all and it really did mean a lot to him that Kurt called Blaine because three weeks ago, Kurt would already be at Scandals searching for someone to assuage his fears in the backroom with his clothes off.

"I guess I'm just expecting you not to be."

"Why?"

"Every person I thought I was in love with isn't in my life anymore. I want to believe everything you say, but experience and fear is telling me that you're going to disappear."

Blaine gave Kurt a hopeful smile. It wasn't large, but it meant a lot more than its size. "I'm not going to disappear."

Kurt leaned forward and grasped the clothes on Blaine back, letting himself be hugged back and comforted, while he sobbed uncontrollably into Blaine's neck.

Blaine said nothing while Kurt cried. He just held him close, rubbed his back, and let him cry. He remembered Joe telling him once that he and Kurt rarely say anything to each other because it's better to sit in silence than to help rationalize in times of pain. He hoped that doing this same thing would help Kurt in the same way. His heart was breaking for him. As if he wasn't going through enough right now, now Kurt had to deal with this.

It wasn't that Kurt hadn't made peace with what happened with Mason because he kind of had, that made him so upset. It was the memory of the fact that someone he loved could hurt him so fully and then not have to pay their full sentence for it. It made him wonder if they could do the same thing for Mr. Malloy. Since Kurt was the only one that hadn't testified against him, would the ex teacher ever come looking for him? _No, _Kurt thought once he was able to get his crying under control. _He was sentenced to multiple life sentences for all his acts. Mr. Malloy was never getting out, no matter how 'good' he is._

The time old feeling was brimming now. The bad feeling. The one that Kurt quenched with random sex partners. He'd been working so hard not to favor it, but right now, especially right now, he was finding it hard to do… and Blaine was right there. Blaine was the only person he wanted after all. What harm would it do? He could feel close to Blaine and momentarily forget about his pain. Only good could come of this, right? His lips found their way to a soft spot on Blaine's neck because his face was already there.

At first Blaine didn't register what Kurt was doing. He thought Kurt was just pressing his mouth to his skin to hold in more cries. It was only when Kurt's lips began to move and start to suction to his most sensitive spots on his neck that Blaine knew what was happening. His eyes went wide with realization and he recoiled some, only enough to look Kurt in the face, but not enough to let him go. "Whoa. Whoa," he said gently. "Kurt, please, don't. You don't want this."

Kurt looked hurt. Rejection didn't suit him. "Yes, I do. And you do too." He tried to move forward again to plant more kisses on the shorter teen. "You always want me. You said so yourself." Blaine's strength was being tried because Kurt didn't care that Blaine was trying to hold him back.

"Please stop. You promised me we wouldn't do this until we were ready."

"I'm ready. Come on." Kurt was somehow able to maneuver himself closer as Blaine was continuing to lean back. His lips found Blaine's, but it wasn't a romantic action. It was needing and one sided because Blaine wasn't kissing him back.

"I'm not."

"We'll do anything you want. I just want you."

"Kurt, stop. Don't." Blaine had never felt less like being intimate with someone because nothing about what Kurt was doing was romantic, sexy, or even remotely okay and he wasn't stopping. Now Blaine was on his back on the couch, not knowing how he was overpowered enough to get this way, and trying to fight Kurt off without hurting him or completely throwing him to the ground. That wouldn't help either. Seeing as how this started over Mason, roughness was really unnecessary at the moment. He had his hands clenched around Kurt's tiny wrists and pushing them down so that Kurt couldn't continue to try to hold him down and paw at Blaine's buttons, but that only made it worse because the lower he pushed, the more Kurt thought that Blaine was trying to get him to focus on his very limp and unaroused cock. He was shouting by the time Kurt started to thrust against him and palm Blaine's non-inflated bulge. Blaine was starting to panic because Kurt wasn't stopping and Blaine didn't want this. Kurt's grip and forcefulness was hurting and Blaine's proverbial heart was breaking for both himself and Kurt. "Stop! Kurt! Stop! Stop!" His strength got the better of him and he accidentally pushed Kurt too harshly across the sofa.

Both boys were breathing heavily and despite Blaine being the one that was being pawed at, Kurt was the one who looked more hurt. He looked so innocent and guilty at the same time. He knew instantly that what he did was wrong and was sorry, but didn't know how to get the words out so that Blaine would understand.

But Blaine did understand. If it were any other time or any other person, Blaine would be rushing out the door, having just been molested, but he didn't feel that way. He knew that wasn't Kurt's intent. Hurting Blaine wasn't Kurt's intent. Making his own pain go away was the purpose of trying to get with Blaine.

"I'm going to go get you some water," Blaine said, filling the silence, and left the room. He wanted to apologize for practically throwing Kurt off of him, in case it hurt him physically or mentally, but wasn't positive on how to do that. He was afraid that Kurt might have been reminded of being beaten up by Mason and that was the last thing he wanted. In the kitchen, he collected two glasses and filled them with ice and water. When he got back to the living room, Kurt was curled up on the couch, knees up to his chin, and rocking.

"Here," Blaine offered gently, handing Kurt the glass and sitting close to him.

Kurt took the glass and sipped it, not looking at Blaine because he couldn't bring himself to face the person he just attacked. "I just want this feeling to go away," he cried. "I don't want to feel like this anymore. Blaine, I'm so sorry."

"Why don't we skip the apologies because I know we're both sorry."

"What are you sorry for?" Kurt coughed out.

"I didn't mean to push you that hard."

The taller boy finally turned to look at Blaine, his face full of disbelief. "You're sorry that you pushed me?! Blaine, I almost ripped your clothes off, while you were telling me to stop. You were defending yourself. I'm-" His lip started to tremble. "I'm a monster. I almost-" His eyes were red now and burning. The words couldn't leave him lips.

"I don't believe you would have really done that. It was a mistake and this isn't easy for you."

"I'm-" Kurt's lip was trembling again and his eyes watered. "Blaine, I'm so sorry!"

The reaction was almost instantaneous. Blaine scooched closer and put his arm around Kurt again and pulled him in once more so Kurt could rest his head on Blaine's shoulder or chest.

Kurt sobbed and cried for what seemed like an hour. All the tears that he never shed over the years were making themselves known that they should have been long gone and weren't. Blaine's mother had called and Blaine convinced her that Kurt needed help studying and Mr. Hummel said it would be alright if he spent the night. Blaine knew that Kurt was in no condition to be left alone and it would be over his dead body that anyone would separate either one right now. Begrudgingly, his mother agreed and said that she expected a phone call in the morning.

The two spoke long into the night. These late night conversations were beginning to become a thing and they weren't unwelcome to Blaine, no matter how tired he was. He knew the importance of Kurt talking and somehow, through the awful recollections Kurt had that made Blaine want to throw up, they were growing closer and closer. By three in the morning, both boys had fallen asleep on the couch, not having moved from their space more than a few times to get food, drinks, or go to the bathroom. Blaine laid flat on his back, with one leg hanging off the side of the cushions, while Kurt curled against his chest, laying on his stomach. It was a picture perfect moment as Blaine softly snored in contrast to Kurt's low breathing. For the first time all night, both boys looked at peace.

The next afternoon, after glee, Kurt asked Blaine to stay behind after everyone left. "I wanted to sing my song for this week's lesson, but it doesn't exactly fit the general theme."

"Okay," Blaine stated curiously. It was said with a sound to mean that he was listening and waiting for Kurt to continue.

"I mean, it does, sort of. Well, it's a perfect song from me to you while we end our old relationship and start out on our new one."

"What song is it?"

"If I Knew by Bruno Mars. I heard it and felt that it really hit close to home on how I felt towards you."

Blaine heard of the song, but hadn't really remembered ever listening to it.

"Can I sing it for you?"

"Of course." Blaine smiled and grabbed Mr. Shuester's stool and put it in the center of the classroom just for Kurt to sit on. Then he went and took a seat of his own, happy to encourage Kurt to leave his comfort zone.

"Wait." Kurt went and got another stool and put it next to the one Blaine put in place. "Come here. Sit closer." Blaine did as asked with a smile and faced Kurt, who cupped his hands.

When they were situated, Kurt took a deep breath and nodded to the band, who he had asked to stay behind as well.

**Oh oh oh I**

**I was a city boy**

**Right into dangers where I'd always run**

**A boy who had his fun**

**But I wouldn't have done all the things that I have done**

**If I knew one day you'd come**

**Naw baby, naw baby, naw baby**

**Oh oh I, I know it breaks your heart**

**To picture the only one you wanna love**

**In someone else's arms**

**But I wouldn't have done**

**All the things that I have done**

**If I knew one day you'd come**

**Naw baby, naw baby, naw baby**

**Oh baby please let's leave the past behind us**

**So that we can go where love will find us**

**It will find us**

**I know most guys would leave me**

**But I know that you believe me**

**Baby I… I wish we weren't seventeen**

**So I could give you all the innocence**

**That you give to me**

**No I wouldn't have done**

**All the things that I have done**

**If I knew one day you'd come**

**If I knew one day you'd come.**

Admittedly, Kurt's song choice was perfect for Kurt's feelings, Blaine knew that and he did believe every word and lyric change that Kurt made. It was designed with him in mind. Blaine wanted to ask about the song choice and the meaning behind it because the meaning could mean any number of things. It could mean that Kurt wanted to skip waiting for a relationship or that Blaine's friendship and mere presence meant so much to Kurt that he wished he could have changed everything he had done down to being with Mason just so they could have the relationship that they deserved to have together. To date, it was one of the nicest things Kurt had done for Blaine.

Blaine left his questions in his head because he didn't want to make things sound like he was going to rush Kurt into a relationship of sorts. They agreed to stay friends until Kurt was good and ready and not just because they were horny, emotional teenagers. Blaine would never dream of rushing through all that. Not to mention, he had things to get over himself. He had to get over letting himself get so obsessed with Kurt that he let his own self worth be compromised, if only for a day or two. Like Kurt, he had to love himself enough to allow someone else to love him too.

Unlike Blaine, however, Kurt could begin to love himself because he knew he was capable of loving Blaine. If he could love someone so inherently good, then Kurt thought he could love himself enough to know that loving Blaine was a good thing for his own heart. It was a skewed way of looking at things, but he didn't care because in the end, it would hopefully be Kurt and Blaine in their own world of perfect understanding and love. No one would be able to touch that.

Friday came and after all the songs were sung, Blaine raised his hand. "Mr. Shue? If it's okay, I'd like to say something."

"The floor is yours," the curly haired teacher said.

"I wanted to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for making my years here bearable. It wasn't until this year that I finally found my true strength when it came to dealing with the ones who tried to bring me down, but I still owe a huge thank you to all of you for supporting me over the years. I also want to give the biggest thank you to Kurt," Blaine paused and looked at Kurt directly. "Kurt, I was miserable and so many things that didn't match who I thought I was before I met you. That moment you came into my life is something I'll never forget. You saved me more than I can ever express to you. So… This song is for you." He smiled nervously, hoping that Kurt didn't mind being put on the spot and serenaded in front of everyone. Blaine pointed and winked at the band behind him.

**When life leaves you high and dry**

**I'll be at your door tonight if you need help, if you need help**

**I'll shut down the city lights,**

**I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bribe to make you well, to make you well**

**When enemies are at your door **

**I'll carry you way from more**

**If you need help, if you need help**

**Your hope dangling by a string**

**I'll share in your suffering to make you well, to make you well**

**Give me reasons to believe that you would do the same for me**

**And I would do it for you, for you**

**Baby I'm not moving on**

**I love you long after you're gone**

**For you, for you**

**You will never sleep alone**

**I love you long after you go**

**oh long after you're gone gone gone**

**When you fall like a statue**

**I'm gon' be there to catch you**

**Put you on your feet, you on your feet**

**And if your well is empty**

**Not a thing will prevent me**

**Tell me what you need, what do you need**

**I surrender honestly**

**You've always done the same for me**

**And I would do it for you, for you**

**Baby I'm not moving on**

**I love you long after you're gone**

**For you, for you**

**You would never sleep alone**

**I love you long after you're gone**

**And long after you're gone gone gone**

**You're my back bone, you're me cornerstone**

**You're my crutch when my legs stop moving**

**You're my head start, you're my rugged heart**

**You're the post that I've always needed**

**Like a drum baby don't stop beating**

**Like a drum baby don't stop beating**

**Like a drum baby don't stop beating**

**Like a drum my heart never stops beating**

**For you, for you**

**Baby I'm not moving on**

**I love you long after you're gone**

**For you, for you**

**You would never sleep alone**

**I love you long after you go**

**For you, for you**

**Baby I'm not moving on**

**I love you long after you're gone**

**For you, for you**

**You would never sleep alone**

**I love you long, long after you're gone**

**Like a drum baby don't stop beating**

**Like a drum baby don't stop beating**

**Like a drum baby don't stop beating**

**Like a drum my heart never stops beating for you**

**And long after you're gone gone gone**

**I love you long after you're gone gone gone**

By the end of the song, Kurt's eyes were red and welled with tears. He got up from his chair and embraced Blaine with every ounce of strength he had. "I didn't know you felt like that," he whispered for only Blaine to hear.

Blaine's face was tucked in close Kurt's neck. "I've always felt like that. Maybe one day you'll believe it." He knew that if Kurt hadn't known it by now, then he mostly certainly wouldn't have believed someone could feel that way about him. He wanted to tell him that he loved him; that he'd always love him, but telling each other those three words were not part of their agreement. He could wait until Kurt was ready and the moment was right. Then Blaine would say it a hundred times; a thousand times. He'd say it until he wore it out.

* * *

**Please review!**

**Tumblr: grace-ryan**

**Songs: Gone Gone Gone, by Philip Phillips**

**If I knew by Bruno Mars**


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

Since the night that Kurt started to tell Blaine what happened to him over the past three years, Kurt threw himself into telling Blaine the truth about everything. He told him about his mom and how she died. He talked about what he wanted to do after high school. On the worst days he would talk endlessly about the men he'd been with. Blaine hated those days because listening to some of the things Kurt did made him want to throw up, but he listened and didn't judge because Kurt needed him to. Even though Kurt already went to therapy, talking to Blaine, finally being honest to one person about absolutely everything, was the real therapy he needed.

Blaine went to D.C. every time Kurt went to see his father. It wasn't because Blaine didn't trust Kurt to not go to a bar or find some pretty thing to make out with or more. It was because Kurt didn't trust himself and being anywhere with Blaine was much sweeter than not. Kurt took to watching Blaine's boxing practices and dragged him off to a shopping spree whenever Blaine announced that he had an interview for a job, college, or internship. Kurt insisted that Blaine had to look the part and Blaine's closet was beginning to look more cluttered and full than usual with things that he was learning to wear and mix and match according to Kurt's taste.

On Blaine's insistence, in exchange for making him always do things that Kurt wanted, Kurt was forced to start taking karate classes while Blaine did. After about a week, he got into ninjutsu because he liked the look of a someone he saw practicing with sai swords. Blaine liked looking when Kurt doesn't see him. He'd never let Kurt know how funny and awkward he looked with weapons in his hands and failing miserably at using them. One day, Kurt would be better, but right now, he's just pitiful and it makes Blaine laugh.

There were nights when Kurt would call Blaine at two in the morning, crying because he felt worthless and disgusting. Then there were days when they would sit at a coffee shop or the sub shop next to the boxing gym Blaine went to and Kurt would sit in absolute silence. Blaine liked those days because when Kurt wasn't talking, he looked happy. He would sit on his end of the table and just stare in a way that Blaine swore Kurt's eyes sparkled or shimmered. They always did that when he was happy.

The best part, in Blaine's mind, was that Kurt never tried to make a move on Blaine since that night when he was almost attacked by a sobbing, hysterical Kurt. While Blaine would often look at Kurt and want to kiss him or stroke his cheek and know that Kurt felt the same way, Blaine knew that sex would not help either one of them right now. And they never said "I love you" either, though both of them knew how much of it was between them. They agreed to not say it until they were ready. Saying "I love you" brought on too many complications, they thought, because they weren't together and they weren't physically together either. They were friends. Best friends.

Blaine got a glowing character review as a college reference letter from Burt, as the state congressman, and knew that it was probably what got him into Berkley, but Kurt said that it was his talent for music composition and the fact that he was a nerd that got him in. Looking at Blaine show Burt his acceptance letter and seeing Burt hug his friend and, in many ways, his savior, he couldn't remember feeling so happy. He was genuinely happy and it had nothing to do with himself. He knew that had to be something special because he was finally getting out of his own head and being able to think of other people in a positive light. He didn't think about how hard it would be for him if he didn't get into a college near Blaine, or what he would do if he ever had to live without him. He only felt happy that Blaine was happy and finally getting something good in his life. He deserved it. That was the night Kurt decided he was ready. That _they_ might be ready.

The weather was warm now and Kurt and Blaine often spent a lot of time on a part of the roof of Kurt's house that was safe to hang out on because it was flat and you can climb out a window to go out there. They were lying there, watching the sky and waiting for shooting stars to pass and make wishes on, as the often did on nights like this. Kurt's heart was beating faster and faster. His arms were getting goosebumps. "Are you going to Prom?" he asked, still looking at the night sky with his hands behind his head.

Blaine chuckled. "I'm not a high school student anymore." As if that would be enough to answer with his body language the same as Kurt's. This time of night, everything was so silent. They would barely say anything and were often able to hear the other breathing. Neither one of them said so, but listening to the other's breaths was very calming and cathartic. It relaxed each other and both learned to meditate in these moments.

"I know, but you're still allowed to go. Just like you're allowed to walk at Graduation."

"Dances were never really my thing." What Blaine really meant was that dances were full of straight couples that got to be romantic with each other and Blaine would have been the only one not allowed to be himself or romancing a boy the way he wanted to without threats.

"But you dance so well." Kurt smiled and lolled his head to look at Blaine.

"Dancing at gay clubs and parties are not a good indicator of how well someone can dance because mostly it's just dry humping on the dance floor." He laughed again.

"What if I asked you to be my date?" He averted eye contact once more, though Blaine wasn't even looking at him, still looking for shooting stars. The teen who felt in recovery was feeling nervous and actually wondering if he'd be turned down. That was a new feeling. He used to just assume everyone would say yes because why wouldn't they, when the promise of sex was pretty much a given? Now that sex was off the table, as were most things with Blaine, he wondered what his answer would be. What did he have to offer the boy he grew to love?

Blaine sat up and turned to Kurt, knowing what this was. If it were as he hoped, this would be the first step of many very big steps. "Are you asking me?"

Kurt took a deep, shaky breath and turned to Blaine again. He sat up, crossed his legs, took another breath and then gently clasped his hands over the olive skinned boy, whose skin, liked Kurt's, looked a shade of blue from the moonlight. "Will you go to Senior Prom with me? Be my date? I'll buy you a boutonnière, pick you up in a limo, smile through our parents taking embarrassing photo after embarrassing photo of us, and dance all the slow dances with you. I will take you out to dinner before hand, open doors, pull out chairs, hold your hand, and give you my jacket if you get cold." He swallowed hard. None of asking that was easy, despite how smoothly it came out of his mouth. He was still nervous as hell.

"So a date? You're asking me on a real date?"

"Uh-huh." The anticipation and Blaine's hesitance to come out with a solid yes or no response was killing him.

"And you're sure it's _me_ you want to take?" So little did Blaine get to play with Kurt's new emotions. It was about time Kurt was nervous and not Blaine. He remembered how much of a stuttering mess he was when they first met. Now he saw how adorable it must have been because Kurt looked sweet enough to give him a cavity.

Kurt nodded his head rapidly with a teeth showing smile. "I can't imagine spending such an important right of passage with someone more important to me than you."

There was silence at first, the anticipation of Blaine's answer building. He wasn't pausing for dramatic effect. He knew his answer. Blaine just wanted to revel in the way Kurt's eyes looked at that moment. "Okay," he answered. "I'll be your date to prom."

They didn't hug or kiss or do anything, but stare adoringly with glistening eyes at one another. They were leaps, bounds, and miles beyond where they were at the beginning of the school year. Back in September, Kurt would have already known Blaine's answer because Blaine could never say no to him and Kurt may not have even asked him. Blaine might have, but Kurt would have said that a gay bar on drag queen night would be way more fun and they should do that instead. Then they would have had amazing, mind blowing sex and Kurt may or may not have argued with Blaine at least five times before their night was through. Now they hardly ever bickered. They were like magnets that were polar opposites, but meant to stick to one another all the same. They worked as a team and that was one of the best parts.

…..

Kurt sat in his car, his hands on his steering wheel, trying to sum up the courage he had hoped to have last week when he scheduled the appointment he was about to have. The clock on his radio said that he had five more minutes until he'd be late. Four more minutes and he'd be on time. That gave him three more minutes to decide. Two more minutes to sit and panic. One more minute. Twelve seconds. His heart was pounding in his ears. Kurt was terrified. What had he gotten himself into? He took a breath and willed Blaine's voice into his mind, saying soothing things as he so often did when he was nervous or scared. _You can do this. I know you can._ Another deep breath. "I can do this." Kurt got out of his car and locked it with the remote key, though he was fairly certain that this was one place that his car wouldn't be broken into. The building before him stared him down, daring him to cower and tremble. _You can do this. I know you can._ Another deep breath.

"I can do this," he said to himself again and walked with purpose into the stone building.

….

"What did you do today?" Blaine asked over coffee, his foot bouncing in time with the song playing overhead. He was on his second cup of coffee because he drank an entire cup while waiting for Kurt, who was now sitting across from him, but had been late.

Kurt looked down and started picking at a random spot on the table with his fingernail. "I saw Mason today."

Blaine's foot stopped at the sound of the name. "What?!" he asked incredulously. He combed his mind of how far away Mason's home town is and what the odds were of Kurt running into Mason in Lima. There were no odds. It was a nothing of a town that had nothing for the passerby that they couldn't get in any other town.

"Yeah." Kurt cleared his throat. "I called the lawyers and made an appointment to speak with him."

"Are you all right?" That was Blaine's main concern, Kurt's well-being.

"Yeah. Surprisingly, I'm good. Are you mad at me for not telling you about it beforehand?"

The question shocked Blaine. Why would he be mad? It had nothing to do with him or his opinions on the matter. It was all Kurt's. Blaine only cared about how it would effect Kurt. "No!" he emphasized. "Of course not. I just want to make sure you're okay."

"Yeah. I'm okay."

Blaine reached forward and squeezed Kurt's hand. "Can I ask what happened?"

…

_Kurt was escorted into an office that Kurt knew was used as an interogation room. There was a false mirror on one wall, cameras in two different corners, and a mic on the table. Kurt was asked if a microphone in the room was okay because Kurt wanted his privacy, but was still a little afraid to be truly alone. The door opened and Kurt's breath caught. His throat went dry. Mason was sitting at the table already and looking down as his clasped hands._

_It had been three years since they'd seen each other. It was enough time for Mason to look completely different. From eighteen years of age to twenty one, he had grown into a man. Kurt gulped, hoping for some form of moisture to enter his mouth. _

"_Take a seat, Son," a stocky policeman offered to Kurt. _

_He forced himself to moved forward and sit down. The last time Kurt and Mason were this close in proximity, Kurt was about to get beaten up by him. He gulped again and looked him over. His hair was newly cut and more of a golden brown now. Mason's frame, from what Kurt could see was muscular, like he'd spent three years doing push-ups. _

_For the first five minutes or so, no one said anything. Everything was perfectly quiet to the point that they could hear the tick-tick of the clock. Kurt started counting the number of ticks going by. Finally, he cleared his throat and Mason flinched, which made Kurt jump a little._

"_You're not even going to look at me?" Kurt asked, fighting his urge to get up and leave._

_Slowly, very slowly, Mason brought his chin up and drew his eyes to Kurt's face. He looked him over and over. "You look different."_

"_So do you."_

"_You look good."_

_The skinny teen didn't know how to respond to that. He was just complimented, but not in a sexual way. Mason said it more like Kurt was an old friend. Well, he was, in a way, after all. That is to say, they were secret boyfriends until Kurt almost died because of him._

_When Kurt didn't respond, Mason changed the subject. "You must have been angry when you found out I got out early."_

"_Terrified actually."_

"_I'm sorry. I deserve more than what I got."_

"_Go on…" Kurt urged, not liking the topic, and Mason did._

"_There isn't a minute in my day where I don't regret what I did. There is nothing I can say to make this okay and nothing I can do to make the past disappear. I wish there was some way to undo any of those things, but I can't. I'm-" he stopped himself. His chest was feeling heavy. He'd wanted to say he was sorry to Kurt for so long and now he was able to do it. "Kurt, I'm so sorry. I know that's not good enough I don't ever expect you to forgive me, but, please, I really am sorry." Tears were now forming in his eyes._

"_Did you get into fights in prison?"_

"_Yes."_

"_How often did you lose?"_

"_Most of the time."_

"_Huh," Kurt murmured. "I thought knowing you got the shit kicked out of you would make me feel better, but it doesn't. I don't feel sorry for you, but…" he trailed off and there was silence again. He felt a little like the person he was before Blaine, uncaring and above everything._

"_Why did you want to see me?" Mason asked timidly._

_Kurt put his lip between his teeth and worried it, weighing the pros and cons of having a personal conversation with his former attacker. He finally decided on, what the hell, and answered. "I wanted to know if I could. The past three years have been shit and I'm just now starting to get my life together. I wanted to know if I was as strong as Bl-" he stuttered his speech, "- as a friend said I was."_

"_You are strong. Stronger than me. I got in and out of the car ten times before I forced myself to come here. I couldn't even look at you until you told me too."_

"_You don't have to compliment me. We're not going to be friends."_

"_I never thought badly of you, Kurt. I know you must hate me and I don't blame you. I deserve every bad word you can sling as me, but the truth is that I see you and I still see the guy I fell in love with."_

_Kurt clenched his teeth and grabbed the folder to his right on the table. He knew what was in it because he requested it be there. He opened it up and shoved it towards the man across the table. "How about him? Do you see him when you look at me?" The folder had pictures from Kurt's case file. They were all of Kurt beaten, bruised, bloody, and broken. Mason's eyes immediately shut tight, guilt pouring over his entire self. Kurt received no pleasure out of seeing Mason act this way. Instead, he was angry. Angry at the whole situation and what Mason said. Kurt wasn't the same person, nor did he look the same as when Mason knew him. He wasn't weak and naïve anymore. He wasn't stupid enough to believe and hang on everything Mason Redwood said. "You don't get to talk to me like that. You never loved me and I never loved you. Whatever we had was not love. You don't know what love is. You kept me your dirty little secret until you did that to me. What I have right now, that's love; not what we had." If Kurt had to ability to keep his tone from not biting he would. He hadn't even wanted to mention Blaine, and technically he hadn't, but now he let out this personal information and he hated himself for not being able to control his emotions._

"_So you have someone?" Mason looked apologetic and like he was beating himself up inside. The fact that he was being so nice and pathetic only made Kurt more angry. "I'm happy for you. You deserve someone who can make you happy."_

"_Don't. Just don't. We're not having this conversation at all. You don't get to know if I'm happy and you don't get to know anything about Blaine."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Stop apologizing! I'm not going to forgive you and I don't care about your guilt. I didn't come here for an apology."_

"_Then why are you still here?"_

_The question begged an answer Kurt didn't have. If he came here just to know if he had the strength to face Mason, then why is he still here? He'd already achieved his goal. He hadn't known how tense his body had become until he relaxed back in the chair, crossing his legs and looking down at the metal table. "I don't know." His blue eyes scanned the table before looking up again. "You ruined my life."_

"_I know."_

"_No, you don't. You don't even have a clue."_

"_I met your teacher. The one from Dalton, Malloy." The room went completely silent._

_Kurt's eyes flared again. All the hate he could possibly carry was radiating out from him. His teeth clenched. _How could Mason possibly know about Mr. Malloy? _Kurt thought. "He wasn't my teacher."_

"_Whatever he was… He was in the same prison block as me for a couple weeks before they moved him. He sat at my table at lunch one day." Mason swallowed hard, bile threatening to rise up his throat. Clearly the image of Mr. Malloy in any sense disgusted him. "He told me that he knew who I was and we had a mutual acquaintance." The former jailbird had a vein in his neck that Kurt thought was about to pop. Apparently Kurt wasn't the only one proned to thoughts that angered him more than anything. "The only thing he had a chance to say before I blacked out was '_Thanks for breaking Kurt in for me.'_ I only remember jumping across the table. I came to in solitary confinement and he was in the infirmary for two days before they moved him to another block."_

"_I think I'm going to be sick," Kurt got up from the table and raced to the trash can by the door. He threw up every drop of water he drank in the car ride over to the police station. When he was done, Kurt sat on the floor and cried. Mason didn't come over to console him, which was more than okay with Kurt. He didn't want anyone touching him and definitely didn't want Mason consoling his misery. What he really wanted to do was leave, but he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to leave yet. So, he collected himself, spit a few times to clear his mouth of acidic vomit, wiped the tears away and returned to the table. "If you nearly killed him, how was it you got a 'good behavior' discharge?" He poured himself a cup of water from a pitcher on the table and sipped, curious now._

"_That was a year ago and I didn't do the worst of the damage. My cell mate told me that I was pulled off and a handful of other guys took over. It ended up being a riot because everyone knew who he was and pedophiles aren't exactly respected within prison walls. They're on the bottom of the food chain actually."_

"_Oh." Kurt had heard that sometime on an episode of Law and Order SVU, but wasn't sure how truthful that was._

"_I know you don't want me to be sorry, but I am, Kurt. You went to that school because of me and that makes me feel responsible. I hate myself every minute for what happened to you."_

"_That makes two of us."_

"_I want to do something, but I don't know what to do. I'll never earn your forgiveness and I don't deserve it and there's nothing I can do to take back what happened. I ruined your life."_

"_Yes, you did." There was silence again and Kurt's thoughts went to Blaine. They always did in these moments because whenever Kurt was getting down about his past, he thought of Blaine and remembered that he wouldn't be where he was if it were for Blaine. "Luckily, I have someone who's helping me pick up the broken pieces." He hadn't meant to say it, but he didn't know what else to say. Mason did something awful to Kurt, but Kurt could see that Mason was still the same guy deep down before he attacked Kurt. His hatred for his own self and what he did got him to go after Kurt's other attacker the way Kurt never could. At least that was something._

"_Do you want to tell me about him? He must be pretty special?" Mason's voice was gentle and not prodding. Comforting almost. It made Kurt start to forget for a second that he wasn't here under other circumstances._

"_He is. I was in a really bad place before him… I didn't want things to change, but…" Kurt smiled. He actually smiled at the thought of the boy he loved so much in a time like this. "…He has a way of wiggling himself in and latching onto your heart. I tried, but I can't exactly shake him off. But I'm happy I wasn't able to. He changed my life." In a weird friendly way, Kurt found himself taking his phone out and showing the wallpaper to his phone to Mason. It was a picture of him and Blaine._

"_He's cute."_

"_The cutest." Kurt continued to smile. "He's really smart and incredibly talented. He got into Berkley on early admission."_

"_Wow. That's great, Kurt. You must really love him."_

_Kurt nodded. "And he loves me back."_

…_.._

"That's why you were late for coffee today?" Blaine asked. "Because you were with Mason?"

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?" the curly haired teen re-iterated.

"Yes. I'm fine. For a little while I wondered why I was there in the first place, but, you know? I'm actually really proud of myself."

"Really?" Blaine took a pull of his coffee cup and leaned in, his lips pulling up. He was happy Kurt could find some form of joy in this. It wasn't all that long ago where Kurt wouldn't have even thought to do such a feat of this magnitude, let alone find a positive in it.

"Yeah. I did something I never thought I could do and I'm really proud that I handled it so well. I mean, it was hard and awful for most of it, but I went and I sat with him. I showed emotion and let him know that I don't forgive him. I was able to handle myself on my own. That makes me feel proud that I could do that."

Blaine reached forward, with an awed expression, and clutched Kurt's hand to hold it. "I'm proud of you too. I told you that you were stronger than you thought you were."

"I guess you were right." The two smiled at each other and Blaine's phone rang to life. "Oh!" he exclaimed. "Time to go." Blaine clicked a button to turn off the alarm.

"Where are we going?"

"Tuxes, remember? We have our fittings across town in twenty minutes."

"No, _you_ have a fitting across town for a tux. _I _get to pick out a vest because I already have three tuxes," Kurt clarified playfully and taking an elongated sip from his coffee cup.

Blaine grinned. "And you're sure you want soft pink as our matching color?"

"Right now? Yes. When I get there, Not sure. It might change based on what their selection is. I wish you would just let me buy you a tux."

"You already spend a lot of money on me. I've never had to spend a dime on our D.C. trips."

"That was Dad's money. The congressman bought you plane tickets, hotel rooms, and food. I merely asked you on a date."

_A date._ The two words put together and coming out of Kurt's mouth halted Blaine's words. He remembered having to promise Kurt he'd have sex with him to get him on a date before. How long ago that was. How different they both were. _A date._ That's what prom was for them. It was another step taken. Asking Blaine was saying that Kurt was ready for more and saying yes was telling Kurt that's what Blaine wanted. That is was Blaine wanted. There was no question there and no 'but' to the thought. He was going on a date with Kurt Hummel and he was finally getting what he wanted since the moment he laid eyes on the delicate boy across the table from him back in September. The feeling he got in his chest was almost enough to make him want to skip all the steps together and tell him how much he loved him right then and there. _Almost_.

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	30. Chapter 30

**Okay, so my life sort of got really busy for too long and then I ran into a block with this story. When I finally came out of the block, I didn't have time, but I promised people that I hadn't abandoned this story, so this is me trying to make amends. I hope you like this chapter and I hope you haven't forgotten about this story :(**

**xoxo Grace**

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**Chapter 30**

Despite Blaine's worries about the idiot jocks that he hated making his date with Kurt go sour, the night was going better than he thought possible. As promised, Kurt picked Blaine up in a limo. It was black and sleek looking with sparkling cider in a chiller, flower petals scattered everywhere, and a dish of Hershey kisses. Blaine's eyes went wide when he saw it, then again when he got inside. His mother went nuts taking pictures to the point when Kurt's word to stand by him while their parents took embarrassing photos became a reality.

They had bought each other boutonnières and went out for dinner at a restaurant on the outskirts of town that was entirely too expensive in Blaine's mind, but Kurt stopped him from complaining before he had even started. "This is really amazing and the restaurant is beautiful-" he began.

"I'm glad you like it, but I hope that the end of your sentence isn't going to end with a complaint because I went through a lot of trouble to make this a beautiful evening that you could enjoy guilt free." Kurt flashed a look that was reminiscent of the spoiled brat that Blaine first fell in love with.

Blaine gulped and shut his mouth. "Um… No. I was just going to say thank you. Even if the redneck bigots try to ruin our night, they can't take away how perfect you have made our night so far."

The comment was meant to be sweet, but Kurt took it to heart and saw his underlying worry. He reached across the table and covered Blaine's hand. "Nothing and no one is going to ruin our night. Got it? I saw to it."

"You _saw to it_? What does that mean?"

"I made Karofsky threaten the other jocks and bribed Coach Sylvester to kick out anyone who bothered me. With the work I had done free of charge to her La Car, she promised me that if anyone comes near us, she'll make their lives a living hell. Dave told them that he wasn't going to baby sit the immature assholes and if he had to take time away from his own date they would suffer one way or another. Tonight is our night. I promised you a magical night and that's what we're going to have." Blaine's fear melted and his mouth pulled into a tiny smile while his eyes glistened. Kurt felt eyes on them and his head whipped to the side. It had appeared that he spoke too soon. He could plan ahead for what could happen in the confines of prom, but he hadn't thought of what could happen at the restaurant. Sure enough, a couple that looked to be maybe a few years older than his own father was staring at them with scrunched faces. "Can I help you?" He snapped.

"Would you mind keeping your _tendencies _to yourself?" spat the woman while she grimaced.

_Tendencies?_ Kurt thought grotesquely. _All I did was touch his hand._ He could feel his forehead growing hot and he knew it was due to his blood boiling in his veins. It was one thing to be bullied by his peers, but he would never get used to the monsters on the outside. "Would you mind keeping your bigotry to yourself?" Kurt answered.

"We have a right to have a nice dinner without your kind shoving your ways in our face," The man added.

Blaine slipped his hand out from under Kurt's, but Kurt quickly took it back, curling his fingers around the hand protectively. "Kurt, it's fine. Don't start a-" His voice was soft, almost a whisper. He didn't want a problem or a scene to erupt, but knowing Kurt, Blaine wasn't going to get his way. Kurt was definitely going to cause a scene.

"And _we_ have a right to have a nice dinner without a stranger inserting themselves into our conversation."

"You're disgusting."

"Yeah, newsflash! Lady," Kurt flourished his pointer finger, twirling it in the direction of the woman. "-that dress is disgusting and you have entirely too much make up on. Oh! And I think our oil crisis could be solved if a government official took a look at your husband's face."

"Kurt-" Blaine pleaded quietly. "Please, stop."

The woman guffawed and a man in a suit approached the couple's table. The man in the suit eyed Kurt first, but turned his attention to the couple. "Is everything all right?"

Blaine was still looking at Kurt uncomfortably. He wanted to leave, but his mind wandered when he saw Kurt visibly relax. His shoulders lowered and the tension in his hand that held Blaine's eased. A smile presented itself on Kurt's face as well. It looked like he was about to win something and knew it.

"These young men are rude and are making it impossible to enjoy our evening. I demand to be moved to another table." The man's eyes were practically bugging out of his skull as he blamed Kurt and Blaine for everything even though it was them who started the problematic scene.

"Actually, I'd like to request you and your wife leave our establishment immediately."

"Excuse me?" The wife guffawed again.

"I was right over there and saw the whole thing. As the owner of this establishment, I can promise you that I don't condone bigotry and/or any form of cruelty to my staff or customers. I suggest you leave immediately or I'll be forced to call the police to have you escorted out."

The couple scoffed and stood. They grabbed their things and exited the restaurant immediately to the sound of applause that was directed to the concierge who kicked them out. Blaine was astonished about what just transpired while Kurt continued to smile with a twinge of smugness.

The owner approached their table and Kurt held his hand out for a handshake of gratitude. "Thank you, John."

"My pleasure, Mr. Hummel. I apologize for the intrusion; I hope your night isn't ruined."

"Not at all." He was lying, but only to save face. Kurt had yet to look Blaine in the eyes, but he was sure at least some of the evening was ruined.

"In any case, please let me take care of your meal for you."

"That's not necessary. What you did for us was enough."

"I insist. Your money is no good here tonight. Please tell your father I said 'hello." John flashed a smile and promptly left them alone.

When Kurt turned his gaze to finally look at Blaine, he was met with a look of shock and awe. "What?" he asked with a grin. He was thinking quickly and came to the conclusion that if he acted like it was nothing, than maybe Blaine would follow suit and perhaps even forget a little about his anxieties.

"What just happened?"

"John is taking care of our bill."

"You know him?"

"Of course I do. He and his husband Marc helped out on my dad's campaign. If you ever want to see how gays hold political parties, go to one of theirs. They do an amazing job." He continued to smile and took a sip of his water.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Did you know that was going to happen?"

"Which part?"

"All of it."

"No. I didn't anticipate Idiot One and Two, but I saw John nearby and knew that he would take care of them for us."

"You didn't have to say all of that to them."

"They didn't need to stare at us the way we did and me holding your hand is not disgusting. I was not in the wrong."

"I know, but-"

"But?" Part of Kurt felt the need to defend himself, but knew it would undoubtedly start a fight. The rest of Kurt felt bad for making Blaine uncomfortable and clearly self conscious. Blaine had wanted a quiet evening where they weren't the center of people's looks and thoughts.

"But nothing. It's fine. You're right. It's over anyway."

"I'm sorry. This isn't going how I planned. I wanted a nice evening and I almost ruined it. You're right. I could have handled that differently."

"Let's just forget about it and enjoy the rest of our dinner." Blaine forced a small smile, trying to move past his worries and following his own advice.

Kurt smiled back comfortingly and put his hand back on top of Blaine's. A twinge of hurt surged through him when he felt Blaine's hand flinch underneath him as if his first reaction was to take his hand away. "I'm sorry. I really am."

Before Blaine had a chance to respond, the waiter arrived with a tray of two fluted glasses filled with Shirley Temples, they assumed took the place of wine or champagne, and two single roses cloaked in a cloth napkin. "There is a party at table seven that would like to give you both of these." He put everything down and then pulled a note from his pocket and handed it to Kurt.

_We wish we had your courage when we were your age. Thank you. All our love, Table 7._ Kurt smiled proudly and showed Blaine the note. "Which table is table seven?"

"Over there in the corner." The waiter gestured and Kurt looked to see a table of four older people, two men and two women, that looked old enough to have been years past retirement. All four were looking back at him and Blaine whose head was down and reading the note over and over.

Kurt bobbed his head in gratitude and they did the same, accompanying their nods with smiles and one of the men even had tears in his eyes. "Blaine," he whispered as he nudged him.

Blaine looked up and saw what Kurt saw. In that moment, there was something that passed between the couples, young and old. It was more than gratitude or respect. Then, just like that, the night was restored.

Blaine stared at the school he formerly attended before Kurt asked to escort him inside when they arrived for prom. He hated almost everything about this place, but was willing to return to it because Kurt asked him to. There wasn't much he wouldn't do for Kurt. "You know, it isn't too late to just go do something else, if you wanted…" he said nervously.

Kurt chuckled and cuffed his arm around Blaine's. "Relax. Everything will be fine. You might even have a fun. I know that's a foreign concept to you and everything." With that said, they walked themselves into the building, making the required stops as necessary.

They stopped at check in and showed the principal their tickets. He gave the couple a happy look that Kurt always thought of as dopey. "This is a first, you know. In all my years as a principal at McKinley High School, I've never seen two boys attend together."

"There's a first for everything," Kurt said, trying not to be too clip with the principal.

"And I'm glad for that. Tell your father he's got my vote when re-elections come around."

"I will. Thanks."

"Good to see you again, Mr. Anderson," he directed at Blaine.

"You too," Blaine lied politely.

They walked themselves to their table which was with Brittany and Artie, Karofsky and Santana, Quinn and Finn. It wasn't the table that Blaine would have preferred to be at, but he understood. Karofsky was with Santana and there was no way that Santana would want to sit with Karofsky's friends. Brittany and she were attached at the hip so, Artie was forced to follow. Quinn rounded out the unholy trinity and Finn was her date. Blaine and Artie sat next to each other because they actually were friends in the sense that they didn't really hang out, but they would talk to each other and have similar interests here and there when Blaine was in school. But he hadn't really spoken to too many of his old crew once he was free from McKinley. Kurt held his hand under the table, while Blaine and Artie talked about what it was like on the outside and Kurt and the girls talked about dresses and whose was a disaster and who looked stunning. Karofsky and Finn talked sports.

This seemed to have changed a little since Blaine had left. Karofsky was still nice to people, but there was more of an intermingling of camps between the jocks and glee kids. As Kurt promised, no one tried to mess with or say anything rude to Blaine or Kurt. In fact, it kind of looked like Kurt was becoming a little popular again. Well, at least, with the girls he was. Leave it to the girls to want a Gay Best Friend. Kurt didn't seem to care though. It was an endless color commentary about outfits and dates and trash and glamour. If Blaine didn't find it humorous, he might have found it catty and mean.

Then there was dancing and Blaine promised Kurt he'd dance with him. They moved along to the music, but their dance moves differed from the way they used to dance at the gay clubs. Blaine was sure they'd be kicked out for that kind of dancing because it would put Dirty Dancing to shame, but that didn't stop Kurt from touching him on his hips and shoulders from time to time. When they were slow dancing, however, it would be an understatement to say that Kurt and Blaine were in a fish tank. Everyone was looking in on them as they swayed to and fro, round and round.

"Are you having fun?" Kurt asked, as they slow danced to _I Don't Want To Miss A Thing_. He was well aware of the looks they were getting because, admittedly, watching two guys dance was something interesting for someone who hadn't seen it before because, if they weren't bothered, they still wanted to see where both boys put their hands. Who had their hands on top and who had their hands on bottom? In their case, Blaine was shorter, so his hands were around Kurt's waist; they were on his hips, but Kurt pulled Blaine closer, daring him to be comfortable despite the stares. _You're with me and I'm damn proud of that. I'm going to show you off, no matter what,_ he thought. In a way, he was making up for hiding him for all those months in the past.

Blaine pondered the question on fun. He tipped his head back and forth, considering it. "Yeah. I guess I am. You?"

"I'm with you. Of course, I'm having fun." He said it like it should have been obvious to his date and followed it up with a, "duh" before nudging him playfully.

Blaine smiled and held back a blush.

"Mind if I cut in?" Tina asked adorably when she and Mike pivoted their way next to the duo. "Blainey-days, where have you been? I've missed you."

Kurt pulled Blaine closer and wrapped his arms around the shorter boy's neck. "I most certainly do mind. I'm not letting my date go for a second."

The curly haired boy tried to give his own answer, but his face was squished to Kurt's chest like a cartoon character. He was finally able to speak when Kurt let him pull back some. "I've been busy. Being an adult is proving to be more time consuming than you'd think. I can't complain though. Most nights I'm at Kurt's after the gym or work."

Their conversation was interrupted by Principal Figgins because he was announcing that it was time to crown the Prom King and Queen. The music stopped and everyone stopped dancing, turning themselves to look at the stage.

All the nominees for King and Queen stood on the stage. Finn and Karofsky were among the three male nominees and Santana and Quinn were in the group of eligible Queens. If Blaine were a betting man, his money would have gone to Finn and Quinn as the royalty, but Santana and Karofsky were almost as popular as they were. The other couple, who Blaine didn't know, probably didn't stand a chance.

The King was announced. Karofsky won for King, to the surprise of many because Finn had always been the most popular. Then there was a moment of silence before the drum roll for Queen. Blaine froze. The name was announced, but the name wasn't one of the girls on the stage. In fact, it wasn't a girls name at all. "Kurt Hummel." Silence again. Blaine held tight to Kurt's arm and looked up at him, feeling both alarmed and hurt for the boy on his arm.

Kurt's face was taught, his jaw clenched. For five seconds, he held in his anger. The people who did this had waited all year to do something to him. They could never bully him to his face because of who he was, but anonymous ballot? There would be no repercussions for that. _Don't let them see you choke,_ Kurt thought to himself. _You're better than this._ In an instant, he knew what to do. "Yes!" he cheered aloud. His arms flung up into the air. "Woo-hoo!" He turned to Blaine and kissed him on the cheek in front of everyone.

"What are you doing?" Blaine whispered quickly, panicked.

"I'm getting coroneted." He smiled and made a funny face. "It'll be fine," he whispered and took off for the stage.

Traversing the stage, Kurt got a glance at Karofsky, who was sitting on his throne and grinning as if to say, "I can't believe you right now." Only Kurt Hummel could pull this off. Seeing his friend, Kurt felt even more empowered and knew he had the support of the person who was his first friend at McKinley High School.

"Are you okay?" Figgins asked quietly when Kurt reached him.

"Okay? You bet! I'm getting a crown!" Instead of a tiara, thankfully, another king crown was put on his head and Kurt made a point to curtsy because he wanted to get a good look at the crowd. It was clear that all the grim faces belonged to the people who voted for him as a cruel joke and were dissatisfied with his lack of embarrassment. Instead, everyone was cheering him on. Kurt's actions were working more in favor of Kurt than the bigoted bullies.

Karofsky was escorted to the center stage again to stand next to his friend as Prom Royalty. "Really, Kurt? Prom Queen?"

"Jealous?" Kurt laughed. This wasn't as bad as he originally felt it was. Being able to make a fool out of himself was actually making him feel better about it. Also, having Dave right next to him helped a lot.

"A little. You know we have to dance, right?"

"You don't have to. You can make a scene and run off. That'll make you closer to drama queen at least."

"Are you kidding? Never. Girl, we're gonna dance."

Kurt laughed. Dave's quip of calling him girl was rare, but it did happen and it always made them both laugh hard. The two of them dancing wasn't so far fetched after all. Everyone knew by now that Kurt and Dave were friends. Dave often came to Kurt's rescue in the locker rooms with comebacks and threats. Not that Kurt couldn't handle himself with his own words.

They walked down to the floor, where a circle was formed around them and Kurt winked at Blaine as he went passed. Of all the songs that could have been played, Dancing Queen was the one chosen. Dave was not a very good dancer, but Kurt and Dave boogied together, not as a slow dance, but regular dancing and purposefully making fools out of themselves as if they choreographed it. Kurt would pretend to be fishing and reeling in Dave, while they both did all the cheesy wedding moves like the shopping cart and the sprinkler. Nothing about it gave away Dave's homosexuality. In all of Kurt's life, he had never been more thankful to have friends like Karofsky and Blaine. He didn't know where he would be without them.

The song ended and Karofsky surprised everyone by giving Kurt a big bear hug and patting him on the back before returning to his own date.

"You're unbelievable," Blaine stated with a chuckle and hugging his date tightly.

"Look, I'm a queen!" Kurt exclaimed, striking a vogue pose to frame his new crown.

"No one else, but you could do what you just did. I really admire your strength."

"I learned from the best." Kurt winked again. "Come on, let's get some punch.

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